Dislike

There are people who dislike you because you do not dislike yourself.

~ Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie

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As I was working on my blog last night Kirk Facetimed me to show me a red and gold frame he and Jared used on the photo of my grandmother with Roman soldiers. When she was in Rome. The red of the frame matched the red of the Roman soldiers' outfits. Kirk he and Jared originally got the frame as a joke because it was so ugly, but it was perfect for this photo for their family photo wall.

This all reminds me of the old proverb: 

One man's trash is another man's trash, but he buys it because it's so awful and then it becomes that second man's treasure.

Crab

Have you ever watched a crab on the shore walking backward in search of the Atlantic Ocean and missing? That's the way the mind of man works.

~ H. L. Mencken

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I am not sure if I have made this explicitly clear or not, but Leslie is really quite a philosopher. She uses her philosophical insights in a passive-aggressive way sometimes, but they are insights nonetheless. 

For instance, the other day when I forgot to get out a new bar of soap to replace the one that was used up, she said:

Leslie: If we can afford crab legs, we can afford soap.

Pretty insightful, right?

I guess it's worth mentioning that we had crab legs the day before. Without mentioning that it makes Leslie sound like she is just babbling about random things.

But maybe that's what philosophical insights are.

Curating

An exhibition is in many ways a series of conversations. Between the artist and viewer, curator and viewer, and between the works of art themselves. It clicks when an exhibition feels like it has answered some questions and raised even more.

~ Thelma Golden

- - - - -

On the day of her TedTalk, Leslie was introducing Luci and Maureen and me to some of the students who helped put it together. She identified one student and said, "He's the curator." She paused then added, "I don't even know what a curator is."

Maureen replied, "Leslie - you were a librarian. You KNOW what a curator is."

To me this is evidence that we all need friends who will tell us we know more than we think we know.

And we also need friends who will call us liars when we are lying.

And in the best of circumstances, those are a bundled skill set.

Movement

                   


                   


                   


                                                            

All that is important is this one moment in movement. Make the moment important, vital, and worth living. Do not let it slip away unnoticed and unused.

~ Martha Graham

- - - - -

I don't know if Leslie knows that Martha Graham quote or not, but she sure does live by it.

Thinking

To find yourself, think for yourself. 

~ Socrates

- - - - -

On a trip one time, I was trying to take the luggage cart from our hotel room to the car. Leslie said, "So, you put the luggage cart --"

"I THINK I CAN FIGURE OUT WHERE TO PUT A LUGGAGE CART," I stated angrily. I hate being micromanaged and told what to do. It goes way back to my childhood. I hate it. Just let me do what I'm doing or YOU do it so I don't have to. Don't tell me how to do everything.

Anyway, I stormed off with the cart. It was moments later I realized I was going in the wrong direction and ended up at the ice machines instead of the front door.

I think we both learned a valuable lesson from this. I learned I'm an idiot sometimes. Leslie learned - well, she also learned that I'm an idiot sometimes.

Lincoln

I have a congenital aversion to failure.

~ Abraham Lincoln

- - - - -

I know Lincoln was assassinated in a theatre. I wonder if we'd engage with that part of our history in a different way if he had been watching a 3D movie and had these glasses on.

(pause)

I guess we'd think, "Wow. He was way ahead of his time," because 3D cinema didn't even exist then.

Antiques

We had two grand antique professors who had been teaching at Lombard since before I was born. 

~ Carl Sandburg

- - - - -

I'd like to be a grand antique professor. But I'd prefer no one call me that to my face for 50 or 60 years. Until then, "grand professor" will suffice.

Play-Doh

When the dog bites

When the bee stings

When I'm feeling bad

I simply remember my favorite things

And then I don't feel

So bad

~ Oscar Hammerstein II

- - - - -

That's nice, but simply remembering Play-Doh isn't going to keep you from getting rabies.

Awards

I'm an example of what it looks like when support and love is poured into someone.

~ Regina King

- - - - -

Tonight the Oscars are on. The quote above is one of the things that Regina King said at last year's Oscars. The award above is an award that my nephew Zak recently got.

He has a lot of support and love poured into him, too. Does that mean I expect him to win an Oscar? No. It doesn't have to be an Oscar. It could be a Nobel Prize or an appointment to the Supreme Court.

I just hope all my support and love doesn't go to waste, that's all.

Snow

The snow doesn't give a soft white damn whom it touches.

~ e. e. Cummings

- - - - - -

I hope we have a snow day this winter. I have had more snow days in South Carolina than I ever did in Iowa. It's about preparation. They don't have a lot of snow plows here and people don't know how to drive as well in the snow.

The winter before I moved here from Ames, Iowa, we got a LOT of snow. I believe our grand total was a lot of snow.

