Fireplace

My passions have never jumped out of the fireplace and set fire to the carpet.

~ Mason Cooley

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Fireplace.

So why isn't a sink or tub a "waterplace?" 
Why isn't a closet a "clothes place?" 
Why isn't a refrigerator a "foodplace?" 
Why isn't a bank going to give me a bunch of free money?

Barn

Having been let out of the barn once, I know I wouldn't be happy if I were at home all the time.

~ Meryl Streep

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I love to drive around and take pictures.  I like to take pictures of barns.  You'd think that would be a relatively risk-free endeavor.  You can usually get a good picture of a barn just by pulling slightly off the road and taking the photo without even getting out of your car.

Well, sometimes there is more to it than that...  Like the time I pulled off and took a picture of a barn. Then as I was driving (in the middle of no where) I was being pursued.  It took me a while to know for sure that I was being followed, but when I realized that was the case, I pulled over next to a house where a guy was out mowing his yard.

The van behind me pulled up and the man and woman said, "You gonna go back and get the kittens you dumped in that barn?!"

After a brief discussion, I convinced them I was not a cat-dumper type of person.  Well, I don't know if I convinced them or not, but we concluded our dialogue.

Now, as if that wasn't strange enough, the next week I shared this story in class.  Afterward I got a message from one of the people in class that a friend of hers had a cat and kittens stolen.  She wondered if I could share where the barn was in case it was the same cat and kittens.  I shared and she said it was probably too far from where her friend had lived to be the same cat and kittens.

I could write something about curiosity and cats, but that would be cliche.

Instead, I'll share that those people who chased me around on those dirt roads freaked me out. 

I should have taken a picture of them... though I suspect that would not have deescalated the situation.

Mailboxes

My favorite review described me as the cinematic equivalent of junk mail. I don't know what that means, but it sounds like a dig.

~ Steve Buscemi

- - - - -

You might think that the dramatic increase in the number of mailbox doors that are stolen is because people aren't reporting the damage. You'd be wrong. They ARE reporting the damage, unfortunately they are doing it by sending letters and without doors on their mailboxes the letters all blow away.

Ready

The world is always ready to receive talent with open arms. Very often it does not know what to do with genius.

~ Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr.

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I saw this in South Carolina last fall. I love seeing things like this. I have never seen anything like this before, so I guess I just loved seeing this thing.

I don't think they were roadside casket-sellers, but they may have been. I wasn't ready to go up and ask for more information.

Sitting

If I had a free afternoon I would, play music, 

sit in my backyard, and drink coffee.

~ Aja Naomi King

- - - - -

Is there any such thing as a "free" afternoon? I'm not sure. Ultimately, everything comes with a cost. Especially receipts.

Ribs

Expect problems and eat them for breakfast.

~ Alfred A Montapert

- - - - -

I think "breakfast ribs" is a good idea. Who wouldn't jump out of bed in the morning if they knew they were getting ribs for breakfast?

Maybe vegans. But vegans are full of contradictions. Like carrot cake. Carrot cake isn't vegan. You probably could make it vegan somehow...  but then it wouldn't be very good carrot cake. That is, if you believe in such a things as "very good carrot cake."

I do believe in that. I also believe the "breakfast ribs" is a good idea.

Family

Family love is messy, clinging, and of an annoying and repetitive pattern, like bad wallpaper.

~ Friedrich Nietzsche

- - - - -

So I spent a day working the garage. I cleaned and organized the garage. I stained some furniture. I liked it. Well, other than my allergies. I didn't like that.

It reminded me of my dad and how he used to say, "Why don't you go clean out the garage?" And how we didn't have a garage.

Fancy

I'm not fancy. I'm what I appear to be.

~ Janet Reno

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I think that this guy serving the Past and the sandwich is fancy. In fact, the sandwich itself is kind of fancy. I hope that this guy is serving himself the fancy sandwich and the Pabst. I hope he works as a plumber or a lumberjack and he comes home at night and gets cleaned up and dressed up and serves himself a fancy sandwich and a Pabst beer.

I'd like to know what that guy's dreams are. I bet they are pretty noteworthy.

Frank

It is important to our friends to believe that we are unreservedly frank with them, and important to friendship that we are not.

