Thinking

It honestly does not matter. Trust me, people are not thinking about you the way that you're thinking about you.

~ Alexis Rose

- - - - -

I believe this is true. I wish I could put it into practice, but sometimes I get in my own head too much about other people.

(pause)

Also, it really does matter what dogs think of you. A lot.

Toast

        Linus: You gonna make some toast, how about putting a 

                   slice in for me?

        Lucy: Here you are.

        Linus: Thank you very much. Hey! This is too light! It's 

                   hardly singed! Surely you don't expect me to eat RAW 

                   toast!

~ Charles M. Schulz

- - - - -

First of all, Linus is pretty ungrateful here.

But much more importantly, you know Charlie Brown Thanksgiving? Where did the kids get all those toasters?!

Laughter

The highest state is laughter.

~ Maharishi Mahesh Yogi

- - - - -

The laughter of two friends who have known each other since they first started deciding the adults they wanted to become is magical. It really doesn't matter what the subject of the laughter is - it's the shared moment. When you feel safe enough with someone who knows you well to laugh hard, that's a phenomenal thing.

For the record, they weren't laughing at me. In case you were wondering. They weren't. I asked and they said they weren't. I'm sure they were telling the truth. 

Fruit

Never seek revenge. Rotten fruit will fall by itself.

~ Old Adage

- - - - -

I believe this adage 100%. I have known some villains and had a few nemeses in my life. Not so long ago, one of them took a hard fall in a rather public way. It was more intense than anything I could have done myself.

Do I think that it happened because the universe loves and wants to protect me because I'm the universe's favorite? Or do I think I it is because when you put badness into the world it returns to you? Or do I think it is some other sort of balance issue in terms of the energy around us?

Yes. I think it is because of that. All of that. Especially the part where I get to be the favorite.

 

 

Barn

It's what you sow that multiplies, not what you keep in the barn.

~ Adrian Rogers

- - - - -

Unless you keep rabbits in the barn. 

(pause)

Or mathemticians.

 

Restaurant

Your body is not a temple, it's an amusement park. Enjoy the ride.

~ Anthony Bourdain

- - - - -

I ordered a cup of what I thought was something called "Plentiful Coffee." I misread the menu. It was "Lentilfull Coffee." It was horrible. 

Water

Be like the rocky headland on which the waves constantly break. It stands firm and round it the seething waters are laid to rest.

~ Marcus Aurelius

- - - - -

Come 'round me at the wrong time and I'll break you and lay you to rest. Marcus Aurelius said that was okay to do. I think. 

Philosophy is hard to understand sometimes.
 

Places

Feeling in love with a place and feeling in love with a person are related adventures.

~ Fredrik Backman

- - - - -

It is as important to be selective in where you are as much as whom you are with. You don't want to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. Like at a slaughterhouse with a long-winded and detail-oriented tour guide who isn't good at reading social cues.

Light

Home isn't where you're from, it's where you find light when all grows dark.

~ Pierce Brown

- - - - -

It's also where you have to find the lightbulbs.

 

Masterpieces

The family is one of nature's masterpieces.

~ George Santyana

- - - - -

I like to also think that my photos are masterpieces. Often I try instill a sense of mystery in my images. For example, see if you can find the hidden dog in these pictures.

Dogs

I have found that when you are deeply troubled, there are things you get from the silent, devoted companionship of a dog that you can get from no other source.

~ Doris Day

- - - - -

David: Bender! What are you licking up off the floor over there?

Aurora: He's not gonna answer that.

 

Snow

Snowflakes are one of nature's most fragile things, but just look what they do when they stick together.

~ Vesta Kelly

- - - - -

The other day I had a thought about vampires in the snow. I wondered if snow would affect vampires the way that water does. Then I remembered that it's just holy water or running water. I imagine there is a way to get holy snow, but I don't know the recipe for it. 

Also, remember that if you take a vampire out on a snowy day, that the sunlight will get 'em plus the sunlight will be reflected off the snow. Plus it's got to be cold out. I don't think that the cold bothers vampires, but if they get snow in their boots, well, nobody likes that.

Fence

The only fence against the world is a thorough knowledge of it.

~ John Locke

- - - - -

Leslie read me a story the other day about a person who knitted themselves a fence. It made me laugh and laugh and laugh. I wasn't mocking the woman (I think she used fence twine as her knitting material). No, I was laughing to hide my tears since I don't know how to knit a fence. Or a pair of socks. Though I can occasionally spin a good yard. 

 

Records

Keeping records enhances the pleasure of the search and the chance of finding order and meaning in these events.

~ Aldo Leopold

- - - - -

One time when I was organizing my electronic files and folders, I found this document:

I opened it and found it contained this information:

A better document name I have yet to create.

 

Laundry

Learn to put your troubles in your pocket, then leave them there when you do your laundry.

