Sleeping

                    

There is no sunrise so beautiful that it is worth waking me up to see it.

~ Mindy Kaling

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If a librarian says, "SHHHHH" - a word with no vowels - when she's awake, what does she say when she's asleep?

(Pause.)

Nothing. 

(Pause.)

Unless she engages in somniloquy.

(Pause.)

And if you don't know what that means, go ask a librarian. Preferably one that is awake.

First

History repeats itself, first as tragedy, second as farce.

~ Karl Marx

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I find it hard to believe that the very first fire house was in the middle of Tennessee just off the interstate. Plus, it doesn't look like it is very well equipped.

Puzzle

The world's a puzzle. No need to make sense out of it.

~ Dan Millman

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Actually, the sole purpose of a puzzle is to make sense out of it. If there wasn't a point in making sense of it, it would be called a certainty and not a puzzle. 

Scissors

I believe more in the scissors than I do the pencil.

~ Truman Capote

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So the pen may be mightier than the sword

And the scissors may be mightier than the pencil

But I don't want to be stabbed with any of them.
 

Shadow

Time flies over us, but leaves its shadow behind.

~ Nathaniel Hawthorne

- - - - -
 "Who knows what evil lurks in the hearts of men...? The SHADOW knows!"

My mom used to say that to us randomly. A lot. 

I don't know if she was trying to indicate she knew what evil lurked in our hearts. Or if she was trying to indicate SOMEONE knows what evil lurked in our hearts. Or if she was trying to indicate her vast knowledge of radio shows that ran from 1937 to 1954.

(pause)

Probably the latter. 

Attention

A wealth of information creates a poverty of attention

~ Herbert A. Simon

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Here Lily shows everyone how it feels to be in a Zoom meeting, trying to do the best you can to stay awake and engaged. Then someone asks you a question and you have no idea what the group was talking about...

 

Fog

The fog of illusion, the fog of confusion is hanging all over this world.

~ Van Morrison

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I like fog. It makes things look different. Like illusions. Of course it can also make you confused because it can be difficult to see where you're going.

(pause)

Sometimes Van Morrison really knows what he's talking about.

 

Juice

Most fruits, if left alone on the tree, eventually do ripen, especially if they're not being yelled at.

~ Firoozeh Dumas

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Two nights ago I dreamt that I was at an event where Vice President-elect (at the time, today just regular "Vice President") Kamala Harris was speaking. At one point, I went up and thanked her for attending. She was very nice and when I asked if I could get her anything, she asked for some apple juice. 

A bit later I was talking with her again. She asked again - very patiently - if I could get her some apple juice. I apologized for forgetting and went to the kitchen. There was a woman standing in front of the open refrigerator just staring at things. I finally got around her, but could only find an apple juice box - not a bottle of juice or glasses. 

I grabbed the juice box and as VP Harris was leaving the building I approached. I was stopped by a very tall secret service person who told me to back away. I said, "But I have some apple juice for the Vice President. May I give it to her?" He said, "No." I said, "Are you sure?" He said, "Step aside."

I've been carrying that guilt with me for two days. Even if it had really happened, I doubt that not getting apple juice would be one of the top things on her mind today. 

Bold

Act boldly and unforeseen forces will come to your aid.

~ Dorothea Brande

- - - - -

When I was in kindergarten - I know I've told this story before, but settle in and get ready to hear it again. Anyway, when I was in kindergarten we were coloring. I liked to push down really hard on the crayons because the colors were bolder when you did that.

My teacher, Miss Sassaman, took my picture and held it up. I was sure she was going to tell everyone what a good job I had done. Instead, she said, "This is NOT how you use your crayons!"

I'm not sure what unforeseen forces came to my aid, but that instilled in me something. I think it was not a hatred of educators though. I do that for a job now.

What I do NOT do, is hold up the pictures my graduate students have colored and tell the whole class that someone colored their picture wrong. Seriously, I've never done that once in any of my classes.

Elude

Happiness is like a butterfly; the more you chase it, the more it will elude you, but if you turn your attention to other things, it will come and sit softly on your shoulder.

~ Henry David Thoreau

- - - - -

Happiness is like a butterfly in other ways, too. For example the pupa stage when the butterfly is in a protective chrysalis. That is like when happiness isn't here yet, but it's getting ready to be here. For most butterflies we're talking 8-15 days which I don't think is too long to wait for happiness.

For some though it is longer - like two years. If you sit around waiting for happiness for two years then you're not doing your part. You could be happier sooner if you tried. Why you don't try eludes me.

Bark

On pavements and the bark of trees I have found whole new worlds.

~ Mark Tobey

- - - - -

Dogs treat tree bark the same way human beings treat beef jerky. Tree bark and beef jerky look similar and feel kind of the same when you touch them. And, just like when dogs chew on tree bark, we also lie on our stomachs outside and don't actually eat beef jerky, but shred it up and leave it in bitlets on the ground.

Pears

 There are only ten minutes in a pear's life when it is perfect to eat.

~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

- - - - -

If you are a dog, every minute in a pear's life is when it is perfect to eat. Normally, I would say that we should be more like dogs and enjoy every moment, but I suspect that eating unripe pears would upset my digestive system, so I won't say that this time.

Thus ends today's pearable.

Rest

 Rest and motion, unrelieved and unchecked, are equally destructive.

~ Benjamin Cardozo

- - - - -

If you don't know how to rest, spend time with a puppy. The puppy will teach you. The puppy is an expert on things you have long ago forgotten to be an expert about. Like resting. And chewing on things. And unbounded joy. And pooping outside.

Labels

Definitions belong to the definers not the defined.

~ Toni Morrison

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I saw this on a brewery tour at Allagash Brewing Company in Portland, ME. I don't know who made this particular label, but they are my favorite person who works for Allagash Brewing Company.

Robots

The Zeroth Law: A robot may not harm humanity, or, by inaction, allow humanity to come to harm.

~ Isaac Asimov

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Did you think the robots got me because of how I wrote yesterday's blog? They did not. I was just making a joke. 

I wanted to do a follow up today to put your minds at ease (I hope you were able to sleep last night) and this was the only photo of robots I could find. Vending machines are like the wait staff of the robotics world. We should be grateful to them. They do hard and often thankless work. 

Just like the wait staff of the human world.

Tip generously. No. Seriously. You know what a jerk you can be - especially when you eat out. 

Tip generously.

Future

The future is uncertain, but that can be a good thing.

~ Jennifer Niven

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As the new year begins, I encourage you to live in the moment and expect good things in the future. I know that things are unclear right now and the future is hazy and foggy, but still... we can hope and imagine good things. I also think if we can imagine good things, we can create them. Hope has to be a catalyst for change. Hope without action is not too effective.

Like I'm hoping that robots don't get in my computer and erase today's blog before I

Friend

One's friends are that part of the human race with which one can be human.

~ George Santayana

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On New Year's Day 2020, I posted the following on my Facebook page:

"I've been up for 45 minutes and I haven't messd up 2020 yet."

I intentionally included the typo on the word "messed." I got over 50 likes and several comments on the post. No one mentioned the typo.  What I learned:

1. My Facebook friends are not jerks who point out my mistakes. We all need that sometimes.

and / or

2. My Facebook friends don't read my posts very closely before liking them because they like me.

Either is pretty okay with me.