Surprises

Sometimes the greatest shock is getting exactly what we've been promised.

~ Rebecca Makkai

- - - - -

Leslie obsesses about the weather app on her phone. She is always updating me about the weather. She is often surprised (or so it seems) when what was predicted one day changes or is not ultimately what happens on a given day.

However, I benefit in tremendous ways as a result of Leslie's planning. Like during the hurricane last year. She helped us prepare by protecting food, getting supplies, making sure things were charged before we lost power, and working with the neighbors so we had some power from their generator since we were without power for several days. I am grateful to her for all of that.

As for me, I tend to be more surprised when the weather app is right. 

I am also surprised when someone jumps out at me.

Redux

That was my blog post a year ago when I drove home in May. I was driving home to be with my mom when she passed. I didn't completely know that at the moment, but that is how it turned out. Of course, I had written the blog post weeks (maybe months) earlier. 

Do I think that this means I have some psychic powers? No. It just means I have written a LOT of blog posts and one of them is bound to be eerily accurate at some point. 

And I WAS changed by that trip. I became an orphan. I joke because that is what I do. If you are hurt or offended, it's okay. You'll be all right. Maybe it helps you to know that my mom would have found it funny.

What isn't funny is how difficult it is to place adult orphans in new families.

 

Color

Nature always wears the colors of the spirit.

~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

- - - - -

If you aren't astonished by colors in nature, shame on you. I looked up why we say "Shame on you." What I have been able to determine so far is that we say it because people behave poorly.

peek!

It's fun to peek into other people's worlds and see how they go about doing things.

~ Norah Jones

- - - - -

Peeking into other people's words is okay, I guess, but apparently peeking into their windows is now. Well then, how am I supposed to peek into their worlds, Mr. Police Officer? Huh?!!

Skunk

On arriving in the New World and meeting them for the first time, early naturalists referred collectively to members of the skunk family as stinkards.

~ Christopher Kemp

- - - - -

I wouldn't think a "You're a L'il Skunk" hat would be very popular, which would mean I wouldn't think that there would be a need for two of them.

Breakfast

What nicer thing can you do for someone than make them breakfast?

~ Anthony Bourdain

- - - - -

When Leslie and the kids made egg cups last summer at Camp GoGo, that was fun. First of all, egg cups are delicious. Second of all, it's nice to see kids doing things with their grandparents. Third of all, breakfast is an important meal. Fourth of all, okay, let's be honest.  Rarely is there a fourth of all. 

 

Security

Most people want security in this world, not liberty.

~ H. L. Mencken

- - - - -

I think I took this picture in a bathroom stall in a Chinese restaurant in Maine. I'm not sure the story of this door, but it is clear that they wanted to make sure whoever used this stall felt safe. There are two locks, a third that got moved or removed and a fourth at the top of the door (in case you didn't see that one).

It's scary to me to put security over liberty. That is a slippery slope. I'd rather people felt they had to liberty to slide down that slope if they want than that we keep everyone safe. In fact, there might be a few people I would shove down that slippery slope.

Anyway, weird bathroom stall, huh?

 

Obstacles

The greater the obstacle, the more glory in overcoming it.

~ Moliere

- - - - -

Life can be really hard at times which is why obstacle courses are so weird. Life is hard, let's make it harder by forcing you to jump from stone to stone or avoid the crocodiles or crawl through mud. But there must be something about WANTING obstacles, right? Like watching kids jump around from one piece of furniture to the next because the floor is quicksand or lava or fire. 

Also, QUIT JUMPING ON MY FURNITURE!! HOW'D YOU KIDS EVEN GET IN MY HOUSE?!!!

 

Guidestones

Let These Be Guidestones to an Age of Reason.

~ Georgia Guidestones Inscription

- - - - -

Guy at dog park: Have you ever heard of the Georgia Guidestones?

Me: I have! They got blown up. 

Guy: I know. You know what they said?

Me: I read them, but never really understood them.

Guy: They said we had to get rid of pollution and manage the population. You know what the pollution is?

Me: Does it have to do with climate change?

Guy: No. It has to do with people sitting along the side of the road asking for handouts.

Me: . . .

Guy: Also, it has to do with pollution in the air. The government is putting metal into the air to control us.

Me: . . .

Guy: Look up - can you see the vibrations of the metal in the air.

Me: (looking up) Nope.

