Tomatoes

The man who can't visualize a horse galloping on a tomato is an idiot.

~ Andre Breton

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So this summer we are having some luck with our tomatoes. However, I have one tomato plant that I was especially proud of. I think it is nearly six feet tall. It is green and huge and beautiful. However, while it has blooms, it has no tomatoes. The other plants are all three feet or under and all have multiple tomatoes on them. The smallest plant in fact probably has more than a dozen tomatoes on it.

I did some looking at found out that you don't really want a six or seven foot tall tomato plant. When they get that big all the energy and nutrients and water go to support the stems, stalks, leaves, etc. and there isn't enough left over for the fruit.

That made me think about how people are kind of like that. There are some that stand out and put on a great show and get a lot of attention, but actually produce nothing. Then there are the less eye-grabbing and attention-seeking people who do the work and actually produce things as a result.

So, I pruned the giant tomato plant in hopes that it will be more productive. In the same way, when I see unproductive people I will "prune" them. I mean, not literally. 

Probably not literally. 

Wrong

The secret to being wrong isn't to avoid being wrong. The secret is being willing to be wrong. The secret is realizing that wrong isn't fatal.

~ Seth Godin

- - - - -

 This is a green anole. You think it is a brown anole but it is a green anole that is brown.

Anatole

I just got tired of playing parlor games.

~ Henry Rollins

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Remember yesterday's blog post with this picture and this quote? Well, I wrote it and then realized it didn't end up where I intended it to. I still liked it enough to publish it, but now I'm going to include what I was originally going to write.

You know those ice breaker and team builder games where you have to stand in a circle and do a motion and then say something about yourself that starts with the same letter as your first name? Like Laughing Leslie or Lazy Lily? Well, I bet if you are an Anatole named Anatole that everyone always expects you to say "Annoyed Anatole" because of the look on your face and the fact that your name starts with "An". Instead, you might want to be Alluring Anatole or Ambidextrous Anatole, but people have already decided who you are. Also if people don't take the time to get to know you and you are a bit shy or stand-offish because of negative experiences with people in social settings in the past they might think you should be called "A**hole Anatole."

That's why I simultaneously hate ice breakers and also am glad I'm not named Anatole.

 

Drive-In

But it wasn't all roses for the Pig Stands. Competition was encroaching. By the mid-fifties, America had entered a new era of drive-ins. Sonic, which opened in Oklahoma in 1953, offered an even more expedient experience. Customers placed orders into speaker boxes, and food was quickly ushered out to be consumed on premises or taken out. Drive-in restaurants became more functional places than weekend hangouts.

~ Daniel Vaughn

- - - - -

They have lots of drive ins, but I don't see as many drive-outs. 

(pause)

And there are some things we should probably be trying to drive out right now.

Swimming

The water doesn't know how old you are.

~ Dara Torres

- - - - -

And you also don't know how old the water is. Or if it's stagnant and gross. Well, it probably isn't if it has an aerator in it like this pond did. I try not to let Lily swim in stagnant and gross water. I try not to let Leslie do that either.

I'm a helper.
 

Begging

Never stand begging for that which you have power to earn.

~ Miguel de Cervantes

- - - - -

I wonder if dogs think of themselves as "begging" when they beg for food. Maybe they think of themselves as saying, "Please pass the pork chop you are eating." Or "I am simply reminding you I'm here in case you can't finish that, my friend."

I actually wonder if dogs think of themselves at all.

 

Teach

When one teaches, two learn.

~ Robert Heinlein

- - - - -

I don't know why we teach dogs to fetch. They can't carry groceries in. Teach your kids to fetch. It will provide a bigger pay off in the long term. But teach them to fetch with their hands not their mouths. Especially if you pay for any kind of orthodonture.

Perspective

If we experienced life through the eyes of a child, everything would be magical and extraordinary. Let our curiosity, adventure, and wonder of life never end.

~ Akiane Kramarik

- - - - -

I agree with this quote, but I also think we should try to experience things through the ears of a child. For example, in a recent conversation with my nephew Zak, he said that he had been listening to a lot of "pirate music." I was not familiar with that genre, but then Kirk explained it to me. They had been listening to the Irish music of my childhood. My dad used to listen to the Irish Rovers, the Clancy Brothers, Tommy Makem, etc.  

I was caught totally off-guard. Zak was exactly right. Those Irish guys DID sound like singing pirates.

Kids are geniuses. 

I still don't think we should let them drive, though.

Tangled

I'm nothing if not a tangled, colorful ball of contradictions

~ Glennon Doyle Melton

- - - - -

As the old saying goes, "My what a tangled web we weave when we would weave a tangled web woodchuck wood."

Quilt

We stitch together quilts of meaning to keep us warm and safe, with whatever patches of beauty and utility we have on hand.

