Papa

It is a wise father than knows his own child.

~ William Shakespeare

- - - - -

When I was visiting Maine, it was Zak's first day of school. He didn't hesitate to go. He was excited and glad he got to play with the toys at school. I think he liked the teachers and friends, but he was so focused on DOING when I saw him that he didn't spend much time interacting with anyone.

When we went to pick him up, he ran up to Kirk and said,  "Papa, I missed you SO MUCH!" It was one of the sweetest things I've ever seen / heard.

By the time we were home and he hadn't gotten to listen to "Get Down" from the musical "Six" more than once or twice, I think he realized that maybe he didn't miss Papa as much as he first thought.

It's hard being a kid - even when you have a pretty awesome Papa.

Cleaning

You don't get anything clean without getting something else dirty.

~ Cecil Baxter

- - - - -

This is Zak's birthday week, so I'm going to use photos of him in my blog all this week. Some I've posted recently in other venues, but this is my blog, so I can do whatever I want. You're not the boss of me.

Also, I hope no one is the boss of Zak this week and he gets to do whatever he wants. I also hope there is someone available to clean up after him if that is indeed the plan for the week. Zak is not always tidy. Like when I visited and we had to pick up the groceries in the basement before we could play with something else.

You might think I'm talking about toy groceries to go with Zak's little play kitchen. I am not. We were in the basement and his parents came home from the store, threw the groceries downstairs and yelled, "PUT THESE AWAY RIGHT NOW."

It was not only unkind to yell that at us, but it was also unkind to throw them downstairs since the kitchen was upstairs.

Parents are ridiculous at times.

Also - good luck finding the salmon. It's not where you think it should be. We made sure of that. You'll be able to tell that eventually, though.

Rodents

I don't like rats any more than the next bloke, but they ain't wicked and cruel like people can be. They're just ratty in their habits.

~ Phillip Pullman

- - - - -

Last fall I was home alone. Leslie had gone somewhere for the weekend. Suddenly, a mouse ran across the floor. I did not like that. I texted Leslie and told her I was going to get a couple of cats so we wouldn't have that problem. She told me I could not. I said I was going to get a puppy then. She told me I could not. Then she told me what kind of mouse trap she recommended.

I went to the store to get that. I left the garage door open because the store is less than two minutes from our house. When I came home, there was a cat sitting in our garage. It ran away when it saw the car, but still... this is proof to me that the universe or some being in the universe controls things and has a sense of humor that it uses often at my expense.

I was grateful that it was a mouse and not a rat. I was grateful that Leslie made rules about me not getting cats or a puppy. It was late at night and I'd have had to steal the cats or puppy and that's not really a thing I'm inclined to do.

We all lived happily ever after. Except that mouse which I assume ate some of the poison I put out for it and went off to die somewhere.

Magic

Magic is believing in yourself. If you can do that, you can make anything happen.

~ Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

- - - - -

When you're small, you think your parents are amazing. Everything - or many things, at least - are mysteries. Parents can do things you cannot. You hope to one day have their super powers.

Which is why I liked it when Jared pushed the button for the back hatch of the car to close and Zak said, "Abracadada."

Stay

When fortune comes, offer her a chair.

~ Yiddish saying

- - - - -

Leslie and I had Chinese food one time before she finished her Ph.D. When she opened her fortune, Leslie said, "It says ' 'You're a loser and you'll never finish your dissertation.'"

She was not telling the truth. The fortune didn't say that and she did finish her dissertation.

And so far as I know, while she may have invited fortune to hang out, I'm not sure she ever invited it to spend any time "loittering."

Focus

Concentration can be cultivated. Once can learn to exercise willpower, discipline one's body, and train one's mind.

~ Anil Ambani

- - - - -

I like to write, but I often find myself encountering obstacles when I try to write. For example, the other day I was sitting at the park working on a manuscript. I saw a turtled swim by. I thought, "Hm. Turtles are fast swimmers. I wonder how they'd do in a triathalon. Then I realized a turtle can't ride a bike. So I looked up: "What animal could win a triathlon." 

By the time that was done, what I had been writing for work didn't seem all that interesting.

Training

If a train doesn't stop at your station, then it's not your train.

~ Marianne Williamson

- - - - - -

A few years ago Leslie wanted the book The Girl on the Train. She got it. Of course my smart aleck brother Kirk (along with some encouragement from his smart aleck sister) also got her "The Lady on the Train," "Nancy Drew Diaries: Strangers on a Train," "The Girl from the Train," and some other books. 

I thought it was funny. I don't think Leslie was very grateful, though. I'm not sure she even read most of those books.

Gardening

Vegetable gardening might be considered one of the great conservative rituals.

~ David M. Tucker

- - - - - 

We've had a couple of years of gardens now in SC. Last year we had a pretty productive year. This year, much less so. I"m hoping next year - even if it's not as good as the first year will not be a poor year. I hope at the very least it's mediokra.

Barn

Wolves are the witches of the animal world.