~ John Avery

- - - - -

Leslie and I were watching a show one time and there was a couple being nasty to each other. The woman was complaining that the guy never did his wash and always just left his laundry in the hamper. I went on to share how much I hate it when people do that to one another in front of other people. It really makes me upset.

Leslie: When people do what?

Me: When they argue about things or call each other out in front of other people. When they do what that woman just did to that guy about the hamper.

Leslie: Oh. You hate it when they air their dirty laundry?

Shoes

The shoe that fits one person, pinches another; there is no recipe for living that suits all cases.

~ Carl Jung

- - - - -

When it comes to shoes, how pointy is too pointy?

(pause)

Note to self: Don't ask Carl Jung this question. He's too evasive when it comes to matters of footwear.

 

Wet

Interesting fact: A shark will only attack you if you're wet.

~ Sean Lock

- - - - -

Person: He's just a wet sock. (pause) Wait, what's the saying?

Me: Wet blanket.

Person: He's just a wet blanket.

NOTE: I actually think wet sock is a better saying.

Snowflake

Silently, like thoughts that come and go, the snowflakes fall, each one a gem.

~ William Hamilton Gibson

- - - - -

They say no two snowflakes are alike. Well, all of the snowflakes hanging from light posts on this particular street were alike. The lesson we can learn from such a thing? Sometimes "they" don't know what the hell "they're" talking about.

Secrets

Big secrets make small men of us.

~ Fredrik Backman

- - - - - 

Secrets, secrets are no fun...

Wow. You must not know the same secrets I do.

Love

The rage dissipates along with the love and all we're left with is a story.

~ Anne Patchett

- - - - -

I like it when people share stories about love and joy and things like that. It makes the world a little bit happier of a place most of the time. Still, some people's stories of what makes them happy confuse me. 

Like this image I saw recently on one of the social media platforms:

The story is touching. The person who posted it is "Animal Lovers."

(pause)

What does that make this person's fiancé?

Pool

Crime's the disease, meet the cure. Okay, not the cure, but more like a topical ointment to reduce the swelling and itch.

~ Deadpool

- - - - -

See what I did?

 

Friend

Each friend represents a world in us, a world not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born.

~ Anais Nin

- - - - -

Today is my friend Leslie's birthday. The world that was born when we met is an odd one. It is one no one else can understand - which is true of all friendships. Like how Lily can't understand her friendship with Leslie when Leslie never ever gives up a whole sandwich to Lily. I mean, what kind of friendship is that, after all.

(pause)

I don't think Leslie has ever given up a whole sandwich for me, either. How sad that she has to put those kinds of parameters on our friendship.

 

Beginning

Get over here! We're about to get started! Stop malingering!!!

~ Guy in charge of the race

- - - - -

For the second year in a row, we went on a trip for Leslie's birthday to a Georgia state park and they had a race at the park during our visit. Not a big deal, but sort of weird. 

Anyway, when I heard the race coordinator guy (or at least the guy with the megaphone at the race) say the word "malingering," I wished I knew about that guy. I don't think I want to know him personally and hang out with him, but there is a story there.

"Isn't that true of everyone?" you ask. "Don't we all have stories?"

Yes, my friend. Yes, we do. But we don't all have megaphones, now do we?

Sin

Many are saved from sin by being so inept t it.

Mignon McLaughlin

- - - - -

Leslie calls casinos "Sin Mazes." There are few things I have heard as perfect as this.

 

Work

It's not respect when your employees think you're a psychopath.

~ Sam Merlott

- - - - -

If you have time to ask someone "Working hard or hardly working?" it is probably YOU who is hardly working. Don't think we haven't noticed.

Days

just a perfect day

problems are left to know

weekenders all night long

it's such fun

just a perfect day

~ Lou Reed

- - - - -

My brother Erik (who passed about 10 years ago) loved Lou Reed. This was one of the songs played at his funeral. I took this photo at a gas station on my drive home after the funeral. I don't believe in coincidence and I don't think this particular experience was a sign. It could have been Erik reaching out to tell me that things were going to be okay. Although, I suspect, if it had really been Erik, he would have somehow had the can explode and get beer all over everyone.

Don't get defensive on his behalf. He would agree with me. In fact, he'd be ticked off that he didn't think of it himself. Which would make for a not quite perfect day, I suppose.

Complimentary

Nobody can be kinder than the narcissist while you react to life on his own terms.

~ Elizabeth Bowen

- - - - -

I'm not sure why you are recommending this to me, Audible. I don't find it complimentary at all. 

Barn

I am always humbled by the infinite ingenuity of the Lord, who can make a red barn cast a blue shadow.

~ E. B. White

- - - - -

I've had a few ideas that I got some experience out of. Like when I tried to shoot the broken glass out of a window in my grandpa's barn. The experience I got is that people don't like you to shoot the windows of their barn. Even if the windows are already broken and you're being a helper.