Down

Syllables govern the world.

~ George Bernard Shaw

- - - - -

When Aurora was the age she was in this photo she would say, "Down?" when she wanted to ask you to pick her up. I don't know why. Some sort of mind game, I think. She was probably trying to make me think that I had learned language all wrong.

Well, the joke's on her because she's wearing pajamas outside.

Leaf

We may just be two different clocks that do not tock in unison.

~ Lang Leav

- - - - -

When I was writing this and looked for a quote to go with this photo, I accidentally typed "leav quotes" instead of "leaf quotes." This was one of the quotes I read. I like it. I mean, maybe it is sad if these two want to tock in unison, but it's hard to hear the other person if you're tocking over one another. I could go on, but I think I'll just leaf it at that.

Hog

A traveler must have the back of an ass to bear all, a tongue like the tail of a dog to flatter all, the mouth of a hog to eat what is set before him, the ear of a merchant to hear all and say nothing.

~ Thomas Nashe

- - - - -

In preparing this blog, I expected to find tons of quotes about hogs. There were a few, but not nearly as many as I expected. Maybe it's because I'm from Iowa where we talk about hogs a lot. Maybe it's because I just always expect to have lots of quotes to choose from. Maybe it's because I just am accustomed to finding what I expect to find because my expectations are right so often.

Regardless, I traveled to the Bridges of Madison County and saw this bridge. Then I found a quote about traveling and hogs. And now my work here is done.

The moral of this post: Lower your expectations and you can always exceed them.

Dali

There are some days when I think I'm going to die from an overdose of satisfaction.

~ Salvador Dali

- - - - -

If you take a pin and shove it into a melting clock, does it send a shooting pain through everyone's memories?

Probably only if it's a voodoo Dali.

(pause)

I'm sorry.

Idea

An idea isn't responsible for the people who believe in it.

~ Don Marquis

- - - - -
I like carnival things - rides, lights, the awful prizes you can't win at the rigged games. I think a good carnival food would be "Unicandycorn" because unicorns and candy corn are both sort of festival-ly and carnival-ly things. 

I would avoid the "Unicandycorn" stand because 1. I don't like candy corn and 2. I would be willing to bet there would be some glitter around there.

On second thought, maybe I don't think this is such a good idea. Or maybe it's a good idea and needs to stay just an idea instead of becoming a reality.

Work

There is no substitute for hard work.

~ Thomas Edison

- - - - -

I disagree with Thomas Edison on this. There are lots of substitutes for hard work. Examples include: naps, half-assed work, daydreaming, etc.

I overheard a guy say one time, "My buddy - he's hard core unemployed." I don't know what that means, but it sounds like hard work just the kind without a job.

Plus I think Edison himself would say that hard work can be replaced with stealing other people's ideas (allegedly). Though, in all fairness, stealing other people's ideas is probably hard work, too.

Words

A word after a word after a word is power.

~ Margaret Atwood

- - - - -

The other day I was driving home from class and I heard an interview. I don't remember what the topic was. Or the speaker. Or the show. I remember it was on the radio, that is it. 

Anyway, one of the people being interviewed was talking and he said the word "exasturbates."

You might think that words are funny. But what is really funny is people using words.

Food

Humor keeps us alive. Humor and food. Don't forget food. You can go a week without laughing.

~ Joss Whedon

- - - - -

It's interesting to me how we associate different foods with different parts of life. Salt water taffy = trips to the beach. Hot boiled p-nuts = trips to the south. Pecan and pumpkin pie = holidays. 

And chicken soup = feeling better. But why? Why is it Chicken Soup for the Soul instead of Pizza Rolls for the soul? I bet my brother Kirk really wonders about that. 

As do we all.

Candy

Life is made up of a great number of small incidents and a small number of great ones.

~ Roald Dahl

- - - - -

Last year for Halloween Aurora chose only red and orange candies. This resulted in no Milky Ways for Aurora's mom. Is it a coincidence that one of Aurora's dad's favorite candies is Reese's Peanut Butter Cups which happen to come in an orange wrapper? Or is it the result of hours of training?

