Trampolines

If I ever opened a trampoline store, I don't think I'd call it Trampo-Land, because you might think it was a store for tramps, which is not the impression we are trying to convey with our store. On the other hand, we would not prohibit tramps from browsing, or testing the trampolines, unless a tramp's gyrations seemed to be getting out of control.

~ Jack Handey

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So, you might think that laying on a trampoline while people jump so that you can get a photo is a good idea. Well, you can get some good photos -- you just have to take a million to get things in focus. But, all in all, it is a BAD idea to do this. Because then you feel like you're going to puke when you're done.

That's how I feel right now.

Unexpected

If you do not expect the unexpected, you will not find it; for it is hard to be sought out and difficult.

~ Heraclitus

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I once heard a comedian say that he practiced "Zen Driving" and just assumed the person in front of him was going where he needed to be. That sums up my day off today. I didn't follow anyone, but took roads from one small town to another. I got lost at one point, but had a general idea of where I needed to go. I also happened to have an atlas, which was helpful.

Plus, in Iowa, you can usually see the next town on the horizon because there's not a lot to block the view.

When I go driving, I find very random things. Like all these shoes / boots on the fence posts. I don't know why they were there, how long they'd been there, etc. But there were hundreds of boots and shoes. I don't know if I'd prefer to know the real story behind this display or if I'd rather make up my own.

(Pause)

Make up my own. I just decided.

Trash

Trash has given us an appetite for art.

~ Pauline Kael

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One of my favorite things in the world is when the big dumpsters show up outside of residence halls at the end of spring semester. It reminds me that students who arrived in the fall are leaving different people than when they walked onto campus. It's not that I want them to leave forever -- not at all. And it is interesting to see what all they managed to make fit in their residence hall rooms or apartments or whatever. If it is TOO interesting -- like a giant plastic tub full of 'shrooms someone was growing, well, then we call the police.

Tires

Folks still remember the day ole Bob Riley came bouncing down that dirt road in his pickup. Pretty soon, it was bouncing higher and higher. The tires popped, and the shocks broke, but that truck kept bouncing. Some say it bounced clean over the moon, but whoever says that is a goddamn liar.

~ Jack Handey

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So, I have a lot of quirks. Two of them relate to driving and music on the radio. If a Phil Collins song comes on the radio, it is imperative that the station not be changed (yes, in case you wondering, this also applies to the group Genesis). Why? Because I have had two flat tires in my life. Both of them happened immediately after I changed the radio from a Phil Collins song.

The second music driving quirk is that if Whitney Houston comes on, you must change the radio immediately. This is because every care accident I've had (except for the random flat tire) has occurred while Whitney Houston was singing on the radio.

Cookies

Think what a better world it would be if we all, the whole world,

had cookies and milk about three o'clock every afternoon and then

lay down on our blankets for a nap.

~ Barbara Jordan

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When we lived in the residence halls and the girls were in Girl Scouts, they outsold the rest of their troops by a LOT. The most they sold was the year Maddie sold 500+ boxes and Elizabeth sold about 300 boxes. You can see those cookies on display here.

You'd think we would have been proud of them and excited for them. We were at the time of the selling, but when it came to distributing and collecting the money... Well, let's just say they aren't in Girl Scouts anymore.

Vacation

If we would only give, just once, the same amount of reflection to what we want to get out of life that we give to the question of what to do with a two weeks' vacation, we would be startled at our false standards and the aimless procession of our busy days.

~ Dorothy Canfield Fisher

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Every once in a while I will take a day off just to go out and take pictures. I've always gone by myself -- or maybe with Ripley -- and just wandered around. My favorite times of the year are in the fall and spring.

It's amazing how much energy I get from that.

Sometimes, though, there is stress that comes along with the adventure. Last Monday I took the day off and went to a few small towns around here. Sometimes I see things I want to photograph, but I worry about getting too close for fear that someone will freak out. These are a couple of images of someone's garage doors. They're really cool, but it was the kind of house where you thought it best not to trespass.

Farming

Writing is conscience, scruple, and the farming of our ancestors.

~ Edward Dahlberg

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I remember at a staff training one time we were sharing things about ourselves so we could get to know one another better because if you know people better you work better with them. Unless they're bad people, then you don't want to work with them at all.

