Pizza

While I know you're missing out on all-you-can-eat taco pizza, I'm really glad you didn't drop out of college and get a job at a gas station.

~ Amy Burke

- - - - - 

I struggled when I started college. I remember going home one weekend and thinking that I could probably be happy without a college degree. I didn't want to go back to college. And now I've been in college as a student or an employee or both for almost my entire life. 

I say a lot of times that I am the luckiest person I know. That is true. I have benefitted from a lot of things that have nothing to do with any work or talent I might have. And I try to be grateful for those things. Grateful for people I get to work with and learn from. Grateful for time to read and talk about things that matter to me. Grateful for safety and security and shelter and food.

Grateful that taco pizza is a part of what we call "food." I love that stuff.

(Note: There is no "National Taco Pizza Day" or I would have posted this on that day. National Pizza Day is February 9th and National Taco Day is the first Tuesday in October. That means National Taco Pizza Day should be in June sometime by my calculations.)

 

Noise

Don't wait around for your life to happen to you. Find something that makes you happy, and do it because everything is all just background noise.

~ George Mason

- - - - -

What if what you want to do, and what if that something that makes you happy is to take a lot of naps. And what if the background noise is really loud? Then you know what you want, but you still can't have background noise. What then? WHAT THEN, I ASK!!!!!!

Mirrors

Without reflection we go blindly on our way.

~ Margaret J. Wheatley

- - - - -

With reflection, we still go on our way, though sometimes with the sun in our eyes if we put those mirrors on the car seat next to us face up.

 

Ice

Take me deep into the wintry woods where hope glitters freshly worn.

~ Angie Weiland-Crosby

- - - - -

I think it is adventurous to go deep into the wintry woods. There is beauty there you won't see other places. You might see things no one has - or hardly anyone has ever seen before. 

Which is why it is also smart to go deep into the wintry woods with people you know and trust. You know what I mean? Like if you go deep in the wintry woods with a serial killer, I bet you don't even appreciate any of the beauty around you. 

Road

Here I go down that wrong road again

Going back where I've already been

Even knowing where it will end

Here I go down that wrong road again

~ Allen Reynolds

- - - - -

This song was written pre-GPS. 
 

Lonely

Writing is an antidote for loneliness.

~ Steven Berkoff

- - - - -

This photo exudes loneliness to me. Also, I first mistyped the quote above as "Writing is an anecdote for loneliness." I think that is a true thing. There is a lot of truth in mistakes. Like if you make the mistake of losing a shoe, you're going to be annoyed.

Annoyed

People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.

~ Isaac Asimov

- - - - -

This photo captures, I have come to believe, the dog version of an eye roll. I have come to believe it because I have seen this a lot from Lily.

Nostalgia

There's never any wind or rain in nostalgia.

~ Fredrik Backman

- - - - -

Nostalgia comes from the Greek combining ideas of "return" and "home" with pain. Homesickness. Nostalgia is a curtain that mostly blocks out all but the best memories. In a world where we are constantly encouraged to compare ourselves, our lives, and our accomplishments with others, nostalgia pushes back to idealize what it is we think we are missing from the past or from home.

My mom's house is up for sale. The guy who bought it from us flipped it. It looks a lot different on the inside, though it is virtually unchanged on the outside. I'm not nostalgic for that place, but I am a bit nostalgic for the people who lived in and near that house. 

Not all of them, though. There's one of them in particular who makes a recurring appearance in my law and ethics course.

Ah, memories...

Mornings

Time flies over us but leaves its shadow behind.

~ Nathaniel Hawthorne

- - - - -

They say one day you wake up and you are old when you were young the day before. That isn't true. Seriously. Look at a damn calendar.

Sheesh.

Carrots

Dogs can eat cooked carrots, too. In fact, while some vegetables have more nutrients in their raw state, carrots provide more nutrients when cooked.

~ Sandra C. Mitchell, DVM, DABVP

- - - - -

The nutritional value of carrots made out of rubber or fabric decreases dramatically - cooked or not.

(pause)

I just made that up, but sometimes the things we make up are true. 

 

Grief

(photo above taken on my drive through Indiana as I drove home to be with mom a year ago.)

Death was not the opposite of life. It was already here, within my being, it had always been here, and no struggle would permit me to forget that... I lived through the following spring... with that kind of knot of air in my chest, but I struggled all the while against becoming serious.

~ Haruki Murakami

- - - - -

A year ago today my mom passed. I'm doing all right, but still sad at times. Grief is like that. I'm sure my mother is glad I'm not happy she died. That would be more sad but in a different way.

The thing is, while I lost my mom, I gained a lot of other things. I got to be with her when she passed. I had never had that experience before. And at the very end, in those last moments, it was peaceful. Or it seemed peaceful. And she assured everyone she was ready if it was her time. That helped. 

