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Tuesday, February 28, 2017

Peas

How luscious lies the pea within the pod.
~ Emily Dickinson
- - - - -

We eat green peas because we haven't let them ripen. We get in a hurry to have our peas, so we take them before they are really ready. 

We do that with a lot of things. We are so impatient. 

Also, we call the shell of peas a "pod" because the word "apartment" was already being used for something else.

Monday, February 27, 2017

Local

Inequality is the cause of all local movements.
~ Leonardo da Vinci
- - - - -

We are in a period of time where there is little confidence in national leadership. This isn't new. This is recurring. It is cyclical. 

When you can't change the world nationally or globally, you look for ways to change it locally. 

When you can't change it locally, you look to change yourself.

When you can't change yourself you --

(pause)

You can always change yourself.

If you can't change yourself, at least change your --

(pause)

No, seriously, I really do think you can always change yourself.

I don't know why you argue with me. 

(pause)

Why don't you start by changing the part of you that argues with me.

Sunday, February 26, 2017

Taco

Bob Marley isn't my name. I don't even know my name yet.
~ Bob Marley
- - - - -

If you could be a superhero, but your superhero name had to be food-affiliated, what would you choose? Assume - based on this image - that Taco Boy is already taken.

Some options:

ShishkebabBoy
Pros - could skewers people with long pointy weapons
Cons - probably would get misspelled and mispronounced a lot

SnoCone Girl
Pros - Icy demeanor. When you would say, "FREEZE!" people would be more likely to "freeze" because of the ice thing.
Cons - Should be SnoCone Woman because she's a grown ass woman.

The Tater Tots
Pros - tough exterior, but kind of goes with anything
Cons - tots don't have fully developed critical thinking skills or ethics.

(pause)

Maybe you should just do this on your own and report back.

Saturday, February 25, 2017

Light

There is nothing new under the sun but there are lots of old things we don't know.
~ Ambrose Bierce
- - - - -

I can think of something new under the sun - a brand new baby. I know that we all have probably seen babies before, but each one is new.

Why you'd leave a baby out under the sun, though. You're messed up, man. 


Friday, February 24, 2017

Sitting

What an elder sees sitting; the young can't see standing.
~ Gustave Flaubert
- - - - -

I think a good idea for a show would be watching the Supreme Court justices chatting. Not debating cases necessarily. Rather, I picture them sitting coffee shops or on porches or visiting each other and sitting in their offices or on their sofas.

They might talk about courty stuff, but they might talk about music or books or movies or TV. They might talk about the latest FB quizzes they have taken or family events. Basically, they would just be spending time getting to know each other.

By extension, we would also get to know about them beyond their decisions or the made up ignorant stuff that people write about them. We could see them as people. Just people hanging out and chatting.

I would call the show "The Social Justices."

And I would probably be one of three or four regular viewers.

I can't wait!

Thursday, February 23, 2017

Um...

I think you are wrong to want a heart. It makes most people unhappy. If you only knew it, you are in luck not to have a heart.
~ L. Frank Baum
- - - - -

I took this photo at the Wizard of Oz park festival thing. The kid was supposed to be the Tin man, I think. What he ended up being is some powerful mind-control child. Not the kind of child whose mind is controlled, but the kind of child who mind controls others.

I forget what happened next.

Wednesday, February 22, 2017

Heaven

Sincerity is the way to Heaven.
~ Mencius
- - - - -

Wouldn't you think heaven's door would have a doorbell so you wouldn't have to knock?

And wouldn't there be an elevator or escalator instead of stairs?

(pause)

I don't think songwriters know what the hell they're talking about.

Tuesday, February 21, 2017

Climb

Remember when life's path is steep to keep your mind even.
~ Horace
- - - - -

Remember also that if you climb up the side of a building to put human figures there you can get in trouble if you don't have permission and / or a license to do that. The store owner doesn't give a crap if it IS an art installation -- you can't just go and do that.

So go at night.

Monday, February 20, 2017

Friends

A true friend laughs at your stories even when they're not so good 
and sympathizes with your troubles even when they're not so bad.
~ Irish Proverb 
- - - - -

Maybe a truer friend sympathizes with your stories when they're not so good and laughs at your troubles when they're not so bad. That's a reality-check friend. That's a friend you don't always appreciate.

(pause)

Wait. Not a friend. That kind of person is probably a sibling.

Sunday, February 19, 2017

Prayer

I am unable to believe in a God susceptible to prayer. I simply haven't the nerve to imagine a being, a force, a cause which keeps the planets revolving in their orbits, and then suddenly stops in order to give me a bicycle with three speeds.
~ Quentin Crisp
- - - - -

Leslie was trying to figure out when to next go and visit her mom. She said, "I guess I'll have to pray on it."

I laughed.

She said, "Why are you making fun of me?"