Guy: Yes, they are going to control us through our frontal lobe. We won't be able to think for ourselves. That's why they are working so hard to self-driving cars.

Me: . . .

Guy: Well, thanks for letting me talk to you about this. I better get these three dogs back in the car so we can get home to Florida.

Me: . . .

Guy: Thanks, really, for letting me talk to you about this.

Me: You're welcome. Have a safe trip.

Guy: I will. Thank you again.

Me: . . .

Lily prefers people at dog parks. I prefer the dogs. I bet the dogs have some pretty out-there ideas, too, but they never talk about them to me.

Beer

They who drink beer will think beer.

~ Washington Irving

- - - - -

You are what you drink. Those who drink orange juice think bright and sunny thoughts. Those who drink water think about how beautiful clean water is. Those who drink bleach think "AAAAAAAGGGGHHHH!"

 

Joy

The most wasted of all days is one without laughter.

~ e. e. cummings

- - - - -

Here is evidence of Leslie wasting a day. 

Sheesh, Leslie.

(pause)

Actually, she was probably just exhausted from a long day of adventures and activities at Camp GoGo 2024. And yet she says, "I bet we could do more days of Camp GoGo in 2025!" 

Okay. If you say so. Better start training for it six months ago, though. Lily, on the other hand, is ready at any time.

 

Tailor

I had a boss once who had a reversible suit... Better him than me.

~ John Schuh

- - - - -

I wouldn't mind being a tailor. I'd prefer being a tinker. I imagine I wouldn't be too good at being a soldier. I maybe would be good at being a spy.

Or maybe I already am good at being a spy. I'm not allowed to tell you.

 

Barn

Through the ample open door of the peaceful country barn, 

A sunlit pasture field, with cattle and horses feeding;

And haze, and vista, and the far horizon fading away.

~ Walt Whitman

- - - - -

You can receive or you can pursue. You can receive the noise and the cruelty of the world or you can pursue beauty in the world around you. It takes effort, but it is worth it.

Wealth of all kinds is like this. You can accept love given in tandem with cruelty or you can pursue love that is more pure. You can receive only the opportunities handed to you or you can pursue things that align more with your dreams. You can receive the wealth you are handed or you can go to the bank and rob it in pursuit of greater wealth.

 

Changes

No one disturb me, please. I'm changing my calendar.

~ Michelle Boettcher

- - - - -

It bothers Leslie when I don't change my calendar. I'm not sure why I don't always change it. It isn't something that is difficult to do. I just don't. 

Last year the month of May was up from May through the end of the year. Leslie didn't say anything at all to me during that time. I think maybe she thought I left it up because Mom died at the end of May - last year. A lot has changed since then. A few things for the better some is more difficult. 

Changing my calendar has not been one of those more difficult things. In the context of the past year, it's even easier than before. 

(pause)

Sometimes I still don't change it just to annoy Leslie, though. It's part of what makes me so pleasant to know.

Art

Every artist was first an amateur.

~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

- - - - -

When I was in elementary school, I won an award for a pastel art piece I did of a sailboat. My parents had it hanging in the stairway to the basement for most of my life. 

A couple of things... First, I won because I had pastels (and other kids didn't) not because the art was particularly good. Second, the people who cleared my childhood home after Mom passed didn't feel like that piece of art was worthy of being in the estate auction.

I'm not bitter or anything. I'm just aware. Just painfully aware.

Farm

Farmers - good farmers - and gardeners are noticers.

~ Diane Flynt

- - - - -

There are too many people who don't know farming and gardening. And the things they are not noticing are causing a lot of problems. And if you read this and think, "That's right. That's true about that other guy," well, it's probably true about you too. In fact, this post isn't even about farmers or gardeners or others. I wrote it specifically for you. Shape up!

Creature

I am still learning how to be a good creature.

~ Sy Montgomery

- - - - -

For whatever reason this year I am seeing more and more of these little guys around our back door. I see them in the shrub outside the window by my desk a lot. Sometimes they crawl up the side of the house. This week when I was watering the new rose bushes I planted, I saw one on the hose. 

I love them.

They don't love me. I'm not even sure they have the capacity to love. (That is a comment on emotional and psycho-social capacity, not me trying to shame them.)

 

Carrot

The day is coming when a single carrot, freshly observed, will set off a revolution.

~ Paul Cezanne

- - - - -

I am not sure how many revolutions have been set off by carrots.

(pause)

It is one of many things I do not know.

