Lights

'Cause little sister don't miss when she aims her gun.

~ The Night the Lights Went Out in Georgia by Bobby Russell

- - - - -

I love my brother very much, but if his spouse cheated on him, I would not hunt the person down and shoot them when Kirk was out of town. 

 

Truth

You will come up short by telling tall tales.

~ Christine E. Szymanski

- - - - -

Leslie: I liked your blog post today. It was actually true.

Me: All of my blog posts are true. (pause) ish.

Leslie: Yes, well, some are more true than others.

Storefront

I went window shopping today. I bought four windows.

~ Tommy Cooper

- - - - -

The other day I saw the most ridiculous post on social media. It said that if you want to minimize your belongings, one thing to do is to go through your closet. Each item you pull out, you're supposed to ask yourself, "Would I buy this?" If the answer is NO, you get rid of the item.

That's so stupid. If I did that, I would say NO to everything because I already have that stuff.

Mad

All mathematicians are mad, as you know.

~ Elly Griffiths

- - - - -

Maybe, but not all mathematicians are mad all the time. This mathematician looks pretty happy. 

(pause)

I mean Maureen, not Puppa.

(pause)

Okay, they both look pretty happy. I just mean that Lily isn't a mathematician.

(pause)

Well, she does know the concept of "more" so maybe I'm wrong.

Bwaa ha ha ha ha ha. No. gasp. No, I'm not wrong. Can't believe I even typed that.

 

Pole

A well developed sense of humor is the pole that adds balance to your steps as you walk the tightrope of life.

~ William Arthur Ward

- - - - -

If you find out that the tightrope of life you are walking is actually a power line... Well, suffice to say transformers can transform us in a shocking variety of ways. 
 

Exhaustion

I've got a great ambition to die of exhaustion rather than boredom.

~ Thomas Carlyle

- - - - -

Grandmothers are prone to exhaustion because they are living moments with their grandchildren while often reliving moments with their children at the same time. Both are adventures requiring a lot of energy, but worth it.

Unless your children or grandchildren are horrible. But if that is the case, the grandmother made have had a little something to do with it.

 

Famous

I'm more interested in being good than being famous.

~ Annie Liebovitz

- - - - -

 I like to visit cemeteries. I especially like seeing the resting places of famous people. 

Yard

Novels are not about expressing yourself, they're about something beautiful, funny, clever, and organic. Self-expression? Go and ring a bell in a yard if you want to express yourself.

~ Zadie Smith

- - - - -

The British call their yards gardens. The Scottish call their yards if there has been a murder.

Heron

You are the hero of your own story.

~ Joseph Campbell

- - - - -

Or, if you identify as a woman, be the heron of your own story.

(pause)

Or, if you're a heron - regardless of gender.

Fiction

Reading fiction is often an act of empathy, as is writing it.

~ Julie Buxbaum

- - - - -

As is living with a writer.

Unclear

There is something special about the beauty in the unclear, the ambiguity, the in-between that you can't totally recognize.

~ Alessandro Michele

- - - - -

I was talking with someone not too long ago about politics and leadership (or lack thereof). I said something like, "Well, at least we don't have to worry about George Santos anymore." And the other person said, "What are you talking about?!" I said, "What?" They said, "He's a fictional character." I laughed, but that made the person angry. "The guy from Seinfeld?!" the person said loudly stressing the word "Seinfeld."

Then I laughed even more. They got really angry. I said, "No, Not George Costanza. George Santos." 

They looked at me for a minute and I could tell they wanted to laugh and they wanted to yell at me because they were embarrassed. And they wanted to yell at me because I was laughing at them so hard that I was crying.

This is why you shouldn't discuss politics with others.

Threatening

Authority should derive from the consent of the governed, not from threat of force.

~ Toy Story 3

- - - - -

Author is originator. Authority is author whose writings are considered correct. That seems odd to me. I don't think of those in authority as authors. I don't think of them as writers or readers, come to think of it. At least not all of them. 

Buoys

Feeling is deep and still; and the word that floats on the surface

Is as the tossing buoy, that betrays where the anchor is hidden.

~ Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

- - - - - 

I like the water and shops around the water. Tackle shops, boat shops, whatever. One time this person told me about a great shop where they sold marine equipment and had a collection of buoys. They said they knew the owner and he could give us a tour and tell us the history of water floatation devices.

I was really excited to go, but I had something come up. I didn't have the number or even the full name of the person who told me about this place. I felt horrible that I couldn't contact them. I spent the rest of the day thinking, "Dang it, Michelle! Where the buoys are, someone waits for me."

Conversation

Being a father is the single greatest feeling on earth. Not including those wonderful years I spent without a child, of course.

~ Ryan Reynolds

- - - - -

A Conversation

Zak: Papa, can I ask you something?

Kirk: That depends. What is it?

Zak: Well, I was wondering if I could take the little gardening cart Grandma Boettcher has and drive it off the deck like a stunt person in the movies.

