Mail

Owney was a scruffy mutt who became a regular fixture at the Albany, New York post office in 1888. his owner was likely a postal clerk who let the dog walk him to work. Owney was attracted to the texture or sceent of the mailbags and when his master moved away, Owney stayed with his new mail clerk friends. he soon began to follow mailbags, first onto mail wagons and then mail trains. Owney began to ride with the bags on Railway Mail Service (RMS) trains across the state.... and then the country! TheRailway Mail Service clerks adopted Owney as their unofficial mascot.

~ The Smithsonian National Postal Museum

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I don't think we have to worry about Lily running off to join the Railway Mail Service. Why, you ask? Really? You don't think she loves us and wants to stay here? Well she DOES. 

(pause)

Also, the Railway Mail Service ended in 1977.

Grand

My grandmother was a very tough woman. She buried three husbands, and two of them were just napping.

~ Rita Rudner

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I think not all grandparents are all that grand. Maybe for those who are not grand, we could just call them "oldparents" or "crotchetyparents." And also you don't have to buy them cards on grandparents' day. 

(pause)

Despite the photos, this is not a post about Leslie. It's about different grandparents. 

Probably.

Menu

A hungry dog believes in nothing but meat.

~ Anton Chekov

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Lily believes in meat, but she also believes in bread and french fries.

(pause)

She believes in happy meals, I guess.

(pause)

And, actually, most any meal makes her happy. 

Replacements

AI will not replace humans, but those who use AI will replace those who don't.

~ Ginny Rometti

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I'm not saying AI created this sticker. 

because I don't want the robots to hear me criticizing them.
 

Stop

Stop watering dead plants.

~ Wesley Snipes

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I'm not sure they teach kids "Stop, Drop, and Roll" in schools anymore. I suspect it is because they don't make children's clothing out of flammable material as much anymore. 

 

Posing

To be natural is such a very difficult pose to keep up.

~ Oscar Wilde

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I appreciate it when people let me take their photo. I know it can be annoying to sit still and smile. I think it is nice to capture moments when people are together by interrupting their time together to make them sit down, keep still, be quiet, pose and get their picture made.

Wind

Make the wind your friend.

~ Jimmy Lane

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You can't just force the wind to be your friend. You have to woo it a bit so that it likes you. Bullying the wind into friendship is like bullying a person into friendship. 

If the person is invisible.

Famous

I'm not an actor because I want my picture taken. I'm an actor because I want to be part oft he human exchange.

~ Frances McDormand

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The origin of fame meant both to be of positive renown and ill-repute. The Roman goddess Fama and the Greek goddess Pheme personified fame and gossip whereas the Green goddess is a salad dressing. 

Supplies

Error sometimes supplies the surprises that makes life interesting.

~ Aimee Liu

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Sometimes when you get things right, that supplies a surprise, too.

God

Miracles occur all around us, signs from God show us the way, angels plead to be heard, but we pay little attention to them.

~ Paul Coelho

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I think it is really interesting when people say they know what God thinks, and then they feel compelled to tell other people what God thinks. Sometimes those same people - when someone says, "I know you think that..." - those same people will interrupt the person and say, "Don't tell ME what I think!" 

(pause)

I bet God does that a lot. 

(pause)

I bet he does that face palm thing a lot, too. 

Town

In his face there came to be a brooding peace that is seen most often in the faces of the very sorrowful or the very wise. But still he wandered through the streets of the town, always silent and alone.

~ Carson McCullers

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If you don't have a part of town that looks like this where you grew up, then you probably didn't grow up in a town. You grew up in a city. Or the country. Or a burg. Or a burrow.

Actually if you grew up in a burrow, you probably aren't reading this blog because you're a prairie dog. Or a vole. Or a puffin. 

Journal

Journaling is like whispering to oneself and listening at the same time.

~ Bram Stoker

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In olden times when you whispered to yourself, people would think something was wrong with you. Now people think you're on the phone. 

(pause)

There is still definitely something wrong with you, though.

Arches

All experience is an arch, to build upon.

~ Henry Adams

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If you are someone who designs arches and are one of the top two arch designers in the world, I bet that other top arch builder is your arch nemesis.

(pause)

Also, I hope your name is Archie because that would be perfect.

Stop

A failure is not always a mistake, it may simply be the best one can do under the circumstances. The real mistake is to stop trying. 

~ B. F. Skinner

- - - - - 

If you succeed at everything you do, you probably aren't trying enough things. I read one time that you either succeed or you learn. So when you succeed you don't learn anything. Except that you are better than all those people who failed.

 

Colors

It's not easy being green.

~ Kermit the Frog

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You know what REALLY isn't easy? Being fuchsia or tangerine. Especially as a frog. It's called natural selection, Kermit. Pick up a book sometime.

Fireplace

Peace, a fireplace, books, silence... Before this was seen as one philistinism. Now these are dreams of a lost paradise.

~ Erich Maria Remarque

- - - - -

You forgot dogs, Erich. Never forget dogs. 

