Ceiling

Knock three times on the ceiling if you want me.

Twice on the pipe if the answer is no.

~ Tony Orlando and Dawn

- - - - -

Dear Tony Orlando and Dawn,

You know what else would convey "no" to you? Not knocking on the ceiling or the pipes. Just leave me alone.

Love, Michelle.

P.S. This is one of the main reasons I'm glad I live in a house and not an apartment building with Tony Orlando and Dawn

Discriminating

Settling on a blade of grass,
      a dead leaf: the dew does not
                      discriminate over what to call home.
~ Soin

- - - - -

Okay, so I had this photo with this quote in my blog "to do" files. And then I just found it. The quote and the photo are so pretty together.

Also, I'm not sure dew has the intellectual capacity to discriminate. Or maybe discriminating is actually a lack of intellectual capacity.

So many things to think about.

Common

The invariable mark of wisdom is seeing 

the miraculous in the common.

~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

- - - - -

I see the miraculous in the common all the time. It's not because I'm wise. It's not even because I'm particularly observant. I think it's because almost everything amazes me. I mean, seriously, how did that happen? 

Hinges. Legos. Winter. Crayons. The Stapler. Tulips. Stopwatches. Manatees. Sunsets. 

Also, why "The Stapler." Why not just "Staplers"?

The world is full of mysteries and wonder and the miraculous.

Hazards

Of all the hazards, fear is the worst.

~ Sam Snead

- - - - -

Fear and those tiny little black bugs that bite really, really hard. Those are both the worst.

Roadtrip

Bizarre travel plans are dancing lessons from God.

~ Kurt Vonnegut

- - - - -

Leslie and I have different ways of planning travel. She likes to plan travel. I like to just travel. I don't mind detours and setbacks. I don't like sitting in traffic sometimes, but other than that I am mostly pretty flexible if we aren't on a timeline.

When Kirk and Jared said they were roadtripping to Los Angeles by way of South Carolina with a dog and a small child, I thought that was unwise. However, Jared is a planner like Leslie. It looked from the photos as if everything went well on the trip there and on the trip home. 

Unless they chose not to post photos of them screaming at each other or Zak having a meltdown... No. I'm sure that just wasn't the case and everything was fine and happy.

Now if Leslie and Jared went on a roadtrip by themselves, as long as they agreed with the plan I think they would have a wonderful time.

If Kirk and I went on a roadtrip by ourselves, we might not get to our destination, but that would be okay because I don't think we'd probably really have decided on a specific destination, anyway.

And if Zak and Vegas went on a roadtrip by themselves, they wouldn't get far because neither of them know how to drive.

Music

Music hath charms to soothe a savage breast, to soften rocks, or bend a knotted oak.

~ William Congreve

- - - - -

You thought it was "sooth a savage beast," didn't you? Don't lie to me. I know you did even if you won't admit it.

You also thought that this was a photo of Aurora playing the harmonica, didn't you? It's not. I don't know what the hell she has in her mouth. Someone should have been keeping a better eye on her. Probably Leslie should have been.

Abandoned

If you're feeling abandoned by the world, 
interact with anyone you can.

~ Martha Beck

- - - - -

So sometimes I write my blogs in advance. Then I sometimes forget what I write. Like I published a blog on June 29 that was pretty similar to this:

Being alone and being lonely are not the same thing.
Being abandoned and being in a band are not the same thing.

So when I saw it, I realized I had to go back and change this blog entry that was still in draft form so it wouldn't be too similar.

Then I realized that I could just make some comments about how similar the blogs were and I wouldn't have to create a whole new post.

I'm not sure if this kind of blog is repurposing, recycling, or upcycling. I think it probably is just lazy blogging.

Paradise

You cannot avoid paradise.  You can only avoid seeing it.

~ Charlotte Joko Beck

- - - - -

I believe this saying very, very much. I know people who actively avoid seeing paradise. I know people who actively pursue being unhappy.

It takes a lot of effort to be happy. 

I fail at happiness sometimes. I keep trying.
I fail at being kind sometimes. I keep trying.
I fail at forgiveness a lot of times. I mostly keep trying.
I failed at college biology. I kept trying.

Not really. I mean I kept trying, but I got a D- the first time. I didn't fail. 

Up

I think we all have a core that's ecstatic, that knows and that looks up in wonder.  We all know that there are marvelous moments of eternity that just happen.  We know them.

~ Coleman Barks

- - - - -

When walking or hiking, I am slow. I want to look around when I go on adventures. It's not that I am afraid of missing things. It's not a fear. I just would prefer not to miss things. And that means looking up and to the sides and down and back. There are things you can't see from every angle so you have to try multiple angles to see all the things.

Like a creepster hiding behind a tree. You don't want to miss that if you're out on a walk or a hike. Especially if you're by yourself.

Gone

Something has to die in order for us to begin to know our truths.

~ Adrienne Rich

- - - - -

If I have to be murdered, I would like someone to say to me, "You have to die for me to begin to know my truth" as they were killing me. I think that it would make me so angry I'd get super strength from the adrenaline and then I could escape.

