Flexible

Ultimately spiritual awareness unfolds when you're flexible, when you're spontaneous, when you're easy on yourself and easy on others.

~ Deepak Chopra

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I try to respect other people's time. I have a lot of flexibility in my time, but I know not everyone does. That said, sometimes I make mistakes. When I make mistakes, I try to make apologies if my errors affect others.
For example...
Me: (texting) Sorry. I am late for our meeting.
Amber: You mean late for our meeting next Monday?

Me: (long pause) Maybe. Let's wait and see.

Self

There is only one corner of the universe you can be certain of improving and that's your own self.

~ Aldous Huxley

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I beg to differ, Aldous Huxley. No. That's not right. I differ, Aldous Huxley. 

I think if you have a small bookcase in the corner of your home and it is cluttered or broken, you can work to improve it. So you can also be certain of improving your own shelf.

Friends

A beautiful plant is like having a friend around the house.

~ Beth Ditto

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This is so true! You shower both a plant and a friend with care, conversation, and occasionally with water. Well, I'm not saying you should bathe your friend (of course I'm in no position to judge your friendships). What I meant is that every once in a while it's good to dump a cup of water on your friend because they need to go home so you can have your couch back.

Bubble

Well, we can't all come and go by bubble!

~ Elphaba

- - - - -
A lot of people don't know that Bert and Ernie and Baby Ernie are witches just like Glinda in the Wizard of Oz, but they are. But no one every figured out if they were good witches or bad witches. (Hint: Bert was a bad witch. Ernies were good witches. Note: That is a really clear and helpful hint.)

Sit

People who work sitting down get paid more than people who work standing up.

~ Ogden Nash

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I mostly agree with this quote. However, I also think there are people who stand up and bark orders at people sitting down. I'm not convinced we need those people. And think of what we could do by repurposing all the money they get paid. 

Time

Time is what keeps everything from happening at once.

~ Ray Cummings

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Time is a limited resource for all of us. The thing is, we never know for sure how much time we have left. Like toothpaste. You might thing you're at the end of the tube but then all of a sudden - WHOA - where'd that additional toothpaste come from? You thought you were done for with that one tube, but you're not.

Also like time toothpaste can be thought of in tenses - toothfuture, toothpresent, and toothpast.

Mostly that last one happens when you have a typo.

Party

It's not about going to a party. It's life as a party.

~ Diane Von Furstenburg

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I am going to write a story about a woman named Loretta. She is a fun-loving gal who hopes to settle down, but keeps getting herself into trouble. Every time she meets a nice fella (because gals and fellas go together before they get married) and they get engaged, she gets in trouble. Usually it is very close to the wedding. Usually a few nights before the wedding when she's celebrating the last of her single days with her friends. She has a bit to drink. She makes bad choices. Her fella calls off the wedding as a result.

The title of the story is "The BacheLoretta Parties."

(pause)

You'd totally read that story. You know you would.

Thinking

Stop thinking and end your problems.

~ Lao Tzu

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I like Zak. I wonder what he was thinking here.

Zak: (thinking) Obla di, obla dah, life goes onnnnn - yeah! La la la la la la laaaa.

I was thinking two things: First, The word Zaktually is a great made up word. "Did Zak just do a belly flop on the shrub in the backyard when I specifically told him to stay away from the plants?" "Zaktually, that's exactly what he did." Second, I wonder what that girl in the background is thinking.

Girl in the background: This french fry is delicious. I'm not sharing my fries with anyone. Not mimaw or peepaw or mom or dad or that table over there. My fries. I love them. Not as much as I love this beautiful skirt, but I love them nonetheless. Well, like I said, less than this skirt, but MMMMM fries!

Days

This is a wonderful day. I've never seen one like this before.

~ Maya Angelou

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When I was a kid, I remember that there were "good days" and "bad days." I don't remember that there were good things and bad things that happened. I guess I painted the world with a pretty broad brush then.

Like the "bad day" I painted the side of the house with a broad brush and purple paint.

Spirits

The jealous are possessed by a mad devil and a dull spirit at the same time.

~ Johann Kaspar Lavater

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Overheard...

Bartender: Does "diablo" mean devil?

Guy at the bar: Yes. 

(pause)

Guy at the bar: Why?

Bartender: Because I had some "diablo sauce" today and it tasted like the devil.