Anyway, I don't remember where this training was happening, but I remember sharing that I wished I was a farmer because I really respect farmers. And one of my favorite things is to see a tractor at work in the fields at night. Then I decided instead of becoming a farmer, I could just save up my money and buy a tractor and drive it at night.

Cold

Honesty is like an icicle; if once it melts that is the end of it.

~ American Proverb

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I don't like the heat. I'd rather it was cold all the time. When things get hot, everything is revealed, but when it's freezing, things stay concealed.

Random

Fame does not always light at random, sometimes she chooses her man.

~ Seneca

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When I was in college and used to go to Iowa City to visit friends, there was a soda machine behind one of their apartment complexes. It had a variety of beverages. My favorite, though, was the button labeled "random." I don't know if anyone who ever tried it.

That machine was located in the parking lot where we were pretty sure we heard someone either slaughtering or fighting chickens one time, too.

Fishing

I love fishing. You put that line in the water and

you don't know what's on the other end.

Your imagination is under there.

~Robert Altman

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This is the dock where I caught a fish that, while I was reeling it in, was bitten by another fish. I almost was able to get them both in, but the bigger fish let go at the last second.

There are not photos which capture that experience.

There also were no witnesses besides the person doing the fishing.

I think that's the way fishing is supposed to be, though. The best stories only have one witness. Unless you count the fish.

Babies

An ugly baby is a very nasty object - and the prettiest is frightful.

~ Queen Victoria

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I am not so much worried about Elizabeth adopting 17 children from all around the world. I am, however, worried, that they will come to live with us.

Okay, and if even one of them looks like the baby in this photo, I would be worried about that, too.

Opportunities

We are all faced with a series of great opportunities brilliantly disguised as impossible situations.

~ Charles R. Swindoll

So, Maddie stood around waiting and waiting to get her photo with Hillary Clinton at this event at ISU. She was very patient and several people probably cut in front of her. Finally, I said, just go up and stand NEAR her and smile and I'll take your photo. And Maddie did! Sometimes she won't do things like that because she gets embarrassed. I'm proud that she did it that time, though.

And, this is Maddie's mom pretending to be a secret service agent.

Confidence

There are admirable potentialities in every human being.

Believe in your strength and your youth. Learn to repeat endlessly to yourself,

'It all depends on me.'"

~ Andre Gide

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A couple of summers ago, I was driving Elizabeth to a judo tournament for Iowa Games. She was humming to herself. At first, I thought, "That's good. She's not too stressed about the match." Then I realized she was humming the Darth Vader theme and I thought, "Her opponent better watch out."

Doors

I think people tend to live, whether they like it or not, influenced by what's next door to them.

~ Campbell Scott

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I like doors and windows. I find, however, that people are more comfortable with you taking pictures of their doors than they are with you going up to their windows with a camera in your hand.

Mail

Letters are among the most significant memorial a person can leave behind them.

~Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

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You go into a letter all alone. Maybe with your friend in mind as you write, but the trip is just yours. It's a chance to tell your version of the facts and to create a document substantiating said facts.

Email is better than a phone call (to me), but it's still interactive. I think I most enjoy letters because I go uninterrupted in the storytelling -- though occasionally interrupted in the writing.

I wrote two letters a few weeks ago. I used to write letters all the time. I need to go back to that. I'm sure people are anxiously awaiting what I have to say to them -- and just to them.

Music

My music is best understood by children and animals.
~ Igor Stravinsky

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Songs in my head from the past few months (because I know you're dying to see the complete list):

January
4: Battlefield by Jordin Sparks
5: Knock you Down by keri Hilson featuring Ne-Yo and Kanye West
7: Love on a Hot Afternoon by Gene Watson
8: White Christmas by Bing Crosby
9: Get Here by Oleta Adams
10: Be Italian by Fergie
11: Cinema Italiano by Kate Hudson
13: Somebody's Cryin' by Chris Isaak
17: It's Gonna Be by Norah Jones
25: I Want You Back by Sonos
26: It's So hard to Say Goodbye to Yesterday by Boyz II Men
27: You belong to Me by Taylor Swift

February
1: If you Only Knew by Shindown
6: King Herod's Song from Jesus Christ Superstar

Then there was a gap because I thought maybe people were annoyed with my morning song postings. My friend Matt Bennett asked me where the songs had gone and I said I would resume posting them as a belated birthday present for him.

