Nervous

I remember being onstage once when I didn't have fear: I got so scared I didn't have fear that it brought on an anxiety attack.



~ Carly Simon

 

- - - - -

 

It makes me nervous that everyone will be jealous that Carly Simon wrote that one song about me.  You know?  The song "Anticipation?"  I probably think that song is about me.  

 



Mean

God may be subtle, but he isn't plain mean.

~ Albert Einstein

- - - - -

Elliott and I have little conversations from time to time.  At least a couple a week.  We talk about things and the world and how people function (or try to function) in the world.  We make very astute observations.  All the time.  We talk about the nature of life and what is real and all that super-complex stuff.

Here is an example of one of our exchanges getting at the root of truth.  Elliott had just made a very important observation.  Then he said, "Oh, that might be mean."  I responded, "It might be mean and it might be true.  Sometimes those are the same thing."

We agreed.  So it must be one of those ultimate truths.

Deer

An army of deer would be more formidable commanded by a lion than an army of lions commanded by a stag.

~ Proverb

- - - - -


That's because an army of lions would eat the stag.  An army of deer would only eat the lion if he was a dandelion.  And then, lets face it, of all the plants, a dandelion wouldn't be the best leader anyway.

Mabel

It is more important to know where you are going than to get there quickly.  

Do not mistake activity for achievement.

~ Mabel Newcomb

- - - - -

When I was a kid, at dinner, if my mom caught me with my elbows on the table, she would say,

Mabel, Mabel,
If you're able,
Get your elbows off the table.

This annoyed me on a number of levels - first and foremost was the fact that apparently my mother could not remember my name.

Flower

Earth laughs in flowers.

~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

- - - - -

"Why do you take so many pictures of flowers?" she asked.

"There is a story in every flower," I responded.  "A story of beauty and growth and persistence.  You can see the story in a beautiful bloom or a tattered petal.  Flowers are like life.  Some have better beginning and treatment and are going to thrive.  Others overcome obstacles and bring a hard-earned beauty to the world."

I paused dramatically.

"Plus flowers don't run away when you try to take their picture.

Bricks

,

Sometimes life hits you in the head like a brick.  Don't lose faith.

~ Steve Jobs

- - - - -

I like thinking about renovations.  I try to picture how rooms might look with different walls or windows or light.  Space matters.  Structure matters.  How we move about in our little pieces of the world matters.  When I was talking to Leslie about it, she just kept talking about her idea for a new book: The Cask of Grannymontillado.  

(pause)

She creeps me out sometimes.

Singing

You don't have to be singing about love all the time in order to give love to the people. You don't have to keep flashing those words all the time.

~ Jimi Hendrix

- - - - -

I wonder, when people see me driving by, if they think I am singing Baby Jesus songs when I'm actually singing Leonard Cohen.  It doesn't matter too much to me, but they are really two quite different kinds of songs.

Being

I never lose sight of the fact that just being is fun.

~ Katharine Hepburn

- - - - -

So, I had typed myself a note about the fact that "being" and "knowing" are different things.  But there was a typo.  Instead, I wrote, "Being and knowing ate different things."  My guess is that is probably true.  If Being and Knowing went to a restaurant together, being would probably order whatever the wait staff suggested whereas knowing would have done extensive research on what the best or most popular item on the menu was.  Then Knowing would order that.

"And whom would have the better meal?" you might ask.  Well, I would hope you wouldn't have to ask that question because it is grammatically incorrect.

Travel

I soon realized that no journey carries one far unless, as it extends into the world around us, it goes an equal distance into the world within.

~ Lillian Smith

- - - - -

I really like to travel.  I like to visit new places and see things that I haven't seen before.  Or see things that I have seen in pictures or on TV, but haven't seen in person.  I also like to see things that are unexpected.  Like the occasional zombie festival or state park or a historical marker.

I had a set of historical markers once.  But they only worked in my "The Mall of Washington, D.C." coloring book.

Seed

Think twice before you speak, because your words and influence will plant the seed of either success or failure in the mind of another.
~ Napoleon Hill 

- - - - -

Some seeds lie dormant for years before the grow into something.  Do they think and think about the time they are wasting waiting for their moment to come?  Do they stress about what they are missing or what they could be doing instead of waiting?  Do they have tremendous anxiety about what their futures hold?  Is their growth stunted by their worries?  Do they worry that they worry too much?  Do they weigh the benefits of BEing against the benefits of DOing?

No.  Seeds don't really have brains. 

