Anger

Anger is a funny thing. And it does funny things to us if we keep it inside. I encourage you to consider a question: Who benefits, my dear, when you force yourself to not feel angry..? Clearly not you.

~ Kelly Barnhill

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Anger is a funny thing when it happens to other people. When it happens to me, not funny at all.

 

Puppy

A puppy is the ultimate distraction.

~ Philip Rosenthal

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I was sitting at Magnetic South one time, waiting for my friend Tony to arrive. I saw a couple with a puppy coming in. The puppy had a toy in its mouth. I thought, "Oh... that puppy has a toy!" The moment the thought popped into my head, I heard a toddler across the room yell, "Him has a toy! Him has a toy!"

The morals of the story are:

* Dogs are awesome.

* Dogs with toys are worth noticing.

* I have the same level of focus as a toddler.

College

Colleges don't make fools, they only develop them.

~ George Horace Lorimar

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Okay, so here is an interesting story that I just put together using my excellent research skills. Gather 'round, everyone.

George Horace Lorimar was a journalist. As a young man he went to Yale University. His father was a minister and one of his parishoners - Phillip D. Armour - convinced George to leave Yale for the meatpacking industry. Well, that didn't go well, and when he next tried to open a grocery store, George failed at that, as well.

As a result, George moved to Boston and began working as a reporter. He would eventually become the literary editor of the Saturday Evening Post. In that role he published some of the greatest writers of the time - Willa Cather, F. Scott Fitzgerald, and Jack London to name a few.

Now, I was going to write that George Horace Lorimar also published work by Upton Sinclair. Upton Sinclair would go on to write The Jungle based, in part, on the embalmed beef scandal during the Spanish American War. Major General Nelson A Miles that claimed that Armour and other meatpackers sent chemically treated meat to feed the soldiers during the war. This was something that caused significant damage to Armour's reputation. While he was not found guilty of wrongdoing (because he didn't do anything wrong OR because he paid people off - it is unclear which), Armour's reputation never recovered after the scandal.

You see how that  brought everything full-circle? Lorimar being lured into the meatpacking industry only to later give voice to the muckraking author who called into question the safety and practices of the industry and changed labor standards and food inspection forever? 

Well, unfortunately, Lorimar never published the work of Upton Sinclair. He DID publish the work of Sinclair Lewis.

When I was in 8th or 9th grade we would choose novels to read. There would be a few copies each of four or five books and we took turns choosing the book we wanted to read. If you chose early, you got the book you wanted. If you chose at the end, you got what was left. One cycle of novel selection, I had to choose toward the end. All the copies of A Farewell to Arms or The Call of the Wild or whatever the other options were had been taken, so I was stuck with Babbitt by Sinclair Lewis. I hated that book. I thought it was ridiculously boring. 

So, I didn't like Sinclair Lewis then and now he shows up again so I can dislike him in a whole new way.

My life is so hard.

Chickens

I don't know which is more discouraging, literature or chickens.

~ E. B. White

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My brother was allergic to live chickens, but not chicken the food. He used to eat chicken. I guess he showed them.

Patients

The patient experience begins and ends with compassion.

~ Jean Watson

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I had to stay in the hospital for a few days not too long ago. The people were very nice, but I really wanted to go home. The first day the doctor said I might get released that day. I did not. The next day the doctor said I would probably be released. Then it looked like I was going to have stay yet another night. I got a little upset.

I was talking to my nurse - who was wonderful. I said, "If you work tomorrow, maybe don't ask for this room. I understand that I can't go home today, but if I don't get released tomorrow I'll be really upset and you've been so kind that I don't want you to have to deal with that."

She smiled and said, "Michelle, you are a very calm person. Even if you were upset, I don't think it would be problem."

She paused for a moment and then added, "Also, I'm off tomorrow."

Fences

When you're 40, you can't ride the fence anymore. You gotta make definite decisions about your life.

~ Dolly Parton

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Aurora (looking up the hill at dogs in a yard): Those dogs have an invisible fence.

Ezra: (pauses and looks up the hill) I can't see it.

Harlequin

(Photo by Richard Boettcher)

[Altina Schinasi Miranda] took inspiration from Venetian Harlequin masks and thus the Harlequin (later known as the cat-eye) glasses were born. 

~ Betty Bachz

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Later on in life my mom would read a lot of Harlequin Romances. I don't know if that is interesting or not, but you know what is? That Harlequin was founded in 1949 in Canada by a former Arctic explorer - Richard Henry Gardyne Bonnycastle. He also earned a law degree from Oxford. And was a member of the world champion Oxford hockey team. He eventually became the first Chancellor of the University of Winnipeg and President of Ducks Unlimited. He died at the controls of his floatplane after safely landing on Long Island Bay.