14: I am Human by Dione Farris
15: Mama, I'm Coming Home by Ozzy
16: Do You Remember by Sean John
17: Aqualung by Jethro Tull
18: It's a Sunshine Day by The Brady Bunch
19: Hound Dog by Big Mama Thornton
20: Ring of Fire by The Carter Family
21: Quinn the Eskimo by Julie London
22: Replay by IYAZ featuring Sean Kingston
23: I am 16 Going on 17 from The Sound of Music
24: Pac Man theme music (NOT Pac Man Fever)
25: Wonder by Natalie Merchant
26: Paparazzi by Lady Gaga
27: Toxic by Brittney Spears
28: The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face by Roberta Flack

March
1: Wednesday Morning, 3 A.M. by Simon and Garfunkel
2: Bad Romance by Lady Gaga
3: According to you by Orianthi
4: Doo Wah Diddy by Manfred Mann
5: Bad Romance by Lady Gaga
6: Gagnsta's Paradise by Coolio
7: Mr Big stuff by Jean Knight
8: C'mon and Ride It (The Train) by Quad City DJs
9: Time in a Bottle by Jim Croce
11: Walk on By by Dionne Warwick
12: Theme from The Office
13: If You Ain't Got the Do Re Mi by Ani Difranco
14: When Something is Wrong with my Baby by Sam and Dave
15: Oh What a Beautiful Mornin' from Oklahoma
16: Freedom by Wham
17: Rock Around the Clock by Bill Haley and the Comets
18: Home is Where Your Heart Is by Billy Bacon and the Forbidden Pigs
19: I Love You by The Plain White Ts
21: Kathy's song By Simon and Garfunkel
22: Soul Sister by Train
23: If you've Got Leavin' on Your Mind by Patsy Cline
24: Crazy for You by Heart
25: It's Sad to Belong to Someone Else by England Dan and John Ford
26: Mercy by Duffy
27: Am I the Only One by the Dixie Chicks
28: I Love How You Love Me by Bobby Vinton
29: I can't Help Falling in Love by Ingrid Michaelson
30: If You Only Knew by Shinedown
31: The Hy-Vee jingle

April
1: Be Good Johnny by Men at Work
2: Time is on My Side by The Rolling Stones
3: Hide and Seek by Imogene Heap
4: Burning Heart by Survivor
5: Why by Annie Lennox
6: Realize by Colbie Callait
7: Runaway Train by Soul Asylum
8: Theme song from Three's Company
9: Chains of Love by erasure
10: Sweet Caroline by Neil Diamond
11: Somebody to Love by Queen
12: A medley I made up in my head of Under the Sea and We are the World

Special

(Photo by Chris Fowler)

"Never neglect the little things. Never skimp on that extra effort, that additional few minutes, that soft word of praise or thanks, that delivery of the very best that you can do. It does not matter what other think, it is of prime importance, however, what you think about you. You can never do your best, which should always be your trademark, if you are cutting corners and shirking responsibilities. You are special. Act it. Never neglect the little things."

~ Og Mandino

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This photo was when E was "Person of the Day" (noted on the bulletin board in the background) in maybe 2nd or 3rd grade and got to bring a special person. She chose Maddie. If that were to happen again today, my guess is that Elizabeth might choose to bring the cat or a special piece of glass she found.

You will note, that though Maddie is wearing the crown, E is the one who is very aware of where the camera is...

Mother

My mother used to say that there are no strangers, only friends you haven't met yet. She's now in a maximum security twilight home in Australia.

~ Dame Edna Everage

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Chris is a great mom. She has fun with her kids, teaches them to be responsible, role models for them how to be strong and confident, and so on and so forth...

When I first met Chris and the girls, however, I was concerned when Elizabeth was doing what Elizabeth does and Chris yelled, "I'M GOING TO CRUSH YOUR SKULL!!!"

I would have been more afraid except that Elizabeth just laughed and trotted down the hallway.

Driving

Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth.

~ Erma Bombeck

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A few years ago when we were at World's of Fun and Maddie was driving the old time cars, it was kind of funny. She kept hitting the tracks and not steering well and being fastslow with the gas. We laughed.

Now that she has a learner's permit... Well, it was funnier back then.

Sisters

Fidelity is the sister of justice.

~ Horace

Foolishness is indeed the sister of wickedness.

~ Sophocles

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And, apparently, disgust is the sister of hilarity.

Sad

I like everything perfect. Everything has to be neat. My sister is 5, and she's more messy than I am. I make my bed every morning, everything's perfect.

