Fourtwenty

Plant the seed of desire in your mind and it forms a nucleus with power to attract to itself everything needed for its fulfillment.

~ Robert Collier 

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When I was a hall director a long time ago, I did a weekly newsletter.  One of the things I would do was to walk around and make comments in the newsletter about things I saw on students' doors or in their rooms.  One time I remember putting, room such-and-such's favorite time of day is 4:20.

I didn't know at the time that 4:20 had a drug connotation.  My staff told me.  I was embarrassed at first, but then was later told there weren't any other marijuana suspicion issues with that room.  Maybe they thought I was on to them. 

Heart

The way is not in the sky.  

The way is in the heart.

~ Buddha

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Sometimes I feel like my heart is very full.  Usually it is full of good things.  I have been sad, but  I'm not sure I would say that my heart has ever been full of grief.  I do believe my heart has been full of joy.  

I like the saying above by that great thinker and spiritual leader Buddha.  I do think the way is in the heart.  The way can be whatever you want it to be.  The way to live a good life.  The way to find happiness.  The way to whatever higher power you believe in - if you believe in one.

It is important there is more than that in the heart, though.  There is joy.  There is love.  Maybe those are synonyms for "the way," as well.  Another thing is that the groove is also in the heart. As shared by that great thinker and spiritual leader Deee Lite

Fog

All action takes place, so to speak, in a kind of twilight, 

which like a fog or moonlight, often tends to make things 

seem grotesque and larger than they really are.

~ Karl Von Clausewitz

- - - - -

The other day I was talking to Leslie and told her about relating a story to Sally.  I don't remember the details, but in telling Leslie what I told Sally I quoted something Leslie had said.

Leslie:  I didn't say that.

Me:  Are you sure?

Leslie:  Yes.  I think maybe you said that to yourself.

Me:  Really?

Leslie:  Yes, in your head.  I didn't say it.

And I realized she was probably right.  I probably did reformulate what had happened so it flowed better or made a more interesting story.  I am sure I do that sometimes.  It sounds like something I would do.  Of course, I'm not sure if I got the above interaction down exactly right, either.  I think I have a fictional memory.

Everynight

Life is too short to have anything but delusional notions about yourself.

~ Gene Simmons

- - - - -

As I have gotten older, not only have I realized that I cannot rock and roll all night and party every day, but I don't want to rock and roll all night and party every day.  I don't even want to rock and roll every other night and party two days a week.

When I get even older, I might enjoy rocking (chair) and rolling (wheelchair) every day if I need it.  But not all night.  I believe I will continue to want to potty every day.

Salt

A day without an argument is like an egg without salt.

~ Angela Carter

- - - - -

How come salt and pepper got to be privileged over other spices, herbs and seasonings?  What is it that makes that such a special dichotomy?  And why only two?  What if there were three?  Or seven?  I think this speaks to the simplicity of American life.  Salt to preserve (or persevere which you get by rearranging the letters in preserve) and pepper to spice things up, but not too much.  That's the way we are here, I guess.  Or the way we were when the first salt and pepper shakers were created by that home accoutrement couple the Shakers.  Salt and Pepper. 

Not really.  I think the first salt and pepper shakers were created by the same guy who created the Mason jar.  Mr. Mason.  Can't remember, but I think Perry was his first name.  

Perry Mason.  Pepper - the character from Police Woman.  I am having a combination of TV flashbacks and kitchenry daydreams.  Which is ironic since we didn't even have a TV in our kitchen when I was growing up.  We had a Victrola, though.  No, wait.  I'm thinking of Velveeta.  Like that kids' story, The Velveeta Rabbit.

(pause)

Sometimes my mind takes a little walk on its own and I'm not always quite sure where we're headed.  It's a fun adventure as long as we always come back home again.

Beginnings

It's one of nature's ways that we often feel closer to distant generations 

than to the generation immediately preceding us.

~ Igor Stravinsky

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The other day Leslie and I were somewhere and we overheard a young woman say to another young woman, "The way my grandparents met is an unfortunate story."  I thought that would make an EXCELLENT opening line to a novel.

