Things

You can be a rooster one day and a feather duster the next.

~ Frank McManus

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My social media is cluttered with information about decluttering.

Zak

Children are not a distraction from more important work. They are the most important work.

~ John Trainer

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Zak: 3+3 = elephant, 4+4 = red, 5+5 = school bus

That sums it up.

Get it? Sums?

Anyway, Zak really said that stuff.

Education

When Sullivan got home, she looked up 'perverted' in the dictionary and found that it said, "turned out of one's natural course."

"Well, frankly," Dr. Sullivan says, "that didn't seem such a bad thing to me. In fact, I thought, wasn't that what education was all about anyway? To rescue us from our natural inclinations and to steer us in the ways of the best that had been thought and discovered and created over the long course of civilization?

~ Margaret Sullivan quoted by Elizabeth McCracken

- - - - -

All education is some sort of perversion, then.

Weirdos

All the best people are mad.

~ Elly Griffiths

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I love the weirdos in my life. And they're all weirdos. That's why I keep them around. Normalos are boring, and I don't learn as much from them.

 

Buddies

Hey you, you're holding onto too many bags. You can't do it all. You can't be it all. You can't carry it all. Do what you can. Be who you are. Only carry what's important. And put the rest of the bags down. 

~ Amy Weatherly

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 When two buddies go hiking together, they each need their own equipment. They have to be prepared. They should probably stick pretty close together. And if one buddy carries the other buddy's stuff the entire way, the second buddy better be a dog or a child or someone who can't actually carry their own stuff.

I admit that I'm no hiking expert. I am, however, something of a buddy expert.

Bridges

Sometimes you get the best light from a burning bridge.

~ Don Henley

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What if you are in hell and the only way to leave is a bridge? Based on the images in our society, that bridge is bound to be burning. Or what if burning bridges is the only way out of a situation? What then, Mr. Smart Aleck? You don't know what to say now, do you?

God

This, Nelson remembers, is what he has always disliked about Evangelicals - the way they talk about God as if He's "God Smith" who lives next door.

~ Elly Griffiths

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If God lived next door to me, I hope he'd help me with the lawn. It's looking pretty rough.
 

Saltines

I know people that could serve me canned tuna and Saltine crackers and have me feel more at home at their table than some people who can cook circles around me. The more you try to impress people, generally, the less you do.

~ Alton Brown

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My dad used to eat kipper snacks and Saltine crackers. I don't remember Alton Brown coming around all that much, but when he did, he certainly seemed to feel at home. 
 

Pop

Pop Art looks out into the world. It doesn't look like a painting of something, it looks like the thing itself.

~ Roy Lichtenstein

- - - - -

Me: Let's blow this pop stand! I mean popsicle stand!

Leslie: What's a pop stand?

Me: (long pause) What's a popsicle stand?! 

Eyes

When your eyes are busy, but your mind is free...

~ from the business proposal for Audible

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Trust your eyes the way you trust a manipulative friend. They tell you some things that are true, but you have to think about the information you're getting and assess it for yourself. 

Also, why do you have a manipulative friend?

 

Reading

Reading should not be presented to children as a chore or duty. It should be offered as a precious gift.

~ Kate DiCamillo

- - - - -

Leslie was sitting in a room reading the other evening. 

Me: Hi. Do you mind if I read my book, too?

She looked at me strangely.

Leslie: Of course not. 

Then she got all hostile when I blasted my Audible version of The Outsiders and told me to turn it off.

Make up your mind, Leslie!!

 

Meat

Heaven sends us good meat, but the devil sends us cooks.

~ David Garrick

- - - - -

Woman 1: She didn't like the meal last night. All they had was meat, so --

Woman 2: They own a butcher shop. What did she expect?

Woman 1: I know, but you know how she is. I'm just trying to say --

Woman 2: They sell MEAT.

Woman 1: I know.

Woman 2: For their LIVELIHOOD.

Sidenote: There is nothing in the world that can simultaneously make meatier meals, perfect gravy, AND an appetising beverage.

Empathy

Before you criticize a man, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when you criticize him, you'll be a mile away and have his shoes.

~ Steve Martin

- - - - -

If you can really understand another person - what they've been through, how they think, how their life has unfolded - then you can probably find where they hide their money. 

Cheese

I'm lactose intolerant, but if you told me I couldn't have cheese ever again, I would slap you in your face.

