Thanksgiving

I hate turkeys. If you stand in the meat section at the grocery store long enough, you start to get mad at turkeys. There's turkey ham, turkey bologna, turkey pastrami. Someone needs to tell the turkey, "Man, just be yourself." 

~ Mitch Hedberg

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I believe that if you are followed by a turkey at any point in your life it means a lifetime of health, happiness, and wealth. I believe that because I was followed by a turkey one time, and I really want that to be true.