Conversation

Being a father is the single greatest feeling on earth. Not including those wonderful years I spent without a child, of course.

~ Ryan Reynolds

- - - - -

A Conversation

Zak: Papa, can I ask you something?

Kirk: That depends. What is it?

Zak: Well, I was wondering if I could take the little gardening cart Grandma Boettcher has and drive it off the deck like a stunt person in the movies.

Kirk: (long silent pause)

Zak: (stares at Papa hopefully)

Kirk: What do you think I'm going to say to that, Zak?

Zak: (pauses) I should ask Grandma Boettcher if it's okay?

Kirk: (long pause)

Zak: Hm. Okay. I guess I'm not doing that dream.

Kirk: Zak, come here and sit down for a minute.

Zak: (gets on Kirk's lap)

Kirk: Why do you think I don't want to let you do that, Zak?

Zak: Because your job as a parent is to kill my dreams?

Kirk: (long pause, looks at me as if to say, "See what I have to deal with? Or maybe as if to say, "WHY. ARE. YOU. TAKING. PICTURES?")

Zak: I'm just kidding, Papa. You love me and you don't want me to get hurt.

Kirk: (laughing with relief) That's right, Zak-y. I love you so much.

Zak: How about if we each get ourselves a donut instead. 

Kirk: That's a great idea, bud.

Zak: I love you, Papa.

Kirk: Ohhhhh... I love you, too, Zak.

Zak: (whispering) And I love donuts. 

Kirk: What was that, buddy?

Zak: I love you so much.

Love

Quit being annoyed with me, and just be in love with me.

~ Michelle Boettcher

- - - - -

Love isn't "never having to say you're sorry." That's stupid. Love is never doing anything you have to say sorry for. And if you make a mistake, that's it. The love is over. 

(pause)

Love is pretty rigid.
 

Triangle

I've been in a few love triangles. I've been in a love quadrilateral.

~ Beau Mirchoff

- - - - -

What if instead of calling them "love triangles" we called them, "love tryangles." 

We'd be spelling it wrong, that's what!
 

Sky

The sky is the part of creation that nature has done for the sake of pleasing man.

~ John Ruskin

- - - - -

Power lines are the part of creation that man has done for the sake of pleasing man.
 

Evening

Every sunset brings the promise of a new day.

~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

- - - - -

Evening should be when the day evens out. But some days are odd days. 

Someone

An ordinary life is long if you live it together with someone else.

~ Fredrik Backman

- - - - -

And VERY long if you have to lie it with the wrong someone else.

(That is not my circumstance. I'm just reflecting on what others have shared with me.)
 

Mail

If you want something, it will elude you. If you do not want something, you will get ten of it in the mail.

~ Anna Quindlen

- - - - -

 I send myself emails all the time. Things I want to remember. Things I need to do. Things that make me laugh.

I get more email from me than from anyone else.

And I get so excited to see that I've written to me!

Magic

The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.

~ W. B. Yeats

- - - - -

The world is full of magic dogs waiting for our senses to grow sharper. And also waiting for belly rubs and treats.

 

Reading

There are some things that words can never truly capture; the depths of a person's mind is one of them.

~ Marie Benedict, The Mystery of Mrs. Christie

- - - - -

 Leslie: Oh my gosh! I was walking out of the Y and this woman came up and just started talking to me. She was yammering on and on. My first thought was, "Is this woman DRUNK at 9 o'clock in the morning"

Me: Friendly. It's called being friendly.

Leslie: Yes. I realized that.

GoGo

That's why Elsa wasn't especially impressed when her dad took her to that hotel in Spain and explained that it was "all inclusive" there. Because if you have a granny, your whole life is "all inclusive."

~ Frekrik Backman

- - - - -

I think a good grandmother is one that breaks rules and social norms in the pursuit of creating memories. It is someone who pursues fun or who teaches you things that you will remember for your entire life.

Now I think a great grandmother is your grandma or grandpa's mother.

Gas

When it comes out the hole in your bottom, it's a fart, also called passing gas.