And it reminded me of the time I heard my Grandma Boettcher tell about how she met my Grandpa Boettcher.  She said, "Oh, my friend at the time, she didn't like that I dated your grandpa at all.  He drove by in his car and offered me a ride and I said yes.  She was so angry about that." 

"Why?" I asked.

"Well, because she was dating your grandpa at the time," my grandmother replied.

Grandparents

Never have children, only grandchildren.

~ Gore Vidal

- - - - -

My grandparents lived on a farm near Rake, Iowa for most of my kid years.  I loved being there.  I didn't love going there because it was a long drive (like 3 hours or something!!) and I used to get car sick.

Anyway, a while ago when I drove there, I told Leslie the farm was about "two miles" from town.  When I got there, my guess is that the farm was about 1/4 mile from town now.  It WAS 2 miles when I was a kid, however.  Well, if you use the "Kid Leg Length Conversion Chart," that is.

Fashion

Humility and knowledge in poor clothes excel pride and ignorance in costly attire.

~ William Penn

- - - - -

People put too much emphasis on clothing.  I mean, I'm all for preventing nudity in most cases, but does it matter so much what one wears?  Little kids wearing mismatched clothes are great.  Grown up kids wearing mismatched clothes are criticized or mocked.  Why is matching better?  I don't know, but 'round here it seems to matter.  Okay and it matters to me sometimes, too.  Sometimes I wonder what people where thinking when they got dressed when I see someone mismatched (usually myself walking past a display window).

I think that they should make a line of clothing for older women called "Grannymals."  They would be like Garanimals, but for oldsters - matching made easy.  Although a lot of grannies can be fashionable without ready-matched apparel.  There might be a more urgent need for "Grampymals," but it doesn't sound as much like "Garanimals."

Humor

The problem with having a sense of humor is often that 

people you use it on aren't in a very good mood.

~ Lou Holtz

- - - - -

Leslie worries that sometimes I post everything she says and that it might cast her in a negative light.  I don't think so at all.  One time our friend Eleanor shared that her friend, Nora Ephron told a story about Eleanor that Eleanor didn't necessarily appreciate Nora sharing.  Nora's response was, "Everything is copy."

I wish I could live and write that way, but sometimes I don't.  Sometimes I let things go even if I know they are interesting or hilarious.  I try to be sensitive to others.  If there is something questionable, I ask the person if I can share it.  The following is just one example of how sensitive I can be.

Me:  Please can I post that moderately offensive thing you said?

Leslie:  No!  You have to be int he right mood to get my humor.  And some people are really religious.

Me:  "Religious" isn't really a mood.

See?  I didn't blog what she said.  I'm all kinds of sensitive to the wishes of others.

Mail

If you want something, it will elude you.  If you do not want something, you will get ten of it in the mail.

~ Anna Quindlen

- - - - -

Leslie and I don't necessarily agree on what God is.  Which is okay.  I think God can be whatever each person wants.  In my case, God has an excellent sense of humor.  Look at some of the people around you and you will know that it is true.

God also plays pranks.  The other day I had a horrible day at work.  I came home and a letter I had written wasn't picked up by the mail carrier.  This happens more than infrequently at my house.  The mail carrier doesn't pick up the mail.  Or doesn't get picked up until VERY late (like after 7 p.m.).

I was angry.  I opened the mailbox to see if there was delivered mail and the carrier just left my outgoing letter.  There was no mail delivered.  And when I opened the mailbox, my letter fell down the crack between my front step and the house.  It is irretrievable.  Unless I remove the front step.  Or burn down the house.  Neither of which is my plan.

I'm sure it seemed like a funny joke to God.  The chances of it falling just so were pretty miniscule.  But it happened.

It didn't make my day get any better, but I did think, "Michelle, if that's the worst thing that happens to you today, your life isn't all that bad."

So, even when God plays pranks, there are lessons to be learned if we are open to learning them.  In this case, the lesson is clear.  I need to move to a different house.