We may never know.

Beer

Let a man walk ten miles steadily on a hot summer's day along a dusty English road, and he will soon discover why beer was invented.

~ Gilbert K. Chesterton

- - - - -

You know that song that goes "In heaven there is no beer... That's why we drink it here"? That seems counter to Ben Franklin's quote that beer is proof that there is a God and He loves us.

In all fairness, I'm not sure how much time God really spends thinking about beer.

Okay, in all fairness, I'm not sure time is even a thing to God.

Okay, in all fairness, I'm not sure.

Like

If you like the stuff I do, my chances of liking you go up.

~ Penn Gillette

- - - - -

One day I was looking at my posted blogs. Four days in a row the titles were as follows" Rainbow" "Miracle" "Music" "Barn"

So then I got to thinking how I would probably like a musical called "The Rainbow Miracle Music Barn." And the plot would be something like how after a devastating storm a Barn would appear at the end of a rainbow and you could go there and listen to music and see miracles happen. And the songs from the musical would include things like:

"I'm Not Singing 'Til the Rain Lets Up"
"There's No Acoustics Like Barn Acoustics"
"Rainbows are Miracles, Too"
"It's a Barn New Day"
"My Main Beau is Pretty as a Rainbow"
"Miracle, Miracle, Miracle NOW"
"Remember Our Barn Song?"
"Wrap Up My Present with a Rainbow, Please"
"Farmers Can Sing, Too"
"Yeehaw Yeehodle Yeeboo"
"Thunder's Gone a Miracle's Comin' On"

(pause)

I wish someone would pay me to write musical song title names. Or give me money to stop writing them. Doesn't matter to me.

Fortune

When ill luck begins, it does not come in sprinkles, but in showers.

~ Mark Twain

- - - - -

I don't know if I believe in luck or not.  No, wait.  I guess I do.  If you are lucky to be born in a certain place or time or into a certain family or demographic group, you certainly have an easier go of it.  If not -- well, it's not just that things might be a little harder, there are things that are probably or at least nearly insurmountable.

But we probably shouldn't be talking about "luck." We should probably be talking about...  Well, I'm not sure - sunrises? Kittens? Smiles? I was trying to come up with something that everyone likes, but there are some people who don't like everything. I mean.. everything there is, there is probably at least one person who doesn't like that thing.

Except me. Pretty much everyone likes me. And if they don't, well that's unfortunate. Which is a synonym for unlucky. And thus I have brought this blog full circle.

Problem

If you've got a problem, take it out on a drum.

~ Neil Peart

- - - - -

So I have a problem. Okay, I have multiple problems - you don't have to be a smart aleck about it. In this case what I'm wondering about is my iTunes. I checked recently and my iTunes tells me that the number one most played song on my iTunes is "Second Chance" by Shinedown. And that I have played it 1,033 times. 

(pause)

I'm not sure how that happened. All of those songs are fine, but I don't remember listening to them that much. I wonder if maybe I had it on repeat and then turned the volume all the way down and walked away for... 63 hours.

This is followed by "Man on Your Mind" by Little River Band (518) and "Sister Golden Hair" by America (510). Again, I like these songs, but was surprised to find them significantly higher than others.

When we get to 117 plays it's "Try" by P!nk, 110 "Something I Need" by OneRepublic, 107 "Sooner or Later" by Gavin Creel, and 106 "Demons" by Imagine Dragons. These make more sense to me and seem like songs I would listen to a lot.

Now tsome options for this weird batch of top songs include:

* Leslie playing my iTunes when I'm not around.
* Ghosts playing my iTunes.
* Shinedown breaking into my home to play my iTunes when I'm not around.
* Computers becoming independent thinking and acting beings who love Shinedown.
* Me sleep-listening to Shinedown.

Lucky

But bad luck makes good stories.