My shoes are all arranged. It's sad.

~ Dakota Fanning

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Everyone is sad sometimes. But sometimes sad and funny overlap. Like this photo. Funny, sad, and then funny again.

My favorite part is that Elizabeth only has on one sock. Little known fact, she wakes up EVERY morning with only one sock.

Introverts

For an introvert his environment is himself and can never be subject

to startling or unforeseen change.

~ Quentin Crisp

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Chris thinks it is odd that I have a blog and post so much to facebook when I can sit face-to-face with someone and not say anything at all. I don't think it's odd. I think it makes sense because most of what I say or think is really just for my own amusement, anyway.

Trampoline

"No matter how far life pushes you down, no matter how much you hurt,

you can always bounce back."

~ Sheryl Swoopes

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So, the day after Thanksgiving, we got up at 3 a.m. to buy a trampoline. You will be shocked to find out that there was not a huge rush on trampolines in late November in Iowa.

We "hid" the trampoline in the garage under a green tarp from November until April. The girls didn't look under the tarp. We didn't tell them NOT to (or they would have). They are remarkably uncurious about things in the garage.

On Easter Sunday, Chris came home from her mom and dad's and we showed the girls the trampoline box. They were very excited. Then, it was getting late, so they had to go to bed.

It rained for two days and we were not able to put up the trampoline.

On the next day, Chris and I came home from work and Elizabeth had cleaned the house. Elizabeth then asked very nicely if we could put together the trampoline. There were storm warnings and wind advisories, but it was impossible to say no since she had tried so hard to get everything ready.

It's a lot easier to put together a trampoline than you might think.

Chris: Elizabeth, I want to tell you a story about a little girl who always wanted a trampoline, but never got one. Even though she wanted one SO MUCH.

Elizabeth: Was that little girl YOU, Mama?

Chris: YES, Elizabeth!! YES it WAS ME! And now we have trampoline all our own!

Holiday

If I make a fool of myself, who cares?
I'm not frightened by anyone's perception of me.
~ Angelina Jolie

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April Fool's Day is my second favorite holiday.

One year I used a straw to remove the jelly from a jelly doughnut at our house. I then refilled it with mustard.

Another year, I removed all the labels from the cans in my mom's kitchen cupboards and switched them around. Think you're having corn for dinner? NO! You're having sauerkraut! Want some green beans? TOO BAD! You get peaches!

This morning we were talking about tricks to play. I left a list of chores for Maddie (who had already gone to school). The list included the following:

* vacuum the entire upstairs
* sweep and mop the kitchen floor
* sweep the bedrooms
* vacuum the stairs
* vacuum the basement
* pick up all the dog poop in the back yard
* finish the laundry and fold it all

I also left a list for Elizabeth that said:

* have a snack
* clean your room (it's ALWAYS clean)
* organize some things on the new computer
* dust the living room

I did put a note at the bottom of Maddie's list that said "OVER -->." On the other side it said, "April Fool's!"

Elizabeth didn't want me to write "over" on the sheet. She thought it would be funny if Maddie found out it was a joke after all the chores were done. Chris and I disagreed.

I also told Elizabeth she should get the rubber rat in the rat trap we have in the basement and put it in Maddie's bed. (Why do we have a rubber rat in a rat trip in the basement? In case we need it for days like today.)

Elizabeth said, "It would be funnier if we got a real rat, killed it, and put it in her bed!"

I am afraid I may have created a monster.

I am also afraid to go home tonight.

Signs

I take a very practical view of raising children. I put a sign

in each of their rooms: "Check out Time is 18 years."

~ Erma Bombeck

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The other day we were driving down the road and we drove past a shop called "Sign Pro." There were two police cars parked in the lot. Chris said, "Wow! I wonder what happened at Sign Pro. Maybe somebody got fired and has to be personally escorted from the premises."

Elizabeth responded, "Or maybe a police officer needs to buy a sign."

I shared the story in a meeting that included police officers yesterday. Elizabeth was right.

Catten

"The problem with cats is that they get the same exact look whether they see a moth or an axe-murderer."

~ Paula Poundstone

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Elizabeth has written a song for Neko. It has two verses:

Oh, Catten,

OH, CATTEN!

She's-a-comin'-for-you

She's gonna bite you.

Oh, Catten,

OH, CATTEN!

She's-a-comin'-for-me

She loves me.

