Self

I think the reward for conformity is that everyone likes you except yourself.

~ Rita Mae Brown

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Sara and I worked together for a long time.  We were an excellent team.  She was patient with me.  I think she also lives by the adage, "If you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything at all." 

I think that is a good thing to do sometimes, but sometimes your feedback - even though it might be harsh - can make things better.  Other times silence is better.  Ultimately, you have to make the call about when you speak up and when you speak naught.

Often, Sara would challenge me at first.  This helped me think a different way.  I suspect there may be times when she realized it was best just to let me go about my business since that was what I was probably going to do, anyway.

Me:  (forwarding email) Sara, would you mind responding to and working with this student?

Sara: Sure.

Me:  Thanks so much.  Do you want me to respond to his email and to let him know he'll be working with you?  Or if you want to email him, that is fine, too.  Just let me know.

Sara:  I already emailed him. 

Me:  Of course you did.  In case I haven't told you lately, you were a good hire on my part...  see how I made that about me?  It's going to be my new thing.

(silence)

Me:  Well, of course I guess I have always done that stuff about myself and making it about me so that I can feel great about being me and being myself which I do feel great about.

(silence)