~ Bernard Evslin

- - - - -

Today is Friday the 13th. I like that day. It's always been a pretty lucky day for me. I don't know why. I think because I just decided it would be lucky and my decision was as powerful as whatever superstitious bad luck emanates on Fridays the 13th. I'm powerfuller than superstition. I'm like superduperstition.

Also, I see now that this is a menu from a place called Luke. It would be cool if there was a story about twins both named Luke - Good Luke and Bad Luke. Of course who would name their twins the same name? Their dad, Luke would.

Also, this is a lucky blog post because I think I had dinner at Luke with Rachel and I get to see her today.

Rainbow

We live in a rainbow of chaos.

~ Paul Cezanne

- - - - -
Tonight on my drive home from teaching, I saw a rainbow. I watched it for a while. At one point it was right over a church - I love it when that happens. 

When I see a rainbow, I think of that song. The obvious one. Wait, you are thinking I mean "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" - the Judy Garland version. And you're thinking that I'm going to write that I don't understand why you'd go OVER a rainbow when it's clearly easier to just go UNDER a rainbow, but that maybe that represents how hard Judy Garland's life was.

But no. That's not the song I'm thinking of. I'm thinking of that other one.

Miracle

One miracle is just as easy to believe as another.

~ William Jennings Bryan

- - - - -

I just did a miracle. It was an accident and it was not really a good miracle. Sit back and let me explain...

I have a slow fly in my house. I don't know why sometimes flies are slower than other times. I did just finish watching The Barkley Races on Netflix, so maybe the idea of doing that race made the fly tired. Or maybe it's a very old fly. Or a very young fly.

Anyway, the fly just flew into the lamp on my desk. And then it dropped on the desk. Dead. I was going to pick it up with a tissue, but I blew on it first and it came back to life and flew away. Actually, it flew away faster than it had been flying before the miracle.

Now, I know that reanimating a dead fly is not the best miracle in the world, but allow me to submit for your consideration the fact that it is at least a slightly better miracle than a really good cleaning cloth.

Music

But you don't really care for music, do you?

~ Leonard Cohen

- - - - -

The other morning I had the theme song from The Golden Girls stuck in my head. I feel like that is probably my brother Kirk's fault. I don't know how he did. More importantly, I have no idea WHY he did it. But I didn't like it.

However, it did get me to thinking (granted, it doesn't take much to do that). And I wondered that if you threw a party and invited everyone you knew if you would believe the biggest gift would be from me. It wouldn't be, but the most thoughtful gift would be.

But that isn't what I was thinking anyway. 

What I WAS thinking was that if I was a super-villain, I'd like one of my super-villain powers to be the ability to get songs stuck in people's heads. That would be really annoying. I'd want some other super-villain powers too. Like strength or mind control or the ability to become invisible because - in all honesty - the ability to get a song stuck in someone's head isn't going to let you do a whole lot of villainous things.

Barn

A jackass can kick a barn down, but it takes a carpenter to build one.

~ Sam Rayburn

- - - - -
I wonder if in olden times when the community would come together for a barn raising, if they did a better job on some barns than others. For instance, if they really didn't like Farmer Drumpf down the road if they did a lousy job on his barn, but they loved Farmer Buscemi and did a great job on  his barn. 

Or if there were some farmers who wanted really creative barns. I wonder if people ever walked by a barn and questioned the design or the purpose behind something non-traditional. The exchange maybe would look something like this:

Visitors: Hm. Is that how you meant for that barn to look?

Farmer MacGaGa: Baby, we just barn this way.

I wonder about a lot of things. Some things I won't ever know the answer to, I guess.

Bike

Once you're a mom, you're always a mom. It's like riding a bike, you never forget.

~ Taraji P. Henson

- - - - -

I like this. Here's the thing, though. My mom did sorta forget how to ride a bike one time. She was riding and it was late at night and we were outside watching her and she fell off the bike. Don't worry, she's okay. We would have stopped laughing at her if she wasn't okay.

Anyway, she says she hit some loose gravel or something. As a result she forgot how to ride a bike.

