Smile

People would rather laugh at me than believe me.

~ Deborah Vance

- - - - -

I used to work with someone who would tell everyone to smile or would say, "Are we smiling?" 

We weren't.

Leaving

And now, gentlemen, like your manners, I must leave you.

~ Dylan Thomas

- - - - -

Sometimes leaving things behind make moving ahead easier. Sometimes leaving things behind makes moving ahead harder.

Like car keys. It's hard to leave without your keys. 

Unless you're walking. But then you'll have to eventually go back and get your car and then you haven't really left it behind, have you?

The moral of the story is, remember your car keys.

 

Certain

(photo by Leslie Lewis)

Certainty is the great enemy of unity. 

Certainty is the deadly enemy of tolerance.

~ Robert Harris

- - - - -

Are you sure, Robert Harris?

Cars

(photo by Kirk Boettcher)

A toy car is a projection of a real car, made small enough for a child's hand and imagination to grasp. A real car is a projection of a toy car, made large enough for an adult's hand and imagination to grasp.

~ Michael Frayn

- - - - -

I don't think children should be allowed to drive. Especially if they are too young to read road signs. 

Quiet

In order to see birds it is necessary to become a part of the silence. 

~ Robert Lynd

- - - - -

It would be funny if you saw this and the squirrel was saying, "Wheeeee!!" and laughing.

(pause)

The squirrel wasn't saying anything.

(pause)

And probably didn't think this was too funny.

Lock

The world was full of locked doors, and he had to get his hand on every key.

~ Orson Scott Card

- - - - -

Leslie: Did you lock both the doors?

Me: (pause) I think so. I definitely just locked the back door.

Leslie: Well, if you locked the front door, you would have done that right before you locked the back door, right?

Me: Yes. (pause) I just don't remember if I locked the front door. I did a lot of thinking between the front door and the back door.

 

Experiences

I was an adventurer but she was not an adventuress. She was a 'wanderess.' Thus she didn't care about money, only experiences - whether they came from wealth or from poverty, it was all the same to her.

~ Roman Payne

- - - - -

I do believe that often bad experiences make for wonderful stories. Like the time my house got picked up in a tornado and my dog and I were taken to a strange and faraway land. 

(pause)

I should write that down sometime.

Time

Time is a created thing. To say, "I don't have time" 

is like saying, "I don't want to."

~ Lao Tzu

- - - - -

When we were visiting PA last December, Ezra kept singing "Time... Time... Time..." I finally figured out he was singing the opening lines to A Hazy Shade of Winter. I was impressed that he knew that song. Then he said it was from Stranger Things. 

Stranger things indeed, Ezra. Stranger things indeed.

 

Porch

My favorite thing to do is just to sit outside on the stoop and talk with all my neighbors. I can go out with curlers in my hair, and nobody blinks twice. It's just sad when people want to take a picture!

~ Margo Martindale

- - - - -

I like to sit on a stoop and watch people. Well, I like it until someone comes outside and says, "I've told your three times to get off my stoop. If you come back again, I'm calling the police!"

Shadow

We must live, I'm afraid, with the shadows of imperfections.

~ Salman Rushdie

- - - - -

Is it harder to live with you own imperfections or those of others? 

(pause)

For you? Your own. For me? Also yours.

Adventure

Happiness is being in the midst of an adventure, when past and future are irrelevant and there is only now.

~ Frank Wolf

- - - - -

So, Leslie worries a lot - seemingly all the time. It's like if she isn't worried she thinks, "What should I be worrying about?" and then worries about whatever comes to mind. I probably worry too little or I maybe don't worry about the right things. Anyway, I often benefit from her overthinking because she reminds to do things that I should do.

Leslie also has hiking and kayaking adventures a lot. When I found the quote above to go with this photo, I realized that maybe she goes on adventures as a way of being in the moment. Well, unless Lily is with her. Then she's probably worried about what Lily has in her mouth.

Cat

If cats looked like frogs we'd realize what nasty, cruel little bastards they are. Style. That's what people remember.

