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Friday, September 29, 2017

Fireplace

My passions have never jumped out of the fireplace and set fire to the carpet.
~ Mason Cooley
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Fireplace.

So why isn't a sink or tub a "waterplace?" 
Why isn't a closet a "clothes place?" 
Why isn't a refrigerator a "foodplace?" 
Why isn't a bank going to give me a bunch of free money?

Thursday, September 28, 2017

Barn

Having been let out of the barn once, I know I wouldn't be happy if I were at home all the time.
~ Meryl Streep
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I love to drive around and take pictures.  I like to take pictures of barns.  You'd think that would be a relatively risk-free endeavor.  You can usually get a good picture of a barn just by pulling slightly off the road and taking the photo without even getting out of your car.

Well, sometimes there is more to it than that...  Like the time I pulled off and took a picture of a barn. Then as I was driving (in the middle of no where) I was being pursued.  It took me a while to know for sure that I was being followed, but when I realized that was the case, I pulled over next to a house where a guy was out mowing his yard.

The van behind me pulled up and the man and woman said, "You gonna go back and get the kittens you dumped in that barn?!"

After a brief discussion, I convinced them I was not a cat-dumper type of person.  Well, I don't know if I convinced them or not, but we concluded our dialogue.

Now, as if that wasn't strange enough, the next week I shared this story in class.  Afterward I got a message from one of the people in class that a friend of hers had a cat and kittens stolen.  She wondered if I could share where the barn was in case it was the same cat and kittens.  I shared and she said it was probably too far from where her friend had lived to be the same cat and kittens.

I could write something about curiosity and cats, but that would be cliche.

Instead, I'll share that those people who chased me around on those dirt roads freaked me out. 

I should have taken a picture of them... though I suspect that would not have deescalated the situation.

Wednesday, September 27, 2017

Mailboxes

My favorite review described me as the cinematic equivalent of junk mail. I don't know what that means, but it sounds like a dig.
~ Steve Buscemi
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You might think that the dramatic increase in the number of mailbox doors that are stolen is because people aren't reporting the damage. You'd be wrong. They ARE reporting the damage, unfortunately they are doing it by sending letters and without doors on their mailboxes the letters all blow away.

Tuesday, September 26, 2017

Ready

The world is always ready to receive talent with open arms. Very often it does not know what to do with genius.
~ Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr.
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I saw this in South Carolina last fall. I love seeing things like this. I have never seen anything like this before, so I guess I just loved seeing this thing.

I don't think they were roadside casket-sellers, but they may have been. I wasn't ready to go up and ask for more information.

Monday, September 25, 2017

Sitting

If I had a free afternoon I would, play music, 
sit in my backyard, and drink coffee.
~ Aja Naomi King
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Is there any such thing as a "free" afternoon? I'm not sure. Ultimately, everything comes with a cost. Especially receipts.


Sunday, September 24, 2017

Ribs

Expect problems and eat them for breakfast.
~ Alfred A Montapert
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I think "breakfast ribs" is a good idea. Who wouldn't jump out of bed in the morning if they knew they were getting ribs for breakfast?

Maybe vegans. But vegans are full of contradictions. Like carrot cake. Carrot cake isn't vegan. You probably could make it vegan somehow...  but then it wouldn't be very good carrot cake. That is, if you believe in such a things as "very good carrot cake."

I do believe in that. I also believe the "breakfast ribs" is a good idea.

Saturday, September 23, 2017

Family

Family love is messy, clinging, and of an annoying and repetitive pattern, like bad wallpaper.
~ Friedrich Nietzsche
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So I spent a day working the garage. I cleaned and organized the garage. I stained some furniture. I liked it. Well, other than my allergies. I didn't like that.

It reminded me of my dad and how he used to say, "Why don't you go clean out the garage?" And how we didn't have a garage.

Sunday, September 17, 2017

Fancy

I'm not fancy. I'm what I appear to be.
~ Janet Reno
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I think that this guy serving the Past and the sandwich is fancy. In fact, the sandwich itself is kind of fancy. I hope that this guy is serving himself the fancy sandwich and the Pabst. I hope he works as a plumber or a lumberjack and he comes home at night and gets cleaned up and dressed up and serves himself a fancy sandwich and a Pabst beer.

I'd like to know what that guy's dreams are. I bet they are pretty noteworthy.

Saturday, September 16, 2017

Frank

It is important to our friends to believe that we are unreservedly frank with them, and important to friendship that we are not.
~ Mignon McLaughlin
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I mostly like frank humans. But if you see someone being frank and drinking out of a huge beer holder, they are NOT a frank human. They are a frank and stein human.

Also, I mostly don't need you to be a frank human with me in terms of what you think about this post.

Tuesday, September 12, 2017

Radio

In radio you have two tools: sound and silence.
~ Ira Glass
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Unless it's a clock radio. Then you also have the tool of time. 

Monday, September 11, 2017

Entrance

Look on every exit as being an entrance to somewhere else.
~ Tom Stoppard
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This sign outrages me.
I don't think the place should ban just bullies from America. We need to say no to bullies from everywhere. I'm anti-bullying on a global level.

Sunday, September 10, 2017

Scary

Nothing scares me more than people with some doll collection.
~ Karl Lagerfeld
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Really, Karl?!  REALLY??

I don't believe that for a second. While I don't enjoy dolls, and I wonder about people who collect them, there are lots of things more scary than that.

I think maybe Karl Lagerfeld is a liar.

Also... Happy birthday, Karl Lagerfeld.

Saturday, September 9, 2017

Sarcastic

It's hard to find any good quotes about being sarcastic.
~ Michelle Boettcher
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You know, you can't spell "sarcastic" without "care." Well, you can if you want to spell sarcastic right, but what's the fun in that.

Maybe I should say, "You know, you can't spell 'sarcastic' without 'scar.'"

Yep. That's about right.

Tuesday, September 5, 2017

Mom

Perhaps it takes courage to raise children.
~ John Steinbeck
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My mom is a good sport. She has to be with her children. I would say it takes a lot of patience, but ye reap what ye sow, Mom. Ye sowed us. And forced us to use the pronoun "ye."

But in addition to sarcasm and practical jokes, we also do nice things for her. Like when we helped with her iPad. She was pretty grateful. I know that is true because I heard her tell someone on the phone, "They put candy something on my iPad." If that's not gratitude, I don't know what is.

It's possible I don't know exactly what gratitude is.