Avocado

Call it "Grand Theft Avo."

~ Brian Handwerk, writing about the ease of stealing avocados

- - - - -

Did you know that another name for avocados is "alligator pears"?! I didn't know that. I feel like I should have known it. I love stuff like that. When I hear it, I always wonder who gave the name out originally. They don't get credit for it. Just like whoever first called raccoons "trash pandas" probably isn't getting credit for it. 

But it's not about the credit, my friends. It's about cool names for things. 

That's all life is really all about. Cool names for things.

 

Books

Wear the old coat, and buy the new book.

~ Austin Phelps

- - - - -

I read books. I listen to books. More recently, I have even written a few books. If you buy my books, I won't make fun of your coat.

(pause)

Actually, I'm not going to make fun of your coat, anyway. I'm not like that. 

 

Dead

It's a terrible thing to know everything about someone long after you want to.

~ Laura Dave

- - - - -

You can never really know a person. You think you know someone, and then they do something to surprise you - maybe something good or maybe something bad. I know people I thought were good and compatible with what I want in my life, only to find out later that they aren't compatible with what I want in my life. A friend who has a dark side. 

Like if they are always trying to get you to eat Chicken in a Biskit crackers. Not only are those crackers yucky, the company encourages poor spelling.

 

Heart

Accept the things to which fate binds you, and love the people with whom fate brings you together, but do so with all your heart.

~ Marcus Aurelius

- - - - -

When a child trusts you with all their heart, even when you are asleep, you are trustworthy. You just better hope that child is trustworthy, too, or they can trash your house while you're napping!

Dogs

Just as dogs were thwarted wolves, parks were thwarted forests. Humans loved both, possibly because humans were, well, thwarted.

~ Matt Haig

- - - - - -

 I saw an article for a new dog park called "Elderly Dog Park." I wasn't sure if it was for elderly dogs or elderly people. Based on the photo with the article, I assumed it was elderly people. I read more. It wasn't specifically for elderly dogs or people because it was called ENderly Park.

Correspondence

The absence of a message sometimes is a presence of one.

~ Hasse Jerner

- - - - -

I went to the post office the other day. When I walked in, the song "Message in a Bottle" by The Police was playing. When I got to the counter, I told the woman, "That isn't a very good song to be playing in the Post Office," she looked at me, trying to hear what the song was and figure out what the problem was. "I said, 'Message in a Bottle'? It doesn't seem like you'd want to promote other means of delivering mail." She smiled, but I don't think she thought I was very funny.

She was mistaken.

Pick

Who knows what may lie around the next corner? There may be a window somewhere ahead. It may look out on a field of sunflowers.

~ Joe Hill

- - - - -

As for the sunflowers left in the field, they hung their yellow heads, withered, and died. No one likes not to be picked. 
 

Broken

Destroying things is much easier than making them.

~ Suzanne Collins

- - - - -

Do you know a person who is always putting down other people's ideas or wrecking projects done by other people, but who never takes the risk to share an idea of their own? Me, too. Avoid those people.

 

Donut

I'd rather get a hot dog or a doughnut than write a song.

~ John Prine

- - - - -

On my last visit to Maine, Kirk took me on a doughnut tour. These are Fruity Pebbles donuts from Zak's favorite donut place. I am glad I went there. I liked learning about Zak. I also like donuts. 

Leslie doesn't like donuts, so I'm glad she wasn't on that trip, though it would have been nice to have someone to talk to. It was a long drive to get there.

That said, I try to appreciate the good things and look ahead to the future with hope. I donut wallow in negative things. At least I donut mean to. While I try to be positive, in all honesty, I donut always succeed. 

Campus

A university is just a bunch of buildings gathered around a library.

~ Shelby Foote

- - - - -

This Annette Funicello album is her singing a bunch of college alma maters. I didn't buy it. I thought a photos was worth a thousand words. Or in this case, a photo is worth 20+ alma maters.

Heads

Two heads may be better than one but only when we can competently discuss our different perspectives. If one person in the team has flawed information -- or is less competent -- than the outcome can be negative and perhaps you should completely ignore them.

~ Ryota Kanai & Michael Banissy

- - - - -

 Five heads are better than one or two, but will cost you a lot more in shampoo and conditioner.

Doll

It is an anxious, sometimes dangerous thing to be a doll. 

Dolls cannot choose; they can only be chosen; 

they cannot 'do'; they can only be done by.

~ Rumer Golden

- - - - -

Sweatsuit Susie wasn't the most popular doll on the block. She told it like it was. She was a straight-shooter and blunt to a fault. She didn't have an easy life, but she had stories to tell. You could find her sitting in her yard with a bucket of rocks to throw at the troublemakers if they came near her house. Troublemakers might be neighborhood kids, but might also be squirrels, the mail carrier, Shanna from two houses down, or even a stray plastic bag.

Sweatsuit Susie would make the perfect doll for someone who needed a dose of the truth or a non-traveling companion. Susie hated traveling. There was enough to complain about at home.

Zero

Life is a zero sum game.

~ George Carlin

- - - - -

But games are fun, so there is that.

Driving

Everything in life is somewhere else, and you get there in a car.

~ E. B. White

- - - - -

Hopefully, not everything. Hopefully, not your car.
 

Road

Life is one long road with lots of signs.

~ Bob Marley

- - - - -

Hm.
 

Rocks

There will always be rocks in the road ahead of us. They will be stumbling blocks or stepping stones; it all depends on how you use them.

~ Friedrich Nietzsche

- - - - -

There are people who are going to complain no matter how small their challenges are. There are others who will never complain, no matter how great their burdens are.

(pause)

I'd rather hang out with the latter. I think I can learn more useful things from them. Plus, the people in that first category talk too much and I enjoy silence on occasion.

Hunger

Happy Hunger Games! And may the odds be ever in your favor.

~ Suzanne Collins

- - - - -

This is a photo from a site near where I live where they filmed some of The Hunger Games movie. It seems ironic that people in the hunger games had fake fruit in their house. And maybe a fake potato. I can't tell what that is from the photo.
 

Mountains

The mountains are calling me, and I must go.

~ John Muir

- - - - -

This quote reminds me of simpler times. In former times there was - maybe - more appreciation of nature. We weren't bogged down with technology and noise like we are now. In fact, I bet if we had today's technology then, it would be different. 

SCENE: John Muir's phone buzzes.

John Muir: OMG. It's the frickin mountains calling. AGAIN. (ignores call).

See? Things were better without so much technology

Clean

You don't get anything clean without getting something else dirty.

~ Cecil Baxter

- - - - -

When Mildred picked up the laundry from Mr. Green, she liked to make small talk. Of course, she did the same with the grocery, the mail carrier, and anyone else she might encounter. Mildred was that kind of lady.

"Good morning, Mr. Green," she greeted, a little too loudly - as always.

"Good morning, Mrs. Donald," he said stoically.

"Are you having fun today?" she asked.

"Loads," he said without smiling. Mr. Green was a dry cleaner.

Source: Click Americana

The best thing you can do for someone is make them a beautiful plate of food. How else can you invade someone's body without actually touching them?

~ Padma Lakshmi

- - - - -

No. 

(pause)

I'm sorry. That was rude.

Instead let me say: Absolutely not. No thank you.