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Sunday, October 30, 2016

Gate

Trust in dreams for in them is hidden the gate to eternity.
~ Khalil Gibran
- - - - -

A closed gate - even a locked gate - without a fence is nothing more than a slight inconvenience. You can walk around a locked gate. 

Maybe ultimately nothing is more than a locked gate. There are ways through-around-over. Always. All ways. 

Now, might there be a rabid dog behind that gate? Yes. There might be.

Of course there also might be a rabid raccoon behind you. So there's that.

Also, you should move away from here. There's too much rabies here.

Saturday, October 29, 2016

Grow

If people refuse to look at you in a new light and they can only see you for what you were, only see you for the mistakes you've made, if they don't realize that you are not your mistakes, they have to go.
~ Steve Maraboli
- - - - -

I don't think it should be that surprising that some people have narrow minds. There's a reason for that, right? Don't the narrow things fit more easily in cupboards and suitcases? Aren't they lighter? Aren't they simpler? 

Who would want to be encumbered with an open, growing, changing, evolving, new mind? That's a lot of work. 

Of course, one might argue that most great things are the result of a lot of hard work.

Or one might not argue at all. One might just know.

Friday, October 28, 2016

Maddie

Photography is the story I fail to put into words.
~ Destin Sparks
- - - - -

Maddie sent me that photo. I have it in my office. It was from her adventures.

Maddie and I used to not get along so well. We do now. Is it because she is growing up?

Nope. I think it's because I am growing up.

Happy birthday, Maddie.

Thursday, October 27, 2016

Thinking

The mind is not a vessel to be filled, but a fire to be kindled.
~ Plutarch
- - - - -

I think that good thinkers don't keep their thoughts to themselves. Instead, they give and share their thoughts with others. Then others have thoughts to think about. By thinking and sharing you give others things to think about.

That said, there are exceptions. Some people won't think no matter what you give them. They have already stopped thinking. They just speak.

I prefer quiet thinkers and sharers. 

The louder speaker people get more attention. But that's about all they get. 

Wait. Not true.

They also get annoying.

Wednesday, October 26, 2016

Stories

You get old and you realize there are no answers, just stories.
~ Garrison Keillor
- - - - -

I would have done a lot better in school if people had given me a quiz to tell stories instead of a quiz to give answers. Also, if I had done the reading I would have done better. And if I wasn't such a know-it-all. And if -- well, I actually did fine in school.

It just would have been more fun if I had gotten to tell more stories instead of having to listen to more answers. Guess what teachers? I got older and found out a lot of the answers you gave me were either wrong or only part of the stories I didn't get told.

Except in Professor Mack's classes. Because I'm still a little scared of her. 

Tuesday, October 25, 2016

Beach

Don't grow up too quickly lest you forget how much you love the beach.
~ Michelle Held
- - - - -

How could one ever forget how much she loves the beach? 

(pause)

By getting busy. 

Which is kind of the same as getting old. 

Little kids are doing things, but not busy. They don't complain about being busy. They just have lots to do and excitedly pursue those things. Organizing stuffed animals for school or banging on pots and pans or seeing how high they can climb.

Maybe the difference is in the compulsion to DO. Are we DOING for our own enjoyment and fulfillment or are we DOING because doing is what doers do?

I would say be careful about the now-now and the gotta-gotta and the do-do, but that could be misinterpreted.

Of course the truth is one ought to be careful to avoid do-do and doo-doo. They are both pretty crappy things.

Monday, October 24, 2016

Roof

The roof might fall in; anything could happen.
Dashiell Hammett
- - - - -

Part of the fun of life is the unpredictability of it. Right? I mean, if we knew what was going to happen - what's the fun in that? That's like opening all of your Christmas presents before Christmas. That's not fun. And then you have to pretend that you are surprised by everything. That's not fun.

Allegedly.



Sunday, October 23, 2016

Matching

Matching shoes and bags immediately age you by ten years.
~ Ines de la Fressange
- - - - -

"Dammit," Giselle thought. "She's wearing the same socks I have on."

Giselle wasn't one to catch all the details.

