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Sunday, April 30, 2017

Loved

We loved with a love that was more than love.
~ Edgar Allan Poe
- - - - -

We get it, Raemonia.  We get it.

Oh, and just for the record, allegedly - according to Raemonia - the shag is a dance. 

Whatever, Raemonia. Whatever.

Saturday, April 29, 2017

Communication

To effectively communicate, we must realize that we are all different in the way that we perceive the world and use this understanding as a guide to our communication with others.
~ Anthony Robbins
- - - - -

I love language. I love how confusing and beautiful and grating it is. 

So, let's think of an example. Do you have one? (pause) Okay, well I have an example. My example is "brainstorm." First of all it's amazing because of the imagery. 

Now let's play with it a little bit. What if we change a couple letters around so we have "brianstorm"? What would that mean? When a guy named Brian storms out of a room? When a guy named Brian comes up with good and random ideas? Who knows? It's a new word. WE get to decide.

Let's change it one more time. What if we drop a letter? It becomes "branstormed." What would that mean? Well... let's think. Why do people eat bran?

(pause)

Let's not talk about "branstorming" ever again.

Friday, April 28, 2017

Tree

I think that I shall never see,
A poem as lovely as a tree.
~ Joyce Kilmer
- - - - -

Working drafts of this poem included:

I think that I shall never tell,
Of anything lovely as a shell.

I think that I shall never gawk,
At anything lovely as a rock.

I think that I shall never glower,
At anything as lovely as a flower.

I think the tree thing was the best choice.

Thursday, April 27, 2017

Play

All art is political in that it serves someone's politics.
~ August Wilson
- - - - -

First of all, let me say that I took this photo before the play started.  I took it before the "HEY! Don't take photos of this play!!" announcement was announced.

Isn't it a cool set?

It was for an August Wilson play.

It was a very, very good play.

All work and no plays makes Jack a dull boy. A dull boy with a limited perspective and a lack of appreciation for the fine arts.

Poor Jack.

Wednesday, April 26, 2017

Snack

The from far away across the world he smelled good things to eat, so he gave up being king of the wild things.
~ Maurice Sendak
- - - - -

My dad did this thing where he scraped his plate.  He scraped every last little bitlet of food off of his plate.  Sometimes this meant he wanted someone to offer to pass him more food.  Other times it meant he is done.  Anyway, it used to annoy me as a child.

Then, I discovered that I do the same thing.  It has to be environmental, right?  There can’t be a genetic marker for plate scraping, can there?  Well, regardless, the good news is that I don’t do it all of the time.  I only do it at one particular time.  When I am eating chocolate pudding out of one of those little pudding cup things.  Because there should be just one more bite of chocolate pudding before it’s gone.  There isn’t, but if I scrape the sides enough, there almost is.

And then there's Aurora. She wasn't at the point where she was using utensils much when this photo was taken. But isn't she cute?

Tuesday, April 25, 2017

Singing

He who sings scares away his woes.
~ Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra
- - - - -

Overheard...

1: She used to sing in band.

2: She was in a band?!

1: No, marching band.  She used to sing when we were in marching band.  It was annoying.

Monday, April 24, 2017

Science

Science is basically an inoculation against charlatans.
~ Neil deGrasse Tyson
- - - - -

If science is a myth, I shouldn't have had to retake Biology in undergrad. 

Also, if facts are myths, I should have gotten a better grade in Folklore and Mythology.  And my journalism classes. And "Normal Psychology." And Astronomy. 

(Pause)

Also, I maybe should have studied more as an undergraduate student. 

Sunday, April 23, 2017

Beer

A fine beer may be judged by one sip, but it's better to be thoroughly sure.
~ Czech Proverb
- - - - -

Some people like to drink.  Some people like to exercise.  Some people like to drink and also like to exercise.  I propose a new way of enjoying both of these activities simultaneously. And I suggest we call it "Treadmillertime."

(pause)

I see absolutely no danger in this concept.

NOTE: I'm not an expert on risk-management.

Saturday, April 22, 2017

Dirt

My mother says I was writing before I was crawling. I wrote in the dirt with a twig.
~ Alice Walker
- - - - -

When people say someone is grounded or down to earth, I wonder how literally they mean it. I think that to be those things you have to get a little bit dirty. Being authentic is not being clean. Being authentic is doing work. 

Other times when someone says a person is grounded they mean that person got in trouble and can't come out to play. 

Words are magic.

Friday, April 21, 2017

Literal

lit·er·al
ˈlidərəl,ˈlitrəl/
adjective
  1. 1
    taking words in their usual or most basic sense without metaphor or allegory.

    "dreadful in its literal sense, full of dread"
  2. 2
    (of a translation) representing the exact words of the original text.
    synonyms:
    word-for-word, verbatim, letter-for-letter; More


~ Google
- - - - -

Lots of people use the word "literally" wrong. 

They use it illiteracy.