~ Retta

- - - - -

EE words we could say instead of "cheese" when we're getting our photos taken:

snEEr

pEE

wEEpy

bEEts

snEEze

scEEch

squEEze

chEEseburgers

blue chEEse

cheddar chEEse

Swiss chEEse

You're welcome.

Stands

Not all people will want to purchase a container of five tomatoes.

~ John Murray, "Starting a Roadside Farm Stand"

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You have to roadside stand for something, or you will roadside stand fall for anything.

Not sure what that means, but pretty sure it is quite profound.

Domestication

Eventually, the bed became very much theirs. A DIY success. But at the time, a rusted bolt in the rail had led to a hacksaw and an afternoon of clattering brass dismemberment that had somehow echoed her anxieties about the domestic arrangement -- its vague promise of deformation.

~ Mark Prins

- - - - -

I saw a social media post the other day where someone listed their life achievements - I think on their anniversary. It included things like:

5 different homes

2 wonderful kids

2 dogs 

1 DNP

A couple of things... First, apparently, the dogs are not wonderful. Second, I swore it said, "1 DNR" which I took to mean "do not resuscitate" (as opposed to Department of Natural Resources). I had a lot of curiosity about that. 

Why one DNR and not both? 

Who asked for the DNR? 

Why? 

It's none of my business why, but then why did DNR make the list?

Then I reread the post. I was still happy about their achievements, but far less curious about them.

Birds

Birds are indicators of the environment. If they are in trouble, we know we'll soon be in trouble.

~ Roger Tory Peterson

- - - - -

There have been two birds fighting out in the yard for the past three or four minutes. I don't know why. 

Seeing them makes me think about how we also fight with one another, and those watching may not know why. Observers don't know if our fights are about heartbreak or greed or if we are fighting simply because our emotions out of control. Just as I am watching the birds, the neighbors watching me don't always know why I flap my arms and try to peck at people in my yard.

Behavior is a mystery.

Education

Education is the movement from darkness to light.

~ Allan Bloom

- - - - -

I was going through my Blog folder where I keep notes for my blog. I came across one that said this:

Location, location, location.

Education, education, edication.

I didn't remember what that was about, so I looked up "edication." The first site I went to said, "Did  you actually mean education or ethoxyethane?"

I'm pretty sure it wasn't that second one.

Unicorn

He's not a unicorn.

~ Keri Russell on "The Diplomat"

- - - - -

He's not even regular corn.

~ Michelle Boettcher about the guy Keri Russell is talking about on "The Diplomat"

 

Morning

I can see the light of a clear blue morning

I can see the light of a brand-new day

I can see the light of a clear blue morning

Everything's gonna be all right

It's gonna be okay

~ Dolly Parton

- - - - - -

I love the song "By the Light of a Clear Blue Morning" by Dolly Parton. I maybe love the song "I Don't Want to Throw Rice at Her (I want to throw rocks at her)" a bit more. I think the songs show Dolly's range as a creative songwriter. My preference regarding her catalog of work shows my desire to seek revenge.

And, please beware. It is there. 

I don't always act on it, but my desire to seek revenge is always there.

Have a good day.

Looking

A good snapshot keeps a moment from running away.

~ Eudora Welty

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I love these two goobers. 

Even if they don't look at the camera when I take their picture.

(pause)

Maybe even because of that.

Weirdos.

 

Interviews

In most cases, the best strategy for a job interview is to be fairly honest because the worst thing that can happen is that you won't get the job and will spend the rest of your life foraging for food in the wilderness and seeking shelter underneath a tree or the awning of a bowling alley that has gone out of business.

~ Lemony Snickett

- - - - -

Being "fairly honest" in an interview is good advice. Example below:

Interview question: Tell us about your leadership skills.

Fairly Honest Reply: I try to always work with my teams in a collaborative way to achieve the goals that we have set. I solicit feedback and am as transparent as possible as we or others make decisions that impact the work of our team.

Completely Honest Reply: (start with a fairly honest reply above). But also, when I was on the safety patrol in elementary school, I was much more dictatorial. I mean, those children's safety was in MY hands. They needed to listen to me! I was responsible for getting them to and from school safely every day. They can't stop to pet a dog or pick up a nickel when they're crossing the street. They needed to get the hell across the street to safety! Sometimes, I yelled. It was because I took my work so seriously. I mean, in that context, I really was the boss of them. The boss of their safety.