~ Terry Pratchett

- - - - -

I was recently cleaning and organizing my email and I came across a message from Leslie labeled "cat fight sound effect." There was a link, and if you check it out, you will find out that is exactly what it is.

There was no text. There was no message. There was no response. 

I do not know why that email happened. 

(pause)

Also, it is around 6 a.m. as I am writing this and when I clicked on the link the cat fight sound effect went off. It was quite loud.

(pause)

I think it's probably pretty interesting to live with me.

 

Pittsburgh

Pittsburgh entered the core of my heart when I was a boy and cannot be torn out.

~ Andrew Carnegie

- - - - -

Me: (upon arriving in Pittsburgh) Dang it! We missed Picklesburgh!!

Leslie: OH MY GOD. You have NO IDEA what Picklesburgh is like! You know how much I LOVE pickles, and if I'm going to avoid it, you know it's a nightmare!

This is very similar to what my dad used to say to me when I said I wanted to go somewhere. He'd always say, "I've been there. You wouldn't like it."

People, I MIGHT like it. 

(pause)

Probably not if it's really crowded, though.

Fear

Where your fear is, there is your task.

~ Carl Jung

- - - - -

I think this quote is why I'm so scared of work. 

 

Death

Dying was unpleasant, but death? It's wonderful.

~ Patrick Ryan

- - - - -

If there was such a thing as plant ghosts, I wonder if that would really disrupt a person's life. I mean, plants aren't that active when they are alive. They're slow to move, for instance.

Though the guilt of killing a plant might get to you after a while. Probably. 

 

Dogs

It's nought good a sleeping hound to wake.

~ Geoffrey Chaucer

- - - - -

Dogs do not have a saying "It's not good a sleeping person to wake." 

 

Change

Lily pads are at their most beautiful when they're changing. You get these red-violets, blue-violets, yellow-greens. There's all these colors lily pads go through as they age. There's a beauty to growing old.

~ Scott Zupanc

- - - - -

As you age, your change - which can be beautiful. But also, along the way, you need to check in and take care of yourself. For example, if you don't go to the doctor for a long time and then you have to go in because of an emergency and then you get better, it will take a long time to get completely better. But the healthier change is worth it. You should go to the doctor.

Especially if you start to turn red-violet, blue-violet, or yellow-green.

Mistakes

There's a sort of performative cruelty in terms of people making mistakes or having said the wrong thing.

~ Nadia Bolz-Weber

- - - - -

I read one time about predatory listeners. They are people who listen hoping someone will make a mistake or say the wrong thing so that they (the listener) can castigate the speaker. 

I don't think it's nice to castigate people for making a mistake. That said, it is probably better than castrating them which I what I mistakenly typed when I was writing this blog. 

(pause)

Anyway, be nice. 

 

Clouds

Where there is shouting, there is no true knowledge.

~ Leonardo da Vinci

- - - - -

I did a search of my blog drafts. I was looking for an image that represented "loud." I found none. I found a lot, however, that represented "cloud." I am sure that says something about me. I am not sure exactly what it says about me, other than that something awesome, I'm sure.

Birthdays

(Photo by Richard Boettcher)

Reading a book is the most dangerous thing you can do on a bicycle.

~ Carolyn Watson Dubisch

- - - - -

Today is my birthday. This was me on, I think, my sixth birthday getting my bike. It was a good bike. Somehow I feel like the basket didn't last long on that bike, though. I was more interested in speed (thus aerodynamics) than in hauling things around. Also, I think I wore shoes most of the time when I rode it.

No helmet, though. Not back in the day. 

(pause)

Which might explain a few things. 
 

Icecream

I never dreamed the ice cream machine would become a hot topic.

~ Alex Guarnaschelli

- - - - -

I watch a lot of cooking shows and it makes me sad when someone can't use the ice cream machine because someone else has their ice cream in it. Those shows could afford more than one ice cream maker, but maybe part of the point is to be quick about it. 

And, if you think about it, the saying is NOT "I scream, you scream, we all scream for another ice cream machine." 

(pause)

Though that might be good for some cooking show's merchandise on a t-shirt or sticker or something. 

History

History doesn't repeat itself but it often rhymes.