Also, apparently 11 year olds who want to get into bars just need matching shoes and handbags. Thanks for corrupting the youth Ines de la Fressange

Saturday, October 22, 2016

Scared

It's as much fun to scare as to be scared.
~ Vincent Price
- - - - -

Do you think this witch is a mannequin? Frozen and staring and creepy? Nope, she is alive. And real. And so is the woman on the left in the costume.

BWAAA HA HA HA HA.

Yes, kids you can use that joke on trick or treating night. The thing is, it won't make any sense without the photo and you really don't need to be carrying the photo as a prop on trick or treat night. You need to be carrying your candy bag and a flashlight. Also, look both ways before your cross the street. And leave the rotten eggs at home.

Dang. Kids can be jerks.

Friday, October 21, 2016

Live

To defend what you have written is a sign that you are alive.
~ William Zinsser
- - - - -

I would love to believe that this was written by someone who is dyslexic and hates someone named "Stel."

Monday, October 10, 2016

Mail

I get mail; therefore I am.
~ Scott Adams
- - - - -

Someone is sending me a LOT of Nicolas Cage pillow covers. A lot. And one Nicolas Cage activity book. This is disturbing to some of those around me. I am strangely immune to it. I am just one of those people people send random things to. It's part of my lived experience. So far no one has sent me anything that was too disturbing. Unless you considered parts of Barbie dolls disturbing. But if you do, that's on you.

Today I was thinking about all the items I've gotten. I don't have a particular affinity of Nicolas Cage. I don't have a particular dislike of him. He did bump into me once in a souvenir store in Las Vegas, but I think he was leaving. 

(pause)

Get it?

Anyway, this morning I thought, "I wonder if he is getting a bunch of pillowcases with pictures of me on them?"

(pause)

Probably not, but if he is I bet HE is weirded out by that.

Saturday, October 8, 2016

Sugar

The ability to deal with people is as purchasable a commodity as sugar or coffee and I will pay more for that ability than any other under the sun.
~ John D. Rockefeller
- - - - -

A few weeks ago Leslie and I were at a park. I swear that I heard someone calling to one of the little girls there. I swear that the name they called to the little girl was "Splenda."

I guess I know what that little girl was made of.

Friday, October 7, 2016

Unicorns

There is no such thing as a great man or a great woman. People believe in them just as they used to believe in unicorns and dragons. The greatest man or woman is 99% just like yourself.
~ George Bernard Shaw
- - - - -

What would a horn of plenty of unicorns look like? And how many unicorns would be in it? I'm guessing only one or two. Unicorns look all nice and sparkly and rainbowy from a distance, but I bet they're a handful. 

Hey. Also this:

Why don't they call unicorns "hornses" instead?

Why? I'll tell you why, because unicorns are high maintenance and too fancy to just be called hornses, that's why.

Thursday, October 6, 2016

Rhymes

The pig, if I am not mistaken,
Gives us ham and pork and bacon.
Let others think his heart is big.
I think it stupid of the pig.
~ Ogden Nash
- - - - -

What do you use to cover a hogback? Easy. A blanket. Pigs in a blanket. Or maybe a cloak? Pork in a cloak? 

Pork and cloak don't rhyme but they almost sorta do. That's called a slant rhyme. It's also called a "those words don't rhyme."

Wednesday, October 5, 2016

Graffiti

Graffiti is one of the few tools you have if you have almost nothing. And even if you don't come up with a picture to cure world poverty you can make someone smile while they're having a piss.
~ Bansky
- - - - -

I like this quote. I like this picture.

(pause)

Just for the record, graffiti can make you smile even when you're not urinating.

Tuesday, October 4, 2016

Roads

Walk on your own yellow brick road. If you can't find one, spray paint your way into happiness. If that doesn't work, buy yellow shoes.
~ Sadique Hamdan
- - - - -

I think that sometimes if you friend suggests you follow complete strangers down a yellow brick path with floaties zip tied together to make a rainbow, you should do just that.

NOTE: This does not apply to children. You need to stay away from strangers. 

NOTE: It probably should also not apply to adults if you really think about it.