Ranch



I live on a ranch in Utah for now, but I'm gonna move. I've got another ranch to move to, but its location is a secret. When I get there, I'm gonna plow the road in behind me.

~ Wilford Brimley

- - - - -

If my ranch was enemies with The Button Hole ranch, I would have my wranglers go over there with some brown paint and pain over the "o" and the "n."  Then, one of two things would happen - either the Button Hole ranch gang would think it was hilarious, OR they would be so intimidated by my clever wordplay that they would ask to be our friends instead of our enemies.  Or, I guess they might seek revenge.  Which is why I will NOT name my ranch "The Assassin Hole" ranch.  Even though you might think it was intimidating and would scare off other villain ranchers, it does leave you susceptible to wordplay revenge.

Also, does Wilford Brimley really need to live on a secret ranch?  I would not have guessed that.

Railroads

I have always loved to sit in ferry and railroad stations and watch the people, to walk on crowded streets, just walk along among the people, and see their faces, to be among people on street cars and trains and boats.
~ Ella R. Bloor

- - - - -

Leslie tried to tell me that "hobo" was not politically correct.  I asked what would be politically correct, "Vagrant Train Jumper?"  I also shared with her that I heard once in an interview that the hobo subculture is very violent.

"Why?"  she asked.

"Because, you can't just jump on a train or they'll shank you."

"What does that even mean?  Shank?" 

I explained that a shank is a kind of homemade knife.  Or so I thought.

"Why would they shank you?"

I thought for a moment and replied, "Because they want your stick and bandana."

"That really was politically incorrect," she said disdainfully.

"I'm sorry," I apologized.  "I meant, 'Because they really do want your luggage.'"

Sunlight

Touch seems to be as essential as sunlight.

~ Diane Ackerman

- - - - -

Sometimes it is difficult to tell the difference between sunrise and sunset.  Both can be brilliant and both can take your mind off of your troubles of the moment.  Both involve the sun.  Both involve the sky.  And your eyes.  Both involve change.  Both can involve dread.  Or hope.

I think when you really boil it down the difference is that sunrise is when the sun is rising while sunset is when it is setting. 

Cemetery

Being the richest man in the cemetery doesn't matter to me. Going to bed at night saying we've done something wonderful, that's what matters to me.

~ Steve Jobs

- - - - - -

If the places we buried people were made out of concrete, we might call them cementeries. 

Change

I read and walked for miles at night along the beach, writing bad blank verse and searching endlessly for someone wonderful who would step out of the darkness and change my life. It never crossed my mind that that person could be me.

~ Anna Quindlen

- - - - -

A lot can happen in a year.  A lot can happen in a moment.  Don't forget that.  A lot can also happen in a large flat area where they need more parking spaces built.

Life is crazy.

Wild

As one who has often felt this need, and who has found refreshment in wild places, I attest to the recreational value of wilderness. 

~ George Aiken

- - - - -

The other day I was typing the song in my head.  It was "Wild One" by Flo-Rida.  That song is in my head a lot.  Anyway, I accidentally typed "Wilde One" and realized that would be a really good song, too.  And maybe it wouldn't be so different.  I would imagine that Oscar Wilde might have enjoyed shutting down the clubs in his day, too.

Prairie

The prairie, in all its expressions, is a massive, subtle place, with a long history of contradiction and misunderstanding.  But it is worth the effort at comprehension.  It is, after all, at the center of our national identity.

~ Wayne Fields

- - - - -

Brad:  It was incredible.  I never would have guessed I would have spent that much time out on the prairie.  Or that I would have learned so much.  I mean, there was absolutely nothing out there.

Me:  Well, there was a little house.

Ham

He that but looketh on a plate of ham and eggs to lust after it hath already committed breakfast with it in his heart.

~ C. S. Lewis

- - - - -

Ham is not a very photogenic food.  Well, it kind of is when it is alive.

Now I'm sad about pig death.

And hungry for a ham sandwich.

And curious about why when someone wants attention, they call him or her "a ham."

And I hope you enjoy celebrating "Eat Country Ham" month.

Plants

Trees and plants always look like the people they live with, somehow.

~ Zora Neale Hurston

- - - - -

I went to talented and gifted camp (or so they told me, upon my arrival, I wasn't so sure) one summer.  We got to choose activities to do.  I did a photography activity where they taught you to do photography.  I don't remember a single things about that except that we walked past some of these things in the photo above and the photography teacher guy said that if you cooked them over a campfire they tasted just like corndogs.

I'm pretty sure he was lying.  I can't say for sure because I've never tried it.