Kirk: (long silent pause)

Zak: (stares at Papa hopefully)

Kirk: What do you think I'm going to say to that, Zak?

Zak: (pauses) I should ask Grandma Boettcher if it's okay?

Kirk: (long pause)

Zak: Hm. Okay. I guess I'm not doing that dream.

Kirk: Zak, come here and sit down for a minute.

Zak: (gets on Kirk's lap)

Kirk: Why do you think I don't want to let you do that, Zak?

Zak: Because your job as a parent is to kill my dreams?

Kirk: (long pause, looks at me as if to say, "See what I have to deal with? Or maybe as if to say, "WHY. ARE. YOU. TAKING. PICTURES?")

Zak: I'm just kidding, Papa. You love me and you don't want me to get hurt.

Kirk: (laughing with relief) That's right, Zak-y. I love you so much.

Zak: How about if we each get ourselves a donut instead. 

Kirk: That's a great idea, bud.

Zak: I love you, Papa.

Kirk: Ohhhhh... I love you, too, Zak.

Zak: (whispering) And I love donuts. 

Kirk: What was that, buddy?

Zak: I love you so much.

Love

Quit being annoyed with me, and just be in love with me.

~ Michelle Boettcher

- - - - -

Love isn't "never having to say you're sorry." That's stupid. Love is never doing anything you have to say sorry for. And if you make a mistake, that's it. The love is over. 

(pause)

Love is pretty rigid.
 

Triangle

I've been in a few love triangles. I've been in a love quadrilateral.

~ Beau Mirchoff

- - - - -

What if instead of calling them "love triangles" we called them, "love tryangles." 

We'd be spelling it wrong, that's what!
 

Sky

The sky is the part of creation that nature has done for the sake of pleasing man.

~ John Ruskin

- - - - -

Power lines are the part of creation that man has done for the sake of pleasing man.
 

Evening

Every sunset brings the promise of a new day.

~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

- - - - -

Evening should be when the day evens out. But some days are odd days. 

Someone

An ordinary life is long if you live it together with someone else.

~ Fredrik Backman

- - - - -

And VERY long if you have to lie it with the wrong someone else.

(That is not my circumstance. I'm just reflecting on what others have shared with me.)
 

Mail

If you want something, it will elude you. If you do not want something, you will get ten of it in the mail.

~ Anna Quindlen

- - - - -

 I send myself emails all the time. Things I want to remember. Things I need to do. Things that make me laugh.

I get more email from me than from anyone else.

And I get so excited to see that I've written to me!

Magic

The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.

~ W. B. Yeats

- - - - -

The world is full of magic dogs waiting for our senses to grow sharper. And also waiting for belly rubs and treats.

 

Reading

There are some things that words can never truly capture; the depths of a person's mind is one of them.

~ Marie Benedict, The Mystery of Mrs. Christie

- - - - -

 Leslie: Oh my gosh! I was walking out of the Y and this woman came up and just started talking to me. She was yammering on and on. My first thought was, "Is this woman DRUNK at 9 o'clock in the morning"

Me: Friendly. It's called being friendly.

Leslie: Yes. I realized that.

GoGo

That's why Elsa wasn't especially impressed when her dad took her to that hotel in Spain and explained that it was "all inclusive" there. Because if you have a granny, your whole life is "all inclusive."

~ Frekrik Backman

- - - - -

I think a good grandmother is one that breaks rules and social norms in the pursuit of creating memories. It is someone who pursues fun or who teaches you things that you will remember for your entire life.

Now I think a great grandmother is your grandma or grandpa's mother.

Gas

When it comes out the hole in your bottom, it's a fart, also called passing gas.

~ Shinta Cho

- - - - -

Driving by a station and not refueling is also called "passing gas," but if you say, "I'm passing gas" while you drive by a gas station, people will think you're talking about farts -- even if they can see the gas station right there!

People are idiots.

Death

Fairytales are what help us cope with funerals.

~ I saw this on Facebook one time

- - - - -

I don't think "No Loitering" signs are enough to keep ghosts away. 

Bird

No bird soars too high if he soars with his own wings.

~ William Blake

- - - - -

What about the bird on the hot air balloon? What about that, William Blake?

 

Future

What happens now determines what happens to the rest of the world.

~ T-Challa, Black Panther

- - - - -

I love this kid. He is the future. Will he use his powers for good or evil? We don't know, yet. Either way, I figure it's smart to stay on his good side.

Everyday

Maybe it's not about having a beautiful day, but about finding beautiful moments.

~ Anna White

- - - - -

You find what you are looking for. If you look for things to upset you, you can find them. If you look for things to be angry about, you can find them. If you look for things to complain about, you find them.

Similarly, if you look for joy, opportunities, laughter, and hope, you will find those things.

I'm looking for person fulfillment and tremendous wealth right now.