Car

Everything in life is somewhere else, and you get there in a car.

~ E. B. White

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I don't have a wheel mounted on the back of my car. My spare is inside. I kind of wish I had it mounted because there are a lot of wheel covers I like. However, I did not like the one I saw the other day that looked like the driver might have crocheted it. I did not like that at all.

Prayer

     

The function of prayer is not to influence God, but rather to change the nature of the one who prays.

~ Soren Kirkegaard

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I went to the gas station yesterday and I saw this praying mantis caught in a spider web. 

I bet I know what she was praying for.

Chicken

And, believe me, a good piece of chicken can make anyone believe in the existence of God.

~ Sherman Alexie

- - - - -

Leslie wanted me to grill chicken the other day. When she brought out the chicken I thought about going to KFC and putting that on the grill and pretending that's what I had cooked. But I didn't want to drive all the way to KFC with a car full of raw chicken.

Doing

If you want to be successful, it's just this simple: Know what you are doing. Love what you are doing. And believe in what you are doing.

~ Will Rogers

- - - - -

I think it's a good idea to put a jigsaw puzzle together every once in a while because what else are you going to do with it?

Granny

It's not how old you are, it's how you are old.

~ Jules Renard

- - - - -

As we were waiting for the elderly people in front of us to find their seats, I whispered to Leslie, "Sometimes I can't tell the difference between 'old' and 'rude' people." Leslie said, "You're so right! I feel like that about my mom all the time! You should post that in your blog with a photo of her. Maybe she'll finally get the message and quit being so rude!!!"

I thought for a moment and then replied, "I think that is kind of passive aggressive. I didn't know you were that mean." Leslie smiled that super-evil smile and said, "My mom doesn't read your blog, I didn't think you were that dense!"

The above is a partially fictionalized account of an actual exchange Leslie and I had. I won't say what part is made up. Also - Hi, Pat Lewis!

Smart

Knowing a great deal is not the same thing as being smart; intelligence is not information alone but also judgment, the manner in which information is collected and used.

~ Carl Sagan

- - - - -

I don't think Yogi was smarter than very many of the above average bears.

Judge

Judge a man by his questions rather thanhis answers.

~ Voltaire

- - - - -

It's true that you can't judge a book by its cover. You can, however, sometimes judge a person by what they cover themselves in. Take a look at these two, for example. You know these guys are fun. Just look at their t-shirts.

Maybe you can judge a guy by his t-shirt AND judge a book by its cover. And judge people by their questions. And judge the sheep at the county fair. The important thing is to judge.

Airplanes

I fly because it releases my mind from the tyranny of petty things. 

~ Antoine de Saint-Exupery

- - - - -

Sometimes when I'm outside, I hear the sound of an airplane overhead and I think of all the people on the plane. I think about where they are going and all the choices they make in their lives. Like choosing a job. Or a partner. Or pretzels or peanuts.

After that I usually go have a snack.

Hammock

An optimist is a man who plants two acorns and buys a hammock. 

~ Jean de Lattre de Tassigny

- - - - -

Some days when the weather is nice, I like to lie in my hammock. I'll be out there, there will be a nice breeze and I'll say things like, "I love tuna casserole with cooked celery in it," or "I was in student council all four years of high school," or "I am a nuclear scientist."

Swing

I had always relished

the rides on swing

until it swayed me

betwixt your

forever and maybe

~ Kavisha

- - - - -

You might think you'd be angry if someone took your swingset from your back yard. But if you have a positive outlook and it was a rickety old dangerous swingset that you paid someone to take away, you might not be mad at all.

Travel

Canada has always been there to help people who need it.

~ Justin Trudeau

- - - - -

I've been to Canada most summers for the past six years. I am not sure I'll get a chance to go there this year. But I have been there. However, I've never been to Spain. But I kind of like the music.

Jubilation

(photo by Kirk Boettcher)

I think every discovery of the world plunges us into jubilation, a radical amazement that tears apart the veil of triviality.

