Phone

The telephone book is full of facts, but it doesn't contain one single idea.

~ Mortimer Adler

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I'm all for technology and advancements and stuff. AND I believe that we lose something when old technology goes by the wayside. Some things don't translate from one technology to the next.

For example, I don't think the song "Call Me" by Blondie would be as successful if they did an updated version called "Text Me"

Also, is it weird that I apparently can only hang up my office phone by using my right hand?  Every time I try to hang up using my left hand I mess up.

(pause)

That's all I have to say about telephones for now.

Market

The farmer has to be an optimist or he wouldn't still be a farmer.

~ Will Rogers

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You know that thing you do with babies toes about "this little piggy?" First of all, why is that a thing?

But more importantly, the one where "this little piggy went to market" - oh my gosh. I just had a revelation. I used to think that it meant that the pig went shopping at the grocery store. I was going to make a joke about how a piggy shopping at a farmer's market would likely be horrified by all the ham and bacon there.

Instead, I think it means that this little piggy got slaughtered and sold at the market.

I am horrified, but not by the "know where your food comes from" realization here. Rather, why would we tell babies that we are going to slaughter one of their tiny little toes?

We are not good parents when we use those little rhyme things. "Baby room rhymes" or whatever they're called.

Above

To love is to admire with the heart; to admire is to love with the brain.

~ Theophile Gautier

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Sometimes Leslie really looks up to me. I wish we had a grand staircase in our house because if we did, I think that would happen more often.

Solo

My life is a beautiful struggle.

~ Hope Solo

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Also, every glass in her house is a Solo cup. Same for Han Solo. Not true for for Harrison Ford. Though every truck at his house is a Ford truck.

Business

Let us give nature a chance. 
She knows her business better than we do.

~ Michel de Montaigne

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I think that we all have a tendency to judge and speculate about what others should or should not do. I encourage us to do less of that. We don't know the stories of others. We don't know what they are dealing with. We don't know their dreams. We don't know their fears and histories. We don't know their business.

Well, unless they're in show business. If they're in show business, we can never ever really know their business. Ultimately, there's no business like show business - like no business I know.

Work

When people go to work, they shouldn't have to leave their hearts at home.

~ Betty Bender

- - - - -

I was going through drafts and I came across this:

The eight hour workday. There was a day before that. There are days now that we work more than eight hours. I wonder if there have ever truly been times when we have valued workers more than the work they do.

I am not sure what I was going to write with that. I guess I was just jotting down notes. 

Having reconsidered all of that, this is what I have to say about employees:

em - put in or on
ploy - pasttime, escapade, trick
ee - to whom or what the action is done

Therefore, employee - to put on a trick to whom.

I think that explains a lot. Now get back to work.

Growing

At the age of six I wanted to be a cook. At seven I wanted to be Napoleon. And my ambition has been growing steadily ever since.

~ Salvador Dali

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I think it's interesting watching kids grow up. One day they are riding around on tricycles and the next thing you know they're flying to Europe. One day they're asking all these WHY questions and the next day they think they have all the answers. One day they're losing teeth and the next day they're losing other teeth. Kids lose a lot of teeth. And then one day they are losing even more teeth because they grow up to be hockey players. One day they're like 17 or something and the next day they're 19 because it's their birthday. But they don't really grow up THAT quickly because they aren't 19 since on their birthday were 18 not 19 because it's hard to do math,

Man it's hard to keep up with kids.

Look

Slow down, totally. You have to slow down and pay attention to everything.

~ Norman Reedus

- - - - -

Basil:  What’s it like being awesome today?

Me:  Awesome.

Water

The tree that is beside running water is fresher and gives more fruit.

~ Saint Teresa of Avila

- - - - -

A fruit seller who is beside running water is the same way, but he's gone a lot because he has to go pee pretty frequently.

Aaaaaaahhhh!

Aaah summer - that long anticipated stretch of lazy, lingering days, free of responsibility and rife with possibility. It's a time to hunt for insects, master handstands, practice swimming strokes, conquer trees, explore nooks and crannies, and make new friends.