Thanks, Mom. So if you hit some loose gravel you're going to forget how to be a mom, too?!

The older I get, the more reflection I do, the more I understand why I turned out like this.

Graduation

Education is more valuable than money in the long run.

~ Robert Kawasaki

- - - - -

Today is commencement for the graduate students I get to work with. They are about to commence. You'll note that I did not say that they are about to "commerce." "Why?" you ask? Because they aren't business students. Though compared to grad assistant salaries they are about to do more of that than they have in a while, too.

Why does it always have to be about money with you people? Can't we just celebrate their academic achievements?

Sheesh.

Perspective

Your perspective on life comes from the cage you were held captive in.

~ Shannon L. Adler

- - - - -

What if Rapunzel wasn't kept in a tower, but in a silo?

We would still have to struggle with the gendered messages at play in the story, but that's analysis for another time.

What I was thinking is this... What if she was on a farm and when the prince (or random stranger who stalked her to the silo - creepy whatever he was) said, "Rapunzel, Rapunzel, let down your long - HAY!!"

And he said it because she threw a bale of hay at him instead of her hair. Because who wants some stranger idiot to use your hair as a rope to climb up the side of a building? That's not fun.

Rapunzel is a stupid story.

Worry

Do not anticipate trouble, or worry about what may never happen. Keep in the sunlight.

~ Benjamin Franklin

- - - - -

I think this is really great advice. I believe people worry too much. I think I read somewhere once (which does not equate fact-checking, I realize) that children today worry more than they ever have. That's not good. 

In fact, it's probably bad for all of us. If our future is directed by a generation of worriers, that is going to be really bad. Bad for them and bad for us and most especially bad for me.

I may never sleep again. Great. Thanks, Ben Franklin. Thanks for nothing.

Dinning

Anyone who can think  of only one way to spell a word obviously lacks imagination.

~ Mark Twain

- - - - -

I think I know why this place was closed. I think it ended up closing because who would want to go someplace where one of the things they bragged about was the fact that they had a loud, annoying, prolonged and unpleasant noise? This is bad marketing if you ask me. And you didn't ask me, but that's okay. I didn't ask you either.

Sometimes your opinion is sort of dinning in my head, in case you wondered.

Buildings

We shape our buildings. Thereafter, they shape us.

~ Winston Churchill

- - - - -

I love looking at buildings - specifically old, abandoned, run-down buildings. Sheds, houses, convenience stores, it doesn't matter. I look at them as they are crumbling and tumbling and grumbling against their own weight, and I want to know the story of them.

Who built them? Why were they built?

And why were they not kept up?

Just like there are stories in every person, there are stories in every building.

Especially libraries. Seriously, they have TONS of stories in them.

Heroes

A hero is someone who understands the responsibility that comes with his freedom.

~ Bob Dylan

- - - - -

This is the time of year when lots of people finish the academic year. They are done with classes and sometimes done with degrees. They have learned a lot (hopefully) and are about to do a lot of good things with what they learned (ideally).

But it's not just students who need teachers. Teachers need students, as well. Like when I thought I was trapped in the bathroom and had to ask Eric to come and rescue me because his was the only number I had in my phone since Leslie left her phone in the car.

I heard people outside the door saying, "Oh, I guess we'll have to go upstairs and use that bathroom."

"NO!"  I yelled.  "Who is out there?  I'm trapped!"

But they could not hear me.

I finally figured out I just needed to try and open the door in a slightly different way.  Eric did in fact come to rescue me, but I wasn't in the bathroom then.

Fortunately, no one else was in there either.  Otherwise, he likely would have walked in on them.

While he is a hero to me, he maybe wouldn't have been a hero if he had stormed in on someone going potty. That sort of behavior is rarely seen as heroic.

Anyway, my point is that Leslie should have had her phone.

Nothing

We know what we are, but know not what we may be.

~ William Shakespeare

- - - - -

Just some random observations on May Day, 2016.