Earth

Forget not that the earth likes to feel you bare feet and 
the winds long to play with your hair.

~ Kahlil Gibran

- - - - -

It's a good thing the earth doesn't long to play with my bare feet because I am super ticklish.

Earth

The thing that is incredible is life itself. Why should we be here in this sun-illuminated universe? Why should there be green earth under our feet?

~ Edwin Markham

- - - - -

Some, like Edwin Markham, ask why. I ask, "Why not?" 

Also, sometimes I ask people to pass the catsup.

Milk

I don't believe you have to be a cow to know what milk is. 

~ Ann Landers

- - - - -

Lizzie Borden took and axe
And gave her mother 40 whacks
And when she saw what she had done
She wanted sweetened condensed milk and got her some.

Marketing

Marketing's job is never done. It's about perpetual motion. We must continue to innovate every day.

~ Beth Comstock

- - - - -

I think this is just another example of how you can't trust marketing and advertisements. See how happy the Minions look in the poster at the back? That is NOT how he minions in the machine at the front look.

Liars.

Poor minions. 

Also, "Out of Order For Repair!" seems like odd signage.

Don't

If it ain't broke, don't fix it.

~ proverb

- - - - -

My friend Liz sent me this little journal and this little card. I have the card on my dry erase board by my desk at home. I have the journal in the glove compartment of my car in case I need to write ideas down. I assumed - base on the card that came with it - that I am supposed to keep it in my car. Also, it took me forever to find this exact car.

Anyway, I got to thinking about the negativity associated with quotes and proverbs involving the word "don't," and I decided to rework them so they are more positive. 

Don't bite off more than you can chew...   DO bite off less than you can chew.

Don't bite the hand that feeds you...  DO bite the foot that kicks you.

Don't burn the candle at both ends...  DO burn the candle in the middle.

Don't count your chickens before they've hatched...  DO count your chickens after they've hatched.

Don't cross a bridge before you come to it...  DO cross a bridge at the exact time that you come to it.

Don't cut off your nose to spite your face... DO not ever cut off your nose.

Don't have too many irons in the fire...  DO have a couple of irons in the fire. Like maybe a poker and a pointy metal cooker thing for s'mores or hotdogs.

Don't judge a book by it's cover...  DO judge a book by its innards.

Don't look a gift horse in the mouth...  DO ask for a gift other than a horse.

Don't make a mountain out of a molehill...  DO make a mountain out of dirt and rocks.

Don't put all your eggs in one basket...  DO put one egg each in about two dozen baskets.

Don't put the cart before the horse...  Unless it's in the dictionary.

Don't throw out the baby with the bathwater...  DO consider not having any babies if the idea of throwing one out with the bathwater even entered your mind ever at all.

Grill

Grilling, broiling, barbecuing - whatever you want to call it - is an art, not just a matter of building a pyre and throwing on a piece of meat as a sacrifice to the gods of the stomach.

~ James Beard

- - - - -

The goddess of the stomach was Juno - as in, "Juno how good that's going to taste when it's done on the grill?!!"

Knowing

Every artist was first an amateur.

~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

- - - - -

I like this idea. I recently (re)read that we should remember when we struggle with others' ignorance that before we knew we did not know. 

Patience and a desire to cultivate understanding via love is something missing in our world today. Instead we want to convince through bullying and fear. We seek to dominate others in order to silence them rather than listening to the ways in which we are all struggling or afraid. 

That's not a good way to be.

I think I better way to be would be to listen. And if you can sit with someone and really truly listen to them while you're sharing some ice cream, all the better. And if you can't share some ice cream with someone, that is the real problem. You need to do some work on yourself and figure out what those barriers are about. And work on those things.

And if you say, "Hey - I'm lactose intolerant, so I can't eat ice cream!" then you've missed the whole point of this post. 

Also, if you say, "Hey - I'm lactose intolerant, so I can't eat ice cream!" when you're in the woods or in church or in a library or in an ice cream shop, you're going to get some weird looks.

Crossroads

We have to get used to the idea that at the most important crossroads in our life there are no signs.

~ Ernest Hemingway

- - - - -

If you get to an important crossroads in your life and there IS a sign and that sign is a stop sign.

I don't know what to tell you.

Travel

People travel to faraway places to watch, in fascination, the kind of people they ignore at home.

~ Dagobert D. Runes

- - - - -

Today is Friday the 13th. I love Friday the 13th. 

Today I am actually NOT traveling. I traveled yesterday from Maine to South Carolina. I am home today. I will be traveling again soon. To Canada. Forever.

Not really, but sometimes I think I'd like to go to a faraway place to ignore the kind of people I watch with fascination at home. No. Not fascination. I meant fascism.  I'd like to go to a faraway place to ignore the kind of fascism I see at home.

I guess that the word fascism comes from fasces (which sounds and looks like feces). It means a bundle - a bundle of rods containing an axe. Sort of like tools.

I guess you could say that fascists are a bunch of tools that look like crap and sound like crap. 

Anyway, traveling is fun.

