Beer

They who drink beer will think beer.

~ Washington Irving

- - - - -

And those who drink the blood of headless horsemen will...  You see where I'm going.

Machine

People are more difficult to work with than machines. 

And when you break a person, he can't be fixed.

~ Rick Riordan

- - - - -

People are indeed difficult. Their lack of predictability also makes them incredibly interesting. To me. Yet we continue (and mostly fail) to replace people with machines. I guess because machines are cheaper. But when you invest in cheap things, you get cheap returns. You might get more money, but what is that worth - really - in comparison with the development, support, and happiness of human beings? 

(pause)

I guess it depends on what you value.

Also, we are not REplacing people with machines. We are simply DISplacing people with machines.

Anyway, above you will find a prototype for the bionic man

Granted, it was an EARLY prototype.

Granted, we haven't moved to far ahead of this prototype.

Granted, I'm doomed when the robots take over. That said, maybe I'm okay because they probably won't read this blog.

Thermos

Phrases and their actual meanings: "My teacher has never liked me." Expect a phone call before lunch from the teacher informing you that your child has been launching hotdogs by compressing them inside a small thermos and then removing the lid quickly.

~ Erma Bombeck

- - - - -

I don't think I've ever owned a thermos. I vaguely remember that Kirk had one - a Smurf one, I think. Of course, Kirk was allowed to take his lunch. I was not. At least not until we realized that I was allergic to some of the soy filler the school used.

Yes, I have had a very difficult life. But I persist.

Also, if you decided to get a tattoo of a thermos, you would have a thermos tat. Which is a pretty significant commitment for a pretty small joke.

Leadership

To command is to serve, nothing more and nothing less.

~ Andre Malraux

Leadership is a series of behaviors rather than a role for heroes.” ~ Margaret Wheatley

As a leader, it’s a major responsibility on your shoulders to practice the behavior you want others to follow.

~ Himanshu Bhatia

He who has never learned to obey cannot be a good commander.

~ Aristotle

The very essence of leadership is that you have to have a vision. It's got to be a vision you articulate clearly and forcefully on every occasion. You can't blow an uncertain trumpet. 

~ Reverend Theodore Hesburgh

True leaders understand that leadership is not about them but about those they serve. It is not about exalting themselves but about lifting others up.

~ Sheri L. Dew

No man will make a great leader who wants to do it all himself, or to get all the credit for doing it.

~ Andrew Carnegie

It is absurd that a man should rule others, who cannot rule himself. ~ Latin Proverb

Leadership should be born out of the understanding of the needs of those who would be affected by it.

~ Marian Anderson

A noble leader answers not to the trumpet calls of self promotion, but to the hushed whispers of necessity.

~ Mollie Marti

What you do has far greater impact than what you say. 

~ Stephen Covey

Is there a better quality in a leader than humility when he might soon be granted enormous power to do good for his country and the world -- or harm?

~ Jane Fletcher Geniesse

You don’t lead by hitting people over the head—that’s assault, not leadership. 

~ Dwight Eisenhower

I have three precious things which I hold fast and prize. The first is gentleness; the second is frugality; the third is humility, which keeps me from putting myself before others. Be gentle and you can be bold; be frugal and you can be liberal; avoid putting yourself before others and you can become a leader among men.

~ Lao Tzu

True leaders understand that leadership is not about them but about those they serve. It is not about exalting themselves but about lifting others up.

~ Sheri L. Dew

Leadership should be more participative than directive, more enabling than performing.

~ Mary D. Poole

Where there is no vision, there is no hope.

~ George Washington Carver

- - - - -

Too subtle?

1. 
   

College

Training is everything. The peach was once a bitter almond; cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.

~ Mark Twain

- - - - -

I don't think Mark Twain majored in horticulture.

Words

Words are, of course, the most powerful drug used by mankind.

~ Rudyard Kipling

- - - - -

Dear Rudyard,

What stories are there that are appropriate only for boys?