1. I have missed making some blog entries lately. I usually have a few scheduled in advance. I think this means a few things. One, I started this blog as a sort of way to bring some balance into my world when things were not going well in my workplace. It wasn't because of my colleagues in my unit (they were and continue to be wonderful). It was just a hard time. 

I think that I don't need the same kind of distraction or processing that I did when I started, so I don't turn to my blog to process the way I used to.

Also, I used to not have writing as a major part of my work. I like to write, so I would write in my blog. Now writing is a significant part of my work so again I probably go to my blog less because I don't need the outlet in the same way I did before.

2. So... I just read the history of May Day. I didn't know that. You should do some research on it if you didn't know about its history, either. 

3. There is a lot of work to do.

4. We have a lot of roses on our rose plant in the backyard this year. I don't know why. The only thing I do to it is I don't move over it with the lawnmower.

5. I need to get a new phone.

6. I really like my job. I get to teach ethics and research this summer. That still cracks me up a little that I teach those things.

7. I love Lego people.

8. Leslie was at a conference but she comes home today.

You may not think that these things are related. You may not be able to identify the theme of this blog. There is a theme, though. I'm not going to tell you what it is because that would ruin the fun for you. You'll figure it out.

Pose

Let the world know you as you are. not as you think you should be, because sooner or later, if you are posing, you will forget the pose, and then where are you?

~ Fanny Brice

- - - - -

A few weeks ago Leslie and I went to the Botanical Gardens in Clemson and walked around. I told her to post like it was her senior picture. This is what she did. I don't know what she was doing with her hand. Weirdo.

But that's not my point. My point is that I think we take senior pictures the wrong way. Well, if not the wrong way, at the wrong time. Seriously. Senior pictures? Shouldn't you get those taken when you get your AARP membership?



(Note: Yes I am scheduling this to be posted when Leslie is out of town. I'm stupid, but not super-duper stupid. Just the regular kind of stupid.)

Enlightenment

Practice and enlightenment are not two.

~ Dogen

- - - - -

I really like this quote. I believe it. I believe that whatever we practice we become. And what we become we are enlightened by. Our practice becomes the way we impact the world around us. The ways in which we become enlightened (i.e., the things we practice) are the ways in which we make a difference. Practice makes effect, I guess.

I am enlightenment of sarcasm.
And also of fixing vacuum cleaners.

Don't be jealous.

Teaching

A child becomes largely what it is taught; hence we must watch what we teach it, and how we live before it.

~ Jane Addams

- - - - -

We are all teachers. We teach intentionally and unintentionally. We teach by words and deeds. We teach when we know people are watching and even when we don't realize they are watching.

Wait. I didn't mean that we are all teachers. I meant that we are all awkward messes. 

Wait again. Maybe it's the same thing.

Bird

you were born with wings

why prefer to crawl through life?

~ Rumi

- - - - -

Outside: Tweet!  Tweet- tweet!  Tweet!

Leslie: That's a red-breasted mother---

Me: LESLIE!

Leslie: Whatever. I hate those people who know all those birds by their whistles.


Dear Undergraduate Self,

Smart move not becoming an ornithologist.

Love, All Graduated Self.

Oil

Formula for success: rise early, work hard, strike oil.

~ J. Paul Getty

- - - - -

We rely too much on foreign sewmachine oil.
Thank goodness for domestic sewmachine oil.

Ham

He that but looketh on a plate of ham and eggs to lust after it hath already committed breakfast with it in his heart.

~ C. S. Lewis

- - - - -

I love my friend Sally.  She has helped me a lot and challenged me a lot and shown me that life away from work matters more than life at work, but that also doing a good job is important.  She has shown me that it is best never to disagree with her on the big things and if you disagree with her on the small things then shut up and keep it to yourself.

All that said, the reason I am writing this post about Sally with this picture is because I had this photo in draft mode and it was titled "ham."  The next blog in draft mode - the one right under it for several months until I figure out what to do with it - was titled, "balls."  And Sally loves ham balls.  And I do, too.  

