Grief

There is no grief like the grief that does not speak.

~ Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

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I was listening to a show about grief. There was a researcher named "George Banana" who talked about his own experience and his scholarship. I thought, "It must be a challenge to talk about grief with a name like 'George Banana' who sounds like a standup comedian, a children's birthday party performer, or a boyfriend for Jan Brady."

I found out later that his name is actually, "George Bonanno." That is probably better.

I miss George Banana, though.

Gratitude

I always believed that the elders in my family are the reason for my success.

~ R. Madhavan

- - - - -

We should definitely thank our elders when we find success. We literally would not be here without them. And when we do thank them, we should yell loudly because they might not hear us otherwise.

 

Photos

Photograph the world as it is. Nothing's more interesting than reality.

~ May Ellen Mark

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This is one of my favorite childhood photos. Seated from left to right are Andrea, me, Old Cowboy Statue Thing, Duane, and Erik. I do not know who that child with the ice cream cone is. I like to think that somewhere, that child's parents have this same photo maybe from a slightly different angle.

(pause)

I know they probably don't have this photo. I just like to think that they do.

Barns

Barns act as a bridge between the present and the past.

~ Eddie Daggett

- - - - -

Another thing that bridges things for us is a bridge. 

 

Helper

I get by with a little help from my friends.

~ John Lennon

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Lily likes to help with things. However, since she didn't know a three letter name of a New Zealand parrot that can solve logic puzzles, she wasn't able to help me with the crossword.

 

Happiness

Derive happiness in oneself from a good day's work, from illuminating the fog that surrounds us.

~ Henri Matisse

- - - - -

If you're happy and you know it, keep quiet because some people are trying to sleep around here.

Shoes

Give a girl the right shoes and she can conquer the world.

~ Marilyn Monroe

- - - - -

I threw Aurora's Croc under the picnic table when we ran outside for the head-to-head battle. Ezra took off one of his Crocs so that he and Aurora would appear as a solid front in their roles as teammates in the battle. Good thing he did or it would have been difficult to tell who was on whose team.

Communication

People may hear your words but they feel your attitude.

~ John C. Maxwell

- - - - -

This note is a cute little exchange Leslie and I had a while back. Our schedules don't always align, so sometimes we have to leave one another notes. 

Communication is fun.

Snow

A snow day literally and figuratively falls from the sky, unbidden, and seems like a thing of wonder.

~ Susan Orlean

- - - - -

There is little more exciting than a snow day. To have your plans disrupted in a way that obliges us to stare out the window in wonder, what a gift. 

(pause)

Of course, you might not like this gift for 29 days in a row any more than you'd like getting the same book as a gift 29 times, but that isn't my point.

Gates

Still round the corner there may wait, 

A new road or a secret gate.

~ J. R. R. Tolkein

- - - - -

It probably is too late when you are standing at the gate. Unless you're a gate inspector.

 

Needs

Don't forget: beautiful sunsets need cloudy skies.

~ Paul Coelho

- - - - -

I want you to take a moment and think about what you need. What are you sacrificing to social pressure or negative self-talk or by putting others needs and wants before your own needs? 

Don't tell me about it. I don't have time to help you with that. Just think about it.

Clouds

The clouds - the only birds that never sleep.

~ Victor Hugo

- - - - -

The clouds are also the only birds that never poop on your windshield. Although maybe emus don't do that very much either. Or apteryxes. 

Happy

I'm delighted with how my career unfolded.

~ Margo Martindale

- - - - -

I don't know if we are supposed to be pursuing happiness in life or peace or enlightenment or what. I don't know if we are all here to pursue the same things to begin with.

I do know that an awful lot of us are looking for a really good pork tenderloin sandwich, though. At least that's what it seems like.

 

People

Judge a man by his questions rather than his answers.

~ Voltaire

- - - - -

I hate the Q & A section of lectures. If you talk for more than a minute, you aren't trying to ask a question, you are trying to get attention and grandstand. I didn't come to listen to you talk, Bernard. 

Games

There are more important things in life than winning or losing a game.

~ Lionel Messi

- - - - -

Games are fun, but sometimes the thing that is more important than winning or losing is letting GoGo get to bed. She's tired.

Tiger

A tiger does not shout its tigritude, it acts.

~ Wole Soyinka

- - - - -

When you say something it doesn't mean you have done anything. When you do something, however, it says a lot. Especially if the thing you do is to throw pickled herring at the person who is saying something and doing nothing. 

Incidentally, the robots say "There is no universally recognized Pickled Herring Day" in 2025. 

The robots also say, "No. Tigers do not eat pickled herring."
 

Happiness

Being happy is a revolutionary act; I think it spreads, like ripples in a pond.

~ Orson Bean

- - - - -

Are dogs the happiest beings on earth? Do they pursue joy and bring love to those around them? Are they really trying to show us the way to living a good and full life?

I don't know. Why do you ask me these things?

Shadow

Some people seemed to get all the sunshine, and some all the shadow...

