Avocado

Call it "Grand Theft Avo."

~ Brian Handwerk, writing about the ease of stealing avocados

- - - - -

Did you know that another name for avocados is "alligator pears"?! I didn't know that. I feel like I should have known it. I love stuff like that. When I hear it, I always wonder who gave the name out originally. They don't get credit for it. Just like whoever first called raccoons "trash pandas" probably isn't getting credit for it. 

But it's not about the credit, my friends. It's about cool names for things. 

That's all life is really all about. Cool names for things.

 

Books

Wear the old coat, and buy the new book.

~ Austin Phelps

- - - - -

I read books. I listen to books. More recently, I have even written a few books. If you buy my books, I won't make fun of your coat.

(pause)

Actually, I'm not going to make fun of your coat, anyway. I'm not like that. 

 

Dead

It's a terrible thing to know everything about someone long after you want to.

~ Laura Dave

- - - - -

You can never really know a person. You think you know someone, and then they do something to surprise you - maybe something good or maybe something bad. I know people I thought were good and compatible with what I want in my life, only to find out later that they aren't compatible with what I want in my life. A friend who has a dark side. 

Like if they are always trying to get you to eat Chicken in a Biskit crackers. Not only are those crackers yucky, the company encourages poor spelling.

 

Heart

Accept the things to which fate binds you, and love the people with whom fate brings you together, but do so with all your heart.

~ Marcus Aurelius

- - - - -

When a child trusts you with all their heart, even when you are asleep, you are trustworthy. You just better hope that child is trustworthy, too, or they can trash your house while you're napping!

Dogs

Just as dogs were thwarted wolves, parks were thwarted forests. Humans loved both, possibly because humans were, well, thwarted.

~ Matt Haig

- - - - - -

 I saw an article for a new dog park called "Elderly Dog Park." I wasn't sure if it was for elderly dogs or elderly people. Based on the photo with the article, I assumed it was elderly people. I read more. It wasn't specifically for elderly dogs or people because it was called ENderly Park.

Correspondence

The absence of a message sometimes is a presence of one.

~ Hasse Jerner

- - - - -

I went to the post office the other day. When I walked in, the song "Message in a Bottle" by The Police was playing. When I got to the counter, I told the woman, "That isn't a very good song to be playing in the Post Office," she looked at me, trying to hear what the song was and figure out what the problem was. "I said, 'Message in a Bottle'? It doesn't seem like you'd want to promote other means of delivering mail." She smiled, but I don't think she thought I was very funny.

She was mistaken.

Pick

Who knows what may lie around the next corner? There may be a window somewhere ahead. It may look out on a field of sunflowers.

~ Joe Hill

- - - - -

As for the sunflowers left in the field, they hung their yellow heads, withered, and died. No one likes not to be picked. 
 

Broken

Destroying things is much easier than making them.

~ Suzanne Collins

- - - - -

Do you know a person who is always putting down other people's ideas or wrecking projects done by other people, but who never takes the risk to share an idea of their own? Me, too. Avoid those people.

 

Donut

I'd rather get a hot dog or a doughnut than write a song.

~ John Prine

- - - - -

On my last visit to Maine, Kirk took me on a doughnut tour. These are Fruity Pebbles donuts from Zak's favorite donut place. I am glad I went there. I liked learning about Zak. I also like donuts. 

Leslie doesn't like donuts, so I'm glad she wasn't on that trip, though it would have been nice to have someone to talk to. It was a long drive to get there.

That said, I try to appreciate the good things and look ahead to the future with hope. I donut wallow in negative things. At least I donut mean to. While I try to be positive, in all honesty, I donut always succeed. 

Campus

A university is just a bunch of buildings gathered around a library.

~ Shelby Foote

- - - - -

This Annette Funicello album is her singing a bunch of college alma maters. I didn't buy it. I thought a photos was worth a thousand words. Or in this case, a photo is worth 20+ alma maters.

Heads

Two heads may be better than one but only when we can competently discuss our different perspectives. If one person in the team has flawed information -- or is less competent -- than the outcome can be negative and perhaps you should completely ignore them.

~ Ryota Kanai & Michael Banissy

- - - - -

 Five heads are better than one or two, but will cost you a lot more in shampoo and conditioner.