~ Katherine Rundell

- - - - -

I have to believe that if three little pigs lived in a barn (a "house of wood" if you would), that they would be safe from a wolf assuming the barn was well built and the doors and windows were closed. So far as I know neither wolves nor dogs can "blow down" things. I don't think they can blow at all.

Now they do breathe. So if the story started as the big bad wolf BREATHED the house down, maybe that would work. But I think wolves probably value you their time. I'm guessing a wolf would go somewhere else to find something else to eat. Like a feral pig who didn't know how to build a barn.

Sushi

Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime. Unless he doesn't like sushi, then you also have to teach him to cook.

~ Auren Hoffman

- - - - -

Or he can learn to like sushi.

Hiding

Your need for acceptance can make you invisible in this world. Don't let anything stand in the way of the light that shines... Risk being seen in all of your glory.

~ Jim Carrey

- - - - -

Leslie and I went for a hike one time. We came to a bridge and she stopped and said, "Look!" I stopped and looked and saw this little guy. I don't know how she saw it, but I was glad she did. It changed colors as we looked at it to blend in with the bridge.

I thought, "How sad that it can't just be whatever color it wants. It is trying to be invisible and not letting itself be seen in all it's glory."

Suddenly, it turned bright green! It's as if it heard my thoughts. As soon as it was completely green a hawk swooped down and ate it. Or I assume the hawk ate it. It carried off the little lizard.

(pause)

Okay, so the only part of that story that is true is the part about Leslie seeing the lizard and us watching it blend in.

The moral of this fable is: Be yourself, but don't be stupid and obnoxious about it. 

("Who is to say what is stupid and obnoxious," you ask? Me.)

Overheard

The good parts of a book may be only something a writer is lucky enough to overhear or it may be the wreck of his whole damn life, and one is as good as the other.

~ Ernest Hemingway

- - - - - -

Overheard...

Person 1: Sometimes I don't think you listen to me. I ask how you're doing and you don't say a word.

Person 2: What? I listen to you.

Person 1: Okay, then tell me the truth - how are you?

Person 2: 78. How old are you?

Support

Water in the boat ruins the boat, but water under the boat is its support.

~ Rumi

- - - - -

Just like air in the parachutist ruins the parachutist, but air under the parachutist is its support.

Window

My favorite journey is looking out the window.

~ Edward Gorey

- - - - -

Are the windows we look through also the windows we see through?

Yes. Because "look" and "see" mean pretty much the same thing. 

Snake

Snakes have no arms. That's why they don't wear vests.

~ Steven Wright

- - - - -

Maybe the reason a lot of people don't like snakes is that it is hard to anthropomorphize them. Not only can they not wear vests, they can't wear a lot of clothing. Like skirts. Or hats. Well, Maybe a snake could wear a bonnet. Or a --

Wait. That's not true at all. That Richard Scarry snake used to wear a little hat with a feather in it and a red sweater over a white oxford shirt and tie. I think. 

Wait here. Let me go check.

Nope. My bad. That was a worm. 

So, anyway, it's hard to anthropomorphize snakes because they can't wear clothing.

Diving

Diving is a leap of faith plus gravity.

~ Gabrielle Zevin

- - - - -

I saw this guy at Hartwell Dam. I was journaling and I knew he was going to dive in, so I took his photo. 

It's not a great story.

But it's not a bad photo.

Beauty

Nature doth thus kindly heal every wound. By the meditation of a thousand little mosses and fungi, the most unsightly objects become radiant of beauty. There seem to be two sides of this world, presented us at different times, as we see things in growth or dissolution, in life or death. And seen with the eye of the poet, as God sees them, all things are alive and beautiful.

~ Henry David Thoreau

- - - - - 

In the past decade or so, I have developed a fascination with fungi. I don't know if it is where I gone and happened to see so many different kinds - especially since my move to South Carolina. Or it could be that I have slowed down and paid more attention to things as I walk.

I think fungi are interesting. They really are a symbol of the living springing from the dead. 

Also, if I found out that the toadstools in my backyard are growing because there are dead bodies buried there, I would completely grossed out and not able to see the beauty in that.

Seriously, I try to be positive and appreciate things in the world, but I have my limits.

Photos

Photography has nothing to do with cameras.

~ Lucas Gentry

- - - - -

I probably posted about this before, but shut up. This is my blog. I can post about it again if I want.

I can't stand it when people say, "That's a great picture. What kind of camera do you have?"

I don't think people say, "That'a great book. What kind of typewriter do you have?" Or "That's a great cake. What kind of oven do you have?" Or "That's a great white shark!!!  Look out!!!"

Well, maybe they say that last one sometimes. And maybe they don't say that first one because most people type on computers.

I think sometimes you intentionally try to miss the point.

Dog

My fashion philosophy is, if you're not covered in dog hair, your life is empty.

~ Elayne Boosler

- - - - -

I had a dream the other night that Leslie and I got a puppy. But then I left the French doors open. It was raining and the puppy got out. I didn't realize it for a bit. When I went looking for him, I realized I'd let him out. I went to the door and called and he came home, wet, cold, and with a limp.