I said, "You don't seriously pray on anything!"

Leslie responded, "How do you know?"

I realized I had misspoken. "I'm sorry. Maybe you seriously pray on things all the time."

Leslie: I pray every day.

Me: Oh. That's good. I'm glad then.

Leslie: I just don't think you should pray for Army to beat Navy.

Me: Especially if you go to the Naval Academy.

Leslie: Good point.

As a result of this conversation, I suspect God is one again head shaking saying, "Michelle has no idea what is going on."

Which is true. I don't. I like guessing, though.

Saturday, February 18, 2017

Friendship

Friends are the siblings God never gave us.
~ Mencius
- - - - -

I think friends are the kinds of people who won't put your panties in a wad, but will tell you when you have them in a wad. I don't know that I really think that, but I had this photo of "Kickaway" panties with the PATENTED COMFORT CROTCH and I thought that maybe that is all true.

Leslie is with her Amazon friends this weekend. They have gotten together for a lot of years. Last year they were in Greenville where they went to a political rally for incumbent Frances Underwood. A few times Leslie texted me. She texted me things like this:

"Are you at work, rest, or play? Or are they all the same for faculty members?"

"Ok. So I got my first professional foot massage."

Me: Did you do 6 a.m. yoga?
Leslie: Hell no!

Leslie: Actually slept pretty well in my moose bed.
Me: It's because of the moose down comforter.

Friendship is based on lots of things. Massages, NOga, politics, mooses. And friendship takes time, commitment, and effort. They are good role models for that. 

My point is, get yourself some good friends and get to work.

Friday, February 17, 2017

Drink

Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. 
That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.
~ Ernest Hemingway
- - - - -

If I think to drink
Then it's a drink I may have.
If not, then I don't.

That is a haiku. 
And I guess this could be to.
We shall have to see.

I haiku and I
haiku again and again.
Over and over.

You thought that this post
Would be better than it is.
You were wrong. So wrong.

Thursday, February 16, 2017

Abomination

It is necessary to constantly remind ourselves that we are not an abomination.
~ Marlon Riggs
- - - - -

If there was an abomination snowman, I bet people would shirk him. I bet they would marginalize him. I bet they would push him to edges of society. Then later they would realize they were being overly judgmental. By then it would be too late. The abomination snowman would have moved on to some other place with nicer people.

The moral of the story is not to judge people or snowmen just because you don't know them. You need to be accepting in your heart and in your actions even if you're not quite ready, yeti.

Wednesday, February 15, 2017

Mushroom

Nature alone is antique, and the oldest art a mushroom.
~ Thomas Carlyle
- - - - -

I think if you intentionally grow mushrooms in your house, that's fine. If they grow accidentally, you might want to have that looked at. 
But if you have a mush room in your house, I bet it's where you take care of your sled dogs. Just kidding. You'd have that room in your garage. You don't want to make such a big mess in your house.

Tuesday, February 14, 2017

Love

Never love anybody who treats you like you're ordinary.
~ Oscar Wilde
- - - - -

When I was looking for a quote about love, I found a bunch of them that were unattributed. I don't like to use quotes without knowing who said them. I will occasionally use a proverb from some country or culture.

Anyway, I was thinking, why is it that so many of them are unattributed? Then I realized that people didn't want others to know that they said them. Why so secretive? Probably because they are cheaters. 

Happy Valentine's Day.

Monday, February 13, 2017

Cup

We are cups, constantly and quietly being filled. The trick is, knowing how to tip ourselves over and let the beautiful stuff out.
~ Ray Bradbury
- - - - -

Well, Ray Bradbury, here is your answer. Just attach yourself upside down to the windshield wiper on the back of a minivan. Consider yourself tipped over and the beautiful stuff overflowing on the highway. 

Sunday, February 12, 2017

Wind

A great wind is blowing, and that gives you either imagination or a headache.
~ Catherine the Great
- - - - -

When there isn't wind, it seems like we are waiting for something to happen. The doldrums is the pause before something happens. Like in a tornado - it often gets very calm and weirdly quiet before the storm hits.

When the wind is blowing - something IS happening. You're holding on so things don't blow away. In a huge wind, you're holding on so YOU don't blow away. There is action required - motion, action, etc.

The thing is, you sometimes can get an imagination headache, too. You can be doing and thinking and making and creating and then your head hurts or gets tired. 

It's a lot like an ice cream headache. You love ice cream so much that you eat it too fast and then your brain hurts. Sometime creativity does the same thing. 

So, should you engage in creativity more slowly so as not to get a headache? Nope. Creativity is way too good to do that.

The that creative wind blow. If you absolutely must, take a break. Break creative wind. fART, if you must.

Saturday, February 11, 2017

Community

What should young people do with their lives today? Many things, obviously. But the most daring this is to create stable communities in which the terrible disease of loneliness can be cured.
~ Kurt Vonnegut
- - - - -

I wonder if community theater thespians believe in the slogan, "Think globally. Act locally."

