Iowa

Some of the best ideas I ever had came to me while I was milking a cow.

~ Grant Wood

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This summer we visited friends in Ohio. Some of our friends kidded us about Iowa with a "who would want to live there?" tone. I know Iowa isn't the most cosmopolitan place on earth, but have you seen any of the "Housewives of..." shows? I would not want to have to interact or even see those people.

Anyway, while we were at a cookout in Columbus, hearing how great life there is -- or at least how much better it is there than Iowa, a few things were said which to me are worth documenting:

"Oh that? That's just a police helicopter. They fly over all the time here."

"I can't believe the people next door moved out and left that giant box of porn on the curb! And that creepo guy who stopped by to dig through the box! Gross!"

"I'm about sick of our garage being broken into. At least the time before this we moved most of the valuable stuff into the house."

"Yeah, we probably find a used condom on our sidewalk at least once a week. There are a bunch of prostitutes who work up the street from here."

"No - that's not a gunshot. That's just fireworks. Trust me, we KNOW what gunshots sound like."

It was a great visit. And then it was good to come home.