Mail

Every once in a while someone will mail me a single popcorn kernel that didn't pop.  I'll get out a fresh kernel, tape it to a piece of paper and mail it back.

~ Orville Redenbacher

- - - - -

I have the same house number as someone's office at the College of Veterinary Medicine.  Sometimes I get mail that is stuff like this.  For a second I get all excited - I'm not sure why.  I have neither space nor desire for baby chicks.  I guess it's just that it's mail very out of the ordinary for me.

My usual mail consists of bills or ads or Dwell magazine or Bon Appetit magazine or The Oxford American magazine or order forms for baby monkeys.

Town

I spent a year in that town one Sunday.

~ George Burns

- - - - -

In Ames there is a store called "Drug Town."  Not just in Ames.  Those stores are other places, too.  In addition to drugs, they have magazines, greeting cards, candles, ISU merchandise, and other miscellany.  I like Drug Town.

However, if there was a community named "Drug Town" I would not want to live there.  I'm guessing it would have a pretty bad reputation.  That said, I also wouldn't want to live in "Funky Town."  I don't think I'm funky enough to fit in.

Life

Life is the fire that burns and the sun that gives light.  Life is the wind and rain and the thunder in the sky.  Life is matter and is earth, what is and what is not, and what beyond is in Eternity.

~ Seneca

- - - - -

I kind of like telling other people what to do.  Well, maybe not what to do, but what to think.  Well, not exactly what to think, but I like to give them things to think about.  To ask questions.  To help them find their own answers.  We each have our own answers.  Sometimes it's just tough to cut through the muck and find them.

I would like to get paid to be a life skills coach.  "Don't be a dumbass.  There's your life skills tip of the day."  That's the kind of wisdom I would impart.

(pause)

I probably wouldn't get paid much.

Travel

A cloud does not know why it moves in just such a direction and at just such a speed...  it feels an impulsion... this is the place to go now.  But the sky knows the reasons and the patterns behind all clouds and you will know, too, when you lift yourself high enough to see beyond horizons.

~ Richard Bach

- - - - -

Traveling is fun for me.  And I like flying.  I like airports.  Well, if I'm not too rushed, I like airports.  It is the best place to eavesdrop because people are loud there.  You hear about their travels, their families, their business.  You learn a lot about their dispositions in the few moments (or hours) you share with them.

On my last trip, I was sitting next to the phone charging station, which meant I was sitting near privileged people.  Which, many people who are able to fly are privileged to begin with.  Anyway, I was next to a not very nice woman and her boyfriend.  He must have said, "I'm sorry," at least twenty times in the half hour or forty-five minutes we were there.  Maybe more than that.  At one point I overheard the following...

Him:  I'll go get you Chapstick from that Body Shop.

Her:  Okay.  I'm just going to sit here and eat chocolate and read.

Now, that would be pretty funny except neither of them laughed.  And he did go get her Chapstick.  And she did sit there and eat chocolate and read.  I shan't judge their relationship, though.  If they are happy, that is good.

Of course maybe she had a lip issue and that is why she was sort of rude to him.  And maybe once she got her Chapstick she became a very nice person.  I don't know because I was listening to This American Life by the time he got back.

Roadtrip

If you don't know where you are going, any road will get you there.

~ Lewis Carroll

- - - - -

I love road trips.  I like to drive and see what there is to see and take my time and make stops when I see interesting things.  And there are interesting things all over the place.  And beautiful things.  Funny and curious things.  Even sorta scary things.  And I enjoy almost all of them.

When I was a little kid I used to get car sick.  So did Erik.  That made road trips not so much fun.  I remember we had a little bag of special toys that we only played with when we were going on car trips - usually to visit my grandparents in Rake, IA.  I remember that if I ever saw that special stuff when I was at home, I would get queasy.

I think that my parents were trying to create a bag of fun that would make our car trips go more quickly since we were kind of whiny about the car sick thing.  Instead they created a bag of nausea triggers.  Oh well, you can't win them all.  I do however know some people who can whine them all.  They're buckets of joy, let me assure you.