Reading

Teaching your dog to "read" is an advanced trick that will surprise and impress your friends and family.

~ The American Kennel Club

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It also surprises my dog that I am teaching her to read. If teaching her to read is looking at pictures and asking her not to chew on the books and magazines.

Which, honestly, is probably how most of us were taught to read.

 

Children

Don't you ever ask them "Why?"

If they told you would cry...

~ Graham Nash

- - - - -

He was only a small child when they first sent him out to mow the lawn. They didn't give him a real mower, just a little plastic toy. Later that night they reprimanded him for doing such a poor job. They thought it would build  strength of character. 

They were wrong, it built a desire for revenge.

He was a patient boy who grew to be a patient man. He waited until they were old and decrepit. Then, when the time was right and their backs were aching and their bodies wracked with the other pains of old age, he snuck over to their house and put 13,291 plastic forks in their yard. 

Everyone had a good laugh. The local paper even sent a photographer and that photograph was on the front page of the local paper.

When they called him to come and help them remove the forks, all they got was a voice mail message that said, "Forks in the road are nothing compared to forks in the lawn." They never saw him again.

Years later, on a quiet beach in Belize, the grandfather would tell his grandchildren, you don't need to mow a lawn to have character. That's why I live on the beach. The grandchildren didn't understand and soon thereafter put him in a retirement home where someone could look after him while they had a huge party at his beach house. One of the grandchildren considered their situation and asked, "Why does grandpa have all these plastic spoons and knives and no forks?"

The moral of the story is, children are awful to old people.

Eventually.

Writing

A writer, I think, is someone who pays attention to the world.

~ Susan Sontag

- - - - -

Me: There's a lot of wisdom in my blog.

Leslie: (laughing) Mm Hm.

Me: 

Leslie: I mean, that's why you started writing it, right?

Me: Yes, it's just the wisdom surprises me sometimes.

Leslie: (laughing)

Me:

Leslie:

Me:

(Sometimes there is power in the silence.)

(Sometimes there is just silence in the silence.)
 

Push

You have to push through every difficulty to achieve the goal.

~ Laila Gifty Akita

- - - - -

You know how people sometimes say to you, "KNOCK IT OFF!! YOU'RE REALLY STARTING TO PUSH MY BUTTONS!!!" and they seem all angry about it? They aren't angry at all. If they have buttons, they must be a robot and robots can't be angry, so don't worry about it.

And if they say, "KNOCK IT OFF!! YOU'RE REALLY STARTING TO PUSH MY BELLY BUTTON!!!" and they seem all angry about it, a good way to calm them down is to take a deep breath and tell them what Mom always used to say to us growing up -- "It's not a belly button, it's a navel."

That should do it.

Work

No great achievement is possible without persistent work.

~ Bertrand Russell

- - - - -

What if instead of Labor Day being a day we celebrated and appreciated the hard work of people... What if Labor Day was the only day of the year anyone worked?

(pause)

Chaos, that's what. That is not a good idea. Get to work on a better idea. That one was not good at all.
 

Below

As above, so below, as within, so without.

~ Alyson, Noel

- - - - -

I wish signs like this weren't necessary. This place is called an overLOOK not an overTHROW. Of course, if you wanted to take over the government and get rid of signs like this, that's a whole other kind of overthrow. As is a bad throw from the catcher to second base to stop the runner if the ball goes way over the second base player's head. I've done that sometimes, but I used to be pretty good at that throw. It's still my favorite play in baseball or softball.

(pause)

What were we talking about?

Going

It is a tremendous act of violence to begin anything. I am not able to begin. I simply skip what should be the beginning.

~ Rainer Maria Rilke

- - - - -

Often when I have to go on a trip - mainly a work trip - I get a lot of anxiety before I leave. Most of the time, once I get there, I'm fine. It has gotten worse as I have gotten older. Leslie said that maybe it's some leftover stuff from the pandemic. I know I like my house and the creatures that live there, so I know leaving them is not something I look forward to. It could be the pandemic thing. It could be because I'm so introverted. 

Anyway, I'd better get going, or I'll be late.

But what if I just skipped..?

 

Intention

It's just a matter of putting intention to intuition.

~ Will Guidara

- - - - -

The road to hell may be paved with good intentions, but I bet there are a lot of potholes in that road.