Children

Don't you ever ask them "Why?"

If they told you would cry...

~ Graham Nash

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He was only a small child when they first sent him out to mow the lawn. They didn't give him a real mower, just a little plastic toy. Later that night they reprimanded him for doing such a poor job. They thought it would build  strength of character. 

They were wrong, it built a desire for revenge.

He was a patient boy who grew to be a patient man. He waited until they were old and decrepit. Then, when the time was right and their backs were aching and their bodies wracked with the other pains of old age, he snuck over to their house and put 13,291 plastic forks in their yard. 

Everyone had a good laugh. The local paper even sent a photographer and that photograph was on the front page of the local paper.

When they called him to come and help them remove the forks, all they got was a voice mail message that said, "Forks in the road are nothing compared to forks in the lawn." They never saw him again.

Years later, on a quiet beach in Belize, the grandfather would tell his grandchildren, you don't need to mow a lawn to have character. That's why I live on the beach. The grandchildren didn't understand and soon thereafter put him in a retirement home where someone could look after him while they had a huge party at his beach house. One of the grandchildren considered their situation and asked, "Why does grandpa have all these plastic spoons and knives and no forks?"

The moral of the story is, children are awful to old people.

Eventually.