Doll

It is an anxious, sometimes dangerous thing to be a doll. 

Dolls cannot choose; they can only be chosen; 

they cannot 'do'; they can only be done by.

~ Rumer Golden

- - - - -

Sweatsuit Susie wasn't the most popular doll on the block. She told it like it was. She was a straight-shooter and blunt to a fault. She didn't have an easy life, but she had stories to tell. You could find her sitting in her yard with a bucket of rocks to throw at the troublemakers if they came near her house. Troublemakers might be neighborhood kids, but might also be squirrels, the mail carrier, Shanna from two houses down, or even a stray plastic bag.

Sweatsuit Susie would make the perfect doll for someone who needed a dose of the truth or a non-traveling companion. Susie hated traveling. There was enough to complain about at home.

Zero

Life is a zero sum game.

~ George Carlin

- - - - -

But games are fun, so there is that.

Driving

Everything in life is somewhere else, and you get there in a car.

~ E. B. White

- - - - -

Hopefully, not everything. Hopefully, not your car.
 

Road

Life is one long road with lots of signs.

~ Bob Marley

- - - - -

Hm.
 

Rocks

There will always be rocks in the road ahead of us. They will be stumbling blocks or stepping stones; it all depends on how you use them.

~ Friedrich Nietzsche

- - - - -

There are people who are going to complain no matter how small their challenges are. There are others who will never complain, no matter how great their burdens are.

(pause)

I'd rather hang out with the latter. I think I can learn more useful things from them. Plus, the people in that first category talk too much and I enjoy silence on occasion.

Hunger

Happy Hunger Games! And may the odds be ever in your favor.

~ Suzanne Collins

- - - - -

This is a photo from a site near where I live where they filmed some of The Hunger Games movie. It seems ironic that people in the hunger games had fake fruit in their house. And maybe a fake potato. I can't tell what that is from the photo.
 

Mountains

The mountains are calling me, and I must go.

~ John Muir

- - - - -

This quote reminds me of simpler times. In former times there was - maybe - more appreciation of nature. We weren't bogged down with technology and noise like we are now. In fact, I bet if we had today's technology then, it would be different. 

SCENE: John Muir's phone buzzes.

John Muir: OMG. It's the frickin mountains calling. AGAIN. (ignores call).

See? Things were better without so much technology

Clean

You don't get anything clean without getting something else dirty.

~ Cecil Baxter

- - - - -

When Mildred picked up the laundry from Mr. Green, she liked to make small talk. Of course, she did the same with the grocery, the mail carrier, and anyone else she might encounter. Mildred was that kind of lady.

"Good morning, Mr. Green," she greeted, a little too loudly - as always.

"Good morning, Mrs. Donald," he said stoically.

"Are you having fun today?" she asked.

"Loads," he said without smiling. Mr. Green was a dry cleaner.

Source: Click Americana

The best thing you can do for someone is make them a beautiful plate of food. How else can you invade someone's body without actually touching them?

~ Padma Lakshmi

- - - - -

No. 

(pause)

I'm sorry. That was rude.

Instead let me say: Absolutely not. No thank you.

 

Lots

Whenever I think of the past, it brings back so many memories.

~ Steven Wright

- - - - -

Me: Isaac Asimov wrote I, Robot.

Leslie: I know.

Me: And The Fountainhead.

Leslie: No. That was Ayn Rand.

Me: Um. I mean, The Foundation. He wrote a lot of things.

Leslie: Like Dolly Parton.

Me: She didn't write science fiction.

Leslie: No. Songs. She wrote a lot of SONGS.

Me: (thinking snarkily to myself, but not daring to speak these words aloud) Sure, Leslie. Sure, you meant songs not science fiction. Whatever.

Leslie knows a lot of things, but she doesn't know all the things. 

 

Mirrors

I see myself as someone who is confidently insecure.

~ Yungblud

- - - - -

I heard or read something the other day about how no two people see us in the same way. We are different to everyone and no one sees us as we see ourselves. It was sort of liberating to think that we are each customized for one another. 

