Bert

Last night someone broke into my apartment and replaced everything with exact duplicates...  When I pointed it out to my roommate, he said, "Do I know you?"

~ Steven Wright

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I always liked Bert and Ernie on Sesame Street.  Bert seemed a little high strung and Ernie seemed not to be too bright, but I liked them.  I am surprised that Bert continued to be Ernie's roommate.  Like when Bert told Ernie not to eat crackers in bed because he'd get crumbs in the bed.  A few moments later Bert said, "Ernie, what are you doing?"  And Ernie said, "I'm eating crackers in your bed, Bert."

Now, that is pretty rude.  It is also pretty funny.  In a "Well, it's funny if it happened to you but would be infuriating if it happened to me" kind of way. 

I think that maybe if you watch enough Bert and Ernie you can figure out some guidelines for a pretty good roommate contract when you go to college.  Or when you get married or civilly unionized with someone.  Or just shack up.