~ Darrell Hammond

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It is interesting how many drafts for future posts I have with photos of Leslie and the caption "Aaaahhh!" (or some near variation of that). I wonder what's up with that...

Window

Set wide the window. Let me drink the day.

~ Edith Wharton

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I think a good movie would be if someone bought some salvaged windows and when they put them in their house and looked out the windows all they could see what the neighborhood of the house where the windows were taken from.

I know it's a lot like my other window movie idea, but this one is different. This one is called "Windows II."

Road

If you're in a bad mood, go for a walk. 

If you're still in a bad mood, go for another walk.

~ Hippocrates

- - - - -

This post is meant in no way to imply that you should take a walk in the middle of a road. I know that's kind of what it looks like, but those yellow lines do not mark a walking path. 

You don't make that mistake more than once.

Or twice.

Theatre

The theatre is a spiritual and social x-ray of it's time.

~ Stella Adler

- - - - -

I think I might like to run a theatre. Maybe I would run it and there would be a small (but wonderful) apartment upstairs where I lived. And actors would come and go. And it would be a fine arts theatre. people would come from far away to see our cutting edge comedies and dramas and experimental performances. 

Of course at first we wouldn't have a lot of money. We might not have funding for all the letters of the sign outside. We might have to abbreviate "Fine Arts Theatre" early on. Maybe we would keep "Arts" and "Theatre" but abbreviate "Fine" with just an F. 

And if we did it would be a FArts Theatre!! And that would be part of our legacy and history. 

Oh, but if we got poor reviews. We would embrace them. When people would write, "That play stinks!" We'd respond with "Well, we are the FArts Theatre!"

I'm just kidding. That would never happen. We would only respond to the positive reviews.

Beach

Babies don't need a vacation, but I still see them at the beach. I'll go over to them and say, "What are you doing here? You've never worked a day in your life!"

~ Steven Wright

- - - - -

Timmy was angry. His family said that they would take him to the beach. He imagined the fun they would have playing in the water. The cotton candy they would get. He imagined riding the ferris wheel.

When they took him to the beach and told him they'd be back to get him in a few hours, he was not happy.

But what did Timmy expect? He was an asshole.

Beverages

I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage.

~ Erma Bombeck

- - - - -

I do not.

I come from a family of boiled potato-makers where fish soaked in lye and then drenched in butter is considered gravy.

(pause)

I'm not sure that's better than where Erma Bombeck comes from, though.

Skies

I see skies of blue and clouds of white...

~ Bob Thiele and George David Weiss

- - - - -

I like that song "Wonderful World." Until recently though I misunderstood the next line of the song. I thought it went -

I see skies of blue and clouds of white
The bright blessed day, the dogs say goodnight.

Apparently the actual lyrics are "the dark sacred night."

The songwriters clearly weren't as creative as I am.

Pompous

He knows nothing; and he thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career.

~ George Bernard Shaw, Major Barbara

- - - - -

I think it is important to be humble. It's good when others are kept humble, too. That said, while I might choose to put a pompous pig in my belly, I would not do the same to a person. Unless the person's name was Barb. Because - Barb-BQ.  Get it?

Hahahahahahahahah.

Sometimes it's important to rely on yourself to make yourself laugh. Others won't laugh no matter how hilarious you are. They are trying to keep you humble.

Whatever.

When

He will win who knows when to fight and when not to fight.

~ Sun Tzu

- - - - -

I find it hard to believe there was an actual time when EVERYBODY was kung fu fighting.

Socks

Never put a sock in a toaster.

~ Eddie Izzard

- - - - -

I told Leslie not to take off her socks or we'd never find them again.

She never listens to me.

Nature

Man knows that he springs from nature and not nature from him.  This is an old and very primitive knowledge.

~ Loren Eiseley

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In fact, some of the things that spring from man are very unnatural. Or maybe they're supernatural. Depends on the man. And depends on what the man had for dinner.