~ Anne Lamott

- - - - -

I just learned that "bee" is another word for a party of social event. I hope people start having:

Birthday Bees

Engagement Bees

Baby Bees

Bachelor Bees / Bachelorette Bees

Holiday Bees

Cocktail Bees

Garden Bees

Surprise Bees

Tea Bees

Costume Bees

Engagement Bees

Housewarming Bees

Block Bees

Graduation Bees

Pool Bees

Cast Bees

I've actually seen some garden bees now that I think about it. 

Tree

Love is like a tree. It grows of its own accord, it puts down roots into our whole being.

~ Victor Hugo

- - - - -

Love IS like a tree, Victor Hugo. In LOTS of ways. Consider the following:

Love can make you feel safe.

A tree can make you feel safe (though not in a lightning storm).

Love can make you feel warm.

A tree can make you feel warm if you chop it down and burn it.

Love can make you nervous.

A tree can make you nervous if it looks like those trees in The Wizard of Oz.

Love has four letters.

Tree has four letters.

You can symbolize Love with a heart.

You can symbolize a tree with a heart. (but people will think you're talking about love)

Love has an E in it.

A tree has an E in it. And another E.

I think that sums it up.

Toys

Prayer of the Selfish Child

Now I lay me down to sleep,

I pray the Lord my soul to keep.

And if I die before I wake,

I pray the Lord my toys to break. 

So none of the other kids can use 'em...

Amen.

~Shel Silverstein

 

Busy

Beware the barrenness of a busy life.

~ Socrates

- - - - -

I am certainly a person who can get caught up being busy. I like finishing things which means I have to first start them and then continue to work on them. It's not always in my best interest, but it's how I am sometimes.

Like this blog post. I opened it since it was a draft I had saved. When I did, the image above was here along with just this:

Ze

Apparently something came along that I HAD to attend to. I assume I was about to type "Zebra" but who knows? 

(pause)

If I wasn't so busy that day, this would probably be a better blog post.

Educator

 

Leaves

... and that, in the end, the most interesting people always leave.

~ Paul Coelho

- - - - -

 My mentor Ginny once told me, "As soon as you think - on a regular basis - that you know better than your supervisor, that is when it's time to look for a new job." She is very wise. Also, this is the nicest way anyone has ever told me to shut up and quit complaining so much.

Bridge

Mistakes are the usual bridge between inexperience and wisdom.

~ Phyllis Theroux

- - - - -

It's sad to me when dogs cross the rainbow bridge. I'm sad that they died. I'm also sad that they're colorblind and can't see the rainbow.

Loons

I am no more lonely than the loon on the pond that laughs so loud.

~ Ursula K. LeGuin

- - - - -

I don't know what this quote means, but I wonder if it means that she is never lonely. I have very rarely been lonely. I like being alone. I find myself to be pretty good company. 

I like being alone even more with my dog. Or with someone else if it's someone I like.

Crown

The crown must constantly earn citizens' appreciation, respect, and trust.

~ Felipe VI of Spain

- - - - -

We're not royalty, so we don't need a crown. Not that we think "royalty" really makes sense anymore. Except the "royal we." We still enjoy that.

Greetings

It is terribly rude to tell people their troubles are boring.

~ Lemony Snickett

- - - - -
I love it when our dog runs to say hello to me. I love her so much, and I think that she loves me, too. She is such a great dog. Although she can sometimes be a bit rude. Like when she is in the middle of a conversation with her friend Tippy and runs away to see me without saying goodbye or concluding the conversation she was in the middle of.

I might be more worried about her manners except Tippy sometimes pees in Lily's general direction when they're at the fence talking, so I guess a little bit of rudeness is just how they've defined the nature of their friendship.

Time

You can't make up for lost time. You can only do better in the future.

~ Ashley Ormon

- - - - -

I know a lot of people like time capsules. I actually prefer time tablets because they have a longer shelf life and can hold a larger dose of time. 

Names

Once you label me, you negate me.

~ SorenKierkegaard

- - - - -

Michelle Pfeiffer's first name is not really "Michelle".  It's "RowdyRoddy."

Horse

No one can teach riding so well as a horse.

~ C. S. Lewis

- - - - -

The little toy horse on the merry-go-round spinning top knew that if she decided to lie down that the top would not work. She rarely did this, but on rare occasions where her demands for justice were ignored, she would take action. She would oblige those who used to plaything to stop spinning, address her behavior by addressing her demands for equity and peace, and then return upright so that the toy would work again.

At those times, she smiled and thought to herself "I am a horse to be reckoned with."

Taste

This is the strangest life I have ever known.

~ Jim Morrison

- - - - -

Taste is personal. Different people like different things. Like the other day I saw someone promoting their kids selling danishes. They had three flavors: peanut butter, cinnamon, and strange. 

Then I re-read it. Initially I was relieved because that third flavor was "orange" not "strange." Then I was a little sad because how often do you get a chance to try a pastry marketed as "strange"?

