Cowbell

I got a fever and the only prescription is MORE COWBELL!

~ Christopher Walken (SNL)

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Me:  Let's start a band.  Can I be the tambourine player?

Suzanne:  Only if I can play the gong and cow bell...

Me:  I forgot about the cowbell.  I'll be playing it, too.  You can play the triangle and the castanets, though.

Suzanne:  Why do you get the cowbell?  I have a master's degree in cowbell...  I think I'm more qualified.

Me:  I have a doctorate in cowbell.

Suzanne:  I've toured internationally on a solo tour of cowbell performance.  You can't beat that.  You just can't...

Me:  I invented the cowbell.

Suzanne:  See...  Now you're making stuff up....  The cowbell was invented by Vincent C. Bell in 1837...  He kept losing his cows, so he decided to strap a bell on them so he could find them easily...  In 1839 his wife, Elise Bell, discovered that these lovely bells made a great instrument.   Anyone with an advanced degree in cowbell should know this!

Me:  No, my friend, YOU are the one fictionalizing.  The cowbell was...  Okay, I didn't INVENT it, but I was the first one to use it as an instrument.  And Vincent's wife's name was not Elise, it was Tinker.  The sound of a cowbell can free up those clogged neural transmission routes in your brain so that you can think more clearly.  That, of course I did NOT discover. That was Elias Theenkstumutch.  He was German.  You should be familiar with his research.