Love, Michelle


Now, I do not really expect a response. Kipling wrote a long time ago when gender was different (was it different - maybe not) and power and privilege were different (were they? again, maybe not all that different). His social and cultural circumstances were different than mine are. The world was both bigger and smaller. The thinking was smaller. I also don't expect a response because he died in 1936.

Warning

Congratulations. The fact that you're reading this means that you've taken one giant step toward surviving until your next birthday.

~ James Patterson

- - - - -

Who the hell would feed a wild opossum?

Weird

It's good as an artist to always remember to see things in a weird, new way.

~ Tim Burton

- - - - -

What is "weird" anyway? Who gets to define it? 

Would it be weird if you saw two grown adults playing hide and go seek in their house? Would it be weird if the seeker was playing the opening word to song "Hello" by Adele over and over and over again as the seeking was being done? Would it be weird if at one point the seeker realized that they might not be playing hide and go seek but that the "hider" was just in the laundry room folding laundry?

I mean, who is to judge what is weird?

Religion

These days human beings have forgotten what religion is. They have forgotten a peculiar love which united their human nature to Great Nature. This love has nothing to do with human love. Standing in the midst of nature you feel this love of Great Nature... Zen students must experience this peculiar love. This is religion.

~ Sokei-An

- - - - -

So say you are a member of a religion or a cult or a club or whatever that has a belief that only certain people will be saved. You can put whatever parameters on that you want to - beliefs, behaviors, rites, rituals, whatever.

But say that part of it is providing testimony and proselytizing to others to get them to believe what you believe. You have to approach people and share your faith with them. If they don't believe what you do and practice what you do then - you truly believe - they won't survive or make it to whatever is next.

Are you with me?

So, I wonder if people in this position (and there are lots of them, I think), I wonder if they ever intentionally choose NOT to approach someone. I mean, would you go up to someone who was a jerk or someone who really bothered you to get them to be around with you forever?

Your belief system maybe says you are SUPPOSED to do that, but seriously - that guy is SO ANNOYING. 

It's just a question. I'm just wondering. 

I'm not the boss of you or your religion. 

Prepared

We all float down here!

~ Stephen King

- - - - -

Natalie is a good mom and wants Aurora to always be prepared. That's why she always reads her a chapter of It at bedtime.

(Note: Some of this post may not be true.)

Squirrel

Through the metal bars of the jungle gym she watches 

two gray squirrels chase each other around a tree. 

Around and around and around. So gratuitous.

~ Thomas Pierce

- - - - -

So many people focus on the scampering and chattering of squirrels. They write about how squirrels gather nuts or play and chase each other up and down and around. How they frolic in the trees jumping from one branch to another. 

I have to tell you, though - squirrels take a LOT of naps. No one writes about the squirrel sleeping alongside the road or in the middle of the road. It's interesting how we focus on only one aspect of their lives. They are active and playful not sleepy roadway snoozers.

So interesting.

Marketing

The American Dream never really existed. 

It was a marketing scam.

~ James Altucher

- - - - -

Let's go through the marketing campaign for Prairie Belt smoked sausage in a can.

Person 1: Well, let's make sure the label is yellow and red and blue. That will be eye-catching.

Person 2: Good idea. And let's put a kid on the label.

Person 1: A girl? 

Person 2: No. A boy. A white boy.

Person 1: Is he eating the sausage.

Person 2: No, he's sort of anticipating eating it.

Person 1: So, he's smiling? 

Person 2: Half-smiling. Like he's not sure if he's excited to get to eat this or not.

Person 1: (pause) Talk about truth in advertising.

Person 2: (laughing) Right?!

Yellow

I really just want to be warm yellow light 

that pours over everyone I love.

~ Conor Oberst

- - - - -

Yellow light.
Blue light.
Orange light.
Gray light.

I am often drawn to light when I take photos. Well, I may in all honesty be drawn to shadow. The contrast between the light and the dark is fascinating to me. The more interesting things are often not what we see but what remains hidden.