Maybe we are more like books than I realized. We might be the authors of our lives, but we don't get a lot of input on how others read our lives. They bring their own stuff to their experiences of us. 

I'm profound. I'm telling you that directly so that you can make that part of how you see me.

 

Goat

The goat's business is none of the sheep's concern.

~ Edna Ferber

- - - - -

On one of my drives, I saw this goat with its head stuck. It had reached outside of the yard, I assume to get grass on the other side. It couldn't pull its head back in because the horns were caught.

I saw it and knew something looked strange since the other goats were all gathered in the shade. Once I realized what had happened, I parked by the side of the road, got out and helped the goat get free of the fence.

I doubt that the goat ever thinks about me. I think about the goat sometimes, though. 

We focus maybe too much on being thankful for people who help us and maybe not enough on being thankful for those who let us help them. Both are gifts. 

Maybe not as good a gift as a really good pen or - wait. Get it? A really good pen. I was thinking of a pen to write with, but it could also mean a really good goat pen.

Thus concludes this post.
 

Wishes

Sometimes it is actually a blessing not to get what we wish for.

~ Lily Amis

- - - - -

As an adult, I kind of wish there had been a typo on my birth certificate so that my name was "Michevelle." That said, it probably would have given me interesting stories to tell based on childhood incidents sprinkled like devastating sprinkles throughout my childhood. And now, I would be able to write about those stories with the brilliance of a good writer with a devastating past. It would most likely be brilliantly brilliant. 

Unfortunately, now I'm just brilliantly brilliant without a cooler first name.

I prefer to do right and get no thanks than to do wrong and receive no punishment.

~ Marcus Cato

- - - - -

I prefer to do whatever I want and get presents.
 

Self

There is only one corner of the universe you can be certain of improving, and that's your own self.

~ Aldous Huxley

- - - - -

(no other comment needed)
 

Enemies

Enemies are so stimulating.

~ Katherine Hepburn

- - - - -

So I did a little research and if I understand things correctly:

• An archenemy is one's primary enemy while an enemy is one of many regular enemies.
• A nemesis leads to one's downfall and may or may not be a longstanding enemy - thus the word "archnemesis" is apparently also a word. I guess in that case you have a lot of nemeses who contribute to your downfall.
• I have used the word "nemesis" incorrectly in the past as no one has - as of yet - led to my downfall.
• Ultimately, I suspect I will be my own nemesis / archnemesis, though that remains to be seen.

I perhaps give matters like this a bit more thought than is really necessary when I could be doing other more productive things. However, I am simply trying to assist the many comic book artists and writers who will one day compose my biography.

I hope my superhero name is "Dr. Awesome," and my mild mannered identity name can just be my regular name. 

 

Fireworks

From a little spark may burst a flame.

~ Dante Aligheri

- - - - -

Especially in a highly flammable space.

Moon

We are all like the bright moon; we still have our darker side.

~Khalil Gibran

- - - - -

When you are shining like the moon, and you get eclipsed by someone - like how the moon gets eclipsed by the earth - don't fret. Remember that - like the moon - yours is only reflected light. It's not like everything revolves around you, though you sure act like you think it does sometimes.

Sheesh.

Nation's Beverage

Beverages have to be created. And they're created by looking at what trend is in, say, the fashion industry - what color's hot right now.

~ Howard Schultz

- - - - -

I think it's hard to predict what is going to be popular. It is particularly hard to predict what will be popular and stand the test of time. Cherry Smash did not become the nation's beverage. At one time, it was a syrup that soda jerks used to make drinks. Today a cherry smash is bitters, whiskey, vermouth, syrup, and lemon juice with cherries and ice.

It doesn't matter. I'm not having that drink either way. Especially if it uses maraschino cherries. I hate those things. 

Plus, the national beverage should probably include eagle juice. 

Moon

The moon is a friend for the lonesome to talk to.

~ Carl Sandburg

- - - - -

The other day, Leslie was reading questions out of a book. She asked me, "Which is more romantic - watching a sunset or looking at the moon?" I thought for a while and decided it was looking at the moon because the sunset was a time of transition and watching the moon is more of a set time. I mean, I know the moon is also in transition, but it's just slower. 

I bet werewolves prefer sunsets, though.