And they are not pig testicles.  I mean, I guess you could call pig testicles "ham balls" but that isn't what I'm talking about.

My point is, it's good to have lots of different people in your world to teach you things.  And it would be smart to find out what exactly kind of "ham ball" you are eating before you start eating it.  Actually, it's probably good to find out what you're eating before you eat it all the time.

There are a LOT of life lessons in this blog.  

You're welcome.

Upon rereading this draft, I realize that having a blog draft titled "balls" could be rather provocative.  So, consider yourselves provoked.

Also, "balls" would not be a bad birthday blog title for a Sally post, either.

Cool

Cool means being able to hang with yourself. All you have to ask yourself is 'Is there anybody I'm afraid of? Is there anybody who if I walked into a room and saw, I'd get nervous?' If not, then you're cool.

~ Prince

- - - - -

Maybe his passing is the death of cool. I am more affected than I expected to be to hear he has died. I feel like some things that would have caught me off guard or make me think differently won't be created now. He did, wrote, sang, filmed and otherwise created that stuff - the stuff of surprises. Often.

I went to see Prince for $5 when I was in college. It was a great concert. In 1993 I went to see the world premiere of "Billboards" - based on Prince's music and performed by the Joffrey Ballet - at Hancher Auditorium in Iowa City. That's when "Thunder" became one of my favorite songs of all time.

I wasn't a super-megafan. I know some of those people. That's not me. I am pretty moved by his passing, though. It's one of those times when you know that there won't ever be anyone like that again. I know that's true for every person. This person, though... He made a huge impact on music and culture. And he was not like other people in very visible ways.

I used some of Prince's lyrics and words to wrap up my last class this semester.  They included: 

"Act your age, not your shoe size."

"A strong spirit transcends rules."

"Compassion is an action with no boundaries."

"The gatekeepers must change."

"No child is bad from the beginning. They just imitate their atmosphere."

Just like Prince surprised the world over and over again, he also inspired me to surprise myself by quoting from the song "Sexuality" in class this week. Thanks, Prince.

Power

Isn't the smallest chance of victory enough of a reason for us to keep on fighting?

~ Jason, Mighty Morphin Power Rangers

- - - - -

What if Power Rangers were like Park Rangers. Instead of going around educating people about parks or giving tours or teaching safety or teaching about the environment or monuments - what if Power Rangers went around and educated people about power and safety and responsible use of power?

What if that is what Power Rangers really are -- teachers? Aren't all teachers like Power Rangers because they teach us about the power of knowledge?

I don't know. I never watched that show.

Sausage

The less people know about how sausages and laws are made, the better they'll sleep at night.

~ Otto von Bismarck

- - - - -

I took this photo in Pittsburgh a few years ago when I was there for a conference. I like that the guy waved when I took the photo. I bet he has some pretty good self-esteem. He works at Wiener World, after all.

Also, I just thought of something.  If you say a kid is a "spoiled brat" that means something different than if you say the same thing about a sausage.

Wow, do I have some important thoughts.

Trap

A forest bird never wants a cage.

~ Henrik Ibsen

- - - - -

This birdhouse makes me laugh.  Birds can't read.

Birds can't read because they don't wear reading glasses.

They don't wear reading glasses because they don't have ears to keep them on their heads.

What's really sad is when a bird pays a visit to the ophthalmologist who can't help the bird instead of the ornithologist which is where the bird meant to go but the bird can't read.

The world is cruel.

Bench

A throne is only a bench covered in velvet.

~ Napoleon Bonaparte

- - - - -

You know "riding the bench" really isn't much of a ride at all.

Brevity

If you would be pungent, be brief; for it is with words as with sunbeams - the more they are condensed, the deeper they burn.

~ Robert Southey

- - - - 
Me:   Just thought of this...  Jared is your Maine squeeze.

Kirk:  Omg.  That's all.  ;)

Me:  Oh Maine Goodness?