~ Maybe Mark Twain?

- - - - -

Today is a pretty important date in history, but then so is the day after tomorrow.
 

Television

Television and film are our libraries now. Our history books.

~ David Strathairn

- - - - -

A few months ago, when watching the Ken Burns series on the American Revolution, Leslie and I found ourselves choosing our favorite historians in the series. As a former history major I was surprised that I hadn't chosen some favorite historians before that.

And yes, I did also go to Rate My Professor to look them up.

Goggles

There's someone out there for everyone - even if you need a pickaxe, a compass, and night goggles to find them.

~ Steve Martin

- - - - -

I wonder what you see if you wear night goggles during the day. I know what the rest of us see. We see you being an idiot.

 

Tattoos

Tattoos are like stories - they're symbolic of the important moments in your life. Sitting down, talking about where you got each tattoo and what it symbolizes, is really beautiful.

~ Pamela Anderson

- - - - -

Sorry that last shot of the tattoo is blurry. The snake was moving.

Mail

Owney was a scruffy mutt who became a regular fixture at the Albany, New York post office in 1888. his owner was likely a postal clerk who let the dog walk him to work. Owney was attracted to the texture or sceent of the mailbags and when his master moved away, Owney stayed with his new mail clerk friends. he soon began to follow mailbags, first onto mail wagons and then mail trains. Owney began to ride with the bags on Railway Mail Service (RMS) trains across the state.... and then the country! TheRailway Mail Service clerks adopted Owney as their unofficial mascot.

~ The Smithsonian National Postal Museum

- - - - -

I don't think we have to worry about Lily running off to join the Railway Mail Service. Why, you ask? Really? You don't think she loves us and wants to stay here? Well she DOES. 

(pause)

Also, the Railway Mail Service ended in 1977.

Grand

My grandmother was a very tough woman. She buried three husbands, and two of them were just napping.

~ Rita Rudner

- - - - -

I think not all grandparents are all that grand. Maybe for those who are not grand, we could just call them "oldparents" or "crotchetyparents." And also you don't have to buy them cards on grandparents' day. 

(pause)

Despite the photos, this is not a post about Leslie. It's about different grandparents. 

Probably.

Menu

A hungry dog believes in nothing but meat.

~ Anton Chekov

- - - - -

Lily believes in meat, but she also believes in bread and french fries.

(pause)

She believes in happy meals, I guess.

(pause)

And, actually, most any meal makes her happy. 

Replacements

AI will not replace humans, but those who use AI will replace those who don't.

~ Ginny Rometti

- - - - -

I'm not saying AI created this sticker. 

because I don't want the robots to hear me criticizing them.
 

Stop

Stop watering dead plants.

~ Wesley Snipes

- - - - -

I'm not sure they teach kids "Stop, Drop, and Roll" in schools anymore. I suspect it is because they don't make children's clothing out of flammable material as much anymore. 

 

Posing

To be natural is such a very difficult pose to keep up.

~ Oscar Wilde

- - - - -

I appreciate it when people let me take their photo. I know it can be annoying to sit still and smile. I think it is nice to capture moments when people are together by interrupting their time together to make them sit down, keep still, be quiet, pose and get their picture made.

Wind

Make the wind your friend.

~ Jimmy Lane

- - - - -

You can't just force the wind to be your friend. You have to woo it a bit so that it likes you. Bullying the wind into friendship is like bullying a person into friendship. 

If the person is invisible.

Famous

I'm not an actor because I want my picture taken. I'm an actor because I want to be part oft he human exchange.

~ Frances McDormand

- - - - -

The origin of fame meant both to be of positive renown and ill-repute. The Roman goddess Fama and the Greek goddess Pheme personified fame and gossip whereas the Green goddess is a salad dressing. 

Supplies

Error sometimes supplies the surprises that makes life interesting.

~ Aimee Liu

- - - - -

Sometimes when you get things right, that supplies a surprise, too.

God

Miracles occur all around us, signs from God show us the way, angels plead to be heard, but we pay little attention to them.