~ Shinta Cho

- - - - -

Driving by a station and not refueling is also called "passing gas," but if you say, "I'm passing gas" while you drive by a gas station, people will think you're talking about farts -- even if they can see the gas station right there!

People are idiots.

Death

Fairytales are what help us cope with funerals.

~ I saw this on Facebook one time

- - - - -

I don't think "No Loitering" signs are enough to keep ghosts away. 

Bird

No bird soars too high if he soars with his own wings.

~ William Blake

- - - - -

What about the bird on the hot air balloon? What about that, William Blake?

 

Future

What happens now determines what happens to the rest of the world.

~ T-Challa, Black Panther

- - - - -

I love this kid. He is the future. Will he use his powers for good or evil? We don't know, yet. Either way, I figure it's smart to stay on his good side.

Everyday

Maybe it's not about having a beautiful day, but about finding beautiful moments.

~ Anna White

- - - - -

You find what you are looking for. If you look for things to upset you, you can find them. If you look for things to be angry about, you can find them. If you look for things to complain about, you find them.

Similarly, if you look for joy, opportunities, laughter, and hope, you will find those things.

I'm looking for person fulfillment and tremendous wealth right now.

Hurt

People trample over flowers,

Yet only to embrace a cactus.

~ James Joyce

- - - - -

Sometimes when we grab hold of things that aren't good for us, we hold on very tightly. The hurt has to be worth something. If we let go, maybe we hurt ourselves for no reason. There must be something valuable in the pain. "Hold on," we sometimes tell ourselves. "It will all be worth it in the end."

And that is what Band-Aid has been banking on for generations.

Sky

Clouds in the sky very much resemble the thoughts in our minds! Both change perpetually from one second to another.

~ Mehmet Murat Ildan

- - - - -

Both clouds and thoughts can block out clarity - of the sky, of the mind. Both can be striking when you shine the right kind of light on them. Both clouds and thoughts only have the vowels "o" and "u" in them. 

(pause)

This last observation might be slightly less interesting and might lack the depth of the others. 
 

Past

They'll pay a lot of money for the past... in the future.

~ Tess Gunty

- - - - -

Once items accrue nostalgia and sentimentality, they become more expensive. If we could appreciate things in deep and meaningful ways in the moment, we would save money. We might have more joy and peace. 

Of course we would be late for most of our meetings because appreciation takes time.

Cross

You look like a talent scout for a cemetery.

~ Henny Youngman

- - - - -

If you say "criss cross applesauce" in a cemetery, people are going to look at you weird. Not the dead people, though. They aren't as judgy as the alive people.

Gratitude

It is not joy that makes us grateful; it is gratitude that makes us joyful.

~ David Stenidl-Rast

- - - - - 

I read the other day that gratitude is driven by overcoming or avoiding something challenging or bad. The author suggested that instead we should seek appreciation. I think either is fine. I just don't think we should seek suspicion, resentment, or hostility because we will find what we're looking for.

I am grateful you took the time to read this. I really appreciate it. 

Art

Have a boring life and make magnificent art.

~ Ethan Hawke (quoting some other person)

- - - - -

I like this quote a lot.

I also like this art. 

I just wish it had zombies in addition to the octopus and the Sasquatches. Sasquatch? Sasquatchi?

Maybe there isn't a plural for Sasquatch because you never see more than one at a time.

Life is full of mysteries.

And art.

 

Emerson

Live in the sunshine, swim the sea, drink the wild air.

~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

- - - - -

Ralph: This school sucks, man. Sucks (Macchio in Karate Kid)

Waldo: Where am I? (Inside voice in Where's Waldo books)

Emerson: Ooh, what a lucky man he was. (Lake and Palmer lyrics)

I think this is what they mean when they say that the whole is greater than the sum of its parts. 

(pause)

Actually, this probably isn't what they mean when they say that. 

Dock

Sittin' on the dock of the bay

wasting time

~ Otis Redding & Steve Cropper

- - - - -

It is not a waste of time to sit on the dock of the bay. Well, unless you're complaining. You should be enjoying the dock. And the bay. And the sunshine. And the clouds. 

