Conversation, Part I

Let us make a special effort to stop communicating with each other 

so we can have some conversation.

~ Mark Twain

- - - - -

Kirk:  Do you have cable?

Me:  No.

Kirk:  You probably wouldn't have liked my suggestion anyway...  It was to start watching Sale of the 

Century.  It's HILARIOUS!!

Me:  YOU are hilarious.

Kirk: It's true.  You are some funny as well.

Me:  I am.  Some.  How many chapters of our book have you written?  I'm looking for a career change and I'm thinking I'd be good at "renowned author."

Kirk:  Cool!!!  I like that plan!  

Me:  It's going to require a lot of travel and then more collaboration on our parts as we convert it into a Tony Award Winning Musical.

Kirk:  I can't wait to see the tap number called "Make That Ark!"

Me:  I concur.

Kirk:  I'm starting all of my writing for the summer in about two weeks.  Memorizing for this play (we open a week from Friday) is kicking my ass!!!  The show is going really great - but I've got a few bits of 2-3 pages of monologue...  it's fun...  but UGH!  Memorizing is NOT my strong suit.

Me:  I find that an easy way to memorize is to read something and then keep it in your mind forever and don't forget it.  Try it and see if it works for you.

Kirk:  Crap!  That would have saved me a ton of time.  I keep reading it and then use finger paints to describe how I feel.

     Other Actor:  How could you say something like that?

     Me:  Red swirl... is that a tornado?  Or a mouse foot?

     Other Actor:  WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?

     Me:  Is that your line???

Me:  Wow.  You so need a different acting coach.  I can do that.  Why don't you start by running stairs and then I'll yell at you and tell you what a sissy you are.  Wait that's the wrong kind of coach.

Kirk:  I've worked with choreographers like that.  

Me:  Nice.  Dancers are mean.  

Kirk:  Especially if they have tap shoes on and step on you...  a lot.

Me:  Seriously.  Have you seen "Black Swan?"

Kirk:  I HATED that movie.  I almost had to walk out.  Only movie I've ever almost thrown up in.

Me:  At the conference I attended a few weeks ago a woman spontaneously performed tap to a guy signing a song from Monty Python.  I know it sounds amazing.  And it was.

Kirk:  Like in line at dinner?  Or in an elevator?  That would be amazing.

Me:  Oh, sorry.  Neither.  At the talent show.  It might have gone over even better in an elevator, but there aren't any elevators at that conference.  And the audience would have been markedly smaller.

Kirk:  Oh.  Were you in the talent show?  What'd you do?  I would like to be in it displaying my talent to the judge.  Then I'd just get up there and talk about why all the other acts weren't as good as me...  and everyone would appreciate my feedback and I'd get the ribbon for best talented person.