Like surprises in life. Surprises in each day. Like - when you were a child - and there was a surprise hidden in your cereal.

Of course those things didn't stay hidden for long because you dumped out all the cereal to get whatever was in there. You took what was in darkness and moved it into the light. Then you shoved it in your pocket - from darkness to light, to darkness again.

In that way the cereal toy is a symbol of life. 

And what if it was in Life cereal? That would be mind-blowing! 

(pause)

Except they didn't have toys in Life cereal.

Anyway... yellow.

Reason

The reason we want to go on and on is that we live in an impoverished present.

~ Alan Watts

- - - - -

Sometimes the roads we take are clear, but that doesn't mean that they are without risk. There can be danger on either side of the road or on the road ahead or coming up from behind us. Is that a reason to stay home and never venture out and take risks?

Yes. It is one reason. 

Another reason is wasps. 

Bull

If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull.

~ W. C. Fields

- - - - -

It's a little know fact that the University of Pittsburgh has a bull riding team that they like to take out for walks. 

Is it a little known fact because it isn't true? Well, that's not for me to say.

Calm?

Stay calm and aggressive.

~ Gabrielle Reece

- - - - -

I don't think that "calm and aggressive" is the same as "passive aggressive." In fact, I don't like the label "passive aggressive." It's really just aggressive. Sometimes aggression is warranted, I suppose. Sometimes you have to be aggressive to be heard or to create transformative change. In those cases I think we should use "assive progressive."

That's probably just me, though. I doubt it will catch on. Unless I become "assive progressive" and really fight for it.

But I'm kind of busy right now.

Farm

I feel it is an obligation to help people understand the relation of food to agriculture and the relationship of food to culture.

~ Alice Waters

- - - - -

Food doesn't just happen. It has to be planted. Grown. Harvested. Made ready for us to eat.

Except for PopTarts and pizza rolls. Those just happen. By magic.

Glass

Fortune is like glass. The brighter the glitter, 

the more easily broken.

~ Pubilius Syrus

- - - - -

I think 2016 was rough for a lot of people. I heard on the radio the other day that one reason could be the recent ugliness of the election. Another reason suggested was that we are constantly inundated with information and don't unplug. And most of the information is negative. And much of it is incorrect. We get notified every time something happens and we never get a break. There were other reasons suggested, too. I forget what they were.

I don't know if I believe that 2016 was more difficult than other years. I believe it was difficult in different ways - as every year is. But it was also good in different ways - as every year is.

I will say that on New Years day when I went to type, "I wonder what the new year will bring" I first accidentally typed, "I wonder what the new year will break." That's kind of revealing.

I'm going to believe it reveals that I'm enjoying the break between fall and spring term. I'm going to believe it means growth. I'm going to try and remember how much I love sea glass and that it wouldn't be what it was if it hadn't been broken and then the rough edges worn smooth.

In ways we are very much like sea glass. Maybe that is another reason I like it. We get broken. We can be jagged at first, but time often makes us smoother and easier to handle. 

We also get significantly smaller if tossed around in the ocean for hundreds of years.

Unsafe

Follow the path of the unsafe, independent thinker.  Expose your ideas to the dangers of controversy.  Speak your mind and fear less the label of 'crackpot' than the stigma of conformity. And on issues that seem important to you, stand up and be counted at any cost.

~ Thomas J. Watson

- - - - -

There are different levels of being unsafe for each of us. The identities we hold and the experiences we have; the access to power and privilege we each possess; the ways in which the world makes meaning of our existence -- all of these set the stage for how much risk we can take.

For example, it would be unwise to take a risk such as committing an alleged crime if you are a guy with red dreadlocks who is wearing capri pants. At least if you don't want to get caught. I say that not hypothetically but because we got a Clemson alert on this a while back. It might have been one guy with red dreadlocks and a different guy in capri pants, but still - those risks are different than the risks of alleged crime-doing if you are not a guy with red dreadlocks wearing capri pants.

