Secrets

You are only as sick as your secrets.

~ Elizabeth Wurtzel

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Our secrets make us interesting, don't they? Have you ever met anyone and within 20 minutes of seeing them for the very first time you feel like you know everything about them? If so, you should be a private detective because that's really amazing.

Children

I didn't know what it was to worry until I had those two kids.

~ Gerald Vinnett

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I think parents always worry about their children. Even when, in Leslie's case, the children are grown-ass men. 

I think it's because children make horrific decisions at all ages.

But you know what they say... "DON'T DO THAT!!!" 

But you know what else they say? "This is going to make such a great story in a few years." (or at least they should say that part).

Surface

Narcissism is voluntary blindness, an agreement not to look beneath the surface.

~ Sam Keen

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I was going to post this on National Narcissism Day, but turns out that is every day.

Place

"It's easy to point the finger at someone else and place the blame. Go ahed. Try it. It's fun. Pick anyone and start blame placing the shit outta them."

~ Dane Cook

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I kept asking Sara if she wanted to go blame placing with me, but we never made the time before I moved away. 

(pause)

It's her fault.

Names

It is a sad truth, but we have lost the faculty of giving lovely names to things.

~ Oscar Wilde

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What people name things is interesting. I may have mentioned that Leslie choosing "Lily" for our puppy's name makes life confusing in my home, but that's on Leslie.

One time we were staying at a cabin and went to log in to the wifi. Here were the options that popped up when we went to sign in:

Redhead Crew-Cut

Unmarked Van

I Hunt Bare

I don't often get jealous, but I am not ashamed to admit that I was jealous of whoever came up with "Unmarked Van" as their wifi name. 

Hash

Love, like a chicken salad or a restaurant hash, must be taken with blind faith or it loses its flavor.

~ Helen Rowland

- - - - -

Religion, too.

 

Cheating

I would prefer even to fail with honor than to win by cheating.

~ Sophocles

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How does one cheat in ballet class? By stealing someone else's plié? By sending Natalie Portman to take their midterms? This is just one of the many mysteries I have been involved in solving in my life. 

I shall say no more at this time.

Responses

The loudest duck gets shot.

~ Chinese Proverb

The squeaky wheel gets the grease.

~ American Proverb

- - - - -

I think these two proverbs in comparison are really fascinating. In one example if you are loud and annoying, you are eliminated. In the other, you are rewarded. Both probably work, but each has different long-term implications, I think.

I feel like there could be some middle ground between getting shot and getting spoiled. Something like:

A whimpering dog can help dig himself out of a hole.

~ Boettcher Proverb

Not sure that will catch on.

Lists

We like lists because we don't want to die.

~ Umberto Eco

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But sometimes our understanding of what was going on when certain lists were created dies.

 

Rat

A picture is a secret about a secret; the more it tell you, the less you know.

~ Diane Arbus

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This does not look like a rat, but maybe it is supposed to look like mold that grows on rats.

Preserves

Never set your stomach for a jelly-bread sandwich until you're sure there's some jelly!

~ Charles M. Schultz

- - - - -

They had to redirect traffic around the jam in aisle 1.

 

Reading

No entertainment is so cheap as reading, nor any pleasure so lasting.

~ Mary Wortley Montagu

- - - - -

Ann GT: Okay, so I must admit that I do not usually read your daily blog posts - call me lazy or just an uncivilized derelict... But... [after a recommendation from her spouse about a specific post] I just finished reading it - my stomach hurts from laughing so hard.

I treasure this message from 2011 for two reasons. First, I like it when my blog makes people laugh. Second, it is weird foreshadowing for when Ann, as my dissertation chair, gave me feedback on part of my dissertation that read, "This is a dissertation, not a blog post."

 

Songs

A song is an ever-changing and ever-evolving morphing thing.

~ Simon Tong

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On occasion I hear a song and realize that the songwriter has missed the opportunity for a really great lyric. It's okay. They are focused on their craft. I just wish they had run the song past me first so I could make it better.

For example, from Forever and Ever, Amen by Randy Travis:

Original lyric:

They say time takes its toll on a body

Makes a young girl's brown hair turn gray

But honey I don't care, I ain't in love with your hair

And if it all fell out, well I'd love you, anyway.

Boettcher revision

They say time takes its toll on a body

Makes a young girl's brown hair turn gray

But honey I don't care, I ain't in love with your hair

And if it all fell out, well I'd buy you a toupee

Let me know if you have any other song lyrics you want me to check out for you.

 

Love

True love stories never have endings.

~ Richard Bach

- - - - -

Aurora, Leslie, and Ezra love each other. And they love Lily.

(pause)

Lily loved that tennis ball.

Bed

We've got this king sized to ourselves.

Don't have to share with no one else...

~ Let's Marvin Gaye and Get it On

- - - - -

I try not to judge people or their relationships. However, I am curious - how often does the couple in this song HAVE to share their bed with other people? 

(pause)

Actually, I'd rather not know.

 

Hope

Hope is like the sun, which, as we journey toward it, casts the shadow of our burden behind us.

~ Samuel Smiles

- - - - -

When I went to vote in the last election, I saw a mom and her two little kids coming out of the polling location. They stopped and took a selfie before they got in their car. They were smiling and clearly happy that the mom and done her civic duty and the kids got to go along and witness citizenship in action.