Sticks

There are only two mantras, yum and yuck.  Mine is yum.

~ Tom Robbins

- - - - -

I like this art.  It is made out of a whole bunch of Popsicle sticks.  It reminds me of summer.  It reminds me of color and sweetness and cool in the midst of heat.

I wonder why there aren't things called Momsicles.  Seems like they could exist.  Why not?  It would be interesting to see how they would be different.  Would they have different flavors?  Different colors?  I could almost guarantee that they would have a different shape.

Wind

Kites rise highest against the wind, not with it.

~ Winston Churchill

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I really wish people wouldn't post, "Like this puppy if you are in favor of animal adoption." Or "Like this quote if you are against cancer in children."  Or "Like this rainbow if you are in favor of unicorns."  I appreciate even less when people post, "If you don't share this post in three seconds with 1.2 million people, you are going to face huge personal failure and tragedy next Thursday."

Why do they do that?  I'm all for awareness and activism, but is my liking a puppy really going to help the animals in the world?  And THREATENING me with person harm?!  What kind of philanthropic work is that?

I do realize that posting something on Facebook is a really super easy way of pretending to be engaged or involved, but make it your own business.  Don't bully me into blindly following along like some kind of sheep or groupthink zombie.  That isn't the way the change the world.

Please share this blog post with everyone you know if you agree.  And if you disagree, you are wrong and bound to face a lot of difficulty in life.

(pause)

You had to know something like that was coming, right?

Temperance

Temperance is a tree which has for its root very little contentment, 

and for its fruit calm and peace.

~ Buddha

- - - - -

I recently watched Ken Burns' documentary on prohibition.  It was amazing.  It talked about all of the social issues of the time - not just the bootleggers and the gangsters.  It talked about women's issues and children's issues and issues of immigration and families and education and so on and so forth.

I learned that public water fountains were a result of the temperance movement.  Who knew?  I never thought about why we had public water fountains.  I like learning things.

It is interesting that temperance means moderation, but is associated with prohibition.  I think a lesson learned is that all things in moderation might be more successful than prohibition.  People want what they cannot have - or so popular wisdom would have us believe.  

I don't know that that is always true, though.  I am pretty sure I can't have the ruby slippers from the Wizard of Oz or smallpox or be the Prime Minister of Antarctica, but I don't want those things. 

Cereal

Like religion, politics and family planning, 

cereal is not a topic to be brought up in public.  

It's too controversial.

~ Erma Bombeck

- - - - -

I like how they have different cereals for different holidays.  Lucky charms for St. Patrick's Day, Trix for Easter, Count Chocula & Frankenberry & Booberry for Halloween and Alpha Bits for September 8th.

Pranks

The trick is not how much pain you feel, but how much joy you feel.

~ Erica Jong

- - - - -

I love April Fool's Day.  This year I'm not at work, so I may not play pranks on too many people.  We had a discussion at work the other day when Tiffany and Abby were trying to figure out pranks to play on Joe.  They had hidden some tuna in his office, but were trying to come up with other ideas.  

I like it when people get into prank battles.  Because then I can help both sides and watch the action play out without being at risk.  I can even play pranks and someone else gets blamed.  Once you get labeled a prankster, you are destined to be blamed for all kinds of things.  

Like when Sally blamed me for blasting the volume on her radio.  I never did that.  I just always set her radio to NPR.  Or when Heather thought I rearranged the furniture in her office.  I didn't do that.  Or when my parents though I rearranged the labels on the canned goods and replaced the jelly filling in a doughnut with mustard.  Okay, I guess I did those things.

I think my favorite joke to play was when we used to visit my grandparents' farm and my brother and cousin would want to play and hide and seek.  I have always been an excellent hider (except in that recurring dream I have where robbers break into our home and I hide under a coffee table.  Stupid!).  Anyway, I think I liked hiding from Erik and Tamara because not only was it fun to see them get frustrated, but it also helped me develop an important life skill.  You never know when you might need to evade capture.