Kids

To observe people in conflict is a necessary part of a child's education. It helps him to understand and accept his own occasional hostilities and to that differing opinions need not imply an absence of love.

~ Milton R. Sapirstein

- - - - -
Me: (less than 24 hours after Kirk & Jared's child is born)  Had any fights with your kid, yet?

Kirk:
          Zak:  I want to.
          Kirk:  No!
          Zak:  I want to.
          Jared:  No!
          Zak:  I want to visit Aunt Michelle!
          Jared & Kirk: No!
          (Just that one fight)

Me:  I like that baby.  I loathe those daddies.

(Also, it's possible I used this photo already in my blog. I don't remember. Regardless, it's awesome and worth a re-post)

Look

I think the longer I look good, the better gay men feel.

~ Cher

- - - - -

Kirk:  I don't like that I got a message from Facebook saying "Michelle Boettcher posted a photo of you and it's a picture of that mask."

Me:  Lol.  Wookirkie.

Kirk:  I should be in star wars.

Me:  Moviestar Wars.

Kirk:  That should be a thing!!!  Lindsey Lohan vs. the little girl from Little Miss Sunshine - or - Vanessa Redgrave vs. The Rock!

Me:  Florence Henderson vs. John Cusack.  Rainn Wilson vs. Anna Kendrick.  Brad Pitt vs. Debra Winger.  Channing Tatum vs. Stockard Channing.  Or Tatum O'Neal.  Or Carol Channing.

Kirk:  Channing Tatum vs. Carol Channing is the winner.

Anew

We must learn to see the world anew.

~ Albert Einstein

- - - - -

I think it's good to try and see the world from the perspective of a child. You can learn so many things. And it's easier to do than you might realize. All you have to do is get down on your knees - you know, because children are short.

Trains

When I was a kid, I went to the store and asked the guy, 

"Do you have any toy train schedules?" 

~ Steven Wright

- - - - -

I like how this train track is the infinity sign. It can go forever and ever. It never ends. You can't tell where it starts. Like time and space and all the unknowable things.

Not like Bert. He is totally over this infinity train thing.

Sky

You are the sky. Everything else -- it's just weather.

~ Pema Chodron

- - - - -

Why do they call it skydiving? You're not diving into the sky. You're diving into the earth.

Text

Grace

There is enough grace for today. And that's what is real.

~ Nadia Bolz-Weber

- - - - -

When I was a kid and I would trip or fall or run into things, my parents would call me "Grace." It's not that I was any more ungraceful than any other kid. Maybe it was. That's not my point.

My point is that what I think they really meant was that I am awesome.

Desert

Once again there was the desert and only that.
~ Stephen King

- - - - -

I think that The Mystery of the Deserted Desert would be a good title for a Nancy Drew book.

I also think The Mystery of the Weird Sign Punctuation would be a good title for a Nancy Drew book. Basically, I think anything that starts with "The Mystery of..." would be a good Nancy Drew book. 

I also would love to read The Mystery of the Weird Sign Punctuation if it was about this sign because I don't understand the use of the quotation marks and the ellipse here as opposed to the wide variety of other punctuation options available to the sign-maker. Or maybe they only had quotation marks and ellipses 175 years ago.

Fireworks

Boom, boom, boom.

Even brighter than the moon, moon, moon.

~ Katy Perry & Ester Dean

- - - - -

Most things are brighter than the moon, moon, moon. The moon doesn't generate, but simply reflects light, I think.

Also, sparklers?  They have a whole building of different fireworks and SPARKLERS is what they post on the side of their building?  Is that a big draw for this place?

The world is so interesting and confusing. Sometimes I feel like a plastic bag.

(pause)

That's a lie. I've never felt like that.

Grow

It will never rain roses. When we want more roses, we must plant more trees.

~ George Eliot

- - - - -

No.

No, George Eliot, roses don't grow on trees.

Splashed

Either you decide to stay in the shallow end of the pool or you go out in the ocean.

~ Christopher Reeve

- - - - -

Other options:

1.   Get out of the pool.
2.   Get in a medium-deep pool.
3.   Get in a deep pool.
4.   Sit on the edge of the pool with your feet in the water.
5.   Sit on the dock of the bay.
6.   Sit on the dock of the lake.
7.   Mime like you're swimming.
8.   Lots and lots of other things.

All of those (except number 7) are legitimate alternatives to staying in the shallow end of the pool or going into the ocean.

Mad

Integrity without knowledge is weak and useless, and knowledge without integrity is dangerous and dreadful.

~ Samuel Johnson

- - - - -

When I look around sometimes, I get very sad and down. Things are not always good. Some things are sometimes really quite bad. I don't understand how people can act the way that they do. Actually, I wish they were acting. I don't think it's a performance or facade at all. I think some people are actually quite horrible.

But if I get too sad, I go back and read something that I wrote that makes me laugh. It's true. I do that. And it almost always cheers me up.

As for the people who make bad choices and make me mad sometimes.

They'll get theirs. 

"Is that a threat?" you ask? 

Nope. Just me being psychic.