At a time when things were feeling pretty bleak, this made me really happy. 

I bet it's because those kids got away with voting underage.

Friends

We were together. I forget the rest.

~ Walt Whitman

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I don't think you have to do a lot of things to have a good friend. I do think you should do at least one thing for them. I do that with Leslie. Just one good thing. That way, when we get into a huge blowout of a fight like we did this week, I can yell at her, "I can't believe you're acting like this after all the thing I do for you!"

If I didn't do that thing, I couldn't really yell that.

Always plan ahead for what you want to yell at someone.

Upright

Every decision is liberating, even if it leads to disaster. Otherwise, why do so many people walk upright and with open eyes into their misfortune.

~ Elias Canetti

- - - - -

If there is one thing that kids indeed love it is ducks that do not float upright. 
 

Luck

Luck is the residue of design.

~ Branch Rickey

- - - - -

There are a lot of signs in the universe. There are a lot of things we can avoid if we just stop and think about the logical thing to do. And then do it. I know a lot of us who think and know what to do, but who don't do it. 

Fortunately, there is a thing called luck. Between taking smart action and being lucky, we can get by. If we are really lucky, we can get by without engaging with people who take stupid action.

Mattress

Mind over mattress.

~ Steven Covey

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I had a dream one time that I was asleep on a mattress on top of a lot of other mattresses. I was very, very high in the air and I didn't know how I would get down. 

I am sure it has something to do with the story of the princess and the pea. I'm glad I didn't think of that in my dream though, because it would have made me think of a joke involving a princess and pee and then I'd have had to go to the bathroom and I really didn't want to fall off of all of those mattresses.

 

Notes

If you wish to forget anything on the spot, make a note that this thing is to be remembered.

~ Edgar Allan Poe

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If there was something called "The Historic Murder Division", I would like to work for it. I take pretty good notes and I like history and I like murder stories. And yes, this post is based on a note I wrote in my journal that just said "Historic Murder Division."

If someone writes a book with that title, I will read it. If it sells a lot of copies, I might also sue them. 

Burgers

Grilling, broiling, barbecuing - whatever you want to call it - is an art, not just a matter of building a pyre and throwing on a piece of meat as a sacrifice to the gods of the stomach.

~ James Beard

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If you order more than one Whopper, Jr and ask for, say, "three Whopper, Jrs" I think that is just wrong. I think you should be ordering "three Whoppers, Jr" my friend.

Also, can I have one? Since I helped you out with the order? Seems fair.

Arrow

If someone is shooting an arrow at you, don't be there.

~ Buddha

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I think deep in my subconscious I have always known this strategy of avoiding people who mean to do me harm (by arrows or otherwise). That is why I try to so hard not to be most places.

 

Patience

If you are patient in one moment of anger, 

you will escape 100 days of sorrow.

~ Chinese Proverb

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Doctors are particularly good at waiting. Know why? Because they have so many PATIENTS! Hahahahahahahaha.

Unless they are Ph.D. doctors. They they don't have any patience. Trust me. I know some of them.

 

Unclear

There is something special about the beauty in the unclear, the ambiguity, the in-between that you can't totally recognise.

~ Alessandro Michele

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When I am on a TV show, I'd like the captioning to read "indistinct chatter" for everything I say.

 

Energy

Guilt. It's lazy energy. It doesn't change the future. 

It doesn't change the past.

~ When They See Us

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Puppies are not lazy energy. And they change the future. 

(pause)

And while they may not change the past, they can make you so happy about the present that you don't worry about the past OR the future. At least that has been my experience.

Flower

Great leaders don't create followers, they create more leaders. 

~ Tom Peters

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The first time I saw this quote, I thought it said flowers instead of followers. I actually think a lot of great leaders would make great gardeners, too. 

Collection

I don't think any collector knows his true motivation.

~ Robert Mapplethorpe

- - - - -

Today's blog is a bit different. As I was cleaning out my blog ideas folder at the end of the year, I came across a number of things I had saved from what I read over the past year or so. As we start a new year, here are some old observations. They likely won't be helpful in the future, but that remains to be seen.

I probably saved this because of the Pork Queen's name. However, The Port Queen is a Vegetarian also sounds like the title of a Flannery O'Connor story. 

This was a recommendation from Grammarly. I don't think I took this one, though - whatever it was that I likely did out of the generosity of my spirit - the person SHOULD appreciate it. 

Good job, Skipper. Clever marketing, Target.

Figures.

I like the idea of dog being a color. I don't think it should be this color, though.

I didn't buy any of these because I couldn't decide between the hummingbird and the Heisenberg.

Here's hoping we continue to appreciate the randomness of the world in 2025.

 

Over

Nothing's ever over. There's always something new.

~ Griselda

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I hope 2024 is over. It was pretty awful.

So far, 2025 is way better. Not that it's a competition. 

(pause) 

Still I am paying attention. 

(pause) 

And keeping score. 

(whispering) - For the competition.

Resolution

I think in terms of the day's resolutions not the year's.

~ Henry Moore

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I what you resolve to do is less important than what you do. Depending on your gut health, what you doo doo might be most important of all.