I do not like you, Sabidius; I cannot say why. This only can I say: I do not like you.
~ Marcus Valerius Martial
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That is one of my favorite quotes of all time. I don't remember how I first came upon it. I know I first read it in a BOOK copy of Bartlett's Quotations. Back when books were a thing. I know they are still a thing, but back when they were the main thing that kept hold of words. Besides people.
Anyway, I don't know who Sabidius was, but I think for the quote to have lasted for about 2000 years, well, he must have been something. Of course, maybe Martial didn't like many people. I'm not sure.
I think it is interesting why people like or do not like other people. Some people like almost no one. You know those kind of people? The people who say, "Really?" when you share you like someone or enjoy their company. Or the people who say, "Hm. Well, I think he's a whack job" no matter whom you mention.
I usually first question my own ability to assess the positive qualities of others, but when I hear negative comments from someone EVERY time a mention a new person, then I begin to realize that maybe the person who is providing the negative critique might be the person with the issue.
Of course, we all value different things in other people. I appreciate humor and creativity and kindness and intelligence. I value less hoity-toityism or condescension or insecurity. Of course, I'm not sure who exactly values that, but there must be some people who value it because there are some people like that.
But others might value people who are really friendly in the morning or who are brilliant at small talk or who know a lot about child beauty pageants. Those people probably don't like me all that much because I'm not particularly friendly in the morning or good at small talk and I know virtually nothing about child beauty pageants.
The other day I walked into Sara's office and she said, "You know what I like about you?" I thought for a moment that she might comment on my integrity or my ability to build a team or my humor. Instead she said, "You don't whip out your camera every time you walk in here to take a picture of the fact that I've organized my jelly beans by color like Joe does."
(pause)
I guess that's nice, too.