I'm not sure if you can tell or not, but Chris is asleep in the bed above. Or at least trying to sleep.

Easter

Sitting quietly, doing nothing, spring comes, and the grass grows by itself.

~ Zen Proverb

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Elizabeth: Why is it that Easter bunnies lay eggs when real bunnies don't lay eggs, they have live bunnies?

Chris: (pausing) Michelle?

Michelle: Well, I think it's because both bunnies and eggs represent spring...

Chris: Just as Christ --

Maddie: Jesus.

Chris: What?

Maddie: His name was Jesus, not Justice.

Wealth

You have the Answer. Just get quiet enough to hear it.

~Pat Obuchowski

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The above image is a self-portrait Maddie made on a recent road trip. I like seeing these kinds of things in my world. I also like seeing money on the ground, but let's face it, I'm not getting rich that way.

Help

If you can, help others; if you cannot do that, at least do not harm them.

~ HH the Dalai Lama

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Maddie is a helper. She tries to help other kids when she sees problems. She has even become an advocate for her sister. The other day E was having problems with a kid at school and Maddie said, "Tell her if she doesn't knock it off, she'll have ME to deal with."

Maddie has come a long way from when a friend of hers would kick Elizabeth while they rode the bus to day care and Maddie didn't say a word.

Chaos

Living in continual chaos is exhausting, frightening.

The catch is that it's also very addictive.

~ Lorna Luft

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Elizabeth: Did Maddie come in and tell on me?

Me: No. Should she have?

Elizabeth: Oh, no... She just told me she was going to.

Travel

I never travel without my diary.

One should always have something sensational to read in the train.

~ Oscar Wilde

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Maddie: Oh my gosh! Next year Marissa is going to the Bahamas! She asked her mom if I could go with, but her mom said no. I don't know why.

Elizabeth: Americans aren't allowed in Cuba. Cubanadians... Cubanese? Whatever they're called, they don't want us there.

Swimming

If my critics saw me walking over the Thames, they would say it was because I couldn't swim.

~ Margaret Thatcher

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Elizabeth (re: swim practice): Sometimes she [swim coach] says we're gonna play a little game. Only I don't call it a game. I call it torture.

Cars

Never have more children than you have car windows.

~ Erma Bombeck

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Elizabeth: Bella doesn't like the smell of new cars and her family got a new car and the first day she threw up in it. And Anna and I could not quit laughing at that story.

Presidency

Anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job.

~ Douglas Adams

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I was helping Elizabeth with her social studies the other day. She was learning about the branches of government. She kept calling one "the exclusive branch." I laughed every time she said it and corrected her saying it is called the executive branch. Then I realized, she was right all along.

Food

Food is an important part of a balanced diet.

~ Fran Lebowitz

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I saw the title of an article on a magazine the other day. It was called, "Your Inner Foodie." And I wondered if that isn't just another name for your stomach.

Animals

"Being asked what animal you'd like to be is a trick question. You're already an animal."

~ Doug Coupland

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When we were in Chicago this week, I was asked about 14 times if I had a moment to sign a petition about animal rights. I told Chris I should have said, "Wait, let me get a pen from my leather satchel and write on a piece of dogbone paper how supportive of animal rights I am. Also, would you like a sip of my kitten smoothie?"

Scared

The darkest hour only has 60 minutes.

~ Morris Mandel

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I freak myself out sometimes. At night, if my mind wanders, I'll be afraid of ghosts or aliens - more aliens who are going to come and take me into outerspace.

By far, however, the thing that has freaked me out more than any other thing is watching "America's Most Wanted." I am always afraid that I'll be watching that show, I'll look at my window and the person who is most wanted will be standing there and they will have to kill me because I saw them on "America's Most Wanted." Even when I lived on the 11th floor of a building in Cincinnati, I was afraid of that.

I quit watching that show. That seemed to help.

Hope

Hold fast to dreams,

For if dreams die,

Life is a broken-winged bird,

That cannot fly.

Hold fast to dreams,

For if dreams go,

Life is a barren field,

Frozen with snow.

~ Langston Hughes

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I hope that this summer it gets to be really hot. And I hope that I remember how much I hated this winter. And I hope that I can grow to love the mud-colored grass that is slowly creeping out from under the snow drifts. And also, I hope the fact that Elizabeth LOVES the taste of bourbon-flavored sunflower seeds is random and not foreshadowing.