Think before you controversy. Then controversy away. 

On a maybe-related note: why do we dread those locks, anyway?

Possessive

Remember: Y'all is singular. All y'all is plural. All y'all's in plural possessive.

~ Kinky Friedman

- - - - -

I don't like it when people misuse apostrophe-s ('s). If you're going to misuse it, at least do so consistently. For example, in this case, they should have written: Yo's emite!

sheesh.

Choice

The conqueror and king in each of us is the Knower of truth. 

Let that Knower awaken in us and drive the horses 

of the mind, emotions, and physical body on

the pathway which that king has chosen.

~ George S. Arundale

- - - - -


What are you doing?
Where are you going?

These are important questions we all need to answer for ourselves.

Sometimes we also have to answer those questions for other people. Like for our moms when we are little kids and we swipe cookies and try to run away. 

Allegedly.

Life

Life flies by and it's easy to get lost in the blur. In adolescence it's, 'How do I fit in?' In your 20s it's 'What do I want to do?' In your 30s, 'Is this what I'm meant to do?' I think the trick is living the questions. Not worrying so much about what's ahead but rather sitting int he gray area - being okay with where you are.

~ Chris Pine

- - - - -

The new year is a time of reflection about life for many people. It is a time of anticipation of what is next in life for others - what will the new year bring? Yesterday when I woke up I went to the window to see what 2017 was like. I saw a squirrel burying an acorn in our yard. I looked up what it means if you see a squirrel. I think I read on the internet (our only source for information anymore) that it can mean happiness in the near future and good luck.

I like that. I think I'll assume that is true.

Of course then I went to the refrigerator and realized that Leslie had put cocktail sauce where my bottle of Cran-Grape juice goes, so I guess that's the end of happiness. Or maybe she was trying to play a prank thinking I'd try to drink a glass of cocktail sauce. 

Either way, it didn't bring about happiness. I had to take one of the precious New Year's Day moments to move the cocktail sauce. Now I'm already behind schedule for the year.

Peace

Climb the mountains and get their good tidings. Nature's peace will flow into you as sunshine flows into trees. The winds will blow their own freshness into you, and the storms their energy, while cares will drop away from your like the leaves of autumn.

~ John Muir

- - - - -

I believe this.

2016 was a difficult year for a lot of people. Maybe 2017 will be, too. I don't know. I'm not psychic. I'm not even regular chic.

Anyway, I hope you find peace.

2016

Write it on your heart that every day is the best day of the year.

~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

- - - - -

A lot of people are mad at 2016. They are saying "good riddance" and other more curseword-laden things about this past year. I'm not the boss of them or how they feel about the year. I know a lot of people (famous and family) died. Relationships struggled, pets died, children faced challenges, and sad/infuriating things happened. Political-personal-public-private experiences were intense for many of us.

And good things happened. It's easy to focus on the negative. It's fun and therapeutic in the very short term. For me, it isn't good in the longer term.

I sometimes remember to pause and appreciate quiet things - sunrises, leaves, when the temperature is perfect, the smell of pine trees. I try to pay attention to people. I have an amazing group of friends and family. I have the perfect job for me.

This photo reminds me that I have a good life. I get to spend most of my days with the kindest, smartest, funniest person I know. If there were commercials that included "The Most Interesting Woman in the World" I think it would be her. I don't know if she'd like that or not because she's pretty humble and can be shy and - more importantly - I can't remember if she likes that kind of beer or not.

Windows

I'm standing near the window where the light is strong.

~ Marianne Faithful

- - - - - 

I think a good movie would be if someone bought some salvaged windows and when they got them to their house and had them installed, they found out that they could only see the past when they looked out the windows. And if they were outside looking in, they would see just regular current day stuff, but not for long because they would get arrested for being peeping Toms.

Did you ever notice that it's peeping Tom and not peeping Tammy? Or peeping Takira. Or peeping Taryn? I think it's because men are more visual than women. And more likely to be criminals.