 

Betrayal

You can't be betrayed by someone who was never on your side.

~ The Residence

- - - - -

Betrayal is such a big and heavy word. The etymology of betrayal includes the idea of treachery - another big and heavy word. And the etymology of treachery includes perfidious, yet another such word.

I have known betrayal in my life. The next time it happens to me (and it will happen again), I am going to ask the perpetrator of the betrayal what the motivation was for their treachery.

(pause)

Who am I kidding? I'm not going to do that. I'm just going to let them go. That's what I do. 

And then I'll blog about them later. That will show 'em.

 

Beer

Next to music, beer was best.

~ Carson McCullers

- - - - -

Adult beverages are fine and all, but those baby beverages are just so adorable.

Trucks

I feel more at home in my truck than just about anywhere, which is a sad thing to say, but it's true.

~ Sam Shepard

- - - - -

Leslie and I saw the Gorton's fisherman in the parking lot at the post office. In case you were wondering, he drives a small white pickup.

Thanks

~ Posted on social media

- - - - -

Sometimes - maybe most times - when someone says something accidentally it isn't what they said that was the accident, it was that they said it out loud. 

 

Ideas

The great difficulty in education is to get experience out of ideas.

~ George Santayana

- - - - -

Zak makes me see things differently. He makes me think of things differently. He makes me see the world differently. 

Usually this happens when he grabs my head and screams, "How does the world look NOW, Aunt Shel?!!" Then he'll turn my head the other way and say, "What about NOW?! Huh, Aunt Shel?!!!"

Flipped

Do not worry that your life is turning upside down. How do you know that the side you are used to is better than the one to come?

~ Rumi

- - - - -

Sometimes life gets shaken up to make room for other things. Ever have a bucket of stuff and then shake it and some of the stuff settles so there is more room in the bucket? Life is like that. It can shake you up to make room for more stuff.

Or maybe it can shake you up and make it snow. If so, then you probably live in a snow globe.

 

Bunny

He said, "You become. It takes a long time. That's why it doesn't happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except by people who don't understand.

~ Margery Williams, The Velveteen Rabbit

- - - - -

I had to look it up, but enriched bread is bread higher in fat due to more eggs, butter, and milk. Apparently, bread can also be enriched by bunnies. 

Wise

Wisdom is not a thing you can acquire for your children.

~ Ariel Lawhon

- - - - -

You can often however acquire wisdom FROM children. They are way smarter than most of us. They play with other kids better than adults function with other adults. And also they will just tell you when you are boring or you dress weird. 

(pause)

Maybe that's just me that they say that to. 

(pause)

Stupid children.

 

Special

You have the capacity to be extraordinary.

~ J. Herman Blake

- - - - -

This restaurant is gone now. It was special. There are a lot of restaurants that aren't around for very long. They all have something special about them. 

One thing that is less special and more common when it comes to those restaurants is that they are all closed now.

Window

There's a world out there. Open a window and it's there.

~ Robin Williams

- - - - -

There is world out there if the window is closed. And maybe a bunch of dead birds on the ground if the window is particularly clean.

 

Touch

I have already lost touch with a couple of people I used to be.

~ Joan Didion

- - - - -

I'm reading a lot of little posts and comments about the adult you are being someone to protect the child you were or that you should think about if the child you were would be proud of the adult you have become.

I don't know what she would think. She was pretty moody.

(pause)

Don't tell her I said that.

Journals

[Journaling is] a way of disclosing emotions rather than stuffing them down...

~ Kira M. Newman

- - - - -

These are a few of my journals. I don't know what I will do with the journals in the long run, but I like journaling. Maybe it's less important what happens to them but instead is more important that they happened to begin with.

(pause)

I'm sure that is the part that is more important to the companies who sold me these journals.

 

Guidestones

What you leave behind is not what is engraved in stone monuments, but what is woven into the lives of others.

~ Pericles

- - - - -

The Georgia Guidestones were a set of pillars outside Elberton, GA - Granite Capital of the World. I found them accidentally one day when I was on a drive. I have been fascinated by them ever since.

Then one day someone blew them up. 

I am even more fascinated now. 

I am sad they are gone, though. I liked going there. I even took some friends to see them when they came to visit one time. I expected they would always be there.

I took the Guidestones for granite.

Writing

Write about what you don't know about what you know.

~ Eudora Welty

- - - - -

Oh, Eudora... there's so much to write about that. (pause) Wait. I imagine that might be part of your point. 

