Gas

No one knows his true character until he has run out of gas, purchased something on the installment plan and raised an adolescent.

Marcelene Cox

- - - - -

So, Maddie has her driver's license.  

This is terrifying for me.  And if you go anywhere near roads, it should be of concern to you, too.  Her first day driving independently she decided she needed to put gas in the car.  I have heard the story from her, from Elizabeth (who was along for the ride), and from Chris (whom Elizabeth called three times during the incident).  The following is my version of piecing together all of their stories.

Maddie was driving and the gas light came on.  She went to the gas station, but the line for the pumps was too long, so she parked at Hobby Lobby to wait until there were fewer people there.  When she pulled up to a pump, she wasn't sure what kind of gas to put in the car.

Phone Call 1

Chris:  Hello?

Elizabeth:  Hi, Mom.  This is Elizabeth.  What kind of gas should Maddie put in the car?  Die-sall or unleeeded?

Chris:  What?  Not diesel!  It's diesel, Elizabeth, but not that.  And it's unleaded.  Unleaded.  Ethanol unleaded.

Elizabeth:  K.  Thanks.  (click)

Maddie then tried to open the gas tank.  She pulled the lever to open the tank and the hood popped up.

E:  That's the hood release, Maddie!

Maddie:  I KNOW, Elizabeth!  Crap!

E:  The gas doesn't go there.

Maddie:  I KNOW, ELIZABETH!

Maddie exited the car to close the hood.

Phone Call 2

Chris:  Yes?

E: Uh, hi, Mom.  This is Elizabeth.

Chris:  I know.  What is it, Elizabeth?

E: Maddie can't find the switch to open the gas tank.

Chris:  It's right on the floor on the driver's side.  Is Maddie there?  Give her the phone.

Maddie:  Hello?

Chris:  Maddie, are you in the driver's seat?

Maddie:  YES, MOM.

Chris:  Put your hand on the floor.  Is your hand on the floor?

Maddie:  Yes.

Chris:  Feel around and you'll feel the button for the gas tank.

Maddie:  I just see the one marked "hood release!"

Chris:  On. The. FLOOR! Maddie!  Can you feel the CARPET with your hand.

Maddie:  (disgustedly) YES!  

Chris:  Feel on the floor next to the door.

Maddie:  MOM!  I AM!  (pause)  oh.  i found it.

Chris:  Look at it.  It has a picture of a little gas tank on it.  Lift that and the gas tank will open.

Maddie:  Okay.  (click)

About ten minutes later, Phone call 3

Chris:  What?!

E:  Uh, Mom.  This is Elizabeth.  Maddie can't find the ethanol.

Chris:  It is the cheapest gas there.  I think it's on the right.

E:  Oh, I see it.  (to Maddie)  Duh, Maddie!  It's right there all THREE of those pumps say "Ethanol."  No, not die-sall, ETHANOL.  

Chris:  Let me talk to Maddie, Elizabeth.

Maddie:  Hello?

Chris:  Maddie, Ethanol.  Look at the price.  

Maddie:  Well, I don't know what to do, there is a blue light flashing!

Elizabeth: (in the background) It means you have to hit a button.

Maddie:  ELIZABETH!

Chris:  Maddie, it means you have to hit a button to select what kind of gas you want.  Do you see the prices for the different kinds of gas?

Maddie:  Uh...  yeah.

Chris:  Do you see the cheapest one?

Maddie:  Uh...  yeah.

Chris:  Then hit that button!

Maddie:  Oh, okay.  (click)

Later that evening in the kitchen, I was talking with Elizabeth.

Me:  Elizabeth, the next time we go to the gas station, you're pumping the gas so you know how to do it.

E:  Really?  Are you allowed to do that underage?

Still later that night Maddie came home and I was working in the office.

Maddie:  Want to hear about my first day of driving?

Michelle:  I already did.  Apparently, you don't know how to put gas in the car.

Maddie:  I do!  I learned it!  It's just because I was paying with cash!!

Michelle:  What?!  You were so flustered by paying with cash that you forgot where the gas tank was?!

Maddie:  Oh, I guess you did hear about it already.