Even if it looks like nothing's going to change and everything still remains the same, don't complain. 

Just enjoy the scenery. 

 

Hallway

So runs tonight's tale of the unusual, the terrifying, the unknown. Join us again when we next journey down the corridors of The Hall of Fantasy to hear another tale of the supernatural...

~ The Hall of Fantasy 

- - - - -

You might not think that those are scary lines. But what if there is a timpani drum in the background while a guy says those lines? And what if you are 11? And what if your parents told you not to listen to that show at bedtime? And what if you hear your parents coming to your room because they heard your radio?

Scared now?!!!!

(pause)

Um. 

Nope. Me neither. I'm not scared, you're scared. 
 

Daybreak

You are more dangerous than daybreak.

~ Holly Black

- - - - -

Daybreak is destructive. It shatters the night. 

It can also be your lucky break if you work to make that happen. It can be a bad break if you simply wait for things to happen to you. 

The day is what you make it. So get to work. 

Or not. (But really, you probably should).
 

Seat

The seat of the soul is where the inner world and the outer world meet.

~ Joseph Campbell

- - - - -

I need to have the seat of my soul reupholstered. It is getting worn out by the outer world. I'm thinking of having it done in polyethylene because I've read it's pretty durable. I know wool can be durable, too, but it can be itchy. I've never had an itchy soul, but I feel confident that is a bad thing.

Riddle

I've always been able to charm the people I needed.

~ Tom Riddle

- - - - -

Voldemort: Knock Knock

Person: Who's there?

Voldemort: Volde-- I mean Tom Riddle

Person: Go away.

Voldemort: Don't you mean "Tom Riddle who?"

Person: No. Get out of my yard!

Messages

In my songs, I try to look through someone else's eyes, and I want to give the audience a feeling more than a message.

~ John Prine

- - - - -

I think a good message to send to people is "I saw what you did and I want money." Try texting that to a few people and see what happens. 

(pause)

Maybe use a friend's phone to send the texts, though.

House-Made

 

Most of us have fond memories of food from our childhood. Whether it was our mom's homemade lasagna or a memorable chocolate birthday cake, food has a way of transporting us back to the past. 

~ Homaro Cantu

- - - - -

I can't remember what Leslie and I were watching, but we kept seeing a Dairy Queen commercial promoting their "house-made Hidden Valley Ranch." 

House-Made. 

That means they mix the powder and the buttermilk together on their own.

How chef-y.

Beautiful

We're all flawed, beautiful people; we're all flawed, beautiful creatures.

~ Stacey Barthe

- - - - - 

I like Ezra's artwork and all, but I have to say I hate it when I see little kids giving someone the bird.

Morning

Each morning we are born again. What we do today is what matters most.

~ Buddha

- - - - -

I was part of a share a quote thing a few years ago. My friend Jen sent me this quote, I like it. It's another way of saying, "Forgive yourself for the evils of yesterday. You were learning. Do better today." That's what it means for me.

Not for you. For everyone else it means, "Fix those awful things you did yesterday. And why don't you sit down and reflect on those things. Especially the things you did to Michelle."

 

Mail

Jim Henson was the only piece of fan mail I wrote when I was a little kid.

~ Neil Patrick Harris

- - - - -

It might be good that a lot of people don't write me fan letters. That would be additional work for the USPS, and as we can see from this photo of an actual mail carrier at work, he's already pulled his hair out. I seriously do not want to add to his stress.

 

Grandmothering

If nothing is going well, call your grandmother.

~ Italian Proverb

- - - - -

Parents' job is to ensure you have food and shelter. It is the job of grandmothers to make sure you eat whipped cream from the can and have helter skelter.

(Not the Charles Manson kind, though.)

Abandoned

The richness of life lies in memories we have forgotten.

~ Cesare Pavese

- - - - -

We wear our memories on our skin whether we remember them or not. We may not remember joyful days at an amusement park. We may not remember the day the amusement park closed. We may not remember when the tattoo parlor went up where the old Ferris wheel used to be. We may not remember why we got "Life is butt a dream" tattooed on the back of our upper left thigh. 