Dolls

I like sitting close to windows.

~ Parker Posey

- - - - -

Tilda woke up ready to go. She was excited for another day of adventure. Margot, on the other hand was not quite awake yet. She thought about the dream she had been having just moments ago. She was riding a unicorn and beating Tilda with a stick.

Thoughts

We are shaped by our thoughts; we become what we think. When the mind is pure, joy follows like a shadow that never leaves.

~ Buddha

- - - - -

A while back, Leslie came into the office where I was working to share a story with me. Here it is...

Leslie: I just realized something.

Me: What?

Leslie: I got a notification the other day about Kirk's birthday. It said it was from M and I was annoyed because I knew it was Kirk's birthday and I didn't need reminding. The last one of those notifications I got was from you about Jared's birthday -- which I also knew about. Today I got one about my friend Steph's birthday and you aren't even friends with her, so I didn't know how you knew and why you reminded me. Then I realized it wasn't you. It was "M" a reminder thing on Facebook.

Me: So you thought I was an idiot.

Leslie: I didn't say that out loud. I didn't even tell you about it because it sounded unkind.

Me: I think you should apologize for it.

Leslie: Apologize? No. I didn't say it. I just thought it.

Me: That doesn't make me feel better. You're going around annoyed with me and thinking I'm a doofus and not talking to me about it.

Leslie: Right. I didn't want to say anything because I didn't want to be unkind.

Me: But if it had been true, I could have changed my behavior to be less annoying...  But it wasn't true.

Leslie: Right. Isn't that good that I didn't say anything?

Me: No ---

Leslie: I didn't even have to tell you this story, but I am.

Me: The story of you thinking I was an annoying idiot.

Leslie: You're welcome. See? You never know (pointing to her own head) what's going on in here!

Me: That is not reassuring.

Leslie: You're welcome.

Beach

I honestly think the beach is the only place children actually entertain themselves.

~ Donna McLavy

- - - - - 

I like seeing children playing on the beach. It's good for them to be outside and running around or swimming or building things in the sand. Well, I don't like seeing children playing on the beach if they're playing Operation. I hate that game.

Women

 

That we have the vote means nothing. That we use it the right way means everything.

~ Lou Henry Hoover

- - - - -

I did this women's suffrage puzzle, but the real puzzle is not the jigsaw puzzle. No. The REAL puzzle is why all the white women on the puzzle looked like Mrs. Maisel.

Plates

I say peace begins on your plate.

~ Jane Velezmitchell

- - - - -

I just learned that the difference between dishes and plates is that plates are generally flat and designed to hold food with little liquid content. Dishes are a broader category that could include plates or bowls or serving dishes.

Of course when you grow up in a house that refers to these kinds of things as "food frisbees" I guess the above might be irrelevant. Also, what an awesome house to grow up in.

Traps

A trap is only a trap if you don't know about it. If you know about it, it's a challenge.

~ China Mieville

- - - - -

This is so true. Like the game Mousetrap. That's just a challenge. 

Whereas the game Hogtrap is a trap. I am assuming. 

Also, this reminds me - it's a good thing animals can't read. Well, not really a good thing for the animals.

Sweeping

Just like sweeping the streets, sweep the unnecessary things from your mind, too; keep your mind clean.

~ Mehmet Murat Ildan

- - - - -

So if I don't sweep the streets, does that mean I don't have to keep a clean mind?

Asking for a friend.

(Not really asking for a friend.)

Register

As the sign over the cash register made clear, the three ways you could get your coffee at Chester's were sweetened, unsweetened, and somewhere else.

~ Amor Towles

- - - - -

I don't drink coffee. People think that is weird sometimes. The only time I feel like it's weird is when trying to schedule an informal meeting with someone. I don't say, "You want to meet for coffee." If I said that and we met for coffee and I didn't get coffee, they might think I was weird.

Wait. People already think this is weird. 

It is slightly less weird in my mind, though, than saying, "Hey, you wan to meet for juice?"

Noise

He who establishes his argument by noise and command shows that his reason is weak.

~ Michel de Montaigne

- - - - -

Michel de Montaigne died more than 400 years ago. His statement remains true today. There is so much noise today across society. It's as if we have given everyone a noisemaker forgetting that many people are already noisemakers unto themselves. We don't need to give them more tools to amplify.

On a positive note, there are a lot of cool words that are synonyms for noise: hubbub, racket, din, cacophony.

Although today I think a respelling of cacophony might be useful. It's more like caca-phony. Volume doesn't equal truth.

WTH?

I had nothing to offer anyone except my own confusion.

~ Jack Kerouac

- - - - -

I find this photo confusing. Jared was either playing with Zak or playing with an empty car seat. I think the former.