Kirk:  Omg!  Do you know about nexttokimdavis on Twitter?????

Me: I AM nexttokimdavis on Twitter.

Kirk:  Please let that be true.  Oh please...  Let that be true.

Building

Architecture is a visual art and the buildings speak for themselves.

~ Julia Morgan

- - - - -

The stories in buildings fascinate me.  What goes on behind each of these windows.  I think that's why floors in tall buildings are called "stories."  There is something to be learned, told, seen, and kept secret on every floor.

Not secret from me because I REALLY want to know what's going on there. But secret from you because you don't want to know as much as I do.

Bridge

Like a bridge over troubled water,

I will lay me down.

~ Paul Simon

- - - - -

Should it be "Like a bridge over troubled water, I will lie down?" Probably not. But can a bridge lay itself down? It's an inanimate object, right? So should the lyric be, "Like a bridge over troubled water bridge builder guys will lay me down?"

No. No it shouldn't be.

That would be a very different kind of song.

Music is a mystery.

Influence

You don't have to be a person of influence to be influential. In fact, the most influential people in my life are probably not even aware of the things they've taught me.

~ Scott Adams

- - - - -

How we use our influence is a lot like how we use our privilege. If we make a habit of using it to help, to listen, to lift, and to encourage, then it becomes second nature. Actually, I think it becomes first nature. 

If we don't, then we become lousy people by nature. 

It takes work to be happy.
It takes work to be a good person.

A lot of people don't like work very much.

I try not to follow their lead.

Instead, I follow the lead of people like Leslie. People who assume most people are good or at least want to be good. People who help first and ask questions never. People who are constantly seeking to learn and who own the fact that they don't (and will never) know everything. People who don't conflate wisdom with worship or kindness with cult-following. People who do good things because there are a lot of good things that need to be done. I like people like that. Leslie is like that. I like her.

So, I'd follow Leslie just about anywhere. Especially if I'm in the back of the canoe she is paddling.

Curiosity

The cure for boredom in curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity.

~  Dorothy Parker

- - - - -

The old lady invited the children into her house to play with her finger puppets. When the children saw the dish with the doll heads in it, they were uncomfortable. You're bound to be uncomfortable when you see a dish full of doll heads. If not, there is something a bit off about you.

"Go ahead," the old lady invited, "Take a puppet and put your finger in it and we'll do an entertainment together."

The children paused and then looked at Lucretia, who was the oldest. She would know what to do.

"Um..." Lucretia stalled. "Um... Will it be a tragedy or a comedy?"

The old lady stared over her smudgy spectacles at the girl. She didn't smile or frown. After a minute she said, "There are no comedies. Only prologues for tragedies."

The children backed toward the door. 

"No, no. Come now. Let's do an entertainment," the old lady begged, her walker scraping the floor as she chased after them in stumbly slow motion. The children then took off running, leaving the door open behind them.

"Hmh," the woman murmured in a satisfied way to herself. "That oughta keep 'em out of my yard for a while."

Kindness

Constant kindness can accomplish much. As the sun makes ice melt, kindness causes misunderstanding, mistrust, and hostility to evaporate.

~ Albert Schweitzer

- - - - -

I guess what Dr. Schweitzer was trying to say is that climate change is kindness.

(pause) 

I guess he wasn't a doctor of ecology. Or a doctor of nature. Or a doctor of let's make sure the world lasts for a long time.

Troubles

A lemon drop. They're a kind of Muggle sweet I'm rather fond of.

~ J. K. Rowling

- - - - -

I think that maybe troubles melt like lemon drops in hell. I mean, it would have to be really hot to melt hard candy, right? And I imagine that if you are in hell whatever problems you had before become pretty small considering you are now in hell.

And does that mean that Satan has never had an actual lemon drop? That he only has had lemon drop syrup?

I have so many questions. 

And you all have so few answers. 

Rather, your answers just don't match my questions.

Batman

You don't get heaven or hell.  Do you know the only reward you get for being Batman?  You get to be Batman.

