Pole

A well-developed sense of humor is the pole that adds balance to your steps as you walk the tightrope of life.

~ William Arthur Ward

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I think a good way to tell if someone is trying to kill you is if they suggest that you take tightrope lessons and when you're in the middle of the tightrope way high up they then throw a telephone pole at you for balance. 

Another good way is if you find their to-do list and it says "Kill [your name]" on it.