Knowing

Every man has his secret sorrows which the world knows not; 

and often times we call a man cold when he is only sad.

~ Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

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So we never really know what is going on in someone else's life. Even if they tell us, there are things that go unsaid. Even if we see things unfold, we don't know how others are making meaning of events. Even if we eavesdrop, we don't know how what is said affects other people. Even if we watch people in secret when they don't know we're there, we don't know what is happening because we're too worried about getting caught.