~ Neil Gaiman

- - - - -

Leslie sent me a video with a little kid arguing with his dad about Batman.  His dad kept calling himself Batman.  Then the kid would say, "You're Robin.  I'M Batman."  It went back and forth for a while and then the dad finally gave in.

Well, I wrote back to Leslie and said that the kid wasn't Batman that I am the one who is Batman.  I said it very directly and firmly.  I think I used an f-bomb and exclamation points.

I talked to Leslie later about it and she told me that I had actually typed, "I am Barman."

I am a Batman who doesn't conform to your standard notions of Batman.  On so many levels...

Self

The privilege of a lifetime is being who you are.

~ Joseph Campbell

- - - - -

Sometimes people ask me where I come up with such great ideas for my blog. They ask me if it is hard being so brilliant in a world that is so confining and conforming. They ask me how I rise above the mediocrity that surrounds us all.

(pause)

Not really. Sometimes people do ask me if they can borrow a pen, though.

Suitcases

Our battered suitcases were piled on the sidewalk again' we had longer ways to go. But no matter, the road is life.

~ Jack Kerouac

- - - - -

I am pretty good at packing and moving. I try to keep things organized and boxes marked well. There have been times I have moved and not done a good job at those things, but most of the time I try to do a good job at those things.

That said, there comes a point in every move when you put things where they fit rather than where they belong. I feel like there is some kind of parallel to education there. We sometimes put students where there is room for them rather than where they might thrive. Or we put things in a course because we can teach them but miss the things that probably should be in a course because to include them would make it too complicated or difficult.

Then we end up with education that looks like a suitcase at the end of a move instead of a neatly organized box of materials which make the most of time and space and anyone involved in packing or unpacking them. Then we end up with things like this...

Leslie: What's in this suitcase.

Me: A roasting pan and Christmas decorations, of course.

God

Pray to God, but hammer away.

~ Spanish Proverb

- - - - -

Pray to God for good spelling.

Bucket

Human beings will line up for miles to buy a bucket of catastrophes, but don't try selling sunshine and light - you'll go broke.

~ Chuck Jones 

- - - - -

There are a few challenges in collecting buckets. First, where do you store them? You better have some space. Second, how do you define "bucket" as opposed to other containers? (That might not be a very big challenge, but I don't know. I haven't done any research on that topic.)

Then there is the matter of keeping a record of what buckets you own. Do you do by description? By photo? A written record or a catalogue of some kind? 

Finally, how do you complete your collection? If you collected buckets and before you died you really wanted to get a few rare / prized buckets then I guess you would have a bucket list on your bucket list.

Bucket collecting is not as simple as you think, but why are you thinking about that? Seriously, I'm sure you have better things to do.

Mannequin

Those who are satisfied to stand still should not complain when others pass them.

~ Proverb

- - - - -

The other day my brother Kirk posted something about having a strong desire to watch the movie "Mannequin." Now Kirk is weird on a number of levels - this being a very small example of that. However, it did get me to thinking about an idea for a new movie.

As I recall (and I haven't seen that movie since it first came out, I don't think), the mannequin in "Mannequin" comes to life. What if they did a more contemporary and factual version about a mannequin that is just a mannequin and does not come to life?

Just to mix it up a bit, I think they could use a male mannequin this time. I don't know why. Maybe it's because mannequins are literally objects and there is already enough objectification of women. Maybe it's just to help separate my version from the 1980-whatever version.

Anyway, my movie would focus on how others experience the mannequin who can't come to life. What does he teach them about themselves? How do they project their issues on him. He isn't really able to do anything about their issues, but he serves as a catalyst for their own explorations.  I suggest that we call the film, "Mannecan't".

I'm sure Kirk will be working on the screenplay soon. If he hurries we can release it in time for the 30th anniversary of "Mannequin". Let's not wait until 2021 for the release to coordinate with the 30th anniversary of "Mannequin II" because - well, I don't imagine there will be nearly the hubbub over that film's 30th anniversary.