Anyway, that windows movie would be pretty good.

Money

Libraries will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no libraries.

~ Anne Herbert

- - - - -

The photo above was taken on Aurora's first birthday. 

These photos were taken a few days ago shortly before Aurora's third birthday.

Things we can say Aurora has learned in the past two years...

1. $50 is more than $20.

2. You shouldn't put money in your mouth.

3. Hold on to your money or people will try to take it away.

4. Money is just an illusion - whether authentic currency or "play money." Isn't all really just "play money?"

She has also learned some remedial counterfeiting skills.

And, for the record, she loves libraries. I think it's in her genes. Oh! As opposed to money which is in her jeans.

(Not really. I don't think she wears jeans all that often. But my point is - wasn't that clever?!)

Sending

The letters I get that say, 'I'm getting the messages you're sending me through the television screen' are not great. But those are few and far between, thank God. I get wonderful letters. And people send me artwork.

~ Stephen Colbert

- - - - -

So today is the day after Kirk's birthday. It is the day that I begin shopping for things to send for his next birthday. I like to find fun things for him. He is one of the most appreciative people you will meet. 

One time I asked him why he is so ebullient. Actually, I just looked up the word "ebullient." That isn't what I meant. It is mostly true of Kirk, but I really meant "aggrandizing." He takes things to extremes. Many times he will share something with me along with the statement, "This is either the greatest thing in the history of all time or the absolute worst thing ever."

I finally asked him about it and why everything is in extremes like that. He said, "Not everything is. Just the things I get excited about and to share with you."

I thought that was a great response. And I think he's a pretty great brother. And I know he will appreciate whatever I send. If it makes no sense, he will think it is some sort of inside joke and will make up an inside joke to go with it. Because he is either the most creative person in all of history or so uncreative that he can't even create.

(pause)

He does that thing better than I do.

Funny

With comedy I can search for the profound.

~ Dario Fo

- - - - -

So Kirk and I are finally starting to work on a book together. We have talked about it for a long time. Schedules didn't work quite right. Motivations were in different places. Finally we are at a place where we are at least starting. 

It's going to be a good book. A funny book. A book that will change your life for the better and forever. When it comes out, I highly encourage you to buy multiple copies of it and share it with everyone you know.

You might wonder why we are writing it. Mainly for the money. Also - I mean - even more mainly for the transformational truth part. 

That said, we are in fact hoping to raise the comedian household income of our family.

(pause)

Trust me, the book is way funnier than that.

Oysters

I do not weep at the world. 

I am too busy sharpening my oyster knife.

~ Zora Neale Hurston

- - - - -

I really like Zora Neale Hurston. Maybe you already know that. To me this quote is about making your own way. It is about doing work. It is about moving forward not standing still and certainly not about falling back.

I also really like Leslie. Leslie really likes oysters. It is work to get oysters. It is work to shuck oysters. 

In short, I guess I like people who aren't afraid of a little hard work.

I also like people who aren't afraid of eating oysters because they are really good.

Now, get back to work.

Santa

Our family was too strange and weird for even Santa Claus 

to come visit... Santa - who was jolly, but let's face it, 

he was also very judgmental.

~ Julia Sweeny

- - - - -

I never thought about it until I read that quote, but being Santa Claus must be a lot like being a conduct officer. You decide who is naughty and nice in BOTH cases. 

Do I miss being a conduct officer? No. Do I miss breaking into people's homes and leaving them little surprises? Yes. I miss it every single day.

Visiting

He sees you when you're sleeping.

~ John Frederick Coots & Haven Gillespie

- - - - -

He sees you. He knows you. He makes judgments about you and writes those down. He can get into your house.

Now go to sleep.

Santa

Dear Santa, before I submit my life to your scrutiny, I demand to know who made YOU the master of my fate?! Who are YOU to question my behavior, HUH??? What gives you the right?!