It is interesting, isn't it?

Yes. I agree. It really is.

Siblings

I think people that have a brother or sister don't realize how lucky they are. Sure, they fight a lot, but to know that there's always somebody there, somebody that's family.

~ Trey Parker

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It's creepy to know that they are always there... hiding under the bed... or running upstairs to close the door and turn off the light and leave you in the basement in the dark. With somebody else who is always there. The basement monsters. 

Don't pretend that you don't know what I'm talking about. 

Unless you grew up in a house without a basement. Then you're probably not pretending.

 

Plants

Trees and plants always look like the people they live with, somehow.

~ Zora Neale Hurston

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I heard a story once about a person who was so emotionally connected to their house plants that when the person died, the plants died of grief. I believe that this can happen. I don't believe it is because of grief, but I do believe the plants can die as a result of their owner dying.

Because there is no one left to water the plants.

Dog

No bones about it: Dogs are good for your health.

~ The Mayo Clinic

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 If I was a doctor, the thing I would prescribe most is probably dogs.

(pause)

I guess I am a doctor. Schedule an appointment with me and I'll prescribe you dogs.

Dogs

You can never go wrong adding a dog to the story.

~ Jim Butcher

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If you've never had a great dog then either you have never had a dog at all or you are not that great of a person. I think great people can take any dog and make him or her a great dog in their own way. So, if you haven't had a great dog it is probably because you aren't that great of a person. 

I've met you, and that would be my guess. And trust me, it is an educated guess. I mean, just look at you.

Animals

(photo by Richard Boettcher)

We can judge the heart of a man by his treatment of animals.

~ Immanuel Kant

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This is a photo of my mom feeding a chipmunk some Fritos on her honeymoon. My mom's honeymoon. I don't know the chipmunk's story.

Dog

Everyone thinks they have the best dog. And none of them are wrong.

~ W. R. Purdue

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I never thought I'd say this, but I think I want Kirk Herbstreit's job. Mainly so Lily can go to work with me.

(pause)

There are probably other jobs I'm more qualified for where she could come to work with me. Maybe I should check out those first.

Bottles

There's not a man, woman, or child on the face of the earth who doesn't enjoy a tasty beverage.

~ David Letterman

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I love to buy lemonade from kids selling lemonade at lemonade stands. I love it. I will always stop. If I don't have cash, I will go get cash and then I will go back. 

One time I drove by the little park near our house. There were three kids selling lemonade. I didn't have any cash, but I had some rolls of quarters at home. I went back and gave them each a roll of quarters. They were so excited.

I did it because that was the cash I had on hand. More importantly, I always overpay because I think when you're first starting out in business, you need a little boost every now and then. It could come from a patron or benefactor or it could come from a random person or from happenstance. No matter what, we can always use that.

The lemonade is almost always bad, but the service is almost always excellent at a lemonade stand. 

Like the saying goes, when life gives you lemonade stands, pay up.

Farm

"Hot Corn - A spin on hot potato..."

~ Illinois Corn Grower's Association "9 Games to Play on the Farm with Children"

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Really, ICGA? You could have just shared EIGHT games instead of stealing hot potato. 

Also, I'm pretty sure these little buildings weren't used to store corn, so I'm just waiting to get yet another hostile email lecture from the ICGA. I know it's coming. And it is definitely warranted.

Moon

The day, water, sun, moon, night -- I do not have to purchase these things with money.

~ Plautus

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One time I was watching a lunar eclipse. I thought about the universe and God and miracles. The next morning on social media, The Onion posted this headline:

God Admits Humans Not Most Impressive Creation

Things like that are why I believe in God and that They have a sense of humor and perfect timing. As for you... you go on ahead and believe what you want. I'm not the boss of you.

Teaching

The art of teaching is the art of assisting discovery.

~ Mark Van Doren

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I wish my students would remember that when I scream, "Looks like I'm going to have to teach YOU a lesson!!!" it's just my way of teaching. 

Feather

If it's not bold, if it's not ruffling feathers, what's the point.

~ Chappel Roan

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As I get older, I like to watch birds more. Especially birds like the one in this photo. 

Watching.

Don't blink. You must never blink.

~ Michael Caine

- - - - -

It is pretty well-known that I do not care for dolls. I don't like the way they look. I don't like the way they look at me. It is rude to stare.

Apparently it is also rude to knock over a display of dolls in an antique store. 

Meaning

We are making photographs to understand what our lives mean to us.

