Groceries

I went down the street to the 24-hour grocery.  When I got there, the guy was locking the front door.  I said, "Hey, the sign says you're open 24 hours."  He said, "Yes, but not in a row!"

~ Steven Wright

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My dad told this joke one time.  

There was this hit man and his name was Artie.  One day a guy came up and said, "Artie - I need you to kill someone for me."

Artie said, "Okay, but it's going to cost you."

The guy said, "Well, I actually need you to kill three people."

Artie said, "Well, that will cost you more."

The guy said, "Is there any chance you can give me a price break?  I don't have much money."

Artie said, "Well, how much have you got?"

The guys said, "I have $5."

Artie thought about it for a while but finally said, "Okay.  I can do that."

So the three people Artie was supposed to kill were all at the supermarket one day.  Artie had been following one of them, but when he saw all of them there, he snuck up on each one and strangled them right there in the grocery store.

The newspaper headline the next day read, "Artie Choke Three for $5 at the Supermarket."

Now, at the time, I think it was actually $1, but since I had this photo, I changed it to keep up with inflation.  And I'm not saying that my dad made up this joke.  He might have.  He might not have.  The troubling part is that he could have made it up.  He could have.

And that's part of the reason why we children turned out the way we did.

The moral of the story is the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.  Just trying to keep with the grocery theme since our parents do produce us.