Friday, February 10, 2017

Mood

I try to make the mood uplifting and peaceful, then watch the world around me reflect that mood.
~ Yaya DaCosta
- - - - -

This seemed like an odd lamp for a restaurant restroom. Or maybe it seemed odd that it was so near the toilet. Or maybe it wasn't odd at all. Maybe it was me. Maybe I seemed odd. 

(pause)

I don't find these options to be mutually exclusive.

Thursday, February 9, 2017

Sayings

You can put wings on a pig, but you don't make it an eagle.
~ Bill Clinton
- - - - -

I learn a few things as I write my blog. I learned that "when pigs fly" is an adynaton. It is a hyperbole that is so outrageous that it represents an impossibility. Sometimes as we learn, we have more questions. When did this way of speaking originate? (they think maybe during the classical era). WHY did it emerge? Did it catch on right away or was the first user mocked? What were some of the first adynata?

More importantly, exactly how does Bill Clinton put wings on a pig??

Wednesday, February 8, 2017

Apple

Why not upset the apple cart? If not, the apples will rot anyway.
~ Frank A. Clark
- - - - -

Sure we can upset the apple cart, but what about when the apples upset us? Like when they changed green Skittles to green apple. Blech. I was upset by that.

I'm pretty much over it now. See?

Tuesday, February 7, 2017

Hello

We all have a hungry heart, and one of the things we hunger 
for is happiness. So as much as I possibly could, 
I stayed where I was happy.
~ Mary Oliver
- - - - -

Today is Leslie's birthday. 

I think there are places that make her happy. I also think - probably more than places - there are people who make her happy. In lots of ways her happy places are where her people are. That is good advice for all of us.

Unless the people who make you happy are trapped in a well. In that case, I recommend rescuing them and being happy out of the well.

Monday, February 6, 2017

Typewriter

As a writer you have to believe that you are one of the best 
writers in the world. To sit down every day at the typewriter 
filled with self-doubt is not a good idea.
~ Jo Nesbo
- - - - -

I don't always think I am a good writer. I am often filled with self-doubt. 

That's why I use a computer most of the time rather than a typewriter.

Sunday, February 5, 2017

Aaaah!

Too bad you can't buy a voodoo globe so that you could make the earth spin real fast and freak everybody out.
~ Jack Handy
- - - - -

I like hanging out with Leslie. She is sometimes unpredictable. I don't even remember what she was doing here. Well, freaking out, obviously. I just don't remember why. It could be that she saw someone using bad grammar or with their books organized by color instead of using some fancy library system. Or maybe she saw someone wearing attire from the Naval Academy.

So many possibilities. She is easily startled.

Saturday, February 4, 2017

Social

In a time not distant, it will be possible to flash any image formed in thought on a screen and render it visible at any place desired. The perfection of this means of reading thought will create a revolution for the better in all our social relations.
~ Nikola Tesla
- - - - -

We have social clubs and social contracts. We have just plain socials.

However, what about the anti-social. Are they not bound by social contracts?

(pause)

I bet there is no such thing as an "Anti Social Club." Also, a good name for a book would be "The Anti Social Club."

Or a good name for a book character would be Desdemona Social. She would have lots of nieces and nephews who would call her Auntie. She would be Auntie Social.

(pause)

This is one of those photos I've had for a while and I haven't been able to figure out what to do with it. You probably realized that by now.

Friday, February 3, 2017

Water

I love the sounds and the power of pounding water, 
whether it is the waves or a waterfall.
~ Mike May
- - - - -

I like the sound of water, too. And I like how water looks. I like how water makes most of my senses feel. Except the sixth sense. I don't like to be psychic about water. 

(pause)

Psychydrology. That would be a cool word.

I changed my mind. I am okay being psychic about water.

Thursday, February 2, 2017

Reading

The Reader's Bill of Rights

1. The right not to read.
2. The right to skip pages.
3. The right not to finish.
4. The right to reread.
5. The right to read anything.
6. The right to escapism.
7. The right to read anywhere.
8. The right to browse.
9. The right to read aloud.
10. The right not to defend your tastes.
~ Daniel Pennac
- - - - -

You might ask which came first - the writer or the reader? That's ridiculous. You can't read anything unless something is written. Plus neither of them came first - the storyteller came first. 

Plus primordial ooze came before all of that.


Wednesday, February 1, 2017

Animals

Some animals are cunning and evil-disposed, as the fox; others, as the dog, are fierce, friendly, and fawning. Some are gentle and easily tamed, as the elephant; some are susceptible of shame and watchful, as the goose. Some are jealous and fond of ornament, as the peacock.
~ Aristotle
- - - - -

Some are sweet and welcoming, as the cat.