Green

A man that studieth revenge keeps his own wounds green.

~ Francis Bacon

- - - - - 

Me: Are they green as in unhealed or green as in infected?

Francis Bacon: Does it matter?

Me: Great point.

Francis Bacon: That is why my work made such an important contribution to the scientific method and yours has not.

Me: Also because that was a long time ago and I was only born a little bit ago - in the scheme of things.

Francis Bacon: Whatever. I am not amused by your feeble excuses.

Me: Also, I was wondering... Did people used to tease you because your name is "BACON"?

Francis Bacon: NO. Because bacon is awesome and everyone loves it.

Me: Really?

Francis Bacon: (lip quivering) Yes, really!

Me: I would think they would would have taunted you a lot. Like doing that sing-songy thing... "Fran... cis...  Ba... con..." Or "Hey, Francis Bacon - where are your friends Tomato and Lettuce?" Or "What's that smell? Oh, it's you Francis Bacon. You smell like bacon."

Francis Bacon:  (tearing up) STOP IT! I'm not talking to you anymore! This conversation is OVER. For now. You just wait though...

Me: "A man that studieth revenge keeps his own wounds green."

Francis Bacon: SHUT UP. I HATE YOU.