And since she has passed, I have gotten to lean on people and to learn who was able to be there for me. I have been shown care and love by so many people. I'm lucky for that. And I have also gotten to be there for others as they have navigated loss. The fact that they trusted me enough to let me in during such a difficult time is a huge honor. And we share a bond that not everyone understands.

There is grace and goodness that can accompany grief if you take the risk with other people. My grief is not full of sadness and bad memories. There are good memories and great stories to come that were a part of the experience for me.

But maybe most of all, I am grateful to my mom. I had one last request of her the morning of the day she passed. She honored that - without saying a word. When I got there the last day, the hospital staff had put on '40s and '50s music for her. While I was sitting and talking to her, a song came on. She wasn't responsive at the time, but I said, "Please don't die while this song is playing." And she didn't. She did not die with "See You Later Alligator" playing in the background. And that is something for which I am incredibly grateful.

Pie

God's always got a custard pie up his sleeve.

~ Margaret Forster

- - - - -

You just never know if that pie is for your plate or your face. 

Pets

An animal's eyes have the power to speak a great language.

~ Martin Buber

- - - - -

 When I went to the animal rescue place, I wasn't sure if I wanted to adopt a penguin or a reindeer or a wolf, but then the yellow lab made eye contact and my decisions was made.

Generations

He plants trees to benefit another generation.

~ Caecilius Statius

- - - - -

When you plant trees one generation, then the next generations can have a rope swing. When you play on that rope swing, others will follow. Like Grandmother, like grandson.

Sky

My witness is the empty sky.

~ Jack Kerouac

- - - - -

That witness isn't going to help you much in court, Jack.

 

Fossils

I do not respect you, and I will never let you have any of my fossil fish.

~ Tracy Chevalier

- - - - -

Three have been a lot of amazing fossils found over the years, but perhaps none more impressive than this incredidbly rare fossilized dinosaur shoe that I found.

Eat

Your Pope name is the last thing you ate and the number of letters in your first name.

~ Social Media

- - - - -

Hello, everyone. Please offer love and support to those who are suffering, in poverty, and in need of help. If you aren't doing that, and even worse if you are taking advantage of others for your own benefit, you are a pretty bad person and God doesn't like you.

Love, Pope Bellavita VIII

Surprises

Sometimes the greatest shock is getting exactly what we've been promised.

~ Rebecca Makkai

- - - - -

Leslie obsesses about the weather app on her phone. She is always updating me about the weather. She is often surprised (or so it seems) when what was predicted one day changes or is not ultimately what happens on a given day.

However, I benefit in tremendous ways as a result of Leslie's planning. Like during the hurricane last year. She helped us prepare by protecting food, getting supplies, making sure things were charged before we lost power, and working with the neighbors so we had some power from their generator since we were without power for several days. I am grateful to her for all of that.

As for me, I tend to be more surprised when the weather app is right. 

I am also surprised when someone jumps out at me.

Redux

That was my blog post a year ago when I drove home in May. I was driving home to be with my mom when she passed. I didn't completely know that at the moment, but that is how it turned out. Of course, I had written the blog post weeks (maybe months) earlier. 

Do I think that this means I have some psychic powers? No. It just means I have written a LOT of blog posts and one of them is bound to be eerily accurate at some point. 

And I WAS changed by that trip. I became an orphan. I joke because that is what I do. If you are hurt or offended, it's okay. You'll be all right. Maybe it helps you to know that my mom would have found it funny.

What isn't funny is how difficult it is to place adult orphans in new families.

 

Color

Nature always wears the colors of the spirit.

~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

- - - - -

If you aren't astonished by colors in nature, shame on you. I looked up why we say "Shame on you." What I have been able to determine so far is that we say it because people behave poorly.

peek!

It's fun to peek into other people's worlds and see how they go about doing things.

~ Norah Jones

- - - - -

Peeking into other people's words is okay, I guess, but apparently peeking into their windows is now. Well then, how am I supposed to peek into their worlds, Mr. Police Officer? Huh?!!

Skunk

On arriving in the New World and meeting them for the first time, early naturalists referred collectively to members of the skunk family as stinkards.

~ Christopher Kemp

- - - - -

I wouldn't think a "You're a L'il Skunk" hat would be very popular, which would mean I wouldn't think that there would be a need for two of them.

Breakfast

What nicer thing can you do for someone than make them breakfast?

~ Anthony Bourdain

- - - - -

When Leslie and the kids made egg cups last summer at Camp GoGo, that was fun. First of all, egg cups are delicious. Second of all, it's nice to see kids doing things with their grandparents. Third of all, breakfast is an important meal. Fourth of all, okay, let's be honest.  Rarely is there a fourth of all. 

 

Security

Most people want security in this world, not liberty.

