Toothpaste

Anytime you see a turtle up on top of a fence post,

you know he had some help.

~ Alex Haley

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I had a turtle once - for about 3 weeks. Maybe only two weeks. His name was Jocko. He entered some competition -- the first turtle out of the circle won, or something like that. I don't think I realized when I guessed a winner that one of the prizes was the turtle itself.

I was not prepared to care for a turtle. I don't even know what kind of turtle Jocko was. I ended up giving him to an elementary school.

I had a mouse - Speck - for a few months, too. I also ended up donating him to an elementary school. I imagine that says something about me.

But I never gave away a pet I actually intended to get. Like I said, I didnt' realize I was going to have Jocko to keep and Speck was a gift from my college roommate. Not sure why she gave me that.

I'm also not sure why she cut up raisins and put them in my toothpaste. I ended up calling Crest or whoever it was to report the problem.

Toothpaste Operator: What is the issue?

Me: I have something in my toothpaste.

Toothpaste Operator: Like what?

Me: Well, it kind of looks like cut up raisins, but it can't be that.

The next day when I found rehydrated raisins in my shampoo, I knew I had been targeted. My roommate confessed. It was a pretty good joke.

Crest sent me a coupon for a new tube of toothpaste. It came with an envelope in which I returned the partially used, raisinized tube. This is how I imagine that played out...

Toothpaste Scientist 1: What did she say when she called?

Toothpaste Scientist 2: She said, "It looks like raisins, but it can't be that."

Toothpaste Scientist 1: Well, it IS cut up raisins.

Toothpaste Scientist 2: Stupid college students!