What's important is that we experienced these things and that we not drink so much before we get our next tattoo, and that we do a better job of spellchecking our next tattoo.

Doors

Look at every exit as being an entrance to somewhere else.

~ Tom Stoddard

- - - - -

Lily learned to open the front door of the cabin to go outside and the back door to go inside. I guess any dog is a doggie door if your dog knows how to open it.

Change

People can cry much easier than they can change.

~ James Baldwin

- - - - -

This is especially true for babies.
 

Sky

The sky is an infinite movie to me. I never get tired of looking at what's happening up there.

~ k. d. lang

- - - - -

I think looking up is a good thing to do. You can look up and admire the clouds. You can look up and see a rainbow. You can look up in your hour of need, asking for something you feel you cannot do without. Of course, if your hour of need comes during a solar eclipse, you can probably assume the answer to your request is, "No." And also that in addition to the answer, the universe might say to you, "Instead of that thing you thought you needed, don't you wish you could see instead of having stared into a solar eclipse?"

The universe answers your questions. 
 

Morning

I arise in the morning torn between a desire to improve (or save) 

the world and a desire to enjoy (or savor) the world. 

This makes it hard to plan the day.

~ E. B. White

- - - - -

I love mornings. They are quiet since I get up before most other people - at least in my house. Mornings are quiet in my head, too. The noise of others' voices hasn't gotten going yet. My own - often negative - self-talk is also quieter early in the day.

Sometimes, I wish mornings could last forever. They don't, though. Eventually, I want some lunch.

Lights

Never fear the shadows. They simply mean there's a light shining somewhere nearby.

~Ruth E. Renkel

- - - - -

And never forget that light could be a torch being carried by the townspeople. 

Non-Jagoff

Jagoff or jag-off is an American English derogatory slang term from Pittsburghese, meaning a person who is a jerk, stupid, or inept.

~ Wikipedia

- - - - -

It is good to try and not be a jerk, stupid, or inept. However, it is also good to be nice, say kind things, and not go negative all the time. These things overlap. Another way to think about this is, "If you can't say something nice about others, say something nice about yourself." My friend Myles said that this was his takeaway after my comments at the awards section of the conference. I was happy to give the award I had won the previous year to a friend and colleague. I was also happy to tell everyone how prestigious the award is and that I was proof of that prestige.

I'm pretty sure everyone loved my brilliant comments.

Breathe

If you want to conquer the anxiety of life, live in the moment, live in the breath.

~ Amit Ray

- - - - -

I saw an ad recently for a virtual asthma study. I have some questions about whether "virtual" relates to the asthma or the study. 

Mail

I love the rebelliousness of snail mail, and I love anything that can arrive with a postage stamp. There's something about that person's breath and hands on the letter.

~ Diane Lane

- - - - -

And their spit, too.

Doll

Nothing scares me more than people with some doll collection.

~ Karl Lagerfeld

- - - - -
 Sometimes, things are "one of a kind" for a reason.

New

This is a new year. A new beginning. And things will change.

~ Taylor Swift

- - - - -

Person 1: Should I just throw away this old body pillow, or is there someplace I could donate it?

Person 2: Do you know what a body pillow has to have gone through in order to need to be replaced? No one wants that.
 

Dreams

Nothing happens unless first we dream.

~ Carl Sandburg

- - - - -

I forget where, but I heard this recently: "One does not chase dreams. You build them." I like that. It is true. Some people think having a dream is enough. Rarely, if ever, is that true. If you aren't taking action to pursue your dreams, you will unlikely achieve them.

This is complicated when it comes to dogs, though. Because I think sometimes dogs dream of chasing things. What do you do with that?

Sun

A story has no beginning or end: arbitrarily one chooses that moment of experience from which to look back or from which to look ahead.

~ Graham Greene

- - - - -

What if there was a story where every character in the book had a different starting point and you couldn't really tell what order things happened in and you got confused about who knew what and if things had happened or if they were going to happen or even if the characters in the book were reliable in how they told their parts of the story?

That's how I feel all the time.