~ Mignon McLaughlin

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I mostly like frank humans. But if you see someone being frank and drinking out of a huge beer holder, they are NOT a frank human. They are a frank and stein human.

Also, I mostly don't need you to be a frank human with me in terms of what you think about this post.

Radio

In radio you have two tools: sound and silence.

~ Ira Glass

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Unless it's a clock radio. Then you also have the tool of time. 

Entrance

Look on every exit as being an entrance to somewhere else.

~ Tom Stoppard

- - - - -

This sign outrages me.
I don't think the place should ban just bullies from America. We need to say no to bullies from everywhere. I'm anti-bullying on a global level.

Scary

Nothing scares me more than people with some doll collection.

~ Karl Lagerfeld

- - - - -

Really, Karl?!  REALLY??

I don't believe that for a second. While I don't enjoy dolls, and I wonder about people who collect them, there are lots of things more scary than that.

I think maybe Karl Lagerfeld is a liar.

Also... Happy birthday, Karl Lagerfeld.

Sarcastic

It's hard to find any good quotes about being sarcastic.

~ Michelle Boettcher

- - - - -

You know, you can't spell "sarcastic" without "care." Well, you can if you want to spell sarcastic right, but what's the fun in that.

Maybe I should say, "You know, you can't spell 'sarcastic' without 'scar.'"

Yep. That's about right.

Mom

Perhaps it takes courage to raise children.

~ John Steinbeck

- - - - -

My mom is a good sport. She has to be with her children. I would say it takes a lot of patience, but ye reap what ye sow, Mom. Ye sowed us. And forced us to use the pronoun "ye."

But in addition to sarcasm and practical jokes, we also do nice things for her. Like when we helped with her iPad. She was pretty grateful. I know that is true because I heard her tell someone on the phone, "They put candy something on my iPad." If that's not gratitude, I don't know what is.

It's possible I don't know exactly what gratitude is.

Army photo

Be as you wish to seem.

~ Socrates

- - - - -

Early drafts of this quote (as read in Socrates' journal):

"Be as you wish to be."

"Seem to be as you wish you were."

"If wishes were pennies, we'd all be rich."

"The old man and the seem."

"To seem or not to seem, that is the question."

"AAAAAAHHHH!  BEE!"

Learning

Everybody who is incapable of learning has taken to teaching.

~ Oscar Wilde

- - - - -

Don't worry. He's not talking about me. I learn things every day. Like quantum physics and thermodynamics. Or like electromagnetic field theory and neuroscience. I learn that those things are really hard and I should try to learn different things.

Education rocks.

Reflection

Behavior is the mirror in which everyone shows their image.

~ Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

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Leslie thinks sometimes I project my own feelings onto her when I write things. I heard the phrase "unreliable narrator" somewhere the other day and wondered if that was what she meant. 

It's hard to tell what she means when she says to me, "You're an unreliable narrator." 

Past

Time and memory are true artists; they remould reality nearer to the heart's desire.

~ John Dewey

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I see people posting all these "Post if you remember this!" things. I never do them. In fact, the other day I saw someone who put, "Post if you remember this!" with a picture of tomato soup and a grilled cheese sandwich.

I remember that.

I had it for lunch about two weeks ago.

(pause)

Why was that a thing to post?

People are so weird. It's not like tomato soup and grilled cheese sandwiches no longer exist.

Dear Everyone,

I don't understand you.

Love, Michelle

Saving

Only I can change my life. 

No one can do it for me.

~ Carol Burnett

- - - - -

We have to take responsibility for ourselves eventually. I mean, I guess we don't, but I know some people who don't and - I won't call them pathetic... I'll call them sad. They are helpless - or they think they are helpless. They get to the point where they absolutely canNOT do anything for themselves. They cry a lot. And sleep a lot. And eat a lot.

Newborn babies need to grow up and take responsibility for themselves!!!

Dog

Dogs do speak, but only to those who know how to listen.

~ Orhan Pamuk

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Pay attention.

People will show you who they are, you don't have to listen to what they say.

Which is why job interviews don't make any sense. As my brilliant friend Sara always used to say to me, "After an interview all you know about a person is whether or not they interview well."

Which is why it would be a lot easier if you had a job to hire dogs. You'd know right away if they were right for the job or not. And they'd probably be right for most all the jobs. Except those requiring opposable thumbs.