~ Bill Watterson

- - - - -

I think it's okay that Santa judges us. We judge him. We judge each other. Why should he be any different? Don't we every day judge people and decide to withhold - if not toys - we withhold our attention or our time or our love. Which is worse - withholding toys or love?

(pause)

You're right - it depends on the toys.

Monkeys

You never monkey with the truth.

~ Ben Bradlee

- - - - -

And you never truth with a monkey. They don't know what you're talking about anyway.

Or do they..?

Snow

All Heaven and Earth

Flowered white obliterate...

Snow...unceasing snow.

~ Hashin

- - - - -

Winter here is brief.
Not bitter and not cruel.
Still, they close the schools.

Snow today. Right now.
But it will melt tomorrow.
South Carolina.

I walked in the snow.
One man at the gas station.
No one else was out.

I like the snow here.
Doesn't outstay it's welcome,
Just comes and visits.

The snow is perfect.
White. Clean. Pure. Calm. Listening.
Until the dog comes.

Autumn

Trees are the earth's endless effort to speak to the listening heavens.
~ Rabindranath Tagore
- - - - -

I think listening is very, very important. I don't think most people are good at it. I think we have gotten worse at it as we have more and more technology. I hate it when people say that they are "multitasking." They really are just doing a lousy job at multiple things at once. In my opinion listening is something we should try very hard not to do a lousy job at.

That said...

I mess up sometimes, too. Sometimes I am not paying attention. Sometimes I just can't hear very well.

Like the other night when Leslie and I were watching a show.

Leslie: What did they say?

Me: "Hillbilly Scanlon."

Leslie: I thought they said, "Reuben Lacana."

Me: Could be. I was chewing popcorn and didn't really hear what they said.

The moral of the story is... I think a show with a character called, "Hillbilly Scanlon" could be really interesting.

Plantings

Every moment and every event of every man's life on earth plants something in his soul.

~ Thomas Merton

- - - - -

Things you might hear if you hang around my mom's house long enough at the holidays:

"Jared, you're a triple threat -- Look at those deviled eggs!"

Person: She said my spirit animal was a bird of paradise.
Another person: Bird of paradise is a flower.
Person: It is?

"Vegetarians can't drink pop. When you see 'Red 40' on a label it's because there is meat juice in soda."

"I don't think you have anything to be embarrassed about, Grandma."

Person: What did you do for fun back then, Grandma?
Another Person: She read the Bible.

Grandchild: Grandma, have you ever seen a drug?
Me, Kirk, & Erik: (simultaneously) SHE'S A NURSE!!!

"Okay, girls. I think that's enough tinsel in the plants."

Produce

We adore chaos because we love to produce order.

~ M. C. Escher

- - - - -

proDUCE and PROduce. They sound similar. They are spelled in VERY similar ways. One is a verb. one is a noun. I think it always involves work to proDUCE PROduce. I think that maybe you can proDUCE things without any work at all. Actually, a lack of work or effort does indeed proDUCE results, right?

Also - mmmm. Jellies.

Good

We all have the duty to do good.

~ Pope Francis

- - - - -

I like Pope Francis. I think he is calling people out and making us face our own not-so-goodness and our behaviors that are inconsistent with truly loving and caring about each other. And I agree that we all have a duty to do good.

That said, we are also all measured by different standards of "good." For instance, if I made a drawing or cooked a meal for someone, they might say, "Hey, this is pretty good." But if Pope Francis made a drawing or cooked a meal for someone, I bet they would talk rave about it and talk about for a really long time.

Is that because he's the Pope and I'm not? No. He's just probably better at cooking and drawing than I am.

Graduation

The doer alone learneth.

~ Friedrich Nietzsche

- - - - -

David graduates today. He has studied very hard while working full time and being a dad and husband. Now he is done with this degree. He can relax and celebrate.

Then he needs to get back to work. Well, more go-to work and less homework. Well, a different kind of home work because he still needs to do work at home like cleaning and giving Aurora a bath and helping her learn to read so she can go to college one day, too.