History

You know in high school, if you didn't believe in science or history, it was just called failing.

~ Michelle Wolf

- - - - -

This sign doesn't seem like something you should be able to buy in an antique store.

Riding

It is the unknown around the corner that turns my wheels.

~ Heinz Stucke

- - - - -

One time I dreamt that I lived back in Ames, but for some reason decided to go to Huxley. Instead of driving, I rode an adult-sized Big Wheel to get there. I got to a house and there were two little girls playing in the yard. I talked to them. They loved my Big Wheel. Then the mom came out, and I realized I had met this family before. We chatted and then I pedaled off.

In that same dream I had lunch (without the Big Wheel) with a large group of people in a very crowded cafeteria of some sort. I was at work and ended up sitting at a table with two new students in my program. I wondered why all of my colleagues sat with each other leaving the students to sit with me (and someone else - I don't remember who) at the last table. I thought that wasn't very friendly of my colleagues (whom I don't know in real life, but they were co-workers in my dream, you know how that is sometimes). Anyway, I chatted with the students and they really got excited about some of the things I shared about the program. I realized it was for the best that I got to sit with them.

I share all of this to make two points. One, no one's dreams are really interesting to anyone else. Two, I'm way more social in my dreams than in real life.

Mediocrity

External signs of wealth and success are often cheap storefronts that hide internal mediocrity or even incompetence.

~ Real Live Preacher - Gordon Atkinson

- - - - -

I have found that mediocrity tends to be loud to drown out critique. Excellence is quiet. In both cases the work speaks for itself. You don't have to tell me what you've done. I can see it.

I can also see what you haven't done. Like that list of things I left you to do. You are so mediocrity.

Window

They own the window,

You own the view.

~ Vaneet Raj Kapoor

- - - - -

You might think that it is odd that when you are outside you are always trying to look in and when you are inside you are always trying to look out. You might think about the symbolism of windows in our lives. I think that is great and all except if you are thinking about it while sitting in the car in front of me and you are stopped at a green light.

Falls

Just let go - and fall like a little waterfall.

~ Bob Ross

- - - - -

A word of warning if you fall like a little waterfall. Just be careful you don't hit your head or break a bone on a bunch of rocks when you do that. Remember, Bob Ross was a painter, not a neurologist or an orthopedic surgeon.

Ending

Every ending will meet its own end. For every ending is destined to be swallowed up by a beginning.

~ Craig Lounsbrough

- - - - -

I like endings. I like them because then you can move on to something new. Like when a garden ends and you can move on to enjoying the leaves of the fall. Or when a book ends and you can find a new book to read. Or when you talking ends and I can finally get some peace and quiet. 

 

Shadows

When men yield up the privilege of thinking, the last shadow of liberty quits the horizon.

~ Thomas Paine

- - - - -

What really sucks is when they yield up the privilege of thinking to people who think stupid things. That is the worst. 

Jesus

Pray as though everything depended on God. Work as though everything depended on you.

~ Saint Augustine

- - - - -

I went to a doctor's appointment one time and the woman at the patient check-in desk had 15 (I counted them three times) little Jesus figures on her computer monitor. They looked like this:

What I appreciated was that some were facing out toward the people at the counter and some were facing back at her. It seemed slightly less judgmental or proselytizingish than if they were just all facing out toward me. 

Laundry

I'm not one to air my dirty laundry for the whole world.

~ Jenna Fischer

- - - - -

You don't want to live downwind from people airing their dirty laundry. 

 

Dog

To bond with a true dog is as lasting as the ties of this earth will ever be.

~ Konrad Lorenz

- - - - -

Every night between 3:00 and 430 a.m., Lily does a body slam against me. I think she just wants to be as close as she can get. It's sweet when I think about it throughout the day. It seems slightly less sweet between 3:00 and 4:30 a.m.

 

Goggles

     

I saw a commercial for an above-ground pool, it was 30 seconds long. Because that's the maximum amount of time you can picture yourself having fun in an above-ground pool. If it was 31 seconds, the actor would say, "The water is only up to here? What do I do now? Throw the ball back to Jimmy? Or put some goggles on and look at his feet?

~ Mitch Hedberg

- - - - -

Goggles change the way you see the world. 

(pause)

Not necessarily for the better every time. Sometimes change is just change.

Dogs

While there haven't yet been any studies done on whether dogs like being read to, anecdotal reports suggest they do.

~ Pet Expert Team, Purina

- - - - - 

Lily doesn't mind being read to if you don't mind her sleeping while you read to her. 

Gaze

It is beautiful to talk about beautiful things and even more beautiful to silently gaze at them.

~ Dejan Stojanovic

- - - - -

How lucky am I to have a creature like this in my life?

June

Spring being a tough act to follow, God created June.

~ Al Bernstein

- - - - -

I like June. June is the end of things that you may be ready to be done. June is also the start of new things that you may be ready to start. Additionally, June is not predictable, so whatever it is you're hoping for, June may surprise you.