Thursday, April 20, 2017

Corn



 
I'm a man with many defects. I love. I sing. I dream. I was born in the poor countryside. I was raised in the countryside, planting corn and selling sweets made by grandmother. My children, my two daughters are with me, and I want a better world for my grandchildren, for your grandchildren.
~ Hugo Chavez
- - - - -

I also have many defects. We used to play the card game Pit. I used to hold one of every crop so no one could win. It would go on for a really long time. I liked it. It made me smile. It made me laugh, too. Until everyone would get angry at me after they figured out what I was doing. I think actually they had many defects, not me.

Wednesday, April 19, 2017

Messages

It occurs to me that we allow ourselves to imagine 
only such messages as we need to survive.
~ Joan Didion
- - - - -

In one of my former work-lives I had a colleague who - after a string of brilliant, funny, fun, creative, energizing exchanges of non-workish stuff over our work listserv (in which she chose not to participate, but was CCd, anyway) asked if we could create a second email list for "fun" things and leave one for "work" things.

I was annoyed.

And also confused - should work and fun not be the same things? At least as often as possible?

Anyway, I found this message recently that I had sent out to all of the staff. I am not sure if it was before or after the request was made:

On NPR this week I learned that female cheetahs are attracted to Obsession for Men by Calvin Klein. If you are planning a trip to the cheetah-lands of the world, you might want to wear it (they like it) or not (if you don't want them rubbing up against you).

So... what list does something like THIS go on, smarty??!

Tuesday, April 18, 2017

Painting

Painting is damned difficult. 
You always think you've got it, but you haven't.
~ Paul Cezanne
- - - - -

I wonder, in this case, if "VOLS" is short for "VandOLiSm." I wonder only because I think maybe people who deface property might not be good at spelling.



P.S. This is probably done with a marker instead of paint, but SHUT UP.

Monday, April 17, 2017

Cleaning

My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.
~ Erma Bombeck
- - - - -

I don't mind cleaning. I do when I don't have time for it. And I can't stand crumbs - they gross me out. But dusting, or cleaning the bathroom or whatever. Those things are fine. 

I also don't mind cleaning my own bathrooms. I would not enjoy cleaning someone else's because other people's bathroom dirt is icky. Though, for the record, I have had that job before.

And dishes. I don't mind those too much. It is easier now that we have a dishwasher, though apparently you still have some dishes you have to do by hand either because they aren't supposed to go or don't fit in the dishwasher. 

If you were wondering, even on a busy dish-washing night, unless we have had company over, I can get most of the dishes washed and the rest loaded in the dishwasher in less time than it takes to listen to "Don't Fear the Reaper" by Blue Oyster Cult. And yes, I checked.

Sunday, April 16, 2017

Hats

(photo by Chandler Lewis)
I was so captivated by the hats and the stories of the women.
~ Susan Tsu
- - - - -
I believe that any hat can be jaunty if you wear it right.

I also believe any person can be jaunty if they wear their face right.

(pause)

I guess what it comes down to is that I believe in jauntiness.

Saturday, April 15, 2017

Money

You don't pay taxes -- they take taxes.
~ Chris Rock
- - - - -

They don't take taxes from everyone.

Friday, April 14, 2017

Field

Take rest; a field that has rested gives a beautiful crop.
~ Ovid
- - - - -

Growing things is a lot of work. It takes a toll. This is particularly true when one grows anxious.

So quit it.

Thursday, April 13, 2017

Trouble

Trouble is a part of your life -- if you don't share it, you don't give the person who loves you a chance to love you enough.
~ Dinah Shore
- - - - -

I once had a conversation with a four-year-old about a person I knew who had been through a lot in her life recently. I said, "She's had almost every kind of trouble you can imagine."

The kid looked at me for a second and then asked, "Has she had a wedgie?"

I don't think the woman HAD had a wedgie of late. So there was that.

Wednesday, April 12, 2017

Self

If you love yourself, you love others. If you hate yourself, you hate others. In relationship with others, it is only you, mirrored.
~ Osho
- - - - -

I was going through old email the other day and came across this from my dad about my niece: 

Just wanted to let you all know that Sarah announced earlier today that next week is Sarah Appreciation Week.  : )

Well, I blew that celebration off. Sorry.

Tuesday, April 11, 2017

Library

Whatever the cost of our libraries, the price is cheap compared to that of an ignorant nation.
~ Walter Cronkite
- - - - -

I worry that people don't read enough anymore. They read Tweets or Facebook posts or blogs (like this one), but they don't read history or literature or political documents (like The Constitution - that's a good one).

I wish that people would read more, think more, listen more, and act more. In that order.

I dream big.

Monday, April 10, 2017

Worry

Worry often gives a small thing a big shadow.
~ Swedish Proverb
- - - - -

Sometimes I have ideas for things, but do a little investigating and realize someone else has already had the same idea. Case in point from recently: "haikunamatata." I was going to write a haiku of the song here in this blog. Okay, if we're honest, I was just going to break up the song into lines of 5-7-5 syllables. 

Someone else (maybe a few someone elses) already thought of that. 

I am a bit slow on that one. People have had 22 years since the Lion King came out and I'm pretty sure that saying was around and being said for a long time before that.

I'll get over it. Seriously. No worries.