I guess the work never ends. The doing never ends. Hopefully the learning never ends.

In conclusion, good job being smart and not simply a smart aleck, David.

Cocoa

Animal crackers and cocoa to drink ---
That is the finest of suppers, I think ---                                     
When I'm grown up and can have what I please ---
I think I shall always insist upon these.

~ Christopher Morley

- - - - -

If Christopher Morley invited me to his house for dinner, I might go. Probably not in the summer. Probably not often. Once in a while, though. That might be okay.

Also, I would encourage him not to have this particular type of cocoa. Too many marshmallows. "Too many marshmallows?! Is that even POSSIBLE?!!" you ask.

Yep. It is.

Butterflies

The butterfly counts not months but moments and has enough time.

~ Rabindranath Tagore

- - - - -

Be present. Be in this moment. Pay attention. Listen intentionally. See things, don't simply look at them. Work toward understanding. Crawl first - that is where we start. Build a home where you are safe and can be transformed. Leave that home. Learn to fly. Enjoy nature's nectar. Lay eggs. 

Handle

Every tomorrow has two handles. We can take hold of it with the handle of anxiety or the handle of faith.

~ Henry Ward Beecher

- - - - -

I know it is said that you aren't given more than you can handle, but tell that to the guy who kept his handle collection in the attic over his garage who was crushed when the handles fell trough his garage and crushed him to death. What about that?

Prophecies

There will be a great loss of learning before the moon's full cycle is completed. Fire and floods will be fomented by ignorant rulers; much time will go by before it is rectified.

~ Nostradamus

- - - - - -

Whoa. So I read this and thought, "Is Nostradamus talking about the world TODAY?"

And then I thought, "Maybe this is true for lots of different times in history."

And then I thought, "Maybe it doesn't matter if the prophecies are about now. In order for them to be prophecies they have to come true otherwise they are just wrong guesses."

Then I thought, "Maybe I have some prophecies!"

Here are a few I came up with:

- Pay attention to the brain of the brilliant. That is the brain that is both unsettled and also alluring.
- Look to the skies for trouble. When work on earth is done then the trouble above is gone.
- If man loves the sea then the sea will rise up and return that love.
- Beware of the man who lives by fire because he is the man who starts the fire.
- A mystery lies in art which only history can solve.



(Note: These aren't really prophecies. I just looked at the titles of Ron Howard films and rewrote them so they sounded prophetic A Beautiful Mind, Apollo 13, Splash, Backdraft, The DaVinci Code)

Launderette

Irony is wasted on the stupid.

~ Oscar Wilde

- - - - -

Me: Yeah, I'm doing my laundry tonight.

Leslie: Ironing?

Me: I don't know that it's ironic, but --

Leslie: I SAID "IRONING?"

Calls

Tomorrow you might get a phone call about something wonderful and you might get a phone call about something terrible.

~ Regina Spektor

- - - - -

So last night my mom called. She mentioned that she hadn't seen new posts on my blog in a while. I apologized and told her I had fallen behind because I'd been busy, but my hope was to post some things this weekend.

Mom also wanted to find out about holiday plans. She said that one of Erik's high school friends might be at the house for Christmas this year if he didn't got see his family.

I asked, "Isn't that the kid Erik kicked in the testicles in high school?"

Mom was silent for a long time. She finally said, "Well... I don't know. I guess I'll have to ask your brother."

I replied, "Or maybe the kid kicked Erik in the testicles."

Mom said, "That could be, though I think I would have remembered that happening."

The moral of the story is that even when someone gets kicked in the testicles, they can still be welcome in your home eventually for a nice meal and get together. It's a lot like Aesop's fable of the Fox and the Testicles. I mean grapes. The Grapes and the Testicles.

Also, I bet it's a while before Mom calls me again. 

Also, I wonder if she's glad I'm back to posting my blog.