~ Louisa May Alcott

- - - - -

It's not great to get all the sunshine or all the shadow. It's great to get some of each. Unless you're a fern. Fern would also be a good name for a character in a book who is in the shadows while her sister gets all the sunshine and attention and love. And then at the end of the novel you find out that Fern wasn't the other woman's sister at all. Fern was just a plant.

In case I write that novel, I should probably share that this post contains spoilers.

Pupil

Poor is the pupil who does not surpass his master.

~ Leonardo da Vinci

- - - - -

The pupil who decided to make balloons out of rubber (Michael Faraday) instead of animal bladders... Well, thank you from a lot of parents and birthday planners, Professor Faraday.

Marketing

Drinking on trains, whether it's a can of beer on a short commute or a more elaborate set up for a longer journey, often evokes a sense of freedom and relaxation. It's a way to mark the transition between locations, and to savor the journey itself. The act of drinking on a train can be seen as a small rebellion against the rules of everyday life, especially in places where drinking on public transport is restricted.

~ A.I.

- - - - -

I love that these were marketed side by side. It is as if the company thought, "Well, if someone needs one of these, they are bound to need the other!"

Quiet

Modern luxury is the ability to think clearly, sleep deeply, move slowly, and live quietly in a world designed to prevent all four.

~ Justin Welsh

- - - - -

I was in a doctor's office not that long ago. I was able to get my mind to a place where it was quiet. I was able to reflect on things that I didn't expect to be able to reflect on in that space. 

Then the doctor came in and told me to get out of her office. 

 

Camping

What on earth would I do if four bears came into my camp? Why, I would die, of course. Literally shit myself lifeless.

~ Bill Bryson

- - - - -

First, I would never camp at a place called "Doll Mountain Campground." Second, "Doll Mountain Campground" would make an excellent title for a horror film. 

Young

Thanks to television, for the first time the young are seeing history made before it is censored by their elders.

~ Margaret Mead

- - - - -

The young are not watching that kind of thing on TV, Margaret. Although they may be watching South Park, so I stand corrected.

Who am I kidding?

I don't stand when I type.

 

Sleep

A well-spent day brings happy sleep, so a life well spent brings happy death.

~ Leonardo da Vinci

- - - - -

Life surprises you sometimes. For example, a few summers ago, I was surprised by a number of things at Camp GoGo. One particularly memorable example is how I was amazed I could sleep through the clothing optional Barbie pool party that took place.

Eyes

Tears come from the heart and not from the brain.

~ Leonardo da Vinci

- - - - -

I know that Leonardo da Vinci was supposed to be pretty smart, but I know for a fact that tears come from the eyes.

Happy

We either make ourselves happy or miserable. The amount of work is the same.

~ Carlos Castaneda

- - - - -

Sometimes I think people expect happiness to just happen to them. Or they look at others and think that the others - who appear happy - are luckier than they are. I would suggest that maybe those others have worked harder at being happy. Maybe they have made it a priority. 

Of course I wouldn't say that to those unhappy people because they are such a bummer I'd rather not be around them.

Fun

In order to have fun, I have to be able to not be buttoned down.

~ Margo Martindale

- - - - -

If you want to have fun, spend time with kids. Especially little kids. You can beat them at almost any game. Seriously. Try playing Monopoly with a three-year-old. You will win. Winning is fun.

 

Television

I love television because it's the most alive, because you don't know how it's going to end. It's a living thing. Sometimes the writers are watching you to see how things will unfold. Sometimes the writers have written it, and you come to it, and they have to change their way of going because of what you've done.

~ Margo Martindale

- - - - -

I have watched a lot of television in my life. At this point, I realize that television is watching a lot of my life, too.

It's my own fault. I invited these robots in. 

(pause)

I hope they find me interesting.

 

Like

If people don't like you, it's okay. You only need to be concerned if dogs don't like you. Then it's time for some self-reflection.

~ Tiny Buddha

- - - - -

I like most dogs. Most dogs like me. 

(pause)

So, I've got that going for me.

Performance

I've always learned in show business, you take the job.

~ Margo Martindale

- - - - -

I know a lot of things. Some are useful. Some are true. That said, I have no idea how you tell if someone is good at rhythmic gymnastics or not. 

Mysteries are good.

Mail

I've always felt there is something sacred in a piece of paper that travels the earth from hand to hand, head to head, heart to heart.

~ Robert Michael Pyle

- - - - -

Leslie (bringing in the mail): Here's something for your dad, something for your mom, and something for Kirk. Everything else is mine.

Judgy Judgerson

Dogs are highly sensitive to human behavior, and they evaluate us using both their direct experiences and from a third-party perspective. Dogs pay attention to various aspects of our actions and make judgments about, for example, social vs. selfish acts.

~ Chijilwa et al., 2022

- - - - -

Sometimes I accidentally record myself as a voice message. Apparently, one time I recorded myself telling Lily to take my t-shirt to the laundry room (which she enjoys doing). However, she sometimes will get it ALMOST to the laundry room and then start to play with it. On the day in question when recording myself (captured below) I decided to call her a knucklehead for doing that. 