Guy at the bar: Well, it'll probably feel like the devil tomorrow, too.

Tree

I like trees because they seem more resigned to the way they have to live than other things do.

~ Willa Cather

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I like to try and celebrate things I do well each day. Some days I have pretty significant achievements. Most days I celebrate things like, "Today I was good at throwing sticks in a pile."

(Yes, that is a real thing I celebrated the day I was good at it.)

Place

Where you come from is gone, where you thought you were going was never there, 

and where you are is no good unless you can get away from it. Where is there 

a place for you to be? No place... Nothing outside of you can give you any place... 

In your place right now is all the place you've got.

~ Flannery O'Connor

- - - - -

What is the difference between "be in the moment right now" or "be fully present" and "know your place" or "stay"?

Mostly the spelling, I think.

Mail

Having a big gay following, I get a lot of hate mail and threats. Some people are blind or ignorant, and you can't be that prejudiced and hateful and go through this world and still be happy.

~ Dolly Parton

- - - - -

I bet there was a lot less hate mail before email. Typing can be a pretty mindless thing, but sit down and actually write. And THEN to have to put an address and a stamp on something instead of just hitting send. And THEN to have to get up and physically go and put something in a mailbox.  Well, if you send the letter...  still, that's a lot of hate. A hate paper letter was probably scarier than a hate email (depending on what was written).

Haters these day are lazy.

Also, who could hate Dolly Parton.

Jerks.

Lying

I lie to myself all the time, but I never believe me.

~ S. E. Hinton

- - - - -

I lie sometimes. Sometimes it amuses me. Sometimes it's just easier than telling the truth. Sometimes it just happens and I don't really think about it.

Like when I type "LOL" to someone. Rarely if ever - maybe never am I actually laughing out loud.

(pause)

I should start typing CQ2S instead for "chuckling quietly to myself." 
Or LALOL2MUH for "lying about laughing out loud to make you happy."
Or LAL for "lying about laughing."

(pause)

Nah. LAL is also Leslie's initials.

I'll probably just keeping typing LOL.

Groceries

I went down the street to the 24-hour grocery. When I got there the guy was locking the front door. I said, "Hey, the sign says you're open 24 hours." He said, "Yes, but not in a row."

~ Steven Wright

- - - - -

Our yard backs up to a grocery store. Not the grocery store in this photo. That one looked kind of abandoned.

My point is that we can smell what they are making at the deli in our backyard grocery store. Sometimes it's fried chicken. Sometimes it's ham. When it's ham, it reminds me of Grandma Boettchers. She never made ham, she WAS a ham.

If you had known my Grandma Boettcher, you'd know how funny that is because she wasn't a ham at all. My Grandma Hamlin on the other hand... 

Again, if you knew that my other grandma actually was named Hamlin, you'd realize how hilarious this post is. 

I guess this particular entry is for a pretty specific audience.

(pause)

Quit pouting. You're fine. You'll understand most of the rest of them. Maybe.

Playing

A toy is seen as both a bauble and an intellectual machine.

~ Brian Sutton-Smith

- - - - -

Zak has some good toys. One of them is a rocking horse. But he seem to like playing like he is driving. I wonder if there is something very much like a rocking horse that also involves driving something very much like a car.

Something like a "rocking hearse." I think Zak would like to play with one of those.

Up

Those who think of freedom in this country as one long, broad path leading ever onward and upward are dead damned wrong.

~ Molly Ivins

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The other night / a few months ago Leslie and I went to see Ranky Tank on campus. They were great.

There were a lot of older people there and as we were leaving after the concert, I was behind a 120-year-old man and his 115-year-old friends. They had to go up a hill to where they had parked. One of the 115-year-old friends turned to the 120 year old man and said, "If you can't walk up this hill to the parking lot, just run up it instead."

Teacher

The true teacher defends his pupils against his own personal influence. He inspires self-distrust. He guides their eyes from himself to the spirit that quickens him. He will have no disciple. 

~ Amos Bronson Alcott

- - - - -

A false teacher guides students to himself and indoctrinates his pupils with his own beliefs.

A true false teacher gives the exams that many students like the best.

Pillar

Hope is the pillar that holds up the world. Hope is the dream of a waking man.