~ H. L. Mencken

- - - - -

I think I took this picture in a bathroom stall in a Chinese restaurant in Maine. I'm not sure the story of this door, but it is clear that they wanted to make sure whoever used this stall felt safe. There are two locks, a third that got moved or removed and a fourth at the top of the door (in case you didn't see that one).

It's scary to me to put security over liberty. That is a slippery slope. I'd rather people felt they had to liberty to slide down that slope if they want than that we keep everyone safe. In fact, there might be a few people I would shove down that slippery slope.

Anyway, weird bathroom stall, huh?

 

Obstacles

The greater the obstacle, the more glory in overcoming it.

~ Moliere

- - - - -

Life can be really hard at times which is why obstacle courses are so weird. Life is hard, let's make it harder by forcing you to jump from stone to stone or avoid the crocodiles or crawl through mud. But there must be something about WANTING obstacles, right? Like watching kids jump around from one piece of furniture to the next because the floor is quicksand or lava or fire. 

Also, QUIT JUMPING ON MY FURNITURE!! HOW'D YOU KIDS EVEN GET IN MY HOUSE?!!!

 

Guidestones

Let These Be Guidestones to an Age of Reason.

~ Georgia Guidestones Inscription

- - - - -

Guy at dog park: Have you ever heard of the Georgia Guidestones?

Me: I have! They got blown up. 

Guy: I know. You know what they said?

Me: I read them, but never really understood them.

Guy: They said we had to get rid of pollution and manage the population. You know what the pollution is?

Me: Does it have to do with climate change?

Guy: No. It has to do with people sitting along the side of the road asking for handouts.

Me: . . .

Guy: Also, it has to do with pollution in the air. The government is putting metal into the air to control us.

Me: . . .

Guy: Look up - can you see the vibrations of the metal in the air.

Me: (looking up) Nope.

Guy: Yes, they are going to control us through our frontal lobe. We won't be able to think for ourselves. That's why they are working so hard to self-driving cars.

Me: . . .

Guy: Well, thanks for letting me talk to you about this. I better get these three dogs back in the car so we can get home to Florida.

Me: . . .

Guy: Thanks, really, for letting me talk to you about this.

Me: You're welcome. Have a safe trip.

Guy: I will. Thank you again.

Me: . . .

Lily prefers people at dog parks. I prefer the dogs. I bet the dogs have some pretty out-there ideas, too, but they never talk about them to me.

Beer

They who drink beer will think beer.

~ Washington Irving

- - - - -

You are what you drink. Those who drink orange juice think bright and sunny thoughts. Those who drink water think about how beautiful clean water is. Those who drink bleach think "AAAAAAAGGGGHHHH!"

 

Joy

The most wasted of all days is one without laughter.

~ e. e. cummings

- - - - -

Here is evidence of Leslie wasting a day. 

Sheesh, Leslie.

(pause)

Actually, she was probably just exhausted from a long day of adventures and activities at Camp GoGo 2024. And yet she says, "I bet we could do more days of Camp GoGo in 2025!" 

Okay. If you say so. Better start training for it six months ago, though. Lily, on the other hand, is ready at any time.

 

Tailor

I had a boss once who had a reversible suit... Better him than me.

~ John Schuh

- - - - -

I wouldn't mind being a tailor. I'd prefer being a tinker. I imagine I wouldn't be too good at being a soldier. I maybe would be good at being a spy.

Or maybe I already am good at being a spy. I'm not allowed to tell you.

 

Barn

Through the ample open door of the peaceful country barn, 

A sunlit pasture field, with cattle and horses feeding;

And haze, and vista, and the far horizon fading away.

~ Walt Whitman

- - - - -

You can receive or you can pursue. You can receive the noise and the cruelty of the world or you can pursue beauty in the world around you. It takes effort, but it is worth it.

Wealth of all kinds is like this. You can accept love given in tandem with cruelty or you can pursue love that is more pure. You can receive only the opportunities handed to you or you can pursue things that align more with your dreams. You can receive the wealth you are handed or you can go to the bank and rob it in pursuit of greater wealth.

 

Changes

No one disturb me, please. I'm changing my calendar.

~ Michelle Boettcher

- - - - -

It bothers Leslie when I don't change my calendar. I'm not sure why I don't always change it. It isn't something that is difficult to do. I just don't. 

Last year the month of May was up from May through the end of the year. Leslie didn't say anything at all to me during that time. I think maybe she thought I left it up because Mom died at the end of May - last year. A lot has changed since then. A few things for the better some is more difficult. 

Changing my calendar has not been one of those more difficult things. In the context of the past year, it's even easier than before. 

(pause)

Sometimes I still don't change it just to annoy Leslie, though. It's part of what makes me so pleasant to know.

Art

Every artist was first an amateur.