I dried him off and warmed him up. He was okay, but still had a limp.

Is that my subconscious telling me I'm not ready for a puppy?

No. It is not.

That is my subconscious telling me I'm not ready for French doors.

Teaching

Those who know, do. Those who understand, teach.

~ Aristotle

- - - - -

Macrame. That's what I'm teaching in my home.

(pause)

That was a lie. I neither know nor understand macrame.

(pause)

I'm teaching lying in  my home.

Badminton

A strong, positive self image is the best preparation for success.

~ Dr. Joyce Brothers

- - - - -

A strong, positive self image  and a badminton racquet is the best preparation for success and everything else that might come along.

Butterfly

Butterflies are self-propelled flowers.

~ R. H. Heinlein

- - - - - 

One of my notes to myself for future blog posts read, "Mom died and came back as a butterfly." Now, I also send notes to myself about possible short story ideas, titles of country songs I should write, dreams I have had, and board game ideas. 

I have no idea which category this falls into.

GoGo

Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius, and it's better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring.

~ Marilyn Monroe

- - - - -
Leslie is a great person. And she can be weird sometimes.

Me: (right after Leslie was ridiculous) You're ridiculous.

Leslie: I'm not ridiculous. I'm a lady.

(pause)

See what I mean?

For the record, I also think a touch of ridiculousness makes for a wonderful grandparent.

Swings

My father would take me to the playground and put me on mood swings.

~ Jay London

- - - - -

I wonder why moods are on swings. Couldn't there be a mood slide or a mood teeter totter (or see saw, that's not my point), or a mood merry go round?

(pause)

I just realized that as it is possible to buy an actual playground merry go round and put it in your yard. 

(pause)

Why don't more people do that?

Buoys

Feeling is deep and still; and the word that floats on the surface

Is as the tossing buoy, that betrays where the anchor is hidden.

~ Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

- - - - -

I bet that if there were buoys that exploded and hurt people or didn't explode and hurt people - what I'm trying to say is that I bet if there were buoys that hurt people no one would say, "Buoys will be buoys" and do nothing about it. No. I think people would figure out why the buoys were doing those things and they would make sure that it quit happening.

That's what I think.

Momtext

Reading is a basic tool in the living of a good life.

~ Joseph Addison

- - - - -

This is about a cat dissection book in my mom's basement. Allegedly it was for a class she took. I believe the name of the class was, "ANAT102: How to Skin a Cat." The prerequisite, I can only assume, was "ANAT101: WHY to Skin a Cat."

Walk

Learning to walk again

I believe I've waited long enough

Where do I begin

~ Foo Fighters

- - - - -

My friend Cristina is one of the strongest people I know. And stubborn. She has overcome so much and learned and relearned so much. She does NOT give up.

Unless she's watching kids and one of the threatens to eat some sand out of a Zen garden. She just lets that happen because - well, some kids are more stubborn than she is.

Attention

The measure of a man is what he does with his power.

~ Plato

- - - - -

The other day I was at lunch with Zak and Jared and Kirk. At one point Zak flexed his arms and randomly shouted, "I AM POWERFUL!!!! BWAAA HA HAAAAA!"

Kirk immediately said, "ZAK! Inside voice!" He then looked around and realized that we were sitting  on the outside patio of the restaurant. He murmured to me, "Of course, what am I gonna do if he doesn't use his inside voice? Walk over there (he pointed two feet beyond out table to the "outside" of the restaurant) and talk to him about it?

I said, "I think you should be less concerned about inside/outside voice and more concerned that you may be raising an evil villain. 

I don't think Zak is an evil villain, but combining "I am powerful" with "Bwaaa ha haaa" - well, I'd at least pay attention to the possibility. 

#facultysocks

"One can never have enough socks," said Dumbledore.

~ K. J. Rowling

- - - - -

A week ago, Dr. Jaekel posted the first faculty socks photo I had ever seen. I shared the photo above with Dr. Jaekel privately and then posted the photo to Instagram. These were the socks I had been wearing that same day.  Then Dr. Hernandez posted a follow up photo labeled #facultysocks. So there are at least three of us who are simultaneously faculty-ing and being intentional about our sock-ing.

I never knew until this happened how uplifting it can be to have people appreciate your socks. And how socks can connect us across the country. I mean, I imagine a rope of socks could also connect us across the country, but that would seem to waste a lot of socks.

My point is - thanks my #facultysocks friends.

Click

In the digital world, whether it's digital cameras or satellites or just what you click on, we need to have more explicit rules- not just for governments, but for private companies.

~ Bill Gates

- - - - -

You know those things on computers that pop up and say, "Click on all the lighthouses to prove you're not a robot" and then you click on a box that says "I'm not a robot"? I wonder if artificial intelligence will ever get so advanced that if robots are doing stuff online that they will click the "I'm not a robot" box. Or if they might just self destruct because of the existential confusion.