~ Pliny the Elder

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I don't think you should put people on a pillar. At least when I tried to do that in the grocery store parking lot the people squawked at me to let go of them. And they didn't seem to like my pillar of old magazines, either.

Journaling

Keep a notebook. Travel with it, eat with it, sleep with it. Slap into it every stray thought that flutters into your brain.

~ Jack London

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I like to journal. I don't always do it every day. I don't always do it in legible handwriting. But when I do journal, I find I am either capturing or creating. Ultimately for me, the things captured are captured only to be used creatively in the future.

Unless I had a trap set for burglars and I captured them. I would give them to the police. 

(pause)

And then I'd write a story about that. So I guess, yeah, even the experience of capturing burglars is something I would use creatively in the future. Mainly in marketing for my burglar traps.

Waiting

Don't worry that children never listen to you; worry that they are always watching you.

~ Robert Fulghum

- - - - -

Maybe worry when they don't listen when you scream, "Quit staring at me!"

But in that case, worry about yourself because - why are you screaming like that?

Freak

"There is nothing to talk about," she said. "I'm just a freak, that's all."

~ Stieg Larson

- - - - -

I like the word freak. I guess it probably has negative connotations. I just think of it as something outside of the norm. And given the state of the norm these days, I don't see how that is a bad thing.

Beauty

Let us live for the beauty of our own reality.

~ Charles Lamb

- - - - -

Look for beauty in the world every day. It is almost always there. Some days you have to look a little harder than others - but often that might be because of you, not because of your surroundings.

Unless you're in a dungeon or a pig sewage lagoon. Then it might be because of your surroundings. 

Doll

Of with their heads!

~ Lewis Carroll

- - - - -

I just had an idea. If you took a bunch of doll heads and attached them to a piece of wood as wide as your bed and mounted it at the head of your bed, you'd have a literal HEADboard.

Also, I would never, ever, ever come visit you.

Sunset

The best things in life are free. The second best things in are very, very expensive.

~ Coco Chanel

- - - - -

The third best things in life are pretty expensive too, but sometimes you can find them on sale.

Watches

By the 1930s, wristwatches were the norm and the pocket watch was an anachronism. Time itself had become a human appendage.

~ Derek Thompson

- - - - -

When I first saw this, I thought it said, "Smokey says please do not play with watches." I thought, "Don't play with watches??" Then I thought, "Is the punctuation right on that sign?" And then I thought, "I'm cold. I should start a playful fire."

Games

Life is more fun if you play games.

~ Roald Dahl

- - - - -

I like games. Beyond Balderdash is my all time favorite of all time. I love it.

I also like Words with Friends. 

I would probably like less a game called "Swords with Friends."

Singing

Birds will always sing a song for those that they love.

~ Anthony T. Hicks

- - - - -

The other day I was in my office at work. Two students walked by - maybe 20 minutes apart. Each of them was singing, "Stacey's mom has got it going on..." I have to think that a teacher must have used it in class. That song is from 2003. The students were maybe 4 or 5 then. 

If it was just a coincidence, that is very strange.

And if it was a message from the university, what does it mean?

HA!  I meant to type "message from the universe" but I typed "university."

(pause)

Wait. Now what do you suppose THAT means?

Everything is a mystery. Especially if you don't really try very hard to figure things out.

Looking

There is nothing like looking, if you want to find something.

~ J. R. R. Tolkein

- - - - 

You know that saying about not looking a gift horse in the mouth? Well, that is only one in a series of sayings. Others include:

Don't look a gift dog in the eye.
Don't look a gift fish in the ear.
Don't look a gift chicken in the anus.

Sure, these sayings are less well-known, yet they each carry their own important message.

Jump

Those who don't jump will never fly.

~ Leena Ahmad Almashat

- - - - -

Why is it a "trampoline" and not a "jumpoline"?

Laughter

I love people who make me laugh. I honestly think it's the thing I like most, to laugh. It cures a multitude of ills. It's probably the most important thing in a person.

~ Audrey Hepburn

- - - - -

Leslie: (talking, talking, talking... laughing, laughing, laughing)

Me: . . .

Leslie: You didn't get it. I made a joke.

Me: I understood the words that you said.

Leslie: (stops laughing). You're so un-sense-of-humory! (starts laughing again).

Me: . . .  Yep. . . .  That's me.

Leslie: (still laughing) I'm funny!!