Fence

The only fence against the world is a thorough knowledge of it.

~ John Locke

- - - - - -

I know that the Olympics has fencing, but it is sort of sword fighting. It seems like a more practical competition to see who can build the best fence instead of who can fight the best with a sword. Of course the Olympics is supposed to be about tearing down fences, so forget what I said.

Also, I don't know that the Olympics is really about tearing down fences since a lot of people just cheer for people from their own side of the fence.

Swimming

Swimming is a confusing sport because sometimes you do it for fun and sometimes you do it to not die, and when I'm swimming sometimes I'm not sure which one it is.

~ Demitri Martin

- - - - -

When I was little and almost drown, I experienced this dichotomy. I was swimming for fun at first and then not to die. And then swimming wasn't so fun for a while because I didn't know how to do it. And then I learned but I'm still not great at it. But when I went to an improv class and we had to pretend we were swimming I went ahead and pretended I knew what I was doing. I don't think anyone could tell I wasn't great at it. 

I may not be a strong swimmer, but I'm excellent at improv swimming.

 

Phone

Cell phones are so convenient that they're an inconvenience.

~ Haruki Murakami

- - - - -

Just when I think everything is fine, I have a software update on my phone.

Hound

In order to really enjoy a dog, one doesn't merely try to train him to be semi-human, the point of it is to open oneself to the possibility of becoming partly a dog.

~ Edward Hoagland

- - - - -

I wish that instead of "Send in the Clowns" it was "Send in the Hounds." I know that "Send in the Hounds" sounds like send in the dogs to attack or hunt down someone. The truth is, though, I'd rather be attacked or hunted down by hounds than clowns. Any day. 
 

Hello.

Hello, it's me.

~ Adele & Kurstin Gregory Allen

- - - - -

Hello, it's me

I was wondering if you have something there for me to eat

I'm not picky...   anything

I think you're supposed to feed me

But I ain't had nothing

Hello, can you hear me?

                                                                                                                                                                    I'm here at the table dreaming about what you will feed to me

I'm so hungry, you see

I've forgotten how it felt before I was so this hungry

There's such a distance between us

And a million miles

Hello from the other side

I must've stared a thousand times

To tell you I'm hungry for all the food you don't share

But when I stare you never seem to quite care

Hello from the other side

At least I see your eyes lock mine

To tell me, "I'm sorry for food I won't share"

But it don't matter, it clearly doesn't tear you apart anymore

Hello, how are you?

It's so typical of me to beg for all your food, I'm sorry

I hope you eat well

Did you ever make a sandwich? I hear that they are really good

It's no secret the the both of us enjoy a yummy bite

So hello from the other side

I must have stared a thousand times

To tell you I'm hungry for all the food you don't share

But when I stare you never seem to quite care

Hello from the other side

At least I can say that I tried

To tell you I'm hungry for all the food you don't share

But when I stare you never seem to quite care anymore

Oooooooo

Anymore

Oooooooo

Anymore

Ooooooo

Anymore

Anymore

Hello from the other side

I must have stared a thousand times

To tell you I'm hungry for all the food you don't share

But when I stare you never seem to quite care

Hello from the other side

At least I can say that I tried

To tell you I'm hungry for all the food you don't share

But when I stare you never seem to quite care anymore

Toys

Those who play with the devils' toys will be brought by degrees to wield his sword.

~ R. Buckminster Fuller

- - - - -

I don't think kids should play with X-rated toys. Why are the X-Rated Men even a thing for kids?

Collaboration

 

Most great learning happens in groups. Collaboration is the stuff of growth.

~ Sir Ken Robinson

- - - - -

Ezra's birthday is today. He and I were having dinner the other night (along with a bunch of other people). I was asking him about his favorite foods. He listed a lot of them. I then was going to make up a joke about Spiderman's favorite foods (after Ezra's Uncle Mike gave him this Spiderman toy). 

Me: What is Spiderman's favorite food?

Ezra: (Thinking I was still asking about HIS favorite food) And French fries and ranch..."

Me: That's it! Ezra! What is Spiderman's favorite food?

Ezra: And pepperoni pizza--

Me: No, No. What is Spiderman--

Ezra: And chicken finge--

Me: No! Ezra - what is SPIDERMAN'S favorite food?

Ezra: Um... chicken fingers?

Me: NO. FRENCH FLIES AND RANCH!

Ezra: (blank stare)

Me: Get it?! He's a SPIDERman. So he eats flies - FRENCH flies. And ranch!

Ezra: ha.

Getting courtesy laughed by an almost four year old does NOT stifle my enthusiasm when I know we've come up with a great joke.

Waiting

Time waits for no one.

~ Folklore

- - - - -

Not true. Time waits for the person to wind the clock.

Or the person to put the batteries in the clock.

Basically, time waits for people to take care of the clocks.