~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

- - - - -

When I was in elementary school, I won an award for a pastel art piece I did of a sailboat. My parents had it hanging in the stairway to the basement for most of my life. 

A couple of things... First, I won because I had pastels (and other kids didn't) not because the art was particularly good. Second, the people who cleared my childhood home after Mom passed didn't feel like that piece of art was worthy of being in the estate auction.

I'm not bitter or anything. I'm just aware. Just painfully aware.

Farm

Farmers - good farmers - and gardeners are noticers.

~ Diane Flynt

- - - - -

There are too many people who don't know farming and gardening. And the things they are not noticing are causing a lot of problems. And if you read this and think, "That's right. That's true about that other guy," well, it's probably true about you too. In fact, this post isn't even about farmers or gardeners or others. I wrote it specifically for you. Shape up!

Creature

I am still learning how to be a good creature.

~ Sy Montgomery

- - - - -

For whatever reason this year I am seeing more and more of these little guys around our back door. I see them in the shrub outside the window by my desk a lot. Sometimes they crawl up the side of the house. This week when I was watering the new rose bushes I planted, I saw one on the hose. 

I love them.

They don't love me. I'm not even sure they have the capacity to love. (That is a comment on emotional and psycho-social capacity, not me trying to shame them.)

 

Carrot

The day is coming when a single carrot, freshly observed, will set off a revolution.

~ Paul Cezanne

- - - - -

I am not sure how many revolutions have been set off by carrots.

(pause)

It is one of many things I do not know.

 

Betrayal

You can't be betrayed by someone who was never on your side.

~ The Residence

- - - - -

Betrayal is such a big and heavy word. The etymology of betrayal includes the idea of treachery - another big and heavy word. And the etymology of treachery includes perfidious, yet another such word.

I have known betrayal in my life. The next time it happens to me (and it will happen again), I am going to ask the perpetrator of the betrayal what the motivation was for their treachery.

(pause)

Who am I kidding? I'm not going to do that. I'm just going to let them go. That's what I do. 

And then I'll blog about them later. That will show 'em.

 

Beer

Next to music, beer was best.

~ Carson McCullers

- - - - -

Adult beverages are fine and all, but those baby beverages are just so adorable.

Trucks

I feel more at home in my truck than just about anywhere, which is a sad thing to say, but it's true.

~ Sam Shepard

- - - - -

Leslie and I saw the Gorton's fisherman in the parking lot at the post office. In case you were wondering, he drives a small white pickup.

Thanks

~ Posted on social media

- - - - -

Sometimes - maybe most times - when someone says something accidentally it isn't what they said that was the accident, it was that they said it out loud. 

 

Ideas

The great difficulty in education is to get experience out of ideas.

~ George Santayana

- - - - -

Zak makes me see things differently. He makes me think of things differently. He makes me see the world differently. 

Usually this happens when he grabs my head and screams, "How does the world look NOW, Aunt Shel?!!" Then he'll turn my head the other way and say, "What about NOW?! Huh, Aunt Shel?!!!"

Flipped

Do not worry that your life is turning upside down. How do you know that the side you are used to is better than the one to come?

~ Rumi

- - - - -

Sometimes life gets shaken up to make room for other things. Ever have a bucket of stuff and then shake it and some of the stuff settles so there is more room in the bucket? Life is like that. It can shake you up to make room for more stuff.

Or maybe it can shake you up and make it snow. If so, then you probably live in a snow globe.

 

Bunny

He said, "You become. It takes a long time. That's why it doesn't happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except by people who don't understand.

~ Margery Williams, The Velveteen Rabbit

- - - - -

I had to look it up, but enriched bread is bread higher in fat due to more eggs, butter, and milk. Apparently, bread can also be enriched by bunnies. 

Wise

Wisdom is not a thing you can acquire for your children.

~ Ariel Lawhon

- - - - -

You can often however acquire wisdom FROM children. They are way smarter than most of us. They play with other kids better than adults function with other adults. And also they will just tell you when you are boring or you dress weird. 

(pause)

Maybe that's just me that they say that to. 

(pause)

Stupid children.

 

Special

You have the capacity to be extraordinary.

~ J. Herman Blake

- - - - -

This restaurant is gone now. It was special. There are a lot of restaurants that aren't around for very long. They all have something special about them. 

One thing that is less special and more common when it comes to those restaurants is that they are all closed now.

Window

There's a world out there. Open a window and it's there.

~ Robin Williams

- - - - -

There is world out there if the window is closed. And maybe a bunch of dead birds on the ground if the window is particularly clean.

 

Touch

I have already lost touch with a couple of people I used to be.

~ Joan Didion

- - - - -

I'm reading a lot of little posts and comments about the adult you are being someone to protect the child you were or that you should think about if the child you were would be proud of the adult you have become.

I don't know what she would think. She was pretty moody.

(pause)

Don't tell her I said that.