I judge her, but she judges me, too. I mean, just look at the photo of her above.

I love that dog.

 

Flower

They found nothing wrong with the rose, so they complained it had a thorn.

~African Proverb

- - - - -

They thought the blog should have had an image of a rose instead of a lily because they were complainers.

 

Friends

The Stoics thought that friends - real friends - are so-called "friends of virtue" - the kind of friends that are okay telling you that you are doing something wrong if they do think you are doing something wrong. And you you don't need a lot of them, but it's important to have at least one. To have that kind of person that you can go and have a drink with and say, "I've got this issue. What do you think?" 

~ Massimo Pigliucci

- - - - -

It is good to have good friends. It is also good to see the good friendship of others in action. It can be easy to stay at home and think the worst of people. But that's only fun for so long. And it's only healthy for not at all.

Knife

Iron sharpens iron. 

You can't be sharp hanging around butter knife people.

~ Prairie Girl

- - - - -

You maybe can't be sharp hanging around wooden pocket knife people, either. However, how cool is a pocket knife carved out of wood? Let me tell you... kind of cool.

Places

Old God sure was in a good mood when he made this place. 

~ Hunter S. Thompson

- - - - -

There is something to appreciate about every place that exists. It could be the weather or the geography or the sunrise or the smell of the trees or the sound of the birds. Sometimes you appreciate the memories. Sometimes you appreciate the people. Sometimes you appreciate that you aren't at that place anymore.

Begin

If a thing is worth doing, it is worth doing badly.

~ G. K. Chesterton

- - - - -

Doing things badly is underrated - whether it is writing, art, raising children, or starting new years. Do the best you can and if you do a bad job, do a better job next time. Fail first. You can do it. If you expect to fail and you do - you have met your own expectations.

Happy New Year.

Sunset

My New Year's resolution was to stop saying, "You go girl!" to myself.

~ Zach Galifianakis

- - - - -

Today is a day for reflection and anticipation. We can appreciate what went well and look forward to future joy. We can learn from mistakes and embrace mistakes as learning for the days ahead. 

Or not. I'm not the boss of you.

Attention

A place is only as good as the people in it. 

~ Pittacus Lore

- - - - -

When you go to a new place with children, you can see things you might otherwise miss. The world through the eyes of a child is so different. It's mainly because children tend to be short and their eye-level is lower.

Kool-Aid

Jim Jones used Flavor-Aid not Kool-Aid.

~ Bruce Weinstein

- - - - -

I have had this mug for as long as I can remember. When I was a kid we had a set of these and maybe a Kool-Aid pitcher to go with the mugs. 

Childhood is full of memories about things. Of course those memories are often ours alone. Is that why there is both a "me" and and "I" in memories? No. There is both a "me" and an "I" in memories because of spelling.

Looking

In a world as myriad as ours, the gaze is a singular act; to look at something is to fill your whole life with it, if only briefly.

~ Ocean Vuong

- - - - -

This is a good time of year to look ahead. And if the way seems cloudy or unclear, maybe this is a good time of year for you to clean your windows.

Not

Not everything has to have a silver lining.

~ Kirk Boettcher

- - - - -

So, I'm writing this on my brother's birthday in 2024. He said this to me a couple of weeks ago. I was on a drive and pulled over into a cemetery to talk when he called me. It was a logical place to stop since there isn't a lot of traffic in cemeteries, and we were talking about death and impending death.

2024 was a really tough year for a lot of reasons, but I'll share one theme of the year - the death of mothers. Leslie, Kirk & I, Leslie's brother-in-law, and my brother-in-law all lost our moms in 2024. 

I'm scheduling this post for a year from today: Kirk's birthday in 2025. And here is what I predict, 2025 will be easier. It will be difficult in different ways, but it won't be as hard as this year has been. I also predict none of us will lose our moms in 2025.

Christmas

Christmas Day is the first day. The Twelve Days are 25 December to 5 January, counting first and last.

~ Wikipedia

- - - - -

So, not only is my brother's birthday close to Christmas (which he didn't necessarily love as a child), it is actually the third day of Christmas. I may have to send him three French hens for all of his birthdays now that I know this. Because I'm like that.

 

Christmas

Merry Christmas to all,

And to all a good night.

~ Clement Clark Moore

- - - - -

Lily doesn't get too wrapped up in gifts at Christmas. She focuses on the joy of being around people she loves. She likes it when we are at home more. It usually means more snacks for her - intentional and accidental.

Santa

A good many things go around in the dark besides Santa Claus.

~ Herbert Hoover

- - - - -

A good many things, but maybe not many good things.

 

Lights

I've learned you can tell a lot about a person by the way they handle these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights.

~ Maya Angelou

- - - - -

I like to take Leslie's luggage, tangle Christmas lights around it and leave it outside in the rain.

(pause)

She doesn't really handle it very well when I do that, though.