~ Ralph Hattersley

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Lily is not my life. I have lots of other things going on. However, she definitely gives my life meaning. She is pretty significant. It's nice to be welcomed home, to be in such a safe place that she can fall asleep on my lap or leaning against me or on my feet. 

And while I like to make other people feel safe, I don't want most of them falling asleep on my lap or my feet.

Parents

It is an act of violence when an adult yells at a child. All adults know that deep down because all adults were once little.

~ Fredrik Backman

- - - - -

What if the parent entrance wasn't about a door or an opening to get into a place, but instead was the parent enTRANCE where parents get filled with wonder and delight and their attention is held?

What if?

That isn't rhetorical.

WHAT IF?

Pirate

If you want to get my attention, wear a pirate outfit.

~ Michelle Branch

- - - - -

Would I like to see pirates fight Noah's Ark? 

What a stupid question.

Of course I would.

 

Dying

Your feelings can still be hurt by a dying person.

~ Liane Moriarty

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But not for long.

 

Friends

Ultimately it's a sense of camaraderie and friendship with local people that is core to my journeys.

~ Tim Cope

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Lily is always interested in local people. And distant people. And all people. Except for three times when she met some guys she didn't like at all. Don't know why she didn't like them, but I trust her. Well, I trust her judgement of people. I don't trust her at all with a loaf of bread. 

Party

Design a menu which will allow you to actually be a part of the dinner 

party atmosphere.

~ Kerth Gumbs

- - - - -

You know, they call it "The Donner Party," but based on what I know about it, it doesn't sound like much of a party at all.

 

Pieces

I never fall apart because I never fall together.

~ Andy Warhol

- - - - -

This is one of the most difficult puzzles I have ever done. I got it on sale. I like Andy Warhol's art and some of his quotes. I don't think we would have been friends, though. I know he'd invite me to go to his events and I'd say I would go and then I wouldn't show up. Then he'd get angry and either talk about me behind my back or just quit inviting me. We would drift apart. We would both miss each other at times, but, in the end, he would be glad he moved on so he didn't feel rejected by me, and I would be glad he wasn't inviting me to his parties anymore. 

Also, he shouldn't have been inviting me to his parties. I think his biggest events at The Factory and Studio 54 were in the 60s and 70s. I was too young to be going to parties then. I don't know what he was thinking.

 

Mother

Is my mother the most interesting things about me? Maybe.

~ Liane Moriarty

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I think interesting mothers make for interesting children. If you've met a boring child, they likely come from a boring mother. I would suggest that the child's mother is probably pretty momotonous.

Clouds

I'm leavin' on a jet plane

I don't know when I'll be back again...

~ John Denver

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I recently found a cover of the song "Leaving on a Jet Plane" by Lake Street Dive featuring Tiny Habits. It is amazing. As soon as you're done reading this, go listen to it.

Anyway, having listened to it many, many times recently, and I've been thinking about the lyrics... 

I'm standin' here outside your door

I hate to wake you up to say goodbye

But the dawn is breakin' 

It's early morn

The taxi's waitin' 

He's blowin' his horn

And I have some questions. 

What door are you standing outside of? The door to my house? My bedroom door? If the latter, how did you get into my house? Also, why didn't you let me know that you were coming by so I would be awake? 

Also, are you sure I'm actually still asleep? I mean, the taxi is blowin' his horn. I think that probably woke me up.

I'm not really sure about this relationship, to be honest.

Now, seriously, go listen to the Lake Street Dive version of the song with Tiny Habits. It is outstanding.

Geese

If you feel the urge, don't be afraid to go on a wild goose chase. What do you think wild geese are for, anyway?

~ Will Rogers

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A few nicknames for Canadian geese that you may not be familiar with include: "flying rats," "snot rockets," "cobra chicken," and "sky carp." What is strange is that these are also nicknames I gave to my brother Erik. You might think it is mean since he wasn't actually Canadian. But I have two thoughts on that: first - it's the fact he wasn't Canadian that makes you think that was mean? And second, I didn't ask you want you thought, snot rocket.

Radio

"The Chordettes are all dead."

~ Me.

- - - - -

Not only did I not imagine myself every saying the sentence above, but I didn't imagine saying it to little Ezra.

(pause)

He took it pretty well.

 

Swimming

All good writing is swimming underwater and holding your breath.

~ F. Scott Fitzgerald

- - - - -

Leslie says all the time that I'm Lily's favorite.

Leslie: If we were drowning and she could save only one of us, she would choose you.

Lily and I look at her in silence.

Leslie: Good thing I'm a strong swimmer.