I'm on it!

Confusion

What is important is to spread confusion, not eliminate it.

~ Salvador Dali

- - - - -

Salvador Dali, I think you are right when it comes to creativity. I think you are wrong when it comes to tariffs. And human rights.

But what do you know? You're dead. 

(pause)

Which maybe makes you "dead wrong" right now.

Creepy

I don't trust or love anyone. Because people are so creepy. Creepy creepy creeps. Creeping around. Creeping here and creeping there. Creeping everywhere.

~ Vincent Gallo

- - - - -

We can be so different as people. I think I love people because they are creepy. 

However, I neither love nor trust dolls because they are creepy. Let me specify, they are creepy in a way that I do not enjoy.

(pause)

Also, I just looked up Vincent Gallo. The photo I saw looked like a combination of Joaquin Phoenix and Charles Manson. That's kind of ironic.

 

Color

Colors are the smiles of nature.

~ Leigh Hunt

- - - - -

Fog is the farts of nature. 

(pause)

Especially if there is a startled skunk in that fog.

Waterfalls

Two waterfalls do not hear each other.

~ African Proverb

- - - - -

Waterfalls don't have ears. They can't hear anything.

Joy

You get to feel what you are feeling right now. It's going to be more than some people and less than others. (Also it is okay to find joy in the world right now).

~ Nadia Bolz-Weber

- - - - -

So, earlier this month, I had a moment where the universe was reaching out to me. I won't tell you how I know this because you might mock it and, ultimately, it's for me and not for you. You have to find your own way. 

Anyway, I was about to write in this blog about how joy can be good at hiding. The reality is that it really doesn't hide at all. We just don't look for it all the time. Or we expect it to show up in huge events and moments. Instead, it is embedded in every moment in more ways than we can count. It's not about searching. It's about staying still and looking and listening and feeling. 

Unless you're talking about my friend Joy. She can be pretty good at hiding. She's a sneaky pisshead.

Smiles

Just be a joy to be around.

~ Sasha Colby

- - - - -

I think most dogs live in joy. Unless it gets messed up by humans. Of course humans can mess up the joy of other humans, too. 

So quit doing that.

 

Beer

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

~ Kinky Friedman

- - - - -

I understand that sometimes people drive you to drink, but when that happens, I think it's equally important to have someone drive you home from drinking.

Coveting

I don't read advertisements. I would spend all my time wanting things.

~ Franz Kafka

- - - - -

Wow is coveting a popular sin right now. Wanting instead of giving is popular in our culture, in our churches, in our minds. 

There are a few, however, who are not coveting or wanting or focused on what everyone else has. Their brains are quiet. They are at peace.

I wish I had what they have.

Cat

The worthy administrators of justice are like a cat set to take care of a cheese, lest it should be gnawed by the mice. One bite of the cat does more damage to the cheese than 20 mice can do.

~ Voltaire

- - - - -

Some days you see injustice in the world and don't know what to do. Other days you see injustice in the world and you know exactly what to do. Like when they degrade and dismiss heroes and you join the Cats on a Couch on Instagram as an act of subversion.

(pause)

Some days you take smaller steps to eradicate injustice than others.

World

Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It's already tomorrow in Australia.

~ Charles M. Schulz

- - - - -

I had a conversation with a friend a few days ago. It went something like this:

Ryan: How are you doing?

Me: I have food, shelter, and people who love me, so I'm doing all right despite the fact that the world is a shitshow.

Ryan: Let me offer you a reframe on that. The world is beautiful. It is filled with beautiful people. And a few selfish people who are making decisions with no regard for the consequences to others.

I have some wise friends.

And, yes, this is a photo of Canada. And, no, that isn't an accident.

Hope

They say a person needs just three things to be truly happy in this world: someone to love, something to do, and something to hope for.

~ Tom Bodett

- - - - -

I might add food, shelter, and potable water to that list. 

Humor

Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish.

~ Euripides

Once upon a time I was in a meeting. We were talking about someone named John Schmidt. I feel comfortable sharing this because there are a lot of John Schmidts in the world. Anyway, I wanted to share a thought with the group, so I posted the following:

This may be the single most hilarious thing that I will ever share in work chat. As you can see, two of my colleagues appropriately acknowledged this comment. There were more than two people in the meeting. The ones who failed to laugh at this... I am not angry at them. I am sad for them.