Sunday, April 9, 2017

Light

Give me the splendid silent sun with all his beams full-dazzling.
~ Walt Whitman
- - - - -

The sun does amazing things. It casts shadows. It illuminates. It winds itself around trees and branches and shines through leaves. It glows and warms. It is amazing and beautiful whether rising or setting.

That said, I wouldn't want to have to try and keep it in my backyard. First, it would burn the earth to death. Second, my yard isn't that big. Third, I have nice neighbors, but I bet they'd complain about that. Fourth, I don't know if I'd be able to get much sleep with the sun in my backyard. 

Despite it all, "Keeper of the Sun" would be a pretty cool title for me to have.

Saturday, April 8, 2017

Love

The most painful thing is losing yourself in the process of loving someone too much, and forgetting you are special too.
~ Ernest Hemingway
- - - - -

You might wonder who this B person is. Is it Aunt Bea from Mayberry? Is it Lucille "B"all who said, "Love yourself first and everything else falls into line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world." Is it Rutherford "B." Hayes?

No.

Those people are all dead. In fact, Rutherford B. Hayes was dead before spray paint was even invented. Why would you have guessed him? That was a bad guess.

Friday, April 7, 2017

Fair

The world is not fair, and often fools, cowards, liars, and the selfish hide in high places.
~ Bryant H. McGill
- - - - -

The other day I was in the grocery store and an old woman offered me a beautiful apple. I asked her what kind it was. She said, "It is an Envy apple." I thanked her and took it.

When I got home, I ate it. It was one of the best apples I have ever had. I liked it a lot. 

Then I felt sleepy. 

Then the seven little men with whom I live (don't ask. it's complicated) put me in a glass case. 

(pause)

Okay, other than the fact that I ate an apple the other day, most of that isn't true. It WAS called an "Envy" apple. I hadn't had that kind before. It WAS very, very good.

On a very, very, very loosely related note...

The Elbert County Fair is the fair of them all.

Thursday, April 6, 2017

Acid

Tragedy is like strong acid - it dissolves away all but the very gold of truth.
~ D. H. Lawrence
- - - - -

If you have two things and one of the things is Bactine and the other of the things is your contact solution, I have an idea. Don't keep those things beside each other because if you do, then you might accidentally put the contacts you were soaking overnight in Bactine in your eyes in the morning.

This may or may not be based on a true story. It isn't about me, but I may have been around there when it happened. Also it doesn't really end in tragedy (just extended discomfort followed by recovery). 

You're welcome.

Wednesday, April 5, 2017

Stop

Stop waiting for a producer. Produce yourself.
~ Marianne Williamson
- - - - -

If a stop sign stops working then it has followed it's own advice, right?



Tuesday, April 4, 2017

Control

Only you can control your future.
~ Dr. Seuss
- - - - -
I did some research and found out that this is a controller for a model train. I thought it was something different. I thought it was the switch thing you threw to create a Frankenstein monster. Am I disappointed? Yes. Am I simultaneously relieved? Maybe.

I think it's funny that this is probably called the "Dual Rectifier Electrapack Senior" but the way it is set up it looks like "Senior" is it's own speed. 

Which, if you think about it, is true.

Monday, April 3, 2017

Swimming

The water doesn't know how old you are.
~ Dara Torres
- - - - -

I like this photo. Aurora loves the water - she has since she was little. This photo shows that.

I also like how David is creeping and lurking in the background. I think it is symbolic of how he is as a father - protective, watching. 

It also represents how Leslie is as a grandma. Thumbs up. Because her thumb is the only thing you can see. 

Also if the caption to this was, "The stranger loitered near the baby" it makes the photo feel completely different.

Also it's a watercolor photo.

Also...  Nope. That's enough.

Sunday, April 2, 2017

Speed

The speed of communications is wondrous to behold. It is also true that speed can multiply the distribution of information that we know to be untrue.
~ Edward R. Murrow
- - - - -

Edward R. Murrow was born in 1908 and died in 1965. I'm not sure exactly when he said the above quote, but he could have said it today. Well, he couldn't because he is dead, but I mean the comment is still relevant today. 

Sometimes I get frustrated at how things are right now. There are issues with the media and with whether facts are true and whether I can say something but expect you not to believe or worry about it because it isn't what I mean. And by "I" I don't mean just me. I mean everyone. I don't mean everyone. I just mean the the people who say something and then say, "I didn't say that" and then see video of them saying that and say, "You know that isn't what I meant."

I mean those people. 


Saturday, April 1, 2017

Humor

The face of a child can say it all. 
Especially the mouth part of the face.
~ Mark Twain
- - - - -

I think it is essential to have a sense of humor to get through things. I mean, maybe someone can do it without humor, but not around me. 

I don't know when you start to develop a sense of humor or if it is something you are born with. I think it starts around the age of two. Maybe it starts earlier than that, but until babies have words their jokes are sort of rambly.

This is what I remember as Aurora's first joke. It was a good one.

Aurora: No. No. No. No.

Me: Can you say anything else?

Aurora: Anything else.

Smart aleck.

I really like that kid.