~ Judy Cannato

- - - - - 

I think this photo captures jubilation. Running, joy, curiosity. This is a celebration of life. We live in times of tremendous stress and anxiety. The olden times (before March 2020) were also times of tremendous stress and anxiety. We just have something to "blame" our stress and anxiety on in the midst of a pandemic.

But blame isn't really the point. 

To love the world we are in and to celebrate what works well in an effort to make more of that working-well stuff is the point. At least for me.

And if the point for you is something else, I hope that you can pursue that something else with the same jubilation as Zak is showing in the photo above. Because if you do pursue it like that, you are bound to catch what you're seeking and creating what you're dreaming of.

I just hope you're not dreaming of something flavored like black licorice because I can't support you in that dream, pursuit, or creation. You're on your own.

Ice Cream

Ice cream is exquisite. What a pity it isn't illegal.

~ Voltaire

- - - - -

I don't think Aurora ate all of that ice cream cone. I think mainly she got it because it matched her outfit.

I think David got his because he liked the way it tasted.

I think Leslie got hers because it was the kind of ice cream least likely to leave a noticeable stain when she got it on her.

Walk

We live in a fast-paced society. Walking slows us down.

~ Robert Sweetgall

- - - - -

The trail was pretty grown over. The only way you could follow it was trail and error.

Looking

It's amazing what you can see when you just sit quietly and look.

~ Jacqueline Kelly

- - - - -

If I'm ever missing someone, I just look at the bright blue sky and think of them looking at the same bright blue sky and I feel closer to them. Unless it's nighttime where they live and they're asleep. Then I get way lonelier than before.

Back

Do not back off. For once, go all the goddam way with what matters.

~ Ernest Hemingway.

- - - - -

In all honesty, when I say, "Yes, we should," when you say, "Hey, we should get together when this is all over and things get back to normal," I don't mean it. What used to be was never normal.

Also, I love making plans, but I hate keeping them. 

Peeking

It's fun to peek into other people's worlds to see how they go about doing things.

~ Norah Jones

- - - - -
I love this photo of Leslie. She is peeking in the window of the lighthouse. She is curious. I like that.

What I love about this photo, though... is the fact that the window pane above the one she's looking through is missing and she could probably get a better view through that.

Stories

I found that people want stories that are not too dissimilar from theirs. People want to be reminded that, let's say, struggle in your family is being felt by other people. That you're not alone.

~ Milo Ventimiglia

- - - - -

But sometimes we ARE dissimilar. Like when I read on the internet about "the sunglasses that EVERYONE is talking about." I wasn't talking about them. Most of the people I know weren't talking about them. I am not saying that a lot of people weren't taking about them. I'm just saying not EVERYONE is talking about them. 

Also, while not particularly interesting, this is a fine example of how I like my blog to work. There is a photo and a quote that goes with the photo. Based on those two things you guess that the blog is going to be about family struggle. It is not. You think it's going to be about dissimilarity. It is not. It's about sunglasses.

So that sums it up. I like my blog to be about sunglasses.

Treasures

Everyone on earth has a treasure that awaits him.

~ Paul Coelho

- - - - -

I love these treasures. Leslie and I collected them on one of our adventures. A lot of people say that money is a treasure. I don't know if I agree with that. There are things more valuable than a million dollars to me -- good friends, peaceful moments, a winning lottery ticket worth five million dollars. Just a lot of things.

Living

Too many people, when they get old, think they have to live by the calendar.

~ John Glenn

- - - - -

From what I hear, when you get old you have to live by the bathroom because you have to go a lot and it takes you a lot longer to get there.

Eyes

I like how glasses suggest intelligence instead of broken eyes.

~ Kelly Oxford

- - - - -

The usher accidentally handed me two programs.

Usher: Oh wait, you don't need both of those.

Me: No, I can read the same one twice.