Lots of things are confusing, though.

To me the photo above is not as confusing as when Leslie had gall bladder issues and had to go to the hospital. She told me she had to get euthanized. She either meant "anesthetized" or else her gall bladder hurt a lot more than mine did before I had it out.

Processes

There is no end to education. It is not that you read a book, pass an examination, and finish with education. The whole of life from the moment you are born to the moment you die, is a process of learning.

~ Jiddu Krishnamurti

- - - - -

I am glad that - at least generally speaking - it is a process of learning new things. I'd hate to have to go back to fifth grade to learn fractions. Of course, I sort of do go back to fifth grade to learn fractions periodically in my dreams. But not the nice kind of dreams. The kinds of dreams that give you anxiety, but then you should feel a relief when you wake up and realize its was just a dream, but you don't feel relief because the dream was so intense. 

What do you dream about?

(This is a purely rhetorical question.)

Beer

Whoever drinks beer, he is quick to sleep; whoever sleeps long, does not sin; whoever does not sin, enters Heaven! Thus, let us drink beer!

~ Martin Luther

- - - - -

I think Martin Luther would like the song, "In Heaven there is No Beer." 

Horse

My soul is an empty carousel at sunset.

~ Pablo Neruda

- - - - -

"Hm," thought the horse. "Again today no one purchased me."

No one purchased the horse because of his boring thoughts. If only they had looked beyond those thoughts and appreciated his horse sense. Then he would have been purchased immediately. Except that his mane was weird and people who purchase carousel horses don't always look beyond appearances.

Sewer

Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die.

~ Mel Brooks

- - - - -

This quote made me laugh out loud. The real kind, not the "LOL" kind.

It made me laugh out loud in public. I don't mind. I think there is enough anger or at least negativity out loud in public, so some laughter is a good thing. 

That said, I am glad no one asked me what I was laughing about. First, it wouldn't have been as funny if I explained it. Second, not everyone has the same sense of humor that I do -- though many of us wish they did.

Muddlety

Never explain what you do. It speaks for itself. You only muddle it by talking about it.

~ Shel Silverstein

- - - - -

I have a friend Craig. If he started a town and called it Craigsville, I would hope it would be muddlety. Muddlety isn't a real word. My friend Craig isn't a real person.

(pause)

I'm just kidding. He's real.

Seriously, if I had an imaginary friend, I'd give him a better name than "Craig."

Creativity

Creativity involves breaking out of established patterns in order to look at things in a different way.

~ Edward de Bono

- - - - -

I'm writing in a coffee shop right now. There have been three or four other people who have come in and written here today. Right now there is just one guy. He is sitting at the table directly in front of me. He has a book he is reading and has his laptop open.

Do I worry that what he is doing and thinking and writing is "better" than what I am doing and thinking and writing? No. That's silly. It's not a competition.

But if it was a competition, I would win.

Dog

My fashion philosophy is if you're not covered in dog hair, your life is empty.

~ Elayne Boosler

- - - - -

I believe that a dog is man's best friend. I don't believe that man is a dog's best friend. I think a dog's best friend is another dog because dogs are almost everyone's best friend. Except for cats. And squirrels. And chicken. Especially fried chicken. And fire hydrants. And trees. And light poles. But if you think about fire hydrants and trees and light poles those are just places where dogs leave messages for other dogs - like a note from a friend. Thus dogs are a dog's best friend. 

Masks

We understand how dangerous a mask can be. We all become what we pretend to be.

~ Patrick Rothfuss

- - - - -

When I was a kid I had a Halloween costume of an astronaut. I wore it for several years in a row. I didn't become an astronaut. 

Patrick Rothfuss is a liar.

Paddle

As one goes through life, one learns that if you don't paddle your own canoe, you don't move.

~Katharine Hepburn

- - - - -

My parents used to warn me a lot to be careful because if I made bad choices I would be "up a crick without a paddle." That never once happened to me. I have never been "up a crick without a paddle." That's some good parenting there. Or - more accurately - that's some really good listening on my part.

Secure

I'm very secure about my talents and who I am.

~ Dolly Parton

- - - - -

I guess when you're securing a bathroom stall door, if one lock doesn't work, install another. It's kind of like that with toxic people, too. If one sort of protection doesn't work. Of course, the best protection of all is probably not using a stall with a broken lock and not spending time around toxic people. 

Especially don't spend time with toxic people IN a bathroom stall.

But DO listen to the Dolly Parton's America podcast.

Babies

I love these little people; and it is not a slight thing when they, who are so fresh from God, love us.

~ Charles Dickens

- - - - -

I mostly like babies. I don't think all babies are beautiful in how they look, but I think all babies are pretty beautiful in that they represent life. 

I don't like baby Yoda, though.