~ Paul Coelho

- - - - -

I think it is really interesting when people say they know what God thinks, and then they feel compelled to tell other people what God thinks. Sometimes those same people - when someone says, "I know you think that..." - those same people will interrupt the person and say, "Don't tell ME what I think!" 

(pause)

I bet God does that a lot. 

(pause)

I bet he does that face palm thing a lot, too. 

Town

In his face there came to be a brooding peace that is seen most often in the faces of the very sorrowful or the very wise. But still he wandered through the streets of the town, always silent and alone.

~ Carson McCullers

- - - - - 

If you don't have a part of town that looks like this where you grew up, then you probably didn't grow up in a town. You grew up in a city. Or the country. Or a burg. Or a burrow.

Actually if you grew up in a burrow, you probably aren't reading this blog because you're a prairie dog. Or a vole. Or a puffin. 

Journal

Journaling is like whispering to oneself and listening at the same time.

~ Bram Stoker

- - - - -

In olden times when you whispered to yourself, people would think something was wrong with you. Now people think you're on the phone. 

(pause)

There is still definitely something wrong with you, though.

Arches

All experience is an arch, to build upon.

~ Henry Adams

- - - - -

If you are someone who designs arches and are one of the top two arch designers in the world, I bet that other top arch builder is your arch nemesis.

(pause)

Also, I hope your name is Archie because that would be perfect.

Stop

A failure is not always a mistake, it may simply be the best one can do under the circumstances. The real mistake is to stop trying. 

~ B. F. Skinner

- - - - - 

If you succeed at everything you do, you probably aren't trying enough things. I read one time that you either succeed or you learn. So when you succeed you don't learn anything. Except that you are better than all those people who failed.

 

Colors

It's not easy being green.

~ Kermit the Frog

- - - - -

You know what REALLY isn't easy? Being fuchsia or tangerine. Especially as a frog. It's called natural selection, Kermit. Pick up a book sometime.

Fireplace

Peace, a fireplace, books, silence... Before this was seen as one philistinism. Now these are dreams of a lost paradise.

~ Erich Maria Remarque

- - - - -

You forgot dogs, Erich. Never forget dogs. 

History

You know in high school, if you didn't believe in science or history, it was just called failing.

~ Michelle Wolf

- - - - -

This sign doesn't seem like something you should be able to buy in an antique store.

Riding

It is the unknown around the corner that turns my wheels.

~ Heinz Stucke

- - - - -

One time I dreamt that I lived back in Ames, but for some reason decided to go to Huxley. Instead of driving, I rode an adult-sized Big Wheel to get there. I got to a house and there were two little girls playing in the yard. I talked to them. They loved my Big Wheel. Then the mom came out, and I realized I had met this family before. We chatted and then I pedaled off.

In that same dream I had lunch (without the Big Wheel) with a large group of people in a very crowded cafeteria of some sort. I was at work and ended up sitting at a table with two new students in my program. I wondered why all of my colleagues sat with each other leaving the students to sit with me (and someone else - I don't remember who) at the last table. I thought that wasn't very friendly of my colleagues (whom I don't know in real life, but they were co-workers in my dream, you know how that is sometimes). Anyway, I chatted with the students and they really got excited about some of the things I shared about the program. I realized it was for the best that I got to sit with them.

I share all of this to make two points. One, no one's dreams are really interesting to anyone else. Two, I'm way more social in my dreams than in real life.

Mediocrity

External signs of wealth and success are often cheap storefronts that hide internal mediocrity or even incompetence.

~ Real Live Preacher - Gordon Atkinson

- - - - -

I have found that mediocrity tends to be loud to drown out critique. Excellence is quiet. In both cases the work speaks for itself. You don't have to tell me what you've done. I can see it.

I can also see what you haven't done. Like that list of things I left you to do. You are so mediocrity.

Window

They own the window,

You own the view.

~ Vaneet Raj Kapoor

- - - - -

You might think that it is odd that when you are outside you are always trying to look in and when you are inside you are always trying to look out. You might think about the symbolism of windows in our lives. I think that is great and all except if you are thinking about it while sitting in the car in front of me and you are stopped at a green light.