Usher: I guess I gave you one for each eye.

Accommodations

If you shack up with the devil, don't expect God to pay the rent.

~ Church Message Board

- - - - -

Okay, but did God sign the rental agreement? If so, I might have to go to small claims court with this. (pause) But how can a lawsuit against God be a small claim?

And, in all fairness, sometimes you don't know your roommate is the devil until you live with them for a while. Trust me. I know. (pause) No. This isn't about Leslie. (pause) Also, please don't tell her I wrote this.

Peace

Learning to ignore things is one of the great paths to inner peace.

~ Robert Sawyer

- - - - -

Leslie: I'm not ignoring you, I'm blow drying my hair.

Translation: I don't want to hear what you're saying, so I'm going to turn on my hair dryer.

(pause)

Also, this is not a photo of her when she said that.

1. She doesn't have a blow dryer with a cord long enough to reach.
2. Why would I take a photo of her blow drying her hair? I asked if I could, but she - allegedly - didn't hear me. I think she was ignoring me, though.

Self

Comparison is an act of violence against the self.

~ Iyanla Vanzant

- - - - -

When other people judge me and say, "We need to do better" when they mean I need to do better, I just remind myself, "There is no WE in Michelle."

What?

Few realize how loud their expressions really are.

~ Richelle E. Goodrich

- - - - -

This is exactly the expression higher ed administrators will have when they get notified of the first COVID-19 lawsuit filed as a result of them opening campuses in the fall of 2020. 

Bridge

Effort and hard work construct the bridge that connects your dreams to reality.

~ Daisaku Ikeda

- - - - -

Some days I think I'm really close to breaking through the noise of other people projecting their insecurities on the world and the noise of consumerism and the noise of my own negative self talk. I think I'm close to finding calm and peace and an ability to be in the moment.

But then that doesn't happen.

dammit.

Celebrations

The more you praise and celebrate your life, the more there is in life to celebrate.

~ Oprah Winfrey

- - - - -

Tomorrow is my birthday. In honor of that, I have created a new word: "Michellebrate." 

I know, it's MY birthday, why am I giving a gift to YOU?
That's just how I am.

You're welcome.

Bird

I am no bird; and no net ensnares me: I am a free human being with an independent will.

~ Charlotte Bronte

- - - - - 

What if instead of the eagle our national bird was this bird? I don't know what it is. A woodpecker, I think. What if the woodpecker was the national bird? 

I wouldn't like that because I think they would use a lot of Woody Woodpecker references and he freaks me out. He needs to calm down.

Also, I know this isn't really a woodpecker. 

Better

To do nothing evil is good, but to wish nothing evil is better.

~ Claudius

- - - - -

If you ever click on wireless options and your choices are "Marriott" or "Batting Cages" always choose "Batting Cages." I don't have anything against Marriott, but batting cages are better. That's why the always say "BETTER UP!" at baseball games.

(Also, it is the summer of 2020 and there haven't been any baseball games for a long time).

Play

Give a boy a dog and you've furnished him a playmate.

~ Berton Braley

- - - - -

I like this kid.
I like this dog.
The kid has a bag.
The kid has a ball.

The dog wants to play.
Throw the ball, kid!
Throw the ball for the dog!
Play with the dog, kid.

What is in the bag?
A cap? A cup? 
The kid has a snack for the dog.
The dog wants the ball.
Throw the ball, kid!

The kid doesn't play ball.
The kid holds the ball.
The kid eats the ball.
There is a snack for the dog in the bag.
No snack for the kid.

(I think I would be really good at writing children's books. You think it too, but you're too shy to say it.)

Joe

"Penultimate is my second favorite word."

~ Joe Campos

- - - - -

Everyone needs a Joe in their lives. I'm glad Joe Campos is one of the Joes I know. He is creative, wicked insightful and funny.

Oops. Forgot a comma. 

He is creative, wicked, insightful and funny.