I think it might have actually been some sort of hazing camp.

Mail

It seems a long time since the morning mail could be called correspondence.

~ Jacques Barzun

- - - - -

One man's junk mail is another man's junk mail.  I mean, seriously.  It is, right?

Quiet

The scattered tea goes with the leaves and every day a sunset dies.

~ William Faulkner

- - - - -

A quiet time is
When sun sets behind a tree
With no kids around.

Bridge

The sharing of joy, whether physical, emotional, psychic, or intellectual, forms a bridge between the sharers which can be the basis for understanding much of what is not shared between them, and lessens the threat of their difference.

~ Audre Lorde

- - - - -

A bridge isn't just a way to get from one place to the next.  It is also a way to get back again.  Sometimes people forget that.  They move ahead and go from here to there and overlook the fact that you can also go back.  Well, some people say you can never go back.  I think you can.  Is it because I believe in time travel?  No, it's because I believe a bridge is a two way street.  Or a two way walkway.  And also I believe in time travel.

Choices

I enjoy my life.

~ Kirk Boettcher

- - - - -

So, my brother posted that quote on his Facebook yesterday.  It was under a photo of Jared with Vegas (the dog, not the city).  And it got me to thinking...  How many people really do enjoy their lives?  Do I?

I didn't have to think about it for too long before I decided that I DO enjoy my life.  I remember having a conversation with my friend Kurt several years ago - maybe I've already blogged about this.  Anyway, I remember saying that it takes work to be happy.  You can be sad or angry with less effort.

Enjoying life takes effort, too.  It is an active choice.  I think it means you have to get out there and do something with it.  For some people it might mean playing with their dogs.  For others it could be reading a book.  For others it could be writing a book about people playing with their dogs.  For some dogs it could be sitting around playing poker while an artist paints you.

Food

We are indeed much more than what we eat, but what we eat can nevertheless help us to be much more than what we are.

~ Adelle Davis

- - - - -

Brad:  Are those Girl Scout Cookies?

Me:  Um...  No.  It is a speech recognition software program.

You might think that these things are not connected, but in Brad's defense, the box did look a very little tiny bit like Girl Scout Cookies.

Another thing that you think might not be connected are Skittles and cottage cheese.  You might think this is a great way to combine protein and fun, but it really isn't.  The first bite tastes a little bit like Trix cereal, but it's all downhill after that.

And the reason I used this picture with this blog post is because I didn't have a photo of cookies handy.  This was the only food photo I could easily access that I hadn't already used in another blog.

(pause)

I don't take a lot of food photos, apparently.

Zen

After enlightenment, the laundry.

~ Zen Proverb

- - - - -

Leslie:  I don't know why she was angry with me.

Me:  Maybe because you said, "Why'd you get chocolate all over yourself?!"

Leslie:  But I don't know why she did that.

Me:  I'm guessing it was an accident.  And she wasn't happy about it  And your comment didn't make her feel happier.

(pause)

Leslie:  Why did she do that?



Gardening

 Self-discipline is an act of cultivation. It require you to connect today's actions to tomorrow's results. There's a season for sowing a season for reaping. Self-discipline helps you know which is which.

~ Gary Ryan Blair

- - - - -

When I was a kid, our dad used to pay us a penny a minute to pull weeds in the garden.  This was great until I actually did the math.  Then it seemed like a rip off.  It translates today to about $2.42 an hour.  So it WAS a rip off.  Anyway, Erik figured out before I did that if you were lousy at pulling weeds (like you "accidentally" pulled up potato plants or stepped on carrot plants or whatever) you didn't have to weed anymore.

Your punishment was to sit in the shade and do nothing while the rest of us weeded.  Let me tell you something parents, time out is NOT a punishment if a kid has an imagination.  Obviously, Erik did.  He imagined that if he trollumped all the garden plants he wouldn't have to weed anymore.

Man...  if I had saved all the money I earned pulling weeds, I'd have like an extra $22 today.

Mellow

Autumn's the mellow time.

~ William Allingham

- - - - -

I like to think I put the "mellow" in "mellowdramatic."

Moody

I want to get a vending machine, with fun sized candy bars, and the glass in front is a magnifying glass. You'll be mad, but it will be too late.
~ Mitch Hedberg

- - - - -

 

Leslie:  Why were you cranky?

Me:  I don't know.

Leslie:  Why are you not cranky now?

Me:  Because I read my blog and it made me laugh out loud.

Looking

I went window shopping today! I bought four windows.

~ Tommy Cooper

- - - - -

Person to another person, "It looks cute in the window here, but would it look cute in our house?"

Now, that is a fine comment.  And a good thought about consumerism and being reflective before getting new things.

Except that I overheard this when these two people were looking through the window at newborns in a hospital.

Pad

If you believe you can, you probably can. If you believe you won't, you most assuredly won't. Belief is the ignition switch that gets you off the launching pad.

~ Denis Waitley

- - - - -

Until August of this year, I had never seen a real live frog on a real live lily pad.

(pause)

It looked pretty much like it looks on TV.

Aspiration

A noble man compares and estimates himself by an idea which is higher than himself; and a mean man, by one lower than himself. The one produces aspiration; the other ambition, which is the way in which a vulgar man aspires.

~ Marcus Aurelius

- - - - -

Aspiration is 99% perspiration and 1% ass.

Morning

 

When you arise int he morning, think of what a precious privilege it is to be alive - to breathe, to think, to enjoy, to love.

~ Marcus Aurelius



- - - - -

I try to be grateful in the morning.  Even if it is EARLY.  That is not simply because I know by the end of the day I will be ungrateful.  Which sometimes happens.  It is more to try and start on a positive note.  It's another day.  Another opportunity.  Another beginning.  The start of another adventure. 

When the sun comes up in the morning, it is a sign it is going to be a day. 

(pause)

Unless you live somewhere where the sun shines for 24 hours a day.  In that case, it is a sign it's going to be a LONG day.

Infinite

Beauty is but the sensible image of the Infinite. Like truth and justice it lives within us; like virtue and the moral law it is a companion of the soul.

~ George Bancroft

- - - - -

Infiniter is not a word.

(pause)

That seems right. 

Pretentious

It's quite pretentious, really, isn't it? The notion the audience is going to be interested in you for an hour and a half. Think too much about that and anxiety takes over.

~ Jean Dujardin

- - - - -

Hey.  How comes it's "pretentious" and not "pretendtious?"

Memory

I have a memory like an elephant.  In fact, elephants often consult me.

~ Noel Coward

- - - - -

Elizabeth:  How come you can always remember where the stickers and lollipops are in the doctor's office, but you forget what chores you were supposed to do?

Flower

The length of a film should be directly related to the endurance of the human bladder.

~ Alfred Hitchcock

- - - - -



Lelsie wanted to watch "The Great Dictator."  I suggested that we watch "The Exceptional Amusing in an Elderstatesmen Sort of way Marigold Very Good Hotel for the Very Old and Somewhat Infirmed" movie.

I couldn't remember the exact title.  I think maybe it was, "The Great Dictator."

Legs

A lie has no legs, but a scandal has wings.

~ Thomas Fuller

- - - - -

If you were being chased by a robot and somehow managed to make the legs stop working, that is fine, but don't forget about its laser eyes and extendo-arms.  A robot without legs is still lethal.  A spider without legs, less so.  But who would take the time to remove all of a spider's legs?  That's just messed up.  Oh, and unless it's a robot spider then the laser eyes might still be in effect.  And in the case of a spider, we're talking about up to 8 eyes which is a lot of lasers.  Oh, but there are some spiders that have no eyes.  In which case the spider robot laser eye fear would not be so significant.

Books

Books constitute capital. A library book lasts as long as a house, for hundreds of years. It is not, then, an article of mere consumption but fairly of capital, and often in the case of professional men, setting out in life, it is their only capital.

~ Thomas Jefferson

- - - - -

The other day I was talking about books with my brother.  He said he had read The Golden Compass books.  You might think he meant The Little Golden Books, but you'd be wrong.  They're different.

Anyway, he said something I liked.  He said, he decided to read them because of the religious themes.  But he didn't say he decided to read them...  He said he decided to "sit down with them."  Like they were new friends he was hoping to make. 

I like that.  I think it's a nice way to think about books.  I wonder if he ever thinks about people that way. 

Guidance

Life is one big road with lots of signs. So when you riding through the ruts, don't complicate your mind. Flee from hate, mischief and jealousy. Don't bury your thoughts, put your vision to reality. Wake Up and Live!

~ Bob Marley 

- - - - -

Sometimes when you are lost and don't know what direction to go or where to turn, all you have to do is look for the signs.  They're everywhere. 

And I figure you can look at signs one of two ways...  Either they are there to help and guide and care about you or they are there to be the boss of you.  Should you ever rebel against the signs?  Yes.  Sometimes you should.  Sometimes you should disregard the signs. 

Not necessarily road signs.  But street signs?  Sure.  Ignore those.  They can say it's called "Fourth Street Southwest," but you should feel free to tell your parents that their house is on Desperation Avenue.  However, don't expect them to get their mail if you send it to that address.

Shopping

Consumers have not been told effectively enough that they have huge power and that purchasing and shopping involve a moral choice.

~ Anita Roddick

- - - - -

I was walking on Main Street the other evening, and I saw a couple window shopping.  I heard the man say to the woman, "Sure it looks cute in the window here, but would it look cute in our house?"

People should ask themselves that question more about art and furnishings.  And pets.  I would say, "And babies," but I don't think you ought to window shop for babies.

Supervision

I get frustrated sometimes when leading by assholeness is more powerful than leading by example.

~ Leslie Lewis

- - - - -

You will note that none of the kids were playing in the supervised youth area.  I guess we don't know where they were playing.  Or what they were playing.  Or if they were playing with fire.

Bugs

The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between lightning and a lightning bug.

~ Mark Twain

- - - - -

Traced back far enough the word "dragon" means "to see clearly" in both Greek and Latin.  Therefore, "dragonfly" means "to see flies clearly."  This means that dragonfly is synonymous with frog.

Or air traffic controller.

Tomato

 It's difficult to think anything but pleasant thoughts while eating a homegrown tomato.

~ Lewis Grizzard

- - - - -

I think that if you are willing to call the whole thing off over how you and your significant other pronounce vegetables...  Well, it probably wasn't going to work out in the long run, anyway.

Silence

A story is told as much by silence as by speech.

~ Susan Griffin

- - - - -

Know how one person yawns and then everyone yawns?  Well, when you're trapped on a broken airplane, when one baby cires, all the babies cry.  And it doesn't make me NOT cry when the other passengers scold me.

Purple

I think it pisses God off if you walk past the color purple in a field somewhere and don't notice it.

~ Alice Walker

- - - - -

I know I have used that quote before, but it is a good quote.  And I spent the day noticing the color purple when I went to Reiman Gardens.  So much so that I didn't notice that I had dropped one of my camera lenses.  But someone turned it in at the desk.  

I think it pisses a photographer off if you walk by her lens in a field somewhere and don't notice it.  But not nearly as much as when she drops the lens and doesn't notice it herself. 

(pause)

But then she gets unpissed off if someone turns in the lens.

(pause)

And then they lived happily ever after.

Mom

Being a mother is hard and it wasn't a subject I ever studied.

~ Ruby Wax

- - - - -

This post is written in honor of my mother's birthday today.  I saw this in the card section of some store.  First of all, I didn't know there was a holiday called "funny mom moment," but I guess there is.  Not sure if there is a specific date or if it's just an ongoing celebration. 

And I think it's important to remember that at the beginning of EVERY moment, is a MOM.

(pause)

Take that Hallmark!  I mean that literally.  Take that and then give me some money for the idea.

Fish

Chance is always powerful. Let your hook always be cast; in the pool where you least expect it, there will be fish.

~ Ovid 

- - - - -

"Pescadore, that gang from the other school is coming after us," whispered Coy.  The fishes knew they were in trouble.  They were not on their own turf.  But then, a fish never really is.

Evil

The evil of the world is made possible by nothing but the sanction you give it.

~ Ayn Rand

- - - - -

Me:  I remember when I was a kid there was a time when our Sunday school teachers talked to us about the perils of rock music.

Elizabeth:  Like what?

Me:  I don't remember, like - something about "Another One Bites the Dust," oh and if you play music backwards...

E:  Like Rhianna.

Me:  (pause)  Um, this was before Rhianna was probably born.  I don't remember which group it was, but I remember thinking, "Who has time to sit around and play music backwards?"

E:  I do!

Me:  (pause)  So when Satan attacks you'll be ready?

E:  Yes.  Exactly.

It is reassuring she is at least currently planning to use her powers for good and not evil, I guess.

Houses

 

 I had three chairs in my house; one for solitude, two for friendship, three for society.

~ Henry David Thoreau

- - - - -

 Bakers who live in gluten-free houses shouldn't throw scones.

 

Octopus

Talent without discipline is like an octopus on roller skates. There's plenty of movement, but you never know if it's going to be forward, backwards, or sideways.

~ H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

- - - - -

Everyone wondered why there was an octopus in the spider web in Ames, Iowa.  I thought the answer was pretty clear.  There isn't a marine biology program here.