Typewriter

Typing is no substitute for thinking.

~ Richard Hamming

- - - - -

The other day I was looking up the date for the academy awards. I accidentally typed "date for academic awards" instead. Is that because I have my work in my head? Is it because I am more likely to win an academic than an academy award?

I don't know. There is no way to tell. Could go either way. We'll have to wait and see. It's a mystery.

 

Breakfast

All happiness depends on a leisurely breakfast.

~ John Gunther

- - - - -

A friend once posted a photo of a breakfast something like this. It inspired me. It inspired me to make a breakfast something like this and then to take a photo of it. It was a very good breakfast.

I think you should always try to have friends who inspire you. I just had to look up the opposite of "inspiration" and was given words like "hinder" and "deter". I don't think you should have friends who do that. 

Hallway

Creativity is a mansion. If you're empty in one room, all you have to do is go out into the hallway and enter another room that's full.

~ F. Gary Gray

- - - - -

Every hallway is scary if you don't know where it leads. Some of those are scary, even if you do know where they lead. Like to a room full of stinkbugs or to a screening of the movie Cats.

Granite

What you try to bury just ends up burying you.

~ Jane Wagner

- - - - -

"One special feature of the collection is the original granite Confederate statue named "Dutchy," which was dismantled and buried in 1900 because it looked like a northern soldier to some. After being exhumed in 1982, it was cleaned and installed in the museum, where it remains a popular attraction."

Buried? Who came up with that plan?

Guy 1: Hey! That doesn't look right. Let's bury it!

Guy 2: Or - it's granite - we could just break it into bits.

Guy 1 and several friends: BURY IT! BURY IT!

Guy 2: Sheesh. Fine. But why do I have to bury it?

Guy 1 and several friends: Because you always do what we say.

Guy 2: I feel like I'm being taken for granite. Ha ha! Get it? Ha ha!

Guy 1: (not laughing) Here's a shovel.

Desk

A desk is a dangerous place from which to view the world.

~ John le Carre

- - - - - 

 or to capture it

Backpack

On a long journey, even a straw weighs heavy.

~ Spanish Proverb

- - - - -

We got this backpack for Lily so other people won't have to carry all of her water and snacks and poop bags. But you know what? She STILL expects someone else to PACK her water and snacks and poop bags. 

Sheesh.

Lines

There's no line between a designer and a consumer.

~ Virgil Abloh

- - - - -

I am amazed at how often house hunters stress that they have to have "sight lines" in their homes so they can see what the kids in the next room are doing. There were no sight lines in my house. In fact, more than once, I remember being told, "Get out of my sight!"  Or at other times, hearing "STOP IT" from the next room when our parents didn't even know what we were doing. They could see in their mind's eye what we were doing. They didn't need to actually see us. Today's parents don't have those superpowers. I bet they don't have a lot of butterfly Band-Aids on hand, either.

 

Palace

Be thy own palace or the world's thy jail.

~ John Donne

- - - - -

What you call a thing matters, but just because you call a thing a palace, it doesn't mean it's a palace. You might have made a typo. It might not be a palace at all, but just a place.

Mailbox

The Second Agreement: Don't Take Anything Personally

~ Don Miguel Ruiz

- - - - -

Why do people sometimes hate mailboxes so much? It's not about the mailboxes or what is in them. It's always - ALWAYS about the people and what is in them. Or what isn't in them. Of course, if someone tried to do this to a mailbox full of concrete, the result would also be at least a bit about what is in the mailbox.

Toadstools

I've never trusted toadstools, but I suppose some must have their good points.

~ The Cheshire Cat

- - - - -

I've never trusted Cheshire cats, but I suppose some must have their good points. 

Things

 Actual fact: You could make an entire second world out of what people throw out.

~ Barbara Kingsolver

- - - - -

In fact, some people do make their world out of what other people throw out - some by choice others by circumstance. Others because they own a pickup truck and can't drive by things sitting on a curb.

Attention

Tell me what you pay attention to, and I will tell you who you are.

~ Jose Ortega y Gasset

- - - - -

 If you ever wonder what faculty members are looking at during faculty meetings, it's this.

Web

Being a good digital citizen means recognizing and understanding the impact that the world wide web has on the virtual population and a commitment to adding valuable content whenever and wherever possible.

~ Germany Kent

- - - - - 

When they call the internet the World Wide Web, I get it. Just like a spider web, you can get trapped in the World Wide Web. You can get tangled up in what you are exploring or trying to learn more about. And, just like a spider web, if you don't break free, a spider will come and suck out all your bodily fluids.

Seeing

The value of experience is not in seeing much but in seeing wisely.

~ William Osler

- - - - -

Leslie: Is that a Viewmaster?

Me: No, it's a hand dryer in a gas station restroom.

(pause)

I wish it had been a giant Viewmaster in the bathroom. But I'm not sure what sorts of images would be on the reel. 

(pause)

Never mind. Let's just stick with hand dryers in gas station restrooms.

Phillip

The earth drinks all that's left of you and asks for more.

~ Philip Levine

- - - - -

If you find your value only on the terms of others (people, workplaces, churches, schools...), then you are not the boss of you. It's good for you to be the boss of you.

Especially when you do what I say.
 

Going

I may not have ended up where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I am intended to be.

~ Douglas Adams

- - - - -

Sometimes I think about the next trip I will take. In all honesty, I like to have at least a couple of trips on the calendar so that when one ends, I have another to look forward to. 

But life itself is a trip. We are always headed somewhere. We are always en route to something. We have to focus on where we are going, but not at the risk of what we pass by.

It might slow us down, but that just means we will arrive when we are supposed to. 

Note: This is a story you can use if you show up late for something. You're welcome.

Unattractive

Beauty is the illumination of your soul.

~ John O'Donahue

- - - - -

This baby's soul is comprised of mud and onions and lemon peel and shoes with a little bit of dog poo on them. Given that beauty is in the eye of the beholder, this is a piece of art for people with mud and onions and lemon peel and shoes with a little bit of dog poo on them in their eyes.

 

Cart

I'd like to get four people who do cartwheels very good, and make a cart.

~ Mitch Hedberg

- - - - -

A lot of times you hear people say, "I'm not doing this right now!" Sometimes it is when someone is in a fight with another person. They are fighting but then say, "I'm not doing this right now!" when CLEARLY they ARE doing it right then.

The person with this cart though, they really were NOT doing this right now. 

Privacy

Imagine for yourself a character, a model personality, whose example you determine to follow, in private as well as in public.

~ Epictetus

- - - - -

Overheard at the home of someone I know.

Parent to child in the bathroom in their home: Don't play with your penis in public. We don't do that.

Child: I'm not in public.

Repairs

Our willingness to wait reveals the value we place on what we are waiting for.

~ Charles Stanley

- - - - -

It's good to be patient when your shoes are being repaired because where are you going to go with no shoes?

Odors

There was an odor about him which I could not help but be aware of. It was a melange of bay rum, wet ashes, and tabac gris tinctured with a dash of some elusive, elegant perfume. 

~ Henry Miller

- - - - -

 
Leslie: (about a character on TV) The thing I don't like about him is you know he wears some kind of cologne that's stinky. I don't know what it's called, but I know what it smells like.

Predictions

Trying to predict the future is like trying to drive down a country road at night with no lights while looking out the back window."

Peter F. Drucker

- - - - -

I like to read horoscopes. I don't necessarily believe in them. Well, I do if they say good things for me. If not, I think they mean nothing.

A few weeks ago, I read the following:

"You are like the bubbles in a glass of champagne today: Full of effervescent energy that lifts the modds of people around you..." No. I am never like that.

"... And just like champagne, you'll have quite an intoxicating effect on the people who come into extended contact with you..." I was on the road by myself, driving for about 14 hours that day.

"... This is your chance to build on the promising spirit of a new relationship and get a lot closer to someone you find very interesting..." Again, driving. Alone. All day.

"... Unleash all your charm, no holds barred, and you'll get amazing results."

Of course, I do enjoy my own company. I did enjoy that trip. I do find myself very interesting.

Well done, horoscope. Well done.

School

I am always ready to learn, although I do not always like being taught.

~ Winston Churchill

- - - - -

Classes start on my campus this week. However, learning started before this. Like last week when faculty went, "OH MY GOSH! CLASSES START NEXT WEEK!!!"

 

Sigh

Move your feet,

Lose your seat.

~ American Proverb

- - - - -

You get up to go to the bathroom and lose your spot. Just the way things are. 

 

Light

No situation is so dark that there is not a ray of light!

~ Norman Vincent Peale

- - - - -

I have an idea for a horrible app. Here it is: there is a special light on your phone that exposes bodily fluids on things without having to spray them with luminol. It would be really popular. And super gross.

 

Rulers

The mob reigns but does not rule.

~ Marty Rubin

- - - - -

We may not always get to choose our rulers, but we can choose whom to follow. When we DO get to choose our rulers, choose the kind that is color and transparent. I had a blue ruler like that one time. I really liked it.

Judgment

Can you look without the voice in your head commenting, drawing conclusions, comparing, or trying to figure something out?

~ Eckhart Tolle

- - - - -

Cleotine didn't like the china her daughter-in-law selected. Every time the place settings were out, Cloetine looked at the plates with disdain. 

Exist

Make it simple. Make it memorable. Make it inviting to look at. Make it fun to read.

~ Leo Burnett

- - - - -

I think a lot of times people carve messages into bathroom doors or scrawl a message with a marker there just so that the world knows that they exist. 

And also to call out other people's sexual behaviors

Rules

Know the rules well, so you can break them effectively.

~ Dalai Lama XIV

- - - - -

Zak didn't cheat at this game when I visited him. Was I disappointed? No. 

Not yet.
 

Thoughts

With the new day comes new strengths and new thoughts.

~ Eleanor Roosevelt

- - - - -

Even if you are full of thoughts, that does not necessarily mean that you are thoughtful. Like Lily... she is a great dog, but she is not always thoughtful. Sometimes I want to sleep in, and she makes me get up. Sometimes she wants my food. Sometimes she steals my seat.

"What is she thinking?!" I sometimes wonder.

"I want this," is probably the answer.

(pause)

I love her so much.

 

Mistakes

Isn't it nice to think that tomorrow is a new day with no mistakes in it yet?

~ Lucy Maud Montgomery

- - - - -

As you begin this new week in this new year, I encourage you to not have arguments on your cell phone while you're in the grocery store. Everyone can hear you, and even if you are "right" you look ridiculous.  I hope you find this tip helpful. If not, I hope you follow the advice anyway. 

New

The magic in new beginnings is truly the most powerful of them all.

~ Josiyah Martin

- - - - -

Okay, 2023, I'm glad you're here. Let's get a few things straight before we get too far into this relationship, okay? My expectations